Abortion: Only the Tip of the Real Problem

May 3, 2022

By Karen

A draft opinion by Justice Samuel Alito on the Supreme Court’s still-pending decision on Roe v. Wade has leaked and reveals the expected. The conservative majority (Alito, Thomas, Gorsuch, Kavanaugh, Coney Barrett, maybe Roberts) will allow states once again to force women to carry unwanted pregnancies, or risk death trying to end them.

Meanwhile, sadistic state Republicans across the country are passing draconian laws to severely restrict or ban abortion altogether.

The nightmare is here, so, will women stop whining and start demanding an eye for an eye? Or, a dick for a uterus?

(NOTE: I use “dick” instead of the proper term to avoid an avalanche of porn spam.)

While Republican men have wet dreams about torturing expectant mothers and then starving, neglecting, abusing and using their toddlers for target practice, women seem to be repeating Democrats’ mistake by playing nice. They express outrage on cable news and hold marches and peaceful protests.

Women, wake up. We need to scream and do something about the root cause of abortion: men’s dicks.

Dicks exist only for sperm delivery. OK, sperm and urine. Dickless men would have to sit down to pee like ladies. No biggie.

If not for dicks doing their sperm thing, abortion would be unneeded, legal or otherwise.

Every abortion now in question started with a dick attached to a man.

[“What about in vitro fertilization?” you cleverly ask. Stay focused. Women who get in vitro (Latin for “without dick”) are desperate. They don’t get abortions unless something goes terribly wrong. Those tragic terminations should have another name and are excluded from my discussion.]

Sicko Republicans paint women as inherently evil baby-killers whose lives must be destroyed — even if they were rape or incest victims. Whereas, the real evil is men’s unfettered dick freedom. Nobody’s suggesting the first fucking remedy for that. Not even male birth control.

Female legislators need to grow a pair and write counter-legislation.

How about bills mandating stiff penalties for men who impregnate women against their will, even if they’re married? If the child is born, the woman can sue to ensure financial support for herself and the child for 18 years, even if there’s a divorce.

Or, how about enabling a woman to sue for $10,000 any man who hits on her for unwanted sex that could result in pregnancy?

Call this one #MeToo on Steroids, or a Bounty on Indiscriminate Dicks. If Texas can put a bounty on uteruses, why not?

Men who try to skip out on the court’s ruling against them for any reason are reported, arrested and given the option of vasectomy or chemical castration (their choice) so they can’t offend again.

This is basically TNR (trap-neuter-release) used on feral cat colonies to reduce their numbers, only applied to human men. If enough men skirt their financial penalties, they get neutered, the birth rate drops and abortion eventually becomes moot.

Seem harsh? Think about this:

Most men think of their dicks as instruments of pride, pleasure (or power) over women, not baby-makers. To exterminate men with this attitude would admittedly be extreme, but we can certainly curb their dicks.

While this female-friendly legislation gets debated, women could exercise options some currently ignore, if the numbers fleeing Texas for abortions are any indication. For starters, keep your legs together. If you feel frisky, you can do the job quicker and better yourself and, unless your man has no hands, so can he.

In extreme cases, remember Lorena Bobbitt. She became famous in 1993 for cracking under sexual abuse (and a forced abortion) and castrating her husband. The world would be a lot safer for all women if more wives trained their husbands to sleep with one eye open, or risk waking up looking like a Ken doll.

Women need to get real and get loud about dicks. In addition to legal penalties, we need to ban Viagra, Cialis and whatever other dick-inflating pills they’ve got, as well as pumps, implants and any other pervy devices they use.

If women can’t have abortions, then men need to take responsibility for their role in pregnancy and be punished to the fullest extent if it’s unwanted.

And may every dick on the Supreme Court (including Amy the c*nt) who doesn’t like this solution be damned.


From the Notebook

May 6, 2021

By Karen

First, I must report Tony has had his first culinary mishap. I’d just turned off the stove and was pouring a pot of boiling pasta into a colander in the sink while Tony watched. Here’s an old photo of Tony with the same burner/pot…

In the seconds I was at the sink, the tip of Tony’s tail touched the still-hot burner. When I returned to the stove, I pushed his tail away and smelled burning fur. Tony jumped down in utter confusion.

