Chapter 32: COVID Chronicles

April 29, 2020

By Karen

Day 49

“Quarantine Brain is a Real Thing”

This was said during a commercial break by actress Lauren Ash, who plays assistant store manager Dina on Superstore, one of the crazy sitcoms I love. Are you feeling it yet?

Today marks seven weeks in lockdown. SEVEN. WEEKS. Virginia’s current plan is to keep it going until June 10, so that’s six more weeks. Thirteen weeks total, a full quarter of 2020. I’ll miss spring completely.

Today is sunny and breezy, so we’ve got all the windows open, pollen be damned. After dashing around to enjoy it this morning, the cats are now enjoying their siestas all over the house. We recycled their box today because a new shipment is expected any day now. Tony (who’s doing the nudist thing today) had to tell his pissed-off stuffed croissant, “Be patient, you’ll have a new home soon”…

Last night I thought my pierced ears might be growing shut because I haven’t worn earrings in so long. Quarantine brain? I have the first gold studs I bought in 1975 when two co-workers egged me into getting holes at a Piercing Pagoda kiosk at the mall during our lunch break. They went in fine, and last night I slept in them, just for good measure…

I’ll never forget the sound of that piercing gun scrunching through my lobes. It was the first time I almost fainted. The second time was recently when I hunted for toilet paper wearing a hot mask.

Does anybody wear rings now? I don’t. I think they’re virus catchers. I’m kind of surprised nobody’s ever brought it up. You wash your hands, but what about under your rings or in the nooks and crannies of the settings? Could virus still lurk there?

Quarantine brain again.

Last night I was watching Monday night’s DVR catches, and I was thrilled to see Lawrence O’Donnell address Trump’s mental meltdown head-on. He described Trump’s state of mind as “King George III-level madness.” Then he described our two-day respite from Trump’s televised lying sessions after facing universal outrage and mockery over his disinfectant suggestions as “a full weekend where no one had to watch Donald Trump saying crazy and dangerous and indescribably stupid things.”

We should be hearing Trump’s verbal diarrhea described EXACTLY that way by EVERY talking head on EVERY news show. (Well, wishful thinking that Fox and OANN would ever go there.)

This week I finally watched the rest of Homeland. I loved the early years when Brody was alive and Carrie couldn’t resist him, even if he might be a traitor. But as the show dragged on, as they do (I’m thinking Outlander), with short seasons a year or more apart, it was hard to stay enthusiastic while the real world was unraveling.

I thought Homeland ended as well as it could, although the final scenes raised many questions I supposed we’ll never get answered (no spoilers!).

I’m just delighted Mandy Patinkin shaved off that damned beard after it was all a wrap.

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