Melania Moves to DC: Too Little, Too Late

June 15, 2017

By Karen

Melania Trump woke up recently and remembered she’s a U.S. citizen. She’s also an unwilling first lady now, but nonetheless it’s her duty to protect us from her husband if she can. Special Counsel Robert Mueller is closing in fast on Trump, and the orange man-baby is figuratively throwing furniture around the White House, trying to elude capture.

Maybe James Comey’s testimony about Trump’s self-destructive behavior behind closed doors made Melania realize it’s time to get in the game. Or maybe Ivanka’s failure to control Daddy with her insipid whining, or Jared’s looming legal peril for being a naïve brat who thinks he can swim with the sharks, convinced her.

Whatever the reason, on Sunday, June 11, Melania, son Barron, and Melania’s parents officially moved to Washington. Crossing the White House lawn, Melania even let Trump hold her hand for a few moments before pulling away and shifting her purse so he couldn’t. Watch it on MSN. It starts at about 1:00.

Embed from Getty Images

Perhaps that gesture was his early, and only, birthday present.

Within a day or so of Melania’s arrival, Trump did a complete 180 on his health care bill, whose cruelty he had celebrated in the Rose Garden. Now he calls it “mean.” Coincidence? I think not.

Of course, Trump lacks any grasp of that bill to give specifics on what should change. You can almost hear the Trumps’ conversation. This is probably all Melania had to say to change his mind…

“Donald, the people who voted for you, you know, the poor and ignorant ones. Health care is the only thing the government has done for them in many years. If you take it away now, they will say you are mean, and maybe they won’t vote for you again.”

But let’s pause to reflect on poor Barron. This kid’s siblings are all old enough to be his parents and his father could be his grandfather. And now he’s stuck in the White House all summer, probably cramped in one room, not a whole floor like he had in Trump Tower, with only the Secret Service for company. He has no opportunities to make friends his own age before he attends a new school in the fall.

I don’t know if Barron had any friends back in NYC. He reminds me of a stalk of white asparagus — frail, spindly, devoid of personality. I guess that’s what happens to a child when you raise it in solitude, without sunlight or exercise. Let’s just hope he never turns orange.

Back to Melania: Of all the Trumps, I think she has NOT relied on Fox News for intel. She’s been watching CNN and MSNBC to see how Donald’s being attacked so she can play defense.

She probably started packing to move after she watched Dan Coats, Mike Rogers, and Jeff Sessions play coy with the Senate Intelligence Committee and make things worse. But it was already too late. They brought Washington to its senses and Trump IS now being investigated for obstruction of justice.

Happy 71st Birthday, Mr. President!

This feels to me like Chris Christie’s Bridgegate, but with much higher stakes. Trump must agree with me, because his choice to replace Comey as FBI director is Christopher Wray, Christie’s personal attorney, who’s quite familiar with how these setups work.

Trump surrounded himself with established Russians tools Paul Manafort, Carter Page, and Mike Flynn because he knew he couldn’t beat Hillary without help — and Russia offered to help.

No other presidential campaign in history ever had so many unexplained interactions with Russians. Trump knew what his minions were doing because he’s a micromanager. Like Christie’s, they operated under orders not to say or write anything tying Trump to their activities.

But once they got caught, micromanager Trump swooped in to stop the investigation, and now he’s in the soup with them.

Obstruction of justice charges may segue into conflicts of interest, illegal business dealings, perjury, and even treason. The snowball is rolling down the hill now. Any Trump attempts to stop it will only bury him, Jared, and their cronies in a deeper avalanche.

Melania can’t save Trump now, and she probably knows it. But she’ll look worse if she doesn’t at least try to stand by her man.

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Melania Trump, Second Fiddle First Lady

January 25, 2017

By Adele

After Donald Trump’s demeanor toward his trophy wife Melania on inauguration day, I get why she’s staying in New York with Barron. Maybe her absence will make Trump’s cold black heart grow fonder.

This video has been circulating, comparing how the Obamas and Trumps arrived at the White House on their big days. It’s telling…

NOTE 2/1/17: Aha, the video above is broken. Trump’s stifling of the First Amendment has begun. Fortunately, his boorish and dismissive behavior toward Melania during those moments is an irrefutable matter of public record…

Melania seems to know 10 paces behind Trump is the safest place to be.

And now watch both men and their wives at the inauguration ceremony…

Melania at 46 still looks like a model. Two days after the inauguration, January 22, was the Trump’s 12th wedding anniversary. I couldn’t find a word about Trump noting the occasion; most reports filled the void by mentioning a 25-carat diamond ring he gave her on their 10th.

Melania’s gift to Trump was to fly back to New York.

Melania’s blue Ralph Lauren ensemble for the inauguration was chic, if a bit matchy-matchy. Didn’t anyone tell her there was serious walking involved and she needed sensible heels? Her dogs must have been barking that night. Trump did throw her the bone of holding her hand as they strutted along the parade route.

Everyone expected the billionaire’s wife’s inaugural ball gown to mesmerize and eclipse anything in recent memory, including Michelle Obama’s first one, with wads of dryer sheets stuck all over it.

President Donald Trump, left, arrives with first lady Melania Trump at the Liberty Ball, Friday, Jan. 20, 2017, in Washington. (AP Photo/Patrick Semansky)

President Donald Trump, left, arrives with first lady Melania Trump at the Liberty Ball, Friday, Jan. 20, 2017, in Washington. (AP Photo/Patrick Semansky)

Apparently, Melania helped Hervé Pierre, formerly of Carolina Herrera, design the gown. The result was a dress that dragged on the ground, a flounce that made her look wider from the side, and a slit almost up to her hoo-ha. And what was with that red string around her waist? A secret shout-out to Putin?

But after seeing how Trump treated her all day, I can imagine how she instructed Pierre…

“I must not have anything too showy. Make it as plain and simple as possible. No beads, no sparkle. Donald will be very upset with me if I upstage him. He must be the center of attention at all times or it will go very bad for me, if you know what I mean.”

So Pierre did his best to gussy up a sackcloth. On the positive side, if Melania can fend off the Smithsonian and lose the belt, that gown will make a dandy bathing suit cover-up this summer.

BONUS: Here’s some backstory on their lavish wedding. Notice Melania’s scary eyes right after the ceremony.


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