Biden Finally Cuts Our Losses in Afghanistan

August 20, 2021

By Karen

I support Joe Biden 100% in pulling out of Afghanistan now, and I’m glad he’s not apologizing for it. It’s been 20 years, and it’s hopeless. The only thing we actually managed to accomplish was a temporary reprieve for girls and women so they could get educated and hold jobs without being butchered for being female by twisted fundamentalist fanatics.

Even that small normalcy is probably dead now with the Taliban back in power.

It only took the Taliban 10 days to show us that all we thought we had “built” — a functioning government, a military 300,000 strong — were illusions.

Afghanistan is just as corrupt and chaotic as ever. Prolonging our presence a month, a year, a century won’t change that.

Afghanistan is a landlocked hellscape, suitable mostly for growing poppies for opium, of roughly 40 million inhabitants. 56% still live in poverty and fear, even though the U.S. has poured $2.6 trillion into defense and infrastructure.

Our two-decade occupation has been a clusterfuck. But rather than blaming Biden for it all, let’s refresh our memories that it was the brainchild of these three clowns…

Obama tried a troop surge, and then a draw-down after he killed Osama Bin Laden, who put the bull’s eye on Afghanistan in the first place by using it as al Qaeda’s base for planning 9/11.

As for Trump, investigations will probably reveal eventually that he saw an opportunity skim a cut of all that sweet U.S. aid for himself by “doing a deal.” So in 2019, he sent his stooge Mike Pompeo to work out the details with the Taliban.

In exchange for virtually nothing but the Taliban’s promise to be good, Trump freed 5,000 of their fighters, including their co-founder, Mullah Abdul-Ghani Baradar, who is Afghanistan’s new president this week. The chickenshit president we were propping up fled to the UAE as soon as he saw his army laying red carpet for the Taliban. Pompeo looks so pleased with his handiwork…

Trump’s deal included removing all American troops by [UPDATE: May 1, 2021. Biden delayed that to September 11, but then accelerated the pull-out to beat his new deadline]. The Taliban had only to mark the “Retake the Country” date on their calendars.

Biden accelerated the pull-out, apparently unaware that an Afghan military isn’t really a thing. Not only did Afghan soldiers not fight back, they handed the Taliban billions of dollars’ worth of the weapons and equipment we paid for.

Scenes of the scramble at the Kabul airport to evacuate U.S. citizens and Afghans who helped us have been sickening. Those people don’t have a single Afghan policeman or soldier to escort them and protect them. It’s entirely up to us to get them out of there. while the Taliban stands at the airport gates, whipping, beating, and shooting at them.

I blame our State Department and Immigration. They KNEW there would be a need for evacuation. For months, they could have been quietly running a clearance operation for evacuees. Instead, they’re gift-wrapping them in pointless red tape and handing them back to the Taliban for execution.

Our betrayal of those people who WERE brave enough to fight for their country is the shame the United States will never live down.

PS: Earlier this year, CBS launched a sitcom called The United States of Al, about an Afghan interpreter who comes to live with the Marine he helped. It’s been renewed for a second season, which starts in October. But right now, with interpreters being hunted and killed by the Taliban, making jokes about it feels like bad timing and terrible taste.


Chapter 93: COVID Chronicles

June 29, 2020

By Karen

Day 110

With Trump, No Surprises Left & I Get Creative with Leftovers

As if it weren’t enough for Trump to be killing us in droves with COVID at home, we learn he’s been happy to let Russia take out our soldiers by proxy in Afghanistan.

It seems Putin pays the Taliban bounties for American hides. And Trump now denies that he and Pence have known it for months.

I’ll concede it’s possible that Trump, with his dwindling mental capacity, has no memory of it. And Pence’s standard line for everything is, “Nobody never tells me nuttin’ about nuttin’.”

And maybe whenever Chickenshit Cheetos Cadet Bone Spurs salutes a soldier, it’s not his secret “Fuck You!” signal to our generals because he’s been helping his BFF Vladdy wipe out U.S. troops without wasting any Russian bullets.

