Someone, Please, Explain “Debate” to Fox

August 7, 2015

By Adele

UVA’s political wonk Larry Sabato theorized to Rachel Maddow, and I paraphrase, that the Republican National Committee wants fewer than 17 candidates, but doesn’t have the cojones to dissuade anybody, so it’s letting Fox’s asinine debates do the job.

To get the “right” top 10 candidates, a number Fox pulled out of its ass, Fox probably cherry-picked the polls it used to get Chris Christie and John Kasich included.

I watched the 7 rejects in the 5 p.m. session (including Ricks Perry and Santorum), and no way was it a “debate.” The moderators simply lobbed cues to each candidate to regurgitate stump speech chunks. They didn’t face off at all.

Carly Fiorina gave the only noteworthy performance. Or, as mod Megyn Kelly later said, Carly “unleashed a can.”

You can’t not compare Carly to Sarah Palin’s witless garblings, and Carly was a veritable Demosthenes. Had she not run Hewlett Packard so deeply into a ditch that they gave her $40 million to get permanently lost, you might think she had a shot.

Lindsey Graham provided comic relief with his Donald Trump imitation, trying to evoke terror by claiming ISIS is invading the U.S. any minute now.

You had to feel sorry for them all.

The main event began at 8:50, as if Fox has never scheduled TV programming before. The moderators explained, “Since viewers think it starts at 9, we’ll wait,” and then wasted 10 minutes on inane banter.

Speaking of moderators, they were that nonentity Chris Wallace, over-processed Megyn Kelly, and Eddie Munster.

They marched the candidates on stage into a lineup and then ordered them to applaud the audience. In confusion, a few half-heartedly did.

Once behind the podiums, it was “Face the Mods” again. Gratuitous attempts at actual debate consisted of throwing one candidate’s cracks about another candidate back in the wisecracking candidate’s face and asking if he still believed them to be true.

Rand Paul proved feisty, bless his curls, and got into one good little tangle with Chris Christie that almost got ugly.

Donald Trump was dickish as always, but basically well-behaved. I don’t think he called anybody weak or stupid to their face. However, Megyn, as sternly as a vacuous but bitchy blonde can, reminded him that he’s called women “fat pigs” and “dogs” before.

Like Palin, I guess Megyn prefers her men to show their misogyny through legislation, not name-calling.

They tried to get Trump on the ropes for being friends with the Clintons and formerly having some liberal positions. He blew them off, claiming his ideas have “evolved, just like Reagan’s.”

And we saw lots of the usual mean Fox-baiting to elicit hatred of immigrants, gays, and the Fox-generated delusion that U.S. Christians are being persecuted.

But the candidates largely stuck to the high road. Jeb Bush was so reasonable, he came off as the only Bush who probably ever should have run for office.

John Kasich shined as a kind and moderate voice of reason.

Ben Carson got in some zingers and complained about not being given enough time, to which Megyn purred that she fully intended to personally give him more time, so much more time.

And then didn’t.

I learned Ted Cruz is Canadian. So, Republicans are good with Cruz for president even though he was born in another country to a U.S. citizen. But Obama, who was born in a U.S. state (Hawaii) also to a U.S. citizen, is NOT an American.

How do they keep all that crazy straight? Oh, right. They don’t even try.

Will this Fox farce be enough to sink some candidates? Only time will tell.


What Makes a Comeback Next? Polio?

February 3, 2015

By Adele

Parents who buy in to the nonscience that getting their children vaccinated will turn the little darlings into idiots should be much more concerned about the effects of heredity on brain development.

The last thing they needed was New Jersey governor Chris Christie adding his two cents by saying that, although he had all his kids vaccinated, “parents need to have some measure of choice.”

Granted, parents should be able to choose whether to let the kids have a puppy. Or at what age they’re mature and responsible enough to use the stove, stay home alone, or start dating.

But parents deserve NO “measure of choice” when it comes to letting their kids become walking public health hazards.

Measles, which can be deadly, was virtually extinct in the United States until the “anti-vaccers,” as they’re called, spurred on by “medical experts” like Michele Bachmann and Rand Paul, chose to ignore scientific fact and go exposed.

Pet owners, BY LAW, must vaccinate dogs and cats against rabies. Yet any idiot human today can pop out a child and knowingly let it become a carrier or victim of any number of serious, even fatal, illnesses, including chickenpox, mumps, whooping cough, hepatitis, bacterial meningitis, diphtheria, and polio, to name a few.

It makes absolutely no sense.

President Obama has said all parents should get their kids vaccinated. OK, then he should work with Congress to make vaccinating children the national law.

Leave it to parents to decide whether or not to make their kids wear tags showing they’ve had their shots, just like pet owners do.

This is a nonpartisan matter of homeland security — and the threat is coming from the inside. To safeguard public health, we need to mandate common sense to those who lack it. Who needs foreign terrorists when we can decimate ourselves with our own germs and viruses?

