If No Gun Control, Then People Control

September 18, 2013

By Cole

So, within spitting distance of the White House and the Capitol, some nut walks into the Navy Yard, mows down 12 innocent people, and wounds 8 more before getting shot dead himself.

At the risk of sounding jaded, I’m not even bothering to register this latest punk’s name because the funerals probably won’t even be over before someone else tries to top his body count.

We now know the guy was a well-documented mental case with an irrational shooting incident in his past. He bought his latest weapon in Virginia.

We’re in the process of updating our slogan, “Virginia is for Lovers,” with “Virginia is for Mass Murderers.”

After doing a little target practice and undergoing a perfunctory 4-minute background check that came up clean, the killer waltzed off with an 870 Remington pump-action shotgun under his arm.

No doubt, people will respond to this latest atrocity by dashing out to buy more guns and bullets, and Congress will do nothing. Complaints will be made about the inadequate mental health system, but nothing will change.

So here’s my proposal…

If we won’t stop people from buying guns, let’s declare every person who tries to buy a gun insane until they can prove beyond a doubt otherwise. To crib from Jeff Foxworthy…

You must be insane if… You hear about a mass shooting and want to go buy a gun.

You must be insane if… You think ANYBODY not actively serving in a war should have access to an assault rifle (or a Hummer).

You must be insane if… You’re a member of the NRA because your poster boy, Wayne La Pierre, isn’t wrapped too tight. Extra point against you if you haven’t noticed.

You must be insane if… You ever think the answer to killing is more killing.

You must be insane if… You think it’s OK for any child to live in a home where there’s a gun or with adults who have a gun they can shoot.

You must be insane if… You think it’s OK to bring a gun into a grocery store, Starbucks, church or any other place fellow human beings peacefully congregate.

I may be totally disgusted with humans shooting each other, but I’m ready to accept their empty-headed rationalization that guns don’t kill people, people do.

So now let’s admit that people who think they need a gun are CRAZY. Let’s get serious about keeping weapons away from them.

Let the stores be full of guns. Just make it next to impossible for anybody to prove they NEED one.

And THAT’S how we could have avoided the shooting in Washington.


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