Ann Curry Not Today Show’s Problem

June 25, 2012

By Adele

I’ve been watching the Today Show since I was a kitten, and it’s been going downhill for years. But this hatchet job on Ann Curry is the last straw. Can you say…

Hello, Good Morning America!

You know things are bad when I’m driven into the arms of Oprah’s BFF, Gayle King.

Reportedly, they’re paying Ann Curry $10 million to take a mid-contract hike, blaming her for Today’s sagging ratings.

But the NBC suits seem conflicted on how Ann is single-handedly destroying the show. They do agree she makes a dandy scapegoat.

To stroke Matt Lauer’s massive ego, Ann has dumbed it down and smiled through cringe-worthy drivel they keep throwing at her. I’d like to see her go back to serious news. She’s more of a Christiane Amanpour type anyway.

And here are some suggestions for NBC to salvage Today

  • Cut the inter-cast banter. They should take a backseat to the news.
  • Tell the cast to SHUT UP and let guests answer interview questions (Meredith Vieira was the worst; nobody could get a word in).
  • Present actual news. Too often, what comprises a “story” is nothing but reiterated teaser fluff. You make viewers wait and wait…and wait to FINALLY see stories, but too often our reaction is, “That’s IT?”
  • Speaking of teasers, cut the BS “Up next, but first…,” and “Straight ahead, after this…” The delays are maddening, and you usually pull a bait and switch and don’t even show the next freaking story next. Say a story is “coming right up” and mean it, damn it.
  • Don’t imply you’ve got a live body there, and then air some stale canned footage from last night’s Brian Williams newscast.
  • Accept that 2-3 minutes is not enough time for an interview. When you cut everybody off in mid-sentence for more stupid commercials, you reveal your priorities—and they’re not with interesting content.
  • Screen out everyday yahoos who speak in monosyllables. They’re the interviews from hell.
  • Cut the stupid, obvious questions. We KNOW how somebody who’s lost a limb or a child or survived a catastrophe feels. You don’t need to ask.
  • Just say no to celebrities in their own minds, like Octomom, Kate Gosselin, and the Kardashians. They’re only “famous” because faux-news organizations like you keep them alive.
  • Discontinue cooking segments unless the chefs have enough time to actually cook a recipe viewers can follow.
  • Fire your panel of so-called “professionals” Nobody gives a flying f**k what Star Jones or Donny Deutsch think about anything.
  • Cut that hour with Kathy Lee Gifford and Hoda whatsits. They give washed-up, middle-aged drunks a bad name.

Ann Curry, take the money and run. You were too good for those self-centered rat-bastards. When GMA mops up in the next ratings sweep using Today as a Swiffer, you’ll have the last laugh.


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