Diana Gets a Statue, and It’s Odd

July 9, 2021

By Karen

I always loved Princess Diana, even with all her flaws. We were brides two months apart in 1981, and she worked a lot harder and longer at her marriage than I ever did. I followed her ups and downs (and wardrobe and hairstyles) like any fangirl.

In 1997, I happened to be visiting Paris and passed right by the tunnel hours after she died there, and I still remember the news as one of the most shocking moments of my life.

On July 1, Diana’s 60th birthday, a statue her sons commissioned was unveiled in the sunken garden of her home (where son William now lives and reputedly ejected Harry from), Kensington Palace in London…

They chose a lovely spot for it, said to be one of Diana’s favorites. But that’s the only nice thing I can say about it, classifying its flaws as the three C’s.

Color. It’s bronze and already looks like a rotting Civil War relic. What were they thinking? For Diana, it’s glistening white marble all the way.

Cleavage. WTF with the blouse halfway unbuttoned? And don’t even mention the silly WWF Wrestling belt, which wasn’t Diana’s look. (Adele the cat HATED those belts and never let Michelle Obama hear the end of it.)

Child. One has to wonder how much the boys kicked in for that extra kid who’s being ignored behind her. He’s all but invisible if you’re not at just the right angle…

In the end, it’s the thought that counts, so I guess they did do better than whoever carved that Melania statue in Slovenia…

For the unveiling, Prince Harry left his newborn daughter, Lilibet Diana Mountbatten-Windsor, so he could stew for five days in quarantine at Frogmore. Reports said he showed up at the ceremony 10 minutes beforehand and left 20 minutes afterward.

His public rationale for lamming it back to L.A. with almost no contact with his own family was the death of Meghan’s uncle Mike.

Mike Markle was Meghan’s father Thomas’ older brother. He died without meeting Harry or the two kids, so you know Meghan must be devastated by her loss and needs Harry by her side.

Meghan also hasn’t spoken to Thomas since 2018. He “royally” cheesed her off by having a heart attack and surgery days before her wedding so he couldn’t fly to London. Last month, he did this pathetic interview with 60 Minutes Australia and explained the family dynamics…

The Queen has apparently invited the Harry-Markles to her Platinum Jubilee next year, but it’s uncertain whether they’ll be treated as equal royals in the festivities, which you know Meghan will order Harry to demand.

In the meantime, the Palace isn’t releasing the results of their in-house investigation of Meghan’s alleged bullying of staff until next year. The delay implies to me that they’re finding Meghan did it and have opted not to add fuel to the fire she’s stoking.

But at least Meghan knows the Queen has the deets and could release them if Meghan is cooking up any other plans for defamatory self-promotion.


Wish Prince Harry Would Stuff a Sock In It

May 25, 2021

By Karen

His mouth, I mean. I’ve been fuming over Republicans trying to block a January 6 commission because they’re scared shitless of exposing their role as insurrection mentors and enablers. But the other nasty story that keeps pinging my radar is Harry and his terrible, horrible, beastly, nightmarish, very bad childhood.

The bulk of this tale has come out since Harry went to his grandfather Prince Philip’s funeral. There, he had to face William and Charles after letting his wife Meghan call the Royal Family a pack of racists, to Oprah’s everlasting faux-shock, on national TV.

Harry’s lucky Aunt Princess Anne and Uncle Prince Edward just cut him dead, when they probably would have liked to drag him out behind the castle and beat the snot out of him.

On a side note, Harry just showed an equal lack of respect for his adopted country during his Armchair Expert podcast when he called our First Amendment “bonkers” (44:54). Now Fox and Trump’s cult are pissed at him, too.

He followed that up by taking more whacks at the Windsors on an Apple TV+ series he’s producing with Oprah called The Me You Can’t See. As her subject for one episode, he nailed Charles as a terrible father who believed his sons should grow up as miserable as he’d been as a child.

By the way, the Queen is Charles’ mother. She’s still alive, 95, and freshly widowed. But Harry didn’t think twice about outing her by inference as a negligent parent.

But I’m most intrigued by what he unwittingly reveals about Meghan. He compares Meghan to Diana’s Egyptian boyfriend, Dodi Fayed, taking it no deeper than race. I suspect their motivations in hooking up with a royal is the more apt parallel to draw.

For example, after less than a year in the “Firm,” pregnant (manipulative value), Meghan chose right before she and Harry had to appear in public at a glittery concert to tell him she was considering suicide and how she’d do it. Then she apparently cried quietly during the concert, lest his memory fade.

The upshot was that Harry gave up his life and bought Meghan a mansion among the rich and famous in Montecito, where she’d be comfortable.

