Chapter 107: COVID Chronicles

July 13, 2020

By Karen

Day 124

Max, My Guinea Pig & Trump v. John Adams

He keeps topping himself, but in Trump’s most ridiculous assertion to date, he predicts that all media (social, print and TV) will wither and die under Joe Biden because Biden would get “low ratings.”

After three+ years of whining and screaming about wanting “the enemy of the people,” The New York Times, The Washington Post and CNN, out of business, Trump in his dementia has the nerve to claim credit for their markets. Like we all want All-Trump-24/7. The narcissism and madness have reached another galaxy.

Trump played golf this past weekend and had a big white van parked near the course to block photographers’ view. But someone managed to capture this priceless little clip of Lard-Ass’s steadily advancing meltdown. Watch his left leg as he walks away (hope this works, I just figured out how to embed tweets)…

There’s NO WAY to rationalize that leg splay as anything but involuntary lack of muscle control (or a twisted diaper). Now, if only COVID would catch up with him. Even #MoscowMitch McConnell is getting cold feet about breathing COVID fumes in Jacksonville during the GOP convention, with Florida smashing through all records for new daily COVID cases, surpassing 15,000 on July 12.

NOW, TO THE CAT BEAT: Yesterday I washed the purple blankie that has been Max and Roc’s battleground at the end of the couch. To figure out what Max is really fixated on — the couch or the blankie — I switched it with the pink blankie from the rocker. Max has never had a problem with it. In fact, it was his favorite spot last Christmas…

My hypothesis: Max would either prove that what covers the couch is irrelevant and it’s a turf war, or he’d go to the rocker because his real love is the purple blankie.

So, I invited Max to sit beside me on the couch. When he noticed that his end looked different, he not only refused to touch the pink blanket, but seemed a bit agitated. After I swapped things back, Max went right over to his spot and plopped down.

Bottom line: It’s the couch AND the purple blankie.

ANOTHER SCIENTIFIC BREAKTHROUGH: I’ve discovered how not to have Trump be my last thought at night (leading to nightmares), or my first shriek of despair in the morning.

While I was watching the musical 1776 last week, I had an urge to learn everything about John Adams. We were born roughly 42 miles apart in Massachusetts, so he’s my people. I ordered a used but pristine copy of David McCullough’s mammoth Pulitzer Prize-winning biography, John Adams, for $7, including shipping.

Last night I started reading it before bed, and I’m already hooked. Adams was only about 5’7” or 8” and many found him mouthy and obnoxious. He was considered a conservative, but had many liberal positions like anti-slavery. As a person, he was virtually Trump’s opposite. For example, only one wife, Abigail, and their voluminous correspondence is hard evidence that they had a strong, loving 54-year marriage.

Anyway, I went to sleep trying to picture the Adams farm in Braintree, and woke up still thinking about Adams.

Just as in 2001, after I heard George W. Bush refer to the 9/11 terrorists “the folks who did this” and immediately drove to Charlottesville to visit Monticello and be near  Thomas Jefferson, I think Adams will take the edge off Trump through the election.

Well, after I hit “Pause” tomorrow to read Mary Trump’s damning book about Uncle Donald, Too Much and Never Enough.

 


Michelle to Ann: Checkmate

September 5, 2012

By Adele

The Republicans’ Obama Bash was so long on lies and short on specifics except, “We’ll undo everything Obama did,” it was encouraging to see the Democrats come back swinging.

Massachusetts’ current governor, Deval Patrick, did a good job of explaining why Romney doesn’t brag about when he had that job.

But the real showdown was between Michelle Obama and Ann Romney.

Ann spoke at length about how desperate and downtrodden everybody is — especially women. Not that she would know. But she unwittingly revealed more than she intended in talking about life with Mitt…

“All at once I’m 22 years old, with a baby and a husband who’s going to business school and law school at the same time, and I can tell you, probably like every other girl who finds herself in a new life far from family and friends, with a new baby and a new husband, that it dawned on me that I had absolutely no idea what I was getting into.”

And addressing the myth of her “storybook” marriage…

“Well, in the storybooks I read, there were never long, long, rainy winter afternoons in a house with five boys screaming at once.”

Now let’s cut to Michelle, who spoke of her daughters only in loving terms, never alluded to feeling overwhelmed, isolated, or possibly even abandoned in her marriage. She clearly saw herself and Barack as partners every step of the way.

Talking about the pre-White House years…

“And the truth is, I loved the life we had built for our girls…I deeply loved the man I had built that life with…”

And about him during the White House Years…

“Well, today, after so many struggles and triumphs and moments that have tested my husband in ways I never could have imagined, I have seen firsthand that being president doesn’t change who you are — it reveals who you are.”

Ann Romney personified the meek, obedient, perpetually-pregnant stay-at-home woman Republicans would like all females to become.

Michelle Obama came across as a confident career woman whose job today is to complement her husband and serve as a role model to her daughters that there’s more to life than going forth and multiplying. (The Romneys have 18 grandchildren and counting.)

