Owner Disses Cat’s High School Diploma

August 18, 2009

By Yul

Oreo, a 2-year-old cat in Macon, Georgia, completed her studies at Jefferson High School Online with the financial support and encouragement of her owner, and now he’s dissing her diploma.

Oreo likes to stay on top of current events, too. (Photo - Kelvin Collins)

Oreo likes to stay on top of current events, too. (Photo - Kelvin Collins)

Her owner is Kelvin Collins, the prez and CEO of the Central Georgia Better Business Bureau. Apparently, Collins helped Oreo complete her studies only as a stunt to prove that such diplomas are worthless.

He’s basically saying a school has to be a special kind of stupid to graduate a cat.

The nerve.

I’m sure Oreo, who was rescued from a ditch as a kitten, is justifiably proud of her achievement. How many human 2-year-olds can compose essays about their life experiences?

If you want to talk about stupid businesses, our late brother Rex had his own credit card. Credit was so loosey-goosey, First Card offered Karen another card in anybody’s name without any other information. So she got a card for Rex.

Soon, the mailbox was crammed with offers from American Express and many others, clamoring to give Rex more credit. He even started getting calls from telemarketers.

First Card raised his credit limit several times, even though he never charged anything. It was only when Karen ran into some problem with the account and got jerked around and, in a fit of pique, informed the company that one of their cardholders was a cat, that they cut Rex off.

But Oreo did the coursework in good faith and I think her owner should show her a little more respect. Giving her a new automatic litterbox as a graduation present was a good start.

She also got 15 minutes of fame with MSNBC, and CatsWorking just extended it to 16.

Congratulations, Oreo!

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