Later upon inspection, I found 1) No burnt skin, so tragedy averted (as the late Yul’s tail amputations taught me), and 2) more tail got singed than I realized.

Tony eventually noticed it himself and started licking. Today the singed part feels almost smooth again. Whew!

While the cats were picking horses, I’ve been taking notes on the news.

With SCOTUS, Smaller is Better: I stand by my compromise of rightsizing SCOTUS by reducing the number justices. The elegant simplicity is that Biden doesn’t have to nominate anyone who will immediately have Fox trashing their reputation. It also eliminates confirmation hearings, so Senate Republicans can’t spew treason on live TV.

Just cut the court back to seven justices with an impartial LIFO layoff, last in, first out. That rids us of the worst two: Amy “I Hate Women” Barrett and Brett “I Love Beer” Kavanaugh.

Republicans Refuse to Govern, Hate America: Moscow Mitch McConnell just announced, “100% of my focus is on stopping this new administration,” just like he vowed to make Obama a one-term president. McConnell also blabbered, “Our colleagues on the other side of the aisle just can’t resist stretching out the pandemic, using it as a rationale for additional spending far beyond what is best for the country.”

Yeah, it was the Democrats dragging their feet the whole year Trump was dancing in the blood of 500M+ COVID victims and trying to get a crazed mob to murder Congress. Sure, Mitch.

Clearly, Republicans’ mission is to keep Americans destitute or dead and the country’s infrastructure in rubble as long as they’re rich. No matter what Biden does, McConnell says it has no Republican support. So, it’s past time to end the filibuster and make every traitorous, useless Republican roadkill under the steamroller of Democratic progress.

Give Vax Deniers the Right to Die: If Biden won’t mandate vaccinations for feckless morons who are the REAL ones “stretching out the pandemic,” let’s shun them like smokers. If they can’t show proof of vaccination, don’t let them in anywhere without a mask, and throw them out if they refuse to keep their distance. We need to isolate these disease-carrying vermin as a herd so may infect and kill off each other and end the pandemic.

Trump Returns to Social Media — Not: Facebook just banned Trump for another six months, but we all know they’ll eventually let him spread lies and stoke violence again, because Facebook is an intellectual landfill where facts and wisdom go to die.

Law enforcement — anywhere — needs to wrap up “investigating” and arrest Trump on any of his myriad felonies. They’ve got video, audio, paper trail and witnesses in most cases. Imprison Trump as a flight risk until his trials. Cutting Trump off from call-in interviews and social media would bring peace of mind to the world.

So Bill Barr Lied — Now What?: A judge finally admitted it. Former Attorney General Bill Barr’s four-page “summary” of the Mueller report was all lies and he never had the slightest intention of prosecuting Trump for anything — EVER.

As always, criminal behavior of Trump and his cronies was exactly what it seemed when we watched them do it, no investigations or hearings necessary. Bill Barr has been exposed as the Trump-loving, DOJ-sabotaging toady he presented himself as. Will he be disbarred? Charged with perjury? Obstruction of justice? Or allowed to shrug it off, as so many of Trump’s criminal accomplices have done so far?

Bringing Trump and his enablers to justice would force Republicans to face consequences, and force them to Plan B. Whatever Plan B is, it can’t possibly be worse than propping up a demented wannabe dictator with lies so they can make the U.S. an autocracy.


Watching Republicans Dig Their Own Graves

September 28, 2020

By Karen

By dismissing Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg’s dying wish to wait until after the election to replace her, Trump, Moscow Mitch, and Losing Lindsey pissed on her casket as it sat on the Supreme Court steps.

And their pick, Amy Coney Barrett, had no problem stepping over Justice Ginsburg’s body before was even in the ground.

I only caught a bit of Barrett’s acceptance speech. So young, so cute, all those children, such family values.

But she clerked for Antonin Scalia, has only three years of judicial experience, and Trump likes her. That’s enough for me to conclude she’s an unqualified, reactionary dip-shit (female Kavanaugh, if you will) who would set the country back 150 years.

