Trump’s Strange Lack of Curiosity About Russia Explained

July 6, 2017

By Karen

Melania may have a hard time tucking Donald into bed tonight in Hamburg on the eve of what’s believed to be his first face-to-face with his idol, Vladmir Putin, at the G20 summit. It’s hard to know for sure if they’ve ever met before because Trump’s been lying for several years about their acquaintance.

By all reports, Putin’s done his homework and is well-armed with facts and intelligence. Trump goes in with the mostly blank slate he calls his “good brain.”

Trump has never asked about how Putin interferes in U.S. elections. I think it’s because Trump already knows. During the campaign, his flying monkeys verbally kept him informed on how they coordinated Russia’s efforts on Trump’s behalf.

The White House couldn’t get Trump up to speed on Putin because Trump’s puny attention span allowed only a series of tweet-length bullet points. He’s incapable of absorbing any more.

Putin also has an agenda, which likely includes getting back those two spying bases in the U.S. that Obama seized on his way out the door, and probably the lifting of financial sanctions.

Trump’s attitude seems to be, “Ask not what Russia can do for you, but what you can do for Russia,” because Trump requested a list of “deliverables” for Putin. Hey, why not? The man helped put Trump in the White House.

No one expects Trump to bring up Russia’s meddling as a bad thing. Rather, Trump may drop to his knees before Putin in gratitude and ask him how he likes his blow jobs.

Nah, I go too far. It wouldn’t be presidential, and it would take a crane to get Trump back on his feet. Maybe that’s why he brought Melania.

As for the rest of the summit, it remains to be seen how gauche and boorish Trump will be this time. At least the other leaders know to expect some scolding and shoving.

Angela Merkel has made it clear she has no use for the arrogant man-baby, and Emmanuel Macron has already played Trump’s childish alpha-male games.

When Trump’s BFF, Chinese President Xi Jinping, strolls in, wanna bet Trump goes all sweet and gooey like chocolate cake, instead of ordering China to bring North Korea to heel, like he’s been demanding in speeches to everyone else?

I don’t see how Trump can possibly survive this summit with his ass intact. After Putin chews him up and spits him out, the other 18 leaders can steer around his bloated orange carcass like roadkill. On too many fronts, Trump has not only abdicated leadership, but his right to express an opinion. CNN did a succinct run-down on the major conflicts Trump has created with the other 19 18 countries. (Correction: One of the G20 members is a representative of the EU.)

It’s sad that I actually want to see a president of the United States disrespected and demeaned in an international forum. But maybe being publicly bitch-slapped by other leaders will get his attention. Nothing will make him humble, but if the world stops listening to or believing him, it may minimize the damage Trump can inflict

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Melania Moves to DC: Too Little, Too Late

June 15, 2017

By Karen

Melania Trump woke up recently and remembered she’s a U.S. citizen. She’s also an unwilling first lady now, but nonetheless it’s her duty to protect us from her husband if she can. Special Counsel Robert Mueller is closing in fast on Trump, and the orange man-baby is figuratively throwing furniture around the White House, trying to elude capture.

Maybe James Comey’s testimony about Trump’s self-destructive behavior behind closed doors made Melania realize it’s time to get in the game. Or maybe Ivanka’s failure to control Daddy with her insipid whining, or Jared’s looming legal peril for being a naïve brat who thinks he can swim with the sharks, convinced her.

Whatever the reason, on Sunday, June 11, Melania, son Barron, and Melania’s parents officially moved to Washington. Crossing the White House lawn, Melania even let Trump hold her hand for a few moments before pulling away and shifting her purse so he couldn’t. Watch it on MSN. It starts at about 1:00.

Perhaps that gesture was his early, and only, birthday present.

Within a day or so of Melania’s arrival, Trump did a complete 180 on his health care bill, whose cruelty he had celebrated in the Rose Garden. Now he calls it “mean.” Coincidence? I think not.

Of course, Trump lacks any grasp of that bill to give specifics on what should change. You can almost hear the Trumps’ conversation. This is probably all Melania had to say to change his mind…

“Donald, the people who voted for you, you know, the poor and ignorant ones. Health care is the only thing the government has done for them in many years. If you take it away now, they will say you are mean, and maybe they won’t vote for you again.”