When did we make it OK for presidents who commit cut-and-dried treason say, “You can’t blame me for treason because I’m too mentally incapacitated, but you still have to let me run the country”?

What I find most tedious about this latest crime is everyone’s totally predictable outrage and continuing questions.

If there’s one thing 100% consistent about Trump, whether he’s manifesting any heinous human trait you can imagine, or behaving with such depravity that it defies description, it’s that it’s always EXACTLY as bad as it looks.

Trump has NEVER said or done anything that left anyone saying, “Well, that certainly wasn’t as bad as we feared.”

Moreover, it usually gets worse as you peel away the putrid layers of corruption that envelop everything he touches.

These bounties will be no different. Trump has been green-lighting Putin’s Kill-Americans-for-Fun-and-Profit project.

Don’t be surprised if it’s eventually revealed that Putin pays Trump a percentage on every American kill. Trump’s never been one to pass up an opportunity to demand a cut for his beneficence. This will probably be no exception.

Back on the culinary front, last night I had leftover beef lo mein in the fridge from my favorite takeout place, China Taste. I jazzed it up with onions and broccoli doused in soy sauce and sesame oil, and sprinkled it with bits of boneless pork spare ribs. It turned out delicious…

For today’s lunch, I still haven’t bought lunchmeat, and had only a dab of Mediterranean pasta salad left. It swims in olive oil, so I added some diced tomato sprinkled with oregano. Then a few Kalamata olives. And for protein I had some hard salami sitting around, so why not? For that touch of green, capers. Finished off with feta cheese. Voila! Tasty little lunch…

Speaking of lo mein, does anybody know a good recipe for whatever’s on the noodles? I’ve tried several, but have never been able to duplicate that restaurant taste.


Is Bergdahl Worth It?

June 5, 2014

By Cole

Most people love movies where the hero looks doomed until the U.S. cavalry charges over the hill and saves him. Such relief was the first reaction to hearing Army Sergeant Bowe Bergdahl was being rescued from 5 years as a Taliban POW in Afghanistan…

…Until we learned we were swapping 5 terrorists at Guantánamo for him and Congress wasn’t told. Of course, we all know how that would have played out. Congress would rather let a million Bergdahls rot in Afghanistan than cooperate with Obama.

But then circumstances of Bergdahl’s capture began trickling out from soldiers who were there, like former Army captain Nathan Bethea, who believes Bergdahl deserted, and claims the rest of the troops were ordered not to talk about it.

And we heard that Bergdahl first shipped his personal belongings home, then wrote a note before he disappeared stating he was off “to start a new life” and left behind all his Army-issued protective gear. And he wasn’t lost on a night patrol, but deliberately left the base and made himself easy pickings for the Taliban.

And it’s possible that a bunch of soldiers doing their jobs were killed directly or indirectly as a result of Bergdahl’s actions and the subsequent search, but that’s yet to be confirmed.

And, bizarrely, Bergdahl got promoted to sergeant while he was missing, even though his superiors knew the fishiness of his disappearance. That was government bureaucracy at its finest.

On one paw, I’m proud of our commitment to bring home all American troops, even the crazies and the cowards. If they were bad soldiers, we can take comfort in the fact that the VA will treat them like dirt for the rest of their lives, or even let them die for want of medical care. What goes around…

On the other paw, I fear Bergdahl will become Obama’s good deed that doesn’t go unpunished when the freed terrorists shortly resume their quest to wipe out Americans — now with a REAL axe to grind against us.

Bergdahl remains in Germany being treated like a delicate flower, too physically and emotionally fragile to answer any questions about how or why the hell he got himself captured. It’s the American way to give him plenty of time to concoct a great story for the talk show rounds — you know they’re coming.

The cynical part of me wonders about the White House’s timing. Was Bergdahl meant to “Wag the Dog” and deflect attention from the VA mess?

