Obama’s Second-Term Theme: Enough is Enough

January 30, 2013

By Cole

If you were disappointed by President Obama’s first term, you had to love his second inaugural speech, where he focused on fixing what ails THIS country. He made scant mention of foreign policy or matters most dear to Republicans — namely, screwing anyone who isn’t rich and white.

Michelle was kind enough to toss Boehner & Co. a symbolic bone by dressing both the kids in purple.

After the ceremony, John McCain whined, “I would have liked to see some outreach.”

Yeah, for what? So you could spit on Obama’s extended hand and turn your back on him again?

Now that he has no more elections to win, Obama seems fresh out of cheeks to turn with Republicans. They seem to get the message.

Or perhaps a few Republicans heard about the recent Public Policy Polling survey where people ranked the 112th Congress below head lice, cockroaches, and colonoscopies, among other odious things.

Or maybe they got embarrassed watching themselves trying to rip Hillary Clinton a new one over the September attack on the Libyan Embassy. Beating Hillary over the head with the corpses of 4 murdered Americans for political show was exactly what we’ve come to expect of them. It was predictably pointless and disgusting and had Hillary exasperated.

Obama’s new calls for gun control, immigration reform, and gay rights have got the Republicans scurrying for cover, and led their standard-bearers, like vice presidential loser, Paul “Lyin’” Ryan, to tell his cronies they’d better start “picking their fights.”

In so many words, they’re admitting they’ve been hell-bent on sinking Obama just for spite, no matter what a mess they made of the country.

Isn’t that called treason?

This week, they’re allowing progress on immigration, and are letting women go in to combat.

Even the Boy Scouts are pulling their heads out of their asses to consider co-existence with gays (which they’ve probably been doing all along, just refusing to acknowledge).

Mitt Romney’s 3-million vote defeat proved that backward, conservative thinking is not the country’s preference. We hope Obama and Biden continue to drag Republicans into the 21st century.

Passed on State of the Union

January 25, 2012

By Cole

Nobody needs an hour to hear the state of the union. I can tell you in 2 words:

It stinks.

We fell asleep before President Obama finished glad-handing all his suck-ups and started flapping his teleprompted gums before Congress last night. Watching that bunch who dedicate their lives to sending this country down the crapper for their own enrichment, and applauding every 30 seconds about it, was more than we could stand.

Nor did we want to hear Obama’s latest bright idea for a new task force, fraud team, super-committee, or study group whose sole purpose will be to kick any actual solutions to our dire problems past that tricky fork in the road called “the election.”

If you’ve heard one State of the Union address, you’ve heard them all. No matter how bad things are, a president of either party will say, “We’re strong, we’re great, things are getting better.” Yada, yada, yada.

And millions of Americans are out of work, living in their cars, wondering where their next meal is coming from, or becoming deathly ill because they can’t afford to see a doctor.

Michelle Obama “wowed” everyone in a blue dress by the unpronounceable designer, Barbara Tfank, while she sat with Warren Buffett’s secretary, who was there to remind us she pays more taxes than her millionaire boss. I bet a Tfank is beyond her means.

And that’s because we have a system where, if you make so much money you can pile it up somewhere to passively accrue even MORE money, and you can live well on it doing absolutely NOTHING productive (Mitt Romney, I’m thinking of you), you get to pay a relative pittance in taxes.

But if you actually WORK and EARN A LIVING, the government can’t take a big enough chunk out of your hide. You’re lucky if they leave you with enough to buy a can of Alpo.

If the greedy, corrupt fat cats who occupy Washington had a problem with this situation, they’d change it. That’s why people elected them. But apparently they don’t. It’s more fun to stand around yammering and clapping and pretending for one night that they give a damn.

Thankfully, nobody says (yet) that we have to watch.

Bo Obama May Need the Dog Whisperer

April 16, 2009

By Yul

First Dog Bo looks more full-grown than puppy, and he’s dragged every Obama family member except little Sasha. Michelle’s new vegetable garden could probably use some Secret Service protection, since Bo may want revenge for the poodle number somebody did on his tail.

Let's hope they leave Bo's butt furry. (Photo - Bill O'Leary, Washington Post)

Let's hope they leave Bo's butt furry. (Photo - Bill O'Leary, Washington Post)

Dog Whisperer Cesar Millan loves to domesticate psycho dogs with macho methods that would leave him in shreds with any cat, but I think the Obamas, as first-time dog owners, could use Cesar before Bo stages a coup d’etat.

However, gaining control of Bo comes with some risk. Rush Limbaugh, Bill O’Reilly, and their ilk would probably never let them hear the end of it. “Oh great! The leader of the free world needs lessons in how to lead his own pack.”


Bo is registered with the American Kennel Club as Amigo’s New Hope. “Amigo” is the name of breeder Art Stern’s facility.

Bo’s mother is Penny, and his maternal grandmother is 9-year-old Pooka, who lives nearby in DC with some woman who works at the Department of Transportation.

Bo’s father is a 6-year-old stud named Watson, who lives in Pennsylvania. Watson knows how to stand next to the sink and flip food out of the garbage disposal.

A children’s book, Bo, America’s Commander in Leash, is already set for publication later this month. Author Naren Aryal couldn’t have known much, if anything, about the First Dog, so use of Bo’s name seems a shameless grab for book sales. I wonder if Michelle will be as vocal in condemning canine exploitation as she was with the Sasha and Malia dolls?

While training with Henry Higgins for his Washington debut, Bo learned to sit, shake, roll over, and bark, “I won’t rain in the plane as we fly over Spain.” He also understands the commands “off” and “wait.”

I heard on the news that Bo was returned by his first adoptive family because of some friction with their other dog.

The next thing we’re itching to know is what Bo does all day while the girls are at school. I hope Obama gives Bo a Cabinet seat and names him Secretary of Animal Rights.

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