 


Time to End the Schmooze of the Union

January 29, 2014

By Cole

Last night, Obama delivered his latest laundry list of the same old problems that need fixing yet never get fixed — education, jobs, war, poverty, immigration, equal rights.

Why do we perpetuate this preposterous gathering of pompous phonies? At the very least, coverage should begin after the nauseating glad-handing and air-kissing, as all those well-dressed crooks pretend they haven’t seen each other in years.

As usual, Eric Cantor entered right behind Obama, like Woody Allen’s Zelig. When future historians study all the major events of our time, they’ll see Cantor, with his perpetually curled lip, hovering behind the real center of attention. Always the bridesmaid, never the bride.

They should also ban the practice of clapping every 5 freaking words. It’s stomach-turning to watch them applaud, oblivious to their own shameful failure to DO whatever they’re clapping about and move the country forward.

If I had a nickel for every time a politician has talked about ending incentives for businesses to outsource and lowering their taxes, and then doing nothing, I could buy Purina — the company.

As always, Obama’s speech was another spin on “Yes we can,” when we all know by now that no, he can’t.

Republicans were the most interesting part, particularly John “You Can Never Be Too Orange” Boehner. He sat behind Obama, looking painfully constipated, withholding his applause when Obama mentioned extending unemployment benefits.

Screw you, lazy bums.

When Obama brought up “equal pay and opportunity for women,” Biden jumped to his feet for a standing O, while Boehner stayed seated.

Screw you, too, ladies.

When Obama said, “No one who works full-time should ever raise a family in poverty.” Boehner gave a few limp claps. Why should he agree? Boehner’s doing great in DC and has plenty of time for golf.

When Obama said that the ACA makes pre-existing conditions irrelevant and ends women being overcharged, Boehner and many Republicans kept their hands in their pants laps. So Obama told them to come up with something better and stop wasting time on 40 repeal attempts.

Obama sprinkled his speech with stories of “little people” he had planted in the audience, and saved the “best” for last, about a disfigured man sitting in the balcony next to Michelle. No doubt the man’s struggle has been heroic, but hearing about it from Obama made it sound contrived.

I want to support a fellow black cat, but Obama’s soaring rhetoric feels empty now. He got in to the White House on the promise of change, but the resentment and racism has been so ferocious that his opponents would rather see the country die than agree with him on anything.

Obama said he’s going to go it alone and do what he can with executive orders if Congress won’t cooperate. That had Rand Paul on CBS This Morning today whining about Obama’s lack of “conciliatory tone” and the loss of “checks and balances.”

The CBS team did a good job tag-teaming him on his baloney. In defending his recent dredging up of Clinton-Lewinsky, he said, “People don’t like hypocrisy.”

Gee, Rand, ya think?


Rand Paul Can’t Tell a Predator from a Paramour

January 27, 2014

By Adele

That pinging sound you hear is Rand Paul’s loose screws hitting the floor. Yesterday on NBC’s Meet the Press, Paul told David Gregory he thinks that Republicans’ chronic misogyny is being overstated because Bill Clinton had a “predatory” affair with Monica Lewinsky back in 1995-97 when she was only 20.

Maybe it was an honest mistake that Paul tried to paint Monica as barely past jail bait, when she was actually 22. But we know that’s what Republicans do with easily provable facts — ignore them.

Paul went on to say that although it wasn’t Hillary’s fault, Bill’s affair should be OK to use against her if she runs for president in 2016.

In Paul’s telling, the Clinton-Lewinsky encounter was a one-off where Bill pounced on her like a total perv in — gasp! — “his office”!! Paul repeats the location several times. Watch him spout this nonsense with your own eyes.

By Monica’s account, it was an ongoing, consensual relationship. Oops, there’s another pesky fact to ignore.

If Bill Clinton had a problem with women, it was that he liked them TOO MUCH, and he was too eager to get hands-on with it. Clinton’s administration didn’t make a hobby of cooking up ways to disenfranchise women.

Bill may have liked to see women strip off their clothes, but he wasn’t into stripping them of their rights.

On the other hand, too many male Republican politicians like to sit in their offices and dream about all the pregnant women seeking abortions they’d like to see first being penetrated during medically needless transvaginal ultrasound procedures.

Or being raped and forced to bear their attacker’s baby if they get pregnant. Or spending their reproductive years popping out a baby every 9 months because they have no access to birth control.

Who sounds pervier now?

If you’ve been reading Cats Working, you may remember I was for Hillary Clinton before I was against her, and I defected because of her response to Bill’s infidelity.

But Rand Paul has catapulted me back onto Hillary’s bandwagon, if only because she’d never go on national TV and pull fake history out of her ass to make nonsensical points to justify indefensible positions.

If Hillary does decide to run, one can only hope Rand Paul is her opponent. It would be such a joy to watch her eviscerate him in a debate — which she undoubtedly could.

Only a walking brain-dead woman (I’m looking at you, Sarah Palin and Ann Coulter) could listen to male Republican trash talk about women and believe they don’t see women as a threat, and are actively scheming to send women back to the Dark Ages at the first opportunity.

 


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