Or was Obama’s intent to create another “We Got bin Laden!” moment by rescuing a hero? But like most everything Obama touches these days, it backfired because his minions didn’t do their homework and left Obama wiping egg off his face — yet again.

And this cat questions the wisdom of humans who, in the face of someone’s feckless disregard for their own safety — be it a troop or a tourist — decide to unmake the bed these fools have chosen to lie in and go to extraordinary means and expense to rescue them.

Is it worth it? I have no answer.


Is Karzai Losing It?

April 7, 2010

By Yul

Remember when Bush put Hamid Karzai in charge of Afghanistan? All anyone could talk about was Hamid’s dashing hats and capes. But today, Karzai reminds me of what Carrie Bradshaw of Sex & the City once called a squirrel:

He’s just a rat in a cuter outfit.

To cut Karzai some slack, the White House has been sending him mixed messages, so it’s no wonder he’s pissed and shooting his mouth off.

First, Obama committed 30,000 more troops to become Taliban cannon fodder. Then, on the night of March 28 with only an hour’s notice, Obama personally dropped in on Karzai for a good 25-minute talking-to.

On April 3, Karzai got everyone’s knickers in a knot by reportedly declaring that if the Afghan people perceive American presence as an invasion, he’d join the Taliban insurgency himself.

Now, even in jest, I can’t imagine Obama ever saying, “If the American people think I ran for president to push a black agenda, I’ll join the KKK.”

That’s crazy talk.

Karzai is also said to harbor delusions that we want to dominate the region, and that he could personally work a deal with the Taliban if only we’d go away.

Has he looked out a window lately? Why would anybody but extremist nut jobs want a piece of Afghanistan?

Karzai accused the West of meddling in the shady election he won last year. (I knew Bush would give us that reputation.) AND he’s been getting chummy with Obama’s other pain in the neck, Iran’s Mahmoud Amadinejahd.

Some people think Karzai has been smoking bad ‘nip and it’s affecting his judgment.

I believe he’s just a garden-variety tin-horn dictator who wants more freedom to be inept and corrupt, but Obama isn’t letting him have it.

But enough of allowing this guy to bite the hands that feed him. Obama needs to rethink our presence in Afghanistan. After 8 years, it high time Karzai started putting his own money where his mouth is.


Move Over Lawrence, it’s Laura of Afghanistan

June 10, 2008

By Adele

Laura Bush must think there’s blockbuster potential in braving the wilds of Afghanistan in nothing but a pantsuit and pearls. Over the weekend, she made her third unannounced visit.

“Oh, no. Not again!” you can almost hear President Hamid Karzai wailing.

To keep al Qaeda and the Taliban off-guard, the crafty White House claimed Laura was some lowlier official. That way, it wasn’t too embarrassing that lots of taxpayer money was wasted protecting her when nobody even considered her worth a bomb or a bullet.

When she went to Bamiyan Province about 100 miles west of Kabul, they put her in a flak jacket and flew her in a nondescript Chinook chopper that dutifully bobbed and weaved over “suspicious” areas while machine-gun-toting soldiers lobbed flares out the doors to deflect nonexistent heat-seeking missiles.

That macho show must have thrilled Mrs. Bush, but it was lost on insurgents who were too busy negating her claims that the country’s making fine progress. They killed 3 British soldiers and 11 policemen, and made a kidnapped journalist turn up dead.

But nothing could wipe that glazed look or pasted-on smile from the First Lady’s face, a familiar expression that appeared in virtually every photo taken of her – with our troops, Afghan women, and children.

Speaking of children, she handed out tote bags in an orphanage to kids who’d probably be glad to trade “stuff” for living parents.

Still incognito, Laura flew out in a cargo plane specially fitted with a 60-foot RV for her comfort.

They never heard of seat cushions?

She and George met in Slovenia for a European Union summit, then they’re heading to Germany, Italy, the Vatican, France, England, and Northern Ireland on one last all-expenses-paid summer spree to visit leaders who are most likely counting the minutes until the Bushes leave the White House.


%d bloggers like this: