Some Days, I Just Can’t…

March 24, 2022

By Karen

Does anyone else feel like they can’t handle one more scandal, disaster or war?

First, we had to endure four years of Trump’s firehose of lies and gaslighting — now five years+ and counting because the DOJ must secretly worship Trump at a shrine they’ve erected in the basement.

Bad as that was, it was overlapped by two years of coronavirus pandemic, which virtually wiped my memory of my existence during 2020 and 2021.

Those two slow-rolling nightmares made my hair thin and my skin break out in a full-body rash I’m still dealing with. (I took up meditation and the skin is much better, but scalp psoriasis persists, thanks for asking.)

Photo: New York Post

Today, you turn on the TV and it’s wall-to-wall coverage of Putin’s unjustified, illegal Ukraine invasion. I can watch only about 10 minutes of CNN before I have to turn off. That’s because I freak out knowing the world is just WATCHING — helpless to stop it — while Putin tries to obliterate a country and murder its entire population.

I abandoned MSNBC completely after Rachel Maddow swanned off to make the movie nobody’s waiting for about a forgotten asshole, Spiro Agnew, just when we need her to keep connecting dots and nailing Republican traitors until they’re brought to justice or voted out (or retire or die).

If I hear one more talking head say Putin “may have” committed war crimes, my own head will explode. We have laws defining war crimes. How many demolished civilian homes and public buildings, and bodies being dumped into mass graves, do we need to see before the gutless media admits and unequivocally states…

PUTIN IS A WAR CRIMINAL WHO MUST BE PUNISHED

Yesterday I heard Secretary of State Antony Blinken say the U.S. has determined that Russian forces “have” committed war crimes and they will be held accountable.

So, we round up and prosecute all the small-potato soldiers? Crush the little guys perpetrating death and destruction on the orders of a homicidal megalomaniac?

Why does this feel familiar? Oh, right. Merrick Garland’s massive “crackdown” on MAGA 1/6 rioters who stormed, vandalized and shit all over the U.S. Capitol.

Our leaders are essentially saying we must NEVER go after power-hungry madmen who launch heinous assaults against humanity to stroke their own egos and make their dicks feel bigger. It might upset them.

I feel like I expend all my energy trying to maintain my sanity while the people who are supposed to uphold justice twiddle. I’ve got no capacity left to cope with earthquakes, floods, mudslides, tornadoes and new COVID outbreaks.

I’ve deliberately kept SCOTUS developments off my radar since Biden confirmed his pick would be a black woman. I knew he’d pick someone vastly more caring and competent than Trump’s cruel, subversive ideologues, Kavanaugh and Barrett. I don’t need to watch the confirmation hearing to know Republicans will act like the hateful, ignorant, misogynistic, racist hypocrites they all are.

As with Putin and Trump, we already have mountains of evidence proving beyond doubt that many Republicans in Congress are corrupt, treasonous scumbags with zero regard for decency or human life. What we don’t see is anyone who should be confronting and punishing them doing it.

That’s what’s depresses me most. The brave Ukrainian people will succeed in repelling Putin from their country because defeat is not an option for them. But victory will come at the steepest imaginable cost.

Meanwhile, the U.S. sticks to its goal of letting all the bad guys win — at least, the ones who are politicians.


Did the U.S. Embolden Putin to Invade Ukraine?

March 9, 2022

By Karen

When Putin succeeded in planting his greasy orange sock puppet named Trump in the White House to disrupt the United States as much as possible, and we allowed it for four years, we should have known Putin wouldn’t stop there.

At Putin’s bidding, Trump did all he could to destroy the federal government and weaken NATO. He illegally withheld military aid from Ukraine to personally blackmail President Volodymyr Zelensky.

As a bonus, Trump even lucked into a random opportunity to effortlessly kill at least 400,000 Americans with lies about coronavirus.

The failed Ukraine scheme earned Trump his first impeachment, but it resulted in a huge jackpot for Putin. When Republicans refused to kick Trump out of office or even fault his blackmail attempt, Putin realized his puppet show (and influence) had magically expanded to include the entire Republican Party.

Then Special Counsel Robert Mueller, with both hands tied behind his back, investigated Trump and couldn’t expose that Putin’s hand was so far up Trump’s ass, we could see Putin giving us the finger out of Trump mouth. So Trump again remained in office.

When Putin didn’t help Trump stay in office in 2020, Trump on his own tried to overthrow the government. This got him impeached a second time, but Putin’s true-blue Republicans helped Trump survive once more without a scratch. This allowed Trump to regroup at Mar-a-Lago and continue fomenting insurrection, taking with him 15 thoughtfully packed boxes of classified documents to give his benefactor Putin as thanks for 2016-2020 memories.

It appears Putin grew bored once Biden was sworn in. Half of Congress are still Putin’s useful idiots, but their individual influence is negligible, so corrupting our government is no fun for him anymore.

Putin’s undoubtedly been watching the Biden administration let Trump and his allies continue to roam the country, campaigning for treason. Anywhere but in the U.S., a former “leader” promoting a violent coup would be arrested, charged, and imprisoned to await trial.

But here’s what Americans are doing when faced with a diaper-wearing wannabe mobster whose entire life of naked criminality has been so evil and vast that it defies description. We investigate, form committees, seat grand juries, launch sub-investigations and subcommittees, issue reports redacted of all the pertinent facts, and amass mountains of irrefutable evidence of guilt. Then we do NOTHING with the evidence until everyone involved dies of natural causes. Then we leave judgment to “future history books.”

If the U.S. had an ounce of respect for law and justice, Trump’s bloated carcass would be rotting in prison or a home for the criminally insane and Putin would be too afraid to send flowers.

I believe our government’s utter failure to punish Trump’s crimes is what gave Putin complete confidence that he could invade and seize Ukraine.

Every time I watch the news and see the senseless carnage and destruction Putin is inflicting on Ukraine, or hear of another “roadblock” or successful Trump stall tactic to stave off punishment, I can’t help feeling that we put Putin up to it with our continued chickenshit coddling of the monster Putin created to test us — Trump.


Chapter 93: COVID Chronicles

June 29, 2020

By Karen

Day 110

With Trump, No Surprises Left & I Get Creative with Leftovers

As if it weren’t enough for Trump to be killing us in droves with COVID at home, we learn he’s been happy to let Russia take out our soldiers by proxy in Afghanistan.

It seems Putin pays the Taliban bounties for American hides. And Trump now denies that he and Pence have known it for months.

I’ll concede it’s possible that Trump, with his dwindling mental capacity, has no memory of it. And Pence’s standard line for everything is, “Nobody never tells me nuttin’ about nuttin’.”

And maybe whenever Chickenshit Cheetos Cadet Bone Spurs salutes a soldier, it’s not his secret “Fuck You!” signal to our generals because he’s been helping his BFF Vladdy wipe out U.S. troops without wasting any Russian bullets.

When did we make it OK for presidents who commit cut-and-dried treason say, “You can’t blame me for treason because I’m too mentally incapacitated, but you still have to let me run the country”?

What I find most tedious about this latest crime is everyone’s totally predictable outrage and continuing questions.

If there’s one thing 100% consistent about Trump, whether he’s manifesting any heinous human trait you can imagine, or behaving with such depravity that it defies description, it’s that it’s always EXACTLY as bad as it looks.

Trump has NEVER said or done anything that left anyone saying, “Well, that certainly wasn’t as bad as we feared.”

Moreover, it usually gets worse as you peel away the putrid layers of corruption that envelop everything he touches.

These bounties will be no different. Trump has been green-lighting Putin’s Kill-Americans-for-Fun-and-Profit project.

Don’t be surprised if it’s eventually revealed that Putin pays Trump a percentage on every American kill. Trump’s never been one to pass up an opportunity to demand a cut for his beneficence. This will probably be no exception.

