Rand Paul Can’t Tell a Predator from a Paramour

January 27, 2014

By Adele

That pinging sound you hear is Rand Paul’s loose screws hitting the floor. Yesterday on NBC’s Meet the Press, Paul told David Gregory he thinks that Republicans’ chronic misogyny is being overstated because Bill Clinton had a “predatory” affair with Monica Lewinsky back in 1995-97 when she was only 20.

Maybe it was an honest mistake that Paul tried to paint Monica as barely past jail bait, when she was actually 22. But we know that’s what Republicans do with easily provable facts — ignore them.

Paul went on to say that although it wasn’t Hillary’s fault, Bill’s affair should be OK to use against her if she runs for president in 2016.

In Paul’s telling, the Clinton-Lewinsky encounter was a one-off where Bill pounced on her like a total perv in — gasp! — “his office”!! Paul repeats the location several times. Watch him spout this nonsense with your own eyes.

By Monica’s account, it was an ongoing, consensual relationship. Oops, there’s another pesky fact to ignore.

If Bill Clinton had a problem with women, it was that he liked them TOO MUCH, and he was too eager to get hands-on with it. Clinton’s administration didn’t make a hobby of cooking up ways to disenfranchise women.

Bill may have liked to see women strip off their clothes, but he wasn’t into stripping them of their rights.

On the other hand, too many male Republican politicians like to sit in their offices and dream about all the pregnant women seeking abortions they’d like to see first being penetrated during medically needless transvaginal ultrasound procedures.

Or being raped and forced to bear their attacker’s baby if they get pregnant. Or spending their reproductive years popping out a baby every 9 months because they have no access to birth control.

Who sounds pervier now?

If you’ve been reading Cats Working, you may remember I was for Hillary Clinton before I was against her, and I defected because of her response to Bill’s infidelity.

But Rand Paul has catapulted me back onto Hillary’s bandwagon, if only because she’d never go on national TV and pull fake history out of her ass to make nonsensical points to justify indefensible positions.

If Hillary does decide to run, one can only hope Rand Paul is her opponent. It would be such a joy to watch her eviscerate him in a debate — which she undoubtedly could.

Only a walking brain-dead woman (I’m looking at you, Sarah Palin and Ann Coulter) could listen to male Republican trash talk about women and believe they don’t see women as a threat, and are actively scheming to send women back to the Dark Ages at the first opportunity.


Why Investigate Gadhafi’s Death?

October 25, 2011

By Cole

Last week while she was visiting Libya, Hillary Clinton told an audience of students…

“We hope he [Gadhafi] can be captured or killed soon so that you don’t have to fear him any longer.”

She got her wish. Within days, Moammar Gadhafi was dragged out of a drain pipe like a common sewer rat, beaten by the people he’d terrorized for decades while they ignored his pleas for mercy (he’d taught them well), and put of out his misery with a bullet (or several) to the head.

There’s now debate over whether the rebels executed him on the spot, or he bled to death en route to the hospital. His body was seen in an ambulance by Holly Pickett, a freelance photojournalist.

You say tomato, I meow tomahto…

Hillary’s saying she backs a UN investigation into how it all went down.

Why? Who cares? Somebody offed the bad guy. He’s a national hero. You want to put HIM on trial?

You can’t have it both ways, Hillary. You wanted Gadhafi dead, so don’t start acting all concerned now about the circumstances. The world agreed he needed killing. It’s done.

It’s better than paying for his upkeep in prison for years while he just went crazier and used his trial as a stage to deny his greed and atrocities, claim he was still beloved by all, and just piss everybody off even more.

We all know that could only have ended with his execution.

So rather than miring the country for years in the phony game of “Justice for Gadhafi,” he’s history and they can begin RIGHT NOW to rebuild the country.

NATO and the UN should just let the sleeping dog lie.

Decoding McCain’s Latest Palin Whopper

September 22, 2008

By Adele

Whenever McCain talks about Sarah Palin, his breathtakingly unqualified running mate, be prepared to catch your jaw when it drops. This morning, he told The Today Show that Palin is “the most popular governor in the country” because she has an 80% approval rating.

Alaska only has 670,053 inhabitants. Let’s see… 80% would be 536,042 people.

According to the Census Bureau, the U.S. has 305,224,676 people right now. That means exactly one-tenth of one percent (.001756221) of all Americans liked (if they even knew of) Sarah Palin before a blindfolded McCain plucked her from his Rolodex.

To put it in sharper perspective, 18% in