Do I Smell Bait, or is that Chris Christie?

January 20, 2014

By Cole

We cats have a saying… The fish rots from the head.

Every time the news replays New Jersey governor Chris Christie professing how “blindsided” and “humiliated” he is now that the 4-day closing of the George Washington Bridge in September was revealed to be senseless and politically motivated, what I see is a big stinking halibut on a man’s shoulders, making fish noises.

I’m not really hearing any human making this point, so let a cat state the obvious…

There’s NO WAY Bridget Anne Kelly, Christie’s deputy chief of staff, woke up one morning and decided on a whim that it’s “Time for traffic problems in Fort Lee.”

Her marching orders came from someone higher up the food chain, someone who wanted, perhaps, to make an example of Fort Lee’s mayor to demonstrate what happens to those who fail to show proper respect.

And when David Wildstein at the Port Authority answered Kelly’s email with a simple, “Got it,” any idiot can see that the plan of attack was already determined and just needed word from Christie’s office to be set in motion.

Does anyone really believe Christie’s so oblivious in his own office that his closest, hand-picked aides could scurry around right under his nose, committing acts of vindictive retaliation left and right without his knowledge?

I’m sorry, but all paws point to Christie being the instigator. Why he didn’t get subpoenaed is beyond me.

I suspect Christie has two ironclad rules for his staff:

1. My revenge directives are always verbal, NEVER in writing, and
2. When you carry them out, NEVER mention my name.

And there’s probably a PS about violators sleeping with the fishes.

But when fired and thrown under the media bus, what do vindictive little shits well-trained in passive-aggressive behavior do? Well, Wildstein has already offered to sing like a nightingale in exchange for immunity from prosecution.

Let’s pretend for a moment we’re from another planet and believe Christie’s protestations of innocence. Is any politician who even unwittingly inspires his immediate circle to be so spiteful and underhanded, someone we really want in the White House, with the IRS, NSA, and TSA on tap to carry out future retaliations?

Christie’s clueless act may help him survive BridgeGate, but Republicans will have hit a new low if Christie turns out to be the best candidate they can nominate for president in 2016.

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