Back on the culinary front, last night I had leftover beef lo mein in the fridge from my favorite takeout place, China Taste. I jazzed it up with onions and broccoli doused in soy sauce and sesame oil, and sprinkled it with bits of boneless pork spare ribs. It turned out delicious…

For today’s lunch, I still haven’t bought lunchmeat, and had only a dab of Mediterranean pasta salad left. It swims in olive oil, so I added some diced tomato sprinkled with oregano. Then a few Kalamata olives. And for protein I had some hard salami sitting around, so why not? For that touch of green, capers. Finished off with feta cheese. Voila! Tasty little lunch…

Speaking of lo mein, does anybody know a good recipe for whatever’s on the noodles? I’ve tried several, but have never been able to duplicate that restaurant taste.


Who Needs Stinking Elections? Just Form a New Country!

December 21, 2007

By Fred

I had a WTF moment when I sat on Russian President Vladimir Putin’s face – as Person of the Year on Time magazine’s cover. Apparently, I wasn’t alone, because Time has been swearing it’s no honor, just recognition of his… uh… “influence.”

 

putin-timemag.jpg

When George W. Bush looked into Putin’s eyes, he saw his soul. When I look into Putin’s eyes, I’m reminded of the shark Robert Shaw described in Jaws: “…he’s got lifeless eyes. Black eyes. Like a doll’s eyes.”

Putin latest scheme to hold onto power is to merge Russia with Belarus so he can be president of a bigger, better country. The only turd in the water bowl is that Belarus already has a ruthless dictator, Alexander Lukashenko, who isn’t about to give up his own job security.

I’m worried that Dick Cheney will hear about this and start telling George, “Let’s invade Mexico and form a ‘new’ country. We could slip some fine print into the Constitution that says Congress can’t run a new country, so they’d be toast and you and I can rule as long as my pacemaker lasts.”

If that doesn’t tempt George, Cheney could add, “We’d be killing three birds with one stone. Once we’re running Mexico, all their illegal immigrants automatically become citizens and an unlimited source of cheap labor. What’s not to love about that?”

It takes a while for Bush to grasp concepts, but once he gets it, he’ll probably say, “Why stop at Mexico? Hell, let’s invade Canada! Our boys could whip those woosies in a week. Then we can say we have universal healthcare to shut up all the crybabies who think they’re too good to go to the emergency room when they get sick. Bring it on! My legacy’s looking better already!”

They’d make Genghis Khan and Atila the Hun proud.


Bush: The Bad Leaders’ Role Model

November 8, 2007

By Fred

President Bush is stewing over General Pervez Musharraf in Pakistan. He even phoned the guy and explained, “You can’t be the president and the head of the military at the same time.”

Bush wants that niche all to himself. Because he’s called “the Commander in Chief,” he thinks he can start wars without asking anyone’s permission. That big domed thing in Washington with all those senators and congresspeople is a chicken coop as far as he and Cheney are concerned.

Bush shouldn’t be shocked when other power-hungry nut jobs follow his lead.

President Mahmoud Amadinejad of Iran loves making outrageous statements with no basis in reality. He says Iran has no gays, and the jury’s still out on whether the Holocaust really happened.

Bush thinks God talks directly to him.

Hugo Chavez of Venezuela calls Bush “Satan” and smells sulfur whenever he’s nearby.

Bush thought Saddam Hussein was demonic and couldn’t rest until he was dead, paving the way for all leaders to have each other whacked at will.

Vladimir Putin seems to be planning to pick up where he leaves off as president by becoming prime minister of Russia. Bush thinks he saw Putin’s soul in his eyes. I think he just recognized another bird of the same feather.

The two razor-thin “elections” that put Bush and Cheney in power couldn’t bear scrutiny. Now that they’ve made the world their litter box, they’d probably opt to stay in the White House for life if they thought they could get away with it. If they don’t like being copied by despotic leaders who mistreat their people, they have only themselves to blame.


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