But let’s pause to reflect on poor Barron. This kid’s siblings are all old enough to be his parents and his father could be his grandfather. And now he’s stuck in the White House all summer, probably cramped in one room, not a whole floor like he had in Trump Tower, with only the Secret Service for company. He has no opportunities to make friends his own age before he attends a new school in the fall.

I don’t know if Barron had any friends back in NYC. He reminds me of a stalk of white asparagus — frail, spindly, devoid of personality. I guess that’s what happens to a child when you raise it in solitude, without sunlight or exercise. Let’s just hope he never turns orange.

Back to Melania: Of all the Trumps, I think she has NOT relied on Fox News for intel. She’s been watching CNN and MSNBC to see how Donald’s being attacked so she can play defense.

She probably started packing to move after she watched Dan Coats, Mike Rogers, and Jeff Sessions play coy with the Senate Intelligence Committee and make things worse. But it was already too late. They brought Washington to its senses and Trump IS now being investigated for obstruction of justice.

Happy 71st Birthday, Mr. President!

This feels to me like Chris Christie’s Bridgegate, but with much higher stakes. Trump must agree with me, because his choice to replace Comey as FBI director is Christopher Wray, Christie’s personal attorney, who’s quite familiar with how these setups work.

Trump surrounded himself with established Russians tools Paul Manafort, Carter Page, and Mike Flynn because he knew he couldn’t beat Hillary without help — and Russia offered to help.

No other presidential campaign in history ever had so many unexplained interactions with Russians. Trump knew what his minions were doing because he’s a micromanager. Like Christie’s, they operated under orders not to say or write anything tying Trump to their activities.

But once they got caught, micromanager Trump swooped in to stop the investigation, and now he’s in the soup with them.

Obstruction of justice charges may segue into conflicts of interest, illegal business dealings, perjury, and even treason. The snowball is rolling down the hill now. Any Trump attempts to stop it will only bury him, Jared, and their cronies in a deeper avalanche.

Melania can’t save Trump now, and she probably knows it. But she’ll look worse if she doesn’t at least try to stand by her man.


Foreign Travel Fails to Enlighten Trump

May 31, 2017

By Karen

We paid for the man-baby to have nine days of nonstop play dates in the Middle East and Europe. He showed his gratitude by behaving like the quintessential Ugly American, going out of his way to belittle and demean his hosts in Europe.

Surprisingly, Melania allowed herself to be dragged along, even though Ivanka would have been thrilled to handle all first lady duties. But Melania made it clear she wasn’t happy. She avoided Trump’s touch in public as long as she could, usually with a scowl. Finally, she relented at their last stop, Sicily, by helping the Geezer-in-Chief leave Air Force One.

Notice, his hand is on top of hers so he can push down. When any real gentleman approaches a lady, he does so with palm up so she can rest her hand in his.

But backing up to their first stop in Saudi Arabia… we saw Trump dance around with a sword, curtsy upon receiving an obscene gold necklace, and hand the Saudis a “great” $100 billion arms deal. Yeah, Saudis deserve YUGE discounts from American manufacturers on weapons they’ll buy to kill us with.

Next stop was Israel, where Trump received warm hospitality after betraying their confidence by bragging coded intelligence from them to his Russian BFFs in the Oval Office.

The Israelis did make Trump stand with his face to the Western Wall. Trump didn’t seem to register his resemblance to a little kid being punished.

Then it was off to Europe to meet a gaggle of leaders, including the Pope. The Pope managed to come through unscathed. But the remainder of the trip was a disaster. The other European dignitaries made the fatal mistake of not immediately falling into line to kiss Trump’s ring and tell him how wonderful he is.

France’s new president, Emmanuel Macron, did give Trump a few “hand jobs,” but they left Trump ungratified. Macron’s more steely grip rendered Trump’s famous dick move for asserting his own dominance a failure.

But lest anyone forget who the biggest bully was, Trump shoved the prime minister of Montenegro…

The prime minister graciously said he didn’t really notice, but Trump still looked like a jerk.