Her confirmation seems sure, and Trump will gloat over “owning” one-third of SCOTUS. I hope every dickless Republican who enables this rots in hell for eternity.

Now that I got that off my chest, let’s turn to James Comey. Last night he got another 15 minutes of fame being played by Jeff Daniels in the Showtime two-part series, The Comey Rule. Part 2 is tonight…

Last night was Comey agonizing over whether to go public about the investigations into Hillary’s emails — there were two, and neither produced a shred of evidence that her private server ever had negative repercussions on national security — to this day.

Meanwhile, Comey learned Trump’s cronies had gazillion contacts with Russians and opened an investigation into that before the election — but kept it secret.

Jeff Daniels has been making the interview rounds and saying Comey was “between a rock and a hard place” with Hillary. True. But he could have leveled the playing field A LOT by alerting voters to Trump’s Russian ties.

Comey, by treating Trump the mobster like he was a fellow Boy Scout and they both lived by an ironclad code of honor (as did Robert Mueller), Comey fucked the country, but good.

In turn, Comey got himself fucked by being fired on TV. Handing Trump the White House wasn’t enough to fill Trump’s bottomless pit of need.

And NOW The New York Times finally got its mitts on Trump’s tax returns. It’s just as you’d expect.

  • Trump claims many, many, many bogus expenses.
  • Trump’s businesses are mostly in the red.
  • Trump has paid few taxes or none at all for decades.
  • While in the White House, he’s made millions from foreign governments and others patronizing his businesses to get favors from the U.S. government.
  • He earns millions by forcing taxpayers to pay (at inflated rates) for his hundreds of visits to his own properties.
  • He’s only rich on paper; he lives like a leech.
  • He’s got huge debts coming due, and he can only hold off creditors by continuing to grift from the White House; otherwise, he’s toast.

Tomorrow, Trump debates Joe Biden. On Twitter, Trump’s been demanding Biden take a drug test, which can only mean Trump is pumped to the gills. We just don’t know whether he’ll snort Adderall and bounce off the walls, or if his doctors will sedate him into a semi-coma. We’ve been seeing more of that lately.

Either way, the bar is quite low for Biden. All he has to do is let Trump babble nonsense, respond in complete sentences, and laugh off Trump’s infantile taunts and he’ll look more presidential.

With each passing day that Republicans cling to a sinking Trump, stealing every advantage they can, while they can, they’re creating for themselves an even greater backlash at the polls as public disgust reaches a crescendo.

BONUS: The Washington Post named this monologue by comedian John Mulaney, “There’s a Horse in the Hospital,” one of the 10 best Trump take-downs…


Chapter 103: COVID Chronicles

July 9, 2020

By Karen

Day 120

Waxing Poetic & Pissed at SCOTUS

Once upon a time, I was an English major. But one of my least favorite things about it was analyzing poetry. I remember slamming into the wall on this little gem by e e cummings in both high school and college. Perhaps you’ve seen it…

The Red Wheelbarrow

so much depends
upon

a red wheel
barrow

glazed with rain
water

beside the white
chickens

PoetryFoundation.com describes the high school experience perfectly. I’d want to strangle every teacher who taught this one and asked, “But WHAT depends so much on the red wheelbarrow?”

NOTHING! Can’t you recognize gibberish, you fool? The guy doesn’t even know how to capitalize or punctuate!

Now another pesky poem from my past that used to make my eyes roll back in my head, by William Butler Yeats, keeps popping up in the media.  You’ll understand why if you read it with Trump in mind. It makes terrifying sense…

The Second Coming

Turning and turning in the widening gyre
The falcon cannot hear the falconer;
Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold;
Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world,
The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere
The ceremony of innocence is drowned;
The best lack all conviction, while the worst
Are full of passionate intensity.

Surely some revelation is at hand;
Surely the Second Coming is at hand.
The Second Coming! Hardly are those words out
When a vast image out of Spiritus Mundi
Troubles my sight: somewhere in sands of the desert
A shape with lion body and the head of a man,
A gaze blank and pitiless as the sun,
Is moving its slow thighs, while all about it
Reel shadows of the indignant desert birds.
The darkness drops again; but now I know
That twenty centuries of stony sleep
Were vexed to nightmare by a rocking cradle,
And what rough beast, its hour come round at last,
Slouches towards Bethlehem to be born?