The Obamas and Romneys are both wealthy families, but  unlike the Romneys, neither of the Obamas came from money. Barack made much of his fortune from his books. And the Obamas don’t own multiple houses, a fleet of cars, and Olympic-class horses. They openly pay their fair share of taxes and don’t bank in the Caymans.

As Michelle said…

“Barack knows the American Dream because he’s lived it…and he wants everyone in this country to have that same opportunity, no matter who we are, or where we’re from, or what we look like, or who we love.

And he believes that when you’ve worked hard, and done well, and walked through that doorway of opportunity…you do not slam it shut behind you…you reach back, and you give other folks the same chances that helped you succeed.”

If Mitt Romney ever were to reach the Oval Office, you can be sure he’d slam the door shut behind him as a “Mission Accomplished” and forget all about who put him there.


GOP Convention: A Confederacy of Dunces

August 30, 2012

By Cole

The glassy-eyed, brain-dead fanatics on the floor of the Republican convention fascinate me. To see them gobble every crumb of verbal crap dispensed from the podium is like watching lemmings wolf down a last meal before they go off a cliff.

They have no idea that every one of them who isn’t a white male millionaire is in for a royal screwing if they get their wish and Romney wins.

In a cynical attempt to seem inclusive that fooled nobody, the GOP assigned U.S. possessions like Puerto Rico, the Virgin Islands, and American Samoa prime seats because their delegations look racially diverse — even though THEIR VOTES DON’T COUNT.

Ann Romney got to address the 32 percent of voters who, in a CBS News poll, claim they don’t know Mitt enough to form an opinion. She delivered a brilliant speech that made her fellow Stepford Wives mist over, and we learned that Mitt was a cutie in high school, but virtually nothing of substance beyond that.

To listen to Ann’s litany of lovingly empty claims…

  • Mitt loves his country (but not enough to stop dodging taxes)
  • Mitt won’t let you down (unless he does — he’s prone to change his mind a lot)
  • Mitt will get the job done (if he doesn’t eliminate or outsource it)

…was to stuff cotton candy in your ears.

New Jersey Governor Chris Christie’s keynote address showcased him to the country as a pompous gasbag with life-threatening eating issues who probably won’t survive to run for president in 2020 if Romney wins and serves 2 terms.

They’re saying Condoleezza Rice’s rousing speech — and the only one to acknowledge the importance of education — will win her a seat in Romney’s cabinet. Let’s hope it’s his china cabinet back at Lake Winnipesaukee.

ALL of them have erased the George W. Bush years off the slate. They’re in total denial that the ruinous ideology Bush lived by, and they still embrace, started this country’s flush down the toilet.

And then they have the bloody nerve to accuse Obama of failing to stop it when all they want to do is KEEP FLUSHING.

But by far, the whopper topper was Paul Ryan’s Obama-bashing marathon. It was so jam-packed with deceit and deception, Karen could barely stop screaming at the TV. I won’t rehash it because a Fox News writer named Sally Kohn did it so well.

You know your lies have jumped the shark when even Faux News is crying foul.

From now until election day, the Republican strategy is to continue repeating the same thoroughly discredited lies (such as, Obama has eliminated the work requirement from welfare) and hope enough stupid, unquestioning voters believe them.

Tonight Romney’s got to pull off the grand deception of seeming like a credible, affable, empathetic, and competent man with a plan.

After his department-store-dummy reaction while Chris Christie was heaping praise on him like whipped cream on a banana split, I don’t think Romney’s got a prayer — or a clue.


GOP, Face It: You’re Stuck with Romney

April 5, 2012

By Cole

As if Republicans can’t give us enough examples of their refusal to face reality, now we’ve got Rick Santorum. This man has a loser stench that he alone seems unable to smell, and he still will not admit that Mitt Romney sewed up the nomination this week with a clean 3-primary sweep.

Voters have finally noticed the tide, and not even Santorum at his most sanctimonious has the power to turn it.

No, he’d rather subject himself to the humiliation of the upcoming Pennsylvania primary. This is the state that most recently flung him out of the Senate with an 18-point loss.

And now he thinks those same voters would MUCH rather see him in the White House? And this guy’s kids are home-schooled — to be the next generation of village idiots, one must assume.

Even nutty Newt Gingrich has had the good grace to fold up his campaign and fade away.

It’s sad that the best person the GOP could find to pit against Obama is a creepy guy who probably sleeps in a bed with a lid on it. But it’s time for them to face it.

I won’t go so far as to say yet that they’re probably handing Obama a second term, but I think we can see where this is heading.

Conservative craziness seems to finally be hitting the wall.

The most constructive thing Republicans could do until they hold their pep rally to make Romney’s nomination official would be to stop spewing their mostly-fact-free vitriol, stop blowing money on moot campaigning, and give everyone’s ears a break.

Then in the fall, we can shake Romney’s Etch-a-Sketch to forget what a total phony he is, and let the real campaign begin.


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