As always, lacking the cojones to face the confrontations he instigates, Trump refused to tell the group whether the U.S. will continue to honor the Paris Climate Agreement.

Now that he’s back in the White House, with his Twitter, his blankie, and his thumb in his mouth, all signs point to Trump backing out any minute — because he doesn’t understand what it means.

Trump thinks he’s “Making America Great Again” by chucking all this country’s influence and leadership. German Chancellor Angela Merkel, who is evidently done trying to make nice with Trump and the insipid Ivanka, is telling her fellow leaders not to rely on the U.S. for anything for the foreseeable future.

Meanwhile, on the home front, investigators are closing in on that baby-faced weasel, Jared Kushner, for trying to establish a clandestine communication channel directly with the Kremlin. I can think of only two reasons Kushner and Trump would want that:

  1. The Trump administration intends to negotiate peace in our time without our government finding out about it, or
  2. The Trump and Kushner organizations have many shady, but lucrative, business deals they intend to continue with Russian oligarchs, and they need to keep Putin in the loop because he has the final word.

BONUS: Garrison Keillor captured this country’s mood while Trump was gone. I couldn’t have said it better myself.


Should Taxpayers Pay to Secure Trump Family Business Trips?

February 28, 2017

By Karen

In two words: HELL, NO!

Security and embassy staff accompanied Trump’s son Eric to Uruguay on a business trip, and we taxpayers got stuck paying $97,830 for their lodgings. That doesn’t include their salaries and travel expenses.

This was business Daddy Donald claims to be divorced from, even as any profits presumably keep flowing into his bank account.

My question: How did Trump’s adult children keep themselves alive before Daddy got the Secret Service, and why are we protecting them now like they’re heirs to the throne?

Donald’s supposedly a billionaire who claims he doesn’t need to collect his $400,000 annual salary as president, so why aren’t he or his adult sons footing the bills for security on nongovernment-related business jaunts in Trump’s name?

After all, Trump’s already squeezing taxpayers to secure his house, golf course, and the freaking Atlantic Ocean every weekend he spends at Mar-a-Lago — which is to say, all of them.

And since Melania doesn’t want to be first lady, New York City pays anywhere from $150,000 to $500,000 a DAY to keep her and Barron in the digs they’ve grown accustomed to at Trump Tower, although the setup is wreaking havoc on Tiffany’s and anybody else unfortunate enough to be in the vicinity.

Our government lets Trump bank profits he rakes in on the D.C. hotel near the White House that he leases from the government in a conflict of interest so clear, it’s a disgrace that the feds didn’t confiscate the property on Inauguration Day. Why doesn’t Trump donate those to defray travel expenses?

Trump’s alleged forfeited salary amounts to chump change when he and his family are on track to siphon off hundreds of millions in travel and security expenses if he completes a term. The Trumps treat the U.S. Treasury like their piggy bank to finance trips wherever their fancies take them.

Meanwhile, Congress watches this ritual rape of the taxpayers and does nothing.

When Trump speaks to Congress tonight, any words he says about cutting budgets or saving money are meaningless so long as he and his family swan around, personally enriching themselves, while the rest of us pay for them to do it.


Watching Trump Play at Being President

December 12, 2016

By Karen

Donald Trump and his enablers are radiating crazy with LED intensity. When he isn’t preening for the stream of supplicants vying to be on his cabinet, he’s jetting off to “thank you” rallies where he babbles lies to fawning admirers. Like the Carrier workers in Indiana he duped by inflating the number of jobs not moving to Mexico, so as to appear a bigger savior. To bask in their grateful applause, he lied to 300 people’s faces that their livelihoods were safe.

He hasn’t even been sworn in yet, but he’s already re-elected himself, telling Fox that he’s blowing off daily intelligence briefings because, “I’m, like, a smart person. I don’t have to be told the same thing in the same words every single day for the next eight years.”

And now that the CIA is getting warmer on how Russia tipped the election scales, Trump’s calling their investigation “ridiculous.”

I believe Trump knew what Russia was doing, which was why he kept saying the election was rigged. He was pissed because he didn’t think it was working, until it did. Now he lies that he won “by a landslide” and that those 2.7 million more votes that went to Hillary were “illegal.”