Then he described being awakened one night by Meghan right before the big Oprah CBS interview. He thought she was crying softly into her pillow so as not to wake him. This time, although separated by a continent and an ocean, Meghan was distraught over the royals’ and media’s “smear campaign” against her.

I wouldn’t put it past Meghan to have waited until Harry fell asleep to play this scene for maximum impact. She was bent on using Oprah to exact revenge on her in-laws and had to ensure that Harry wouldn’t back out because his grandfather happened to be lying on his deathbed.

Now Harry says he’s going around “telling his story” to help others. Our hearts all go out to 12-year-old Harry over the tragic, senseless loss of his mother. But no matter how Harry spins it, we saw him grow up with palaces, privilege and a devoted older brother, and party his way through life until he joined the army. Now he’s revealing that he has no sense of history, and no respect for his grandmother, who has dutifully lived the role history thrust upon her.

Harry wants the wealth without the responsibilities. The fame without the exposure. Total privacy while baring all in every media outlet that will have him.

Harry keeps lobbing these “truth” grenades at his family like a passive-aggressive chickenshit, knowing they can’t wallow in the muck trying to defend themselves.

I hope Harry and Oprah are over-milking this mental health cow and soon have people saying, “Enough already. We get it. You had horrible childhoods. But you’re rich and famous now. Stop acting like a pair of greedy ingrates and go away.”


Gotta Love Those Sussex-Markles — or Not?

March 11, 2021

By Karen

J&J VACCINATION UPDATE: After I got the shot Monday, I felt fine. Tuesday, I woke up with a headache, and was exhausted by afternoon. That evening, I had a fever that peaked at 99.8° but was normal by bedtime. Now on Thursday, my arm feels like someone punched me. But that means it’s working.

Now, to Harry and Meghan…

I must comment on their tête-à-tête with Oprah on March 7. My sympathies lie with Harry. Poor guy lost his mother at 12. Now he’s estranged from his brother, his whole family, friends and country. And all because he’s been thinking with his “other brain” since he met Meghan Markle.

Photo: CBS

Their interview was so distasteful, my DVR revolted, taping only the first 90 minutes and cutting off Oprah in mid-sentence.

Coincidentally, Oprah and the Sussex-Markles are neighbors in Montecito, California. Do you think it was Harry who popped over to Oprah’s to borrow a cup of publicity? Or, more likely, did the girls casually plot what fun it would be dish some royal dirt?

When it started, Oprah announced the couple didn’t know what they’d be asked, but she and Meghan exchanged a look. Oprah also said they weren’t paid.

But Oprah’s Harpo Productions was — $7 million. And CBS doubled ad prices and tacked on an extra 30 minutes to max out their cut.

For Harry — and mostly Meghan — compensation must have been the satisfaction of burying hatchets in all of the royal family’s heads.

Her “delicate condition” with child notwithstanding, Harry remained off-camera while Meghan did the heaviest shit-shoveling. Her tale didn’t hang together too well. And actress or not, she couldn’t sell herself to me as innately regal, yet pathetic and vulnerable because her fin kept breaking the surface.

For example, she initially told Oprah she doesn’t read what’s written about her, but then said it had driven her to “not want to live anymore.” She topped that by claiming the royals denied her any medical or psychological treatment because it would “look bad.” Who was going to tell anybody?

She also claimed they’d “taken” her passport, as if they considered her a flight risk, even though they all hated her so much.

She professed near-total ignorance of the royal family from the outset, and no curiosity to learn. Harry had to teach her to curtsy, a thing she never thought the woman who’s been Queen of England decades longer than Meghan’s been alive would EVER expect her to.

If the royals weren’t utterly charmed by Meghan’s persistent American oafishness and refusal to adapt to centuries of tradition upon joining the family, I can’t blame them.

Leaving no shovel unturned, Meghan also accused them of spreading lies about her. We should disregard whatever’s been written about Meghan’s churlishness toward anyone in the palace and believe exactly the opposite, including that Kate made Meghan cry before her wedding.

Meghan essentially played a whole deck of victim cards, pulling a bunch of extra racism aces out of her sleeve for good measure because she knew those would go atomic. And they have.

Aside: I just happened across this little Meghan vs. Kate story about Archie’s christening. Yeah, that Kate’s one real bitch.

Speaking of Archie, Meghan’s story now is that she WANTED Archie to be a prince, but the mean Queen wouldn’t let him because he’s — biracial.

Fact: Great-grandchildren don’t have titles because it’s not done. William’s kids do because they’re in the direct line of succession.

Do you remember when Meghan refused to give birth in the usual royal hospital and insisted that her baby have a “normal” life? Or was that really “the Firm” denying her medical care again?