Our “Second Coming” would be a Trump second term, should he last that long. But the “rough beast” actually arrived in 2017 and has been tearing the center to ribbons, aided by “the worst, full of passionate intensity.”

Today the Supreme Court finally ruled that Trump isn’t above the law in New York, and a grand jury can have his financial records. But then SCOTUS had to kick Congress in the balls by sending their similar request back to the lower courts, in a prime example of what happens when “the (supposed) best lack all conviction.”

In bringing about a quicker end to the vile scourge of Trump, Congress has failed us and now the Supreme Court has failed us. Meanwhile, Trump exploits a lethal virus — and the gullible nitwits willing to spread it for him — to kill off as many of us as he can.

Our only hope left until November, when we can slay this beast ourselves at the polls, is for COVID-19 — aided by Trump’s own myriad health issues — to find him and slay him first.


Don’t Let the Babble Bury Kavanaugh’s Many Flaws

October 1, 2018

By Karen

I watched all of Dr. Christine Blasey Ford’s and Brett Kavanaugh’s testimony before the Senate Judicial Committee last week. Republicans seem thrilled to limit their vetting to a possibly unprovable he-said-she-said scenario of attempted rape.

Matt Damon dropped by SNL for a parody of the Kavanaugh hearing. It’s hilarious but terrifying because it’s only a mild exaggeration of what happened that day.

Brett Kavanaugh has displayed so much more about his unfitness for the Supreme Court that his underage drinking and rape aspirations in high school are the least of it. While writing this, I discovered another Yale classmate, Chad Ludington, has just joined the growing list speaking out about Kavanaugh because they know firsthand that he’s lying about his behavior. Here are some other red flags we must not forget…

Sense of Entitlement – Kavanaugh talks about the Supreme Court job as if it’s owed to him. (Tough shit, Merrick Garland.) Trump’s so desperate for a justice who believes the president is above the law, you have to wonder how much smoke he’s been blowing up Kavanaugh’s ass.

Belligerence – Demanding Senator Amy Klobuchar tell him her drinking habits was so obnoxious, someone must have persuaded him during a break to apologize, even though he was only using Trump’s deflection technique. Kavanaugh also behaved like a peevish brat in refusing to answer Senator Dick Durbin’s question about whether he’d want an FBI investigation to clear his name. I could write all day about Kavanaugh’s displays of arrogance and disrespect to the Democratic side of the committee.

Partisanship – He actually managed to drag the Clintons into his opening statement, as if they have anything to do with anything. Kavanaugh’s impatient, almost sneering contempt for Democratic questioning conveyed that he will be anything but impartial if he manages to get through this. He all but said to them, “Revenge is a dish best served cold.”

Alcoholism? – From his flushed face and constant water-gulping, it appeared Kavanaugh may have been drinking earlier that day. And what other SCOTUS nominee has spent so much time talking about beer? Heavy drinking seemed to be his part-time job for many years, so how do we know he’s doing doing it now?

Lying – Following another Trump example, he lied about easily verified things, such as the meaning of boofing and a Devil’s Triangle, and that he could drink legally in high school (he was only 17). Other examples are too numerous to list here.

Gambling? – Since the latest hearing was about attempted rape, there was no mention of the $200,000 credit card debt Kavanaugh racked up mainly on baseball tickets but managed to quickly pay off before his federal judgeship although he didn’t have that much money in the bank. Was he betting on games?

Financially Compromised?Kavanaugh’s funding sources are almost as murky as Trump’s. His ($220,600) and his wife’s ($66,000) salaries seem a tight fit for their lifestyle. They bought a $1.2 million house Kavanaugh described as a “fixer-upper” that’s expensive to maintain. They joined a country club with a $92,000 entry fee and $9,000 annual dues. They have two daughters attending a $10,580-a-year-per-child private school. He seems to be getting extra cash somewhere, but it’s not revealed in his financial disclosures.