Meanwhile, he may ask the head of ExxonMobil, Rex Tillerson, to be secretary of state. Vladmir Putin once pinned Tillerson with a friendship medal, so who other than Tillerson would more eagerly cover Donald and Vlad’s dirty tracks, whether they lead to ill-gotten votes or corrupt business deals?

Trump’s other cabinet choices look like a lead-footed Dancing with the Stars cast, heavy on Wall Street fat cats he dissed during the campaign, and generals for whom he expressed nothing but contempt. Sprinkled in is cannon fodder — Ben Carson for HUD — who will give Trump his first cue to bellow, “You’re fired!” when Trump needs to distract us from some criminal activity.

Two other light-weights being considered are Sarah Palin for Veterans Affairs (341,000 employees serving nearly 22 MILLION veterans when she couldn’t hack governing 740,000 in Alaska), and Rick Perry for Energy, a department Perry wanted to abolish in 2012.

The emerging pattern is Trump’s intent to head every agency with a person who, if unable to undermine by imposing upon it contradictory ideology, to bring it down through sheer incompetence. Trump must think federal agencies threaten his omnipotence, so they have to be crippled or destroyed.

And conflicts of interest with his businesses and family financial interests already feel ingrained in his every move.

Trump plans to continue as an executive producer of The Apprentice, which compromised all NBC journalists, his co-workers. Kellyanne Conway nonsensically compared Trump’s dabbling in Apprentice to Obama playing golf.

Let’s not forget Trump’s other hobby — cyberbullying private citizens on Twitter.

Carrier union leader Chuck Jones accurately said Trump “lied his ass off” about the number of union jobs he saved, so Trump tweeted that Jones had done a “terrible job” representing workers. That was enough for Trump’s groupies to send Jones death threats.

Consistent with his behavior campaigning, our future president incites violence against private citizens he thinks have crossed him. Does this make him a petty, egomaniacal dictator yet?

The world watches while this ignorant maniac assembles a gaggle of racists, hawks, backward-thinkers and know-nothings destined to sow chaos from the moment he’s inaugurated.

My only consolation is that Melania’s not moving into the White House with him. The longer she stays away, the more I respect her. She knows he’s dragged her in way over her head, and to limit her and her son’s exposure to Trump’s insatiable need to be worshipped can only be a good thing.


U.S. Elects its First Dictator

November 9, 2016

By Karen

They’re calling it the American Brexit.

Donald Trump is president-elect and it’s official: ignorance, hatred, and bigotry are the fuel that runs the United States.

And don’t forget deceit. To people who listened to Trump’s year of verbal diarrhea and thought it sounded great, yet lied to pollsters because they were ashamed to admit it, I say, just wait. Your payback is coming. Very soon.

You can’t hand a demented monster absolute power, shored up by BOTH houses of Congress, and expect rainbows and roses.

Trump managed to deliver a coherent, moderately dignified, and inclusive acceptance speech, but we can count the days before he reverts to type. He’s never been able to sustain sanity.

In fact, it wouldn’t surprise me if he gloats and announces today that he was being sarcastic.

For a first lady, we’ve got a piece of Slovenian arm candy whose website misrepresented her level of education. In researching her immigration history (which Trump promised to provide but never did), the AP uncovered that she earned $20,000 in seven weeks, modeling in the U.S. before she was legally allowed to. She stole jobs from American models.

Melania announced that her focus will be cyber-bullying. Let’s hope she starts by closing her husband’s Twitter account.

What’s most galling about this revolting development is that Hillary may have won the popular vote.

After Trump has repeatedly bashed Mexicans and all Hispanics, Muslims, blacks, the military, women, and many others, you have to be a real fool to believe he’ll work in anyone’s best interests but his own.

One election won’t turn a profane, ignorant, narcissistic buffoon into a statesman overnight.

I’m going to go curl into a fetal position and cry now. This feels so much more ominous than the Bush-Cheney victories. Sure, that pair started wars, but they had some experience governing and didn’t go around pissing in everybody’s face with personal insults while they did it.


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