Karl Rove Knows Brain Damage

May 13, 2014

By Cole

Even though nobody knows yet if Hillary Clinton will run for president, Karl Rove’s not wasting any opportunity to get his digs in.

Back in December 2012, when she was secretary of state, Hillary spent 3 days in the hospital having a blood clot dissolved after she sustained a concussion. She left the hospital wearing dark glasses (standard protocol), and continued working.

On May 8, before an audience in Los Angeles, Rove implied that Hillary had suffered a “traumatic brain injury,” which is the clinical term for “brain damage,” although Rove now cravenly denies he was going there.

Hillary has shown no diminished ability to count, as Rove has when he claimed her 3 days in the hospital was 30.

Hillary’s shown no physical impairment, which is more than anyone can say for Rove’s former idol, Dick Cheney, who’s essentially been one of the walking dead, kept alive by artificial means, for years.

By Rove’s standards, the absence of a healthy functioning heart should have disqualified Cheney from office for both terms.

The only one showing signs of mental impairment here is Karl Rove, which White House spokesman Jay Carney aptly pointed out, recalling Rove’s inability to grasp that Obama won in 2012.

Every time Rove opens his mouth, he just reinforces his own irrelevance. If you stood him alone in a forest spouting lies, nobody would hear him.


Republicans Refuse to Leave La-La Land

November 15, 2012

By Cole

From the depths of his election-loss funk, Mitt Romney emerged for a conference call with wealthy donors who squandered big bucks on him and explained that Obama won because he gave so many “gifts” to young people, blacks, women, and Hispanics during his first term.

In RomneyWorld, any act that could give a non-millionaire a little financial relief or healthcare security is a “gift.”

If there’s any lingering doubt that Romney would have presided over the ritual rape and pillaging of the “have nots” so his fellow “haves” could have even more, this should erase it.

According to Romney, if you’re not rich, you deserve NOTHING. You’re a MOOCH.

It’s amazing Romney didn’t include the elderly on Obama’s gift list.

Oh, wait… wasn’t it George W. Bush who closed the donut hole on Medicare prescription drugs for them without having any way to pay for it?

Can’t go there.

And Romney’s faithful running mate, Lyin’ Paul Ryan, has been regretting that Obama got so much support in the most densely populated areas of the country — where the people are.

If cows and cornstalks could vote, Ryan would certainly be VP-elect now.

GOP denial began with Karl Rove’s meltdown election night when Ohio went to Obama. It was like Rove knew the voting there was rigged in Romney’s favor.

And John McCain, in what increasingly appears to be the onset of dementia, has been tottering through the morning shows, still blaming Obama for the attack on the Libyan Embassy and using it as an excuse to reject Susan Rice as the next Secretary of State. Like either of them had any direct control or knowledge on any of it.

Even though decisively defeated, Republicans are making it clear they have NO intention of pulling their heads from their asses and moving on with business. They want the world to see that their hatred of black cats and people of modest means runs really deep.

We should thank the 3.5 MILLION voters who denied Romney the Oval Office, because every time Romney opens his mouth, he still proves they did the right thing.


Dear Mitt…

November 8, 2012

So you got a pink slip after 6 years of pouring your heart and soul into the job of running for president. It’s like the voters shut down your vote factory. Bummer.

(Photo – ABC News)

Even worse, the “undeserving” black cat and his zany sidekick won — without an Etch-a-Sketch. Their party didn’t even have any schemes to keep people out of the polls and disqualify votes.

But their party also didn’t show contempt for women who want birth control and equal pay, minorities who don’t “self-deport,” the elderly who collect Medicare and Social Security they worked their whole lives to pay for, and that pesky 47% you think are lying in the gutter waiting for government handouts.

When you add all those people together, it’s a wonder you got as many votes as you did.

So now you’re “between jobs.” If you get tired of watching your kids spawn the next generation of Romneys (just read No. 19 is on the way) or hanging out at your many homes, you and Ann could take a vacation to Switzerland or the Caymans and visit your money. You don’t think U.S. banks are good enough to hold it, so it was pretty ironic of you to expect voters to bank on you.

If there’s any consolation, perhaps it’s that you’ve given parents a great example to use for scaring their kids…

“If you keep saying you believe one thing one day, then deny it and say the opposite the next day, nobody will ever trust you, and you’ll grow up to be a loser like Mitt Romney.”

I’m sure becoming an unemployment statistic must gripe your soul, so maybe you could reapply at Bain Capital.

You’ve been saying every minute for the past 2 years that the economy is in the toilet, so it should be easy to find scads more companies to kick while they’re down until they’re dead and feather your nest even plushier.

Or maybe you could bone up on history. Particularly the era of 2000-2008 when the president whose name you never speak sent this country into its current tailspin with the ruinous ideas you still embrace. Maybe he holds the answer as to why you failed to persuade enough voters to screw themselves by electing you.

As they say, “Those who don’t learn from the past are doomed to repeat it.”

But in all fairness, George Bush’s family had a well-oiled cheating operation that ensured he could never “lose.”

It looks like Karl Rove must have dropped the ball in Ohio for you. To see how vehemently he refuted the results on Fox News, Rove seemed to know Ohio was supposed to go down differently.

I bet you weren’t planning to prove the truth of another cliché, “Cheaters never prosper.”

Uncle Sam may let you slither through loopholes to cheat on your taxes, but the country just couldn’t let you lie and cheat your way into the White House.

God Bless America.

Sincerely,
Cole


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