Contempt for Women – Four women have shared stories of Kavanaugh being an aggressor or of doing nothing while his friends gang-raped girls. He’s anti-abortion and considered most likely to overturn Roe v. Wade. He seems to see himself as a privileged white master of the universe, which doesn’t bode well for the rest of us.

In addition to whatever the FBI finds, I think we’ve seen and heard enough about Brett Kavanaugh to know he’s the last person this country needs on the Supreme Court. May the FBI interview enough people this week and corroborate descriptions of this despicable man to not only keep him off SCOTUS, but to kick him off the bench altogether.


Should Anita Hill Apologize?

October 20, 2010

By Adele

Can pigs fly?

Like everybody else, I’m wondering what — other than early-onset dementia — could have possessed Justice Clarence Thomas’ wife, Virginia, to suddenly ring up Anita Hill’s office and leave this message…

“Good morning, Anita Hill, it’s Ginny Thomas. I just wanted to reach across the airwaves and the years and ask you to consider something. I would love you to consider an apology sometime and some full explanation of why you did what you did with my husband. So give it some thought and certainly pray about this and come to understand why you did what you did. Okay have a good day.”

Virginia Thomas later told the press that her motive was to “extend an olive branch.”

Sounded more like a switch to me. Did she really expect Anita Hill to come out of the blue 19 years later and turn her life as a Brandeis University professor upside down by saying she made it all up? That Clarence Thomas was really a swell boss? That she got herself dragged through the mud for nothing?

Has anyone seen Clarence moping around about it, since his alleged misogyny got rewarded with a seat on the Supreme Court?

If anyone should be apologizing here, it should be the Thomases to Anita Hill.

Virginia Thomas founded Liberty Central Inc., a nonprofit lobbying group affiliated to the Tea Party, whose agenda is to wreak havoc with Obama. She was one of the featured speakers at the recent Tea Party shindig held right here in Richmond.

Unfortunately, it’s not illegal for Clarence Thomas to be married to a neocon nut job who uses prayer as a weapon and doesn’t know how to pick her battles. It’s just very disturbing to know this guy has Lady MacBeth trying to pull strings behind him while he’s sitting on the bench.


Repubs Look Foolish Fighting Kagan Nomination

May 11, 2010

By Adele

Elena Kagan has so many points in her favor to join the Supreme Court, it’s no wonder Republicans are foaming at the mouth to disqualify her.

Congress confirmed her just a year ago to become Solicitor General, and they didn’t find any bones buried in her backyard then.

It’s probably galling to them that, besides being female instead of an old white guy, Kagan clearly lacks tunnel vision and a narrow mind. She’s willing to listen to different points of view. She doesn’t seem arrogant, despite accomplishments that include being the first female dean of Harvard Law School.

Kagan has never been a judge, which will make her the 41st justice who wasn’t. With typical revisionist flair, the Repubs are protesting like it’s the first time that’s ever happened. How dare Obama?

Do they think Kagan has argued cases before SCOTUS not knowing how to research and interpret the law? Are they worried she doesn’t understand how trials work? Do they seriously think she’ll ever be alone on the bench, left to her own devices?

Every time they open their mouths to vilify Kagan, Republicans just reveal ignorance and irrational thinking.

They worry she won’t interpret the Constitution as the Founding Fathers intended, parading that non-argument like evangelicals who claim their every harebrained notion is in the Bible.

The Founding Fathers never came close to envisioning today’s world, with all its technological complexity, amorality, and senseless brutality.

Trying to maintain laws as if we’re still living in the 1700s is just nuts. Some laws need reinterpreting to get in step with the times.

After loony-toon rulings like it’s OK for Big Business to buy elections and that crush videos make wholesome entertainment, SCOTUS obviously needs a stiff dose of logic and decency. Elena Kagan is just the one to give it to them.


Let Supreme Court Star in Crush Videos

May 5, 2010

By Yul

In a breathtaking departure from sanity, the Supreme Court decided 8-1 in U.S. v. Stevens that cold-blooded, premeditated murder is a freedom-of-speech issue and struck down the “Crush Act.” Depictions of helpless creatures being brutally tortured and killed is once again a legitimate form of expression.

