Trump’s a Product of Poor Potty Training

January 10, 2017

By Karen

Donald Trump’s introduction to the toilet must have been so traumatic it’s influencing all his behavior today. My theory is that Trump’s nannies didn’t praise every boom-boom he made effusively enough to suit him so, as an adult, he wants to force the world to make it up to him.

It would be unseemly and messy for Trump to go around literally dropping deuces for all to admire, although I don’t rule it out in the future as his mind continues to unravel. Right now, his bathroom sessions mostly manifest as tweets.

Trump spends an inordinate time on Twitter. It’s like he’s trying to outdo himself by making every tweet stink more than the last, intended to dazzle and shock and elicit praise for his cleverness.

So far, we’ve seen Trump raise his leg on the established etiquette of quietly getting up to speed on his new job while the current president finishes his term undisturbed. Trump has pissed all over Obama’s recent decisions on Israel, Russia, and Gitmo. He’s sprayed diarrhea in the face of the media and our intelligence agencies. He tries to dominate every news cycle like a petulant brat who can’t stand NOT to be the adults’ center of attention.

He does all this while fomenting the Porta-Potty stench of nepotism, conflicts of interest, and even treason that will hang over Washington for the duration of his term like the rankest aftershave.

Trump obviously believes the more he reeks, the more attention he gets. And if it’s negative, that’s OK. It’s more fodder for his Twitter dumps.

We see Trump strut and preen, smirk and gloat like an evil toddler with a load in his pants, seeking to foul the shoes of the next grownup who crosses him. Just ask Meryl Streep, who decried at the Golden Globes everything Trump stands for…

His closest advisors (his son-in-law?) and billionaire cabinet members — unqualified, lacking appropriate experience, and some even opposed to the very existence of the entities they’ll oversee — are little more than a pile of steaming turds Trump’s shoveling at Congress with glee. We can only hope some get flushed during confirmation hearings.

At this point, it doesn’t matter who you voted for. No rational adult can be watching Trump’s boorish, fact-free, childishly destructive approach to running this country and not be filled with dread.

China already has Trump’s number, and it’s No. 2. To celebrate their upcoming Year of the Rooster, they erected in Taiyuan on Dec. 24 this giant sculpture with Trump’s hairstyle and hand gestures.

© STR/AFP/Getty Images

© STR/AFP/Getty Images


GOP Gives Trump No Reason to Change

August 15, 2016

By Karen

Republican Senator Susan Collins of Maine last week withdrew her support of Donald Trump, based mainly on three incidents: 1) Trump belittled and mocked a disabled reporter, 2) Trump declared American-born federal Judge Gonzalo Curiel unfit to preside over the Trump University trial because he’s of Mexican descent, and 3) Trump verbally pissed all over the Khans, who sacrificed their son in Iraq.

The list of Trump’s attacks and atrocities is growing so long, so fast, nobody can keep up with it. In a series of recent tweets, he called the same media that has given him billions of dollars’ worth of free exposure “disgusting and corrupt.”

I have to agree. I’m disgusted that every news outlet has thoroughly corrupted itself with 24/7 Trump coverage. There’s no escaping him in print, on TV, or online.

Collins wrote…

“I had hoped that we would see a ‘new’ Donald Trump as a general-election candidate — one who would focus on jobs and the economy, tone down his rhetoric, develop more thoughtful policies and, yes, apologize for ill-tempered rants.”

Many other Republicans rue having no sightings of “new” Trump, even though Trump told CNN back in July, “I am what I am.”

What I don’t understand is why anybody ever thought a smart, decent Trump lurked under his offensive bluster. Throughout his public life, Trump has worn his thin-skinned, arrogant narcissism like a Purple Heart.

For him to feign “newness” in any way is to smear lip gloss on his orange head ferret.

Trump’s had 70 years to perfect the waste of human flesh he is. No number of votes will change him. Even if he tried, he’d drop the act under pressure and revert to type, giving us a deluded, paranoid maniac who can’t handle facts, making decisions that affect this country and the world.

Republicans can’t blame Trump for not re-inventing himself. If they had a shred of decency, they’d blame themselves for enabling him to this point. If they ever hope for redemption, they’d kick Trump to the curb today and let Mike Pence take over (not that he’d win, but… any port in a storm).

BONUS: Kathleen Parker is the first columnist I’ve seen to use the “D” word to explain Trump — dementia — which I said back in June. And she does it using some grounded first-hand experience with the effects of brain damage.


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