And was giving her baby the most common name she could muster, after Archie Bunker, the biggest racist in American sitcom history, intended as an ironic slap at “the Firm”? Or is Meghan planning to call her daughter-to-be Gertrude because she’s got a thing for ugly names?

Speaking of “the Firm,” that’s what Meghan consistently called her in-laws. To acknowledge them as human beings might have made viewers picture them being slashed and burned before our eyes. Particularly 99-year-old Prince Philip, who may be on his deathbed right now.

Harry was a bit more circumspect, gallantly refusing to name the royal who allegedly asked about Archie’s skin tone. That tidbit was dropped on us as if it was a matter of deep concern expressed by a card-carrying racist relative. Or was it rather a very tasteless, cringe-worthy joke, instantly regretted and never meant to be repeated? We’ll probably never know.

In the end, what possible purpose did those two have, except a play for attention and perhaps to drum up more lucrative deals?

Since they’ve now cemented a reputation as people who will pull out if the going gets tough, and then stab you in the back just for revenge and to make Oprah even wealthier, I’m wondering how receptive they’ll find Corporate America.

Since she didn’t take to royalty, Meghan has achieved another dream of sorts: A $14.65 million, 18,000-square-foot, nine-bedroom, 16-bath mansion on 7.4 acres of land where she keeps rescue chickens like a Beverly Hillbilly when she’s not swapping casserole recipes with real celebrity neighbors, Gwyneth Paltrow and Ellen DeGeneres.

Harry’s saddled with a $9.5 million mortgage and whatever skills he gained in the military to parlay into some sort of career to support his family. And, I’m afraid, future misery if he fails to deliver to Meghan’s satisfaction.


Chapter 73: COVID Chronicles

June 9, 2020

By Karen

Day 90

Harry and Meghan & Roc In a Box

Officially three months — 90 days in lock-down. I enjoy all the comforts of home and cats, but am beginning to understand how prisoners must feel. Nothing to look forward to, nowhere to go. Just make do with what you’ve got and take life one day at a time.

Many states, including Virginia, are steadily reopening even as cases spike and hospital beds max out. Virginia has surpassed 51,000 cases. I have no plans to rejoin the world until we get definitive word that the coast is (relatively) clear.

Meanwhile, the long, hot summer is here. Temps in the 80s and 90s, with afternoon thunderstorms to keep it steamy. Here’s Max and Roc last night hanging out…

…waiting for their Chewy.com delivery. When it came, Roc wasted no time checking out his new digs and fresh paper…

Why do Prince Harry and Meghan Markle keep popping up on my radar? Aren’t we done with them?

In March, when they seceded from royal life by posting it on social media before they personally told Harry’s family, I was surprised at the positive reaction: “Good for them! Screw the royals!”

I was initially sad for Harry, but then he and Meghan became our problem by moving to Los Angeles.

Not before trying to snooker the Queen into letting them have it all their way. They’d do her the favor of dropping in for “some” duties when they weren’t hawking their “Sussex Royal brand” for a buck. The Queen said, “Hell, no.”

So now they say they want to earn an honest living, but still use their ex-royal status as leverage. I’m sorry, but that’s cheating if commoners are in line for the same work.

Of course, every story has two sides. We heard rumors that the family was beastly, even racist, toward Meghan. And also that Meghan’s a diva whose demands made staff quit.

What I always saw was an ambitious actress I’d never heard of whose family (except her mom) clamored like trailer trash for 15 minutes of fame as soon as she latched onto Harry.

Meghan gave up “all” her cable TV fame for instant international recognition with a royal wedding. Then she spent nine months with her hand on her tummy whenever a camera was present lest we forget for a second she was Harry’s baby-mama.

Then all went quiet (supposedly to give Archie a “normal” life). Until the Big Split.

It’s reported that William and Harry, always close, grew distant over Meghan. She even managed to piss off unflappable Kate.

I always knew Meghan wouldn’t stay in Kate’s shadow. Her wish was to eclipse Kate, never to play second banana.

When obliterating Kate with her own brilliance failed, Meghan yanked Harry away from his family, schoolmates and old army buddies. Now they’re both looking for work where Meghan feels most comfortable and Harry is a curiosity.

But I don’t think this phase will last, either. When time goes on and Meghan discovers being a nonfunctioning duchess opens fewer and fewer doors, she’ll dump Harry and use Archie to bargain a fine royal settlement for herself. The royals will welcome Harry and his broken heart back into the fold.

I love Harry and hate to see him go through this, but these are his choices.

This has always been my favorite Meghan photo because Kate wouldn’t be caught dead tying her coat like that…

New York Times


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