The court has reinstated perverted carnage as a dandy form of entertainment because they thought the wording of the Crush Act was so broad, it might impinge on the rights of hunters to film legal animal slaughter.

Now Dick Cheney need never fear he’ll be denied a photo op while mowing down defenseless birds or friends of his. The court has made it once again open season on innocent puppies, kittens, and other small animals who will meet horrible ends to satisfy sickos’ sexual fantasies.

It’s too bad all the justices except Samuel Alito, the lone vote of compassion, won’t ever enjoy the thrill of being under a dominatrix’s stiletto as she slowly grinds it through their livers while talking dirty and laughing at their agonized screams.

Fortunately, we animals have other humans watching our backs. California Congressman Elton Gallegly has introduced H.R. 5092 to make the Crush Act’s language more specific and overcome even the most blood-thirsty justices’ objections.

The ASPCA is also on the case. Cats Working urges you to visit their Advocacy Center to find out if your representative is a co-sponsor of the bill and, if not, urge him or her to become one so it can be passed quickly.

The Supreme Court is WRONG. Crush videos must NEVER be allowed to regain a foothold.


Animal Cruelty: Entertainment to Supreme Court?

October 7, 2009

By Cole

Under a 1999 federal law banning graphic animal cruelty videos, a Virginian named Robert Stevens got 3 years in jail for selling films of  pit bull fights. A federal appeals court overturned his conviction, and now the Supreme Court will decide if people’s freedom of speech is violated if they can’t film animals being tortured and killed.

As if anybody needs to be making Stevens’ bloody garbage or “crush videos,” so perverts can watch women stomp mice and kittens to death with their bare feet or in high-heeled shoes.

Dissecting the law, which the Obama administration and 26 states support, the justices played verbal games, implying it could ban educational films about hunting or nature.

The justices miss the point. To make these films, film-makers need “actors” — animals who can’t protest being thrust into dangerous or deadly situations. They can only use their claws and teeth to futilely fight for their lives while cameras roll.

Because animals can’t “speak,” we don’t deserve the right to live?

If we were talking about filming naked women in stilettos slicing and dicing a few babies or Supreme Court justices for fun, I think the debate would have been over quickly.

Justice Antonin Scalia said, “It’s not up to the government to decide what are people’s worst instincts.

Scalia, you soulless douche bag, by even considering throwing out this protection for animals, the Supreme Court displays its own worst instincts.

Going back to Robert Stevens, his argument is that his pit bull flicks were fine because they weren’t “obscene, inflammatory, or untruthful.”

Wrong, Stevens. They were obscene. And you are obscene, promoting the “sport” of dogs tearing each other apart. You should have gotten life in jail — with a hungry pit bull as your cellmate.


Ideal Solution for Obama’s Hillary Problem

June 5, 2008

By Adele

Watching her drag the carcass of her campaign around all week, I’m beginning to wonder if Hillary Clinton is completely unhinged. She seems to think staying in a fog of denial will somehow make Barack Obama roll over and play dead.

But we know that if Obama offers Hillary the No. 2 spot on his ticket, he’ll have to sleep with the light on the whole time he’s in the White House. Putting her a heartbeat away from the presidency would just be tempting fate for something “unfortunate” to happen to him, given the Clintons’ talent for making people disappear.

Barack’s best hope of living to serve two terms is to promise Hillary a seat on the Supreme Court if he wins.

I’m sure Hillary would be thrilled to be deemed Supreme, forever able to hide her thick ankles under judges’ robes. Ruth Bader Ginsberg could retire with a clear conscience, giving up her seat to a fellow liberal and a woman, and the current balance of power would remain stable to keep the Republicans quiet.

On the court, Hillary could indulge her penchant for mud-wrestling, regularly getting down and dirty with world-class chauvinists like Clarence Thomas and Antonin Scalia. Now and then, she might even manage to keep them from setting the country back a hundred years.

With Hillary permanently sidelined from campaigning, the Democratic party wouldn’t have to worry about Clintons stirring up any more trouble – unless Chelsea someday enters politics. But that wouldn’t be for years because Chelsea has to get comfortable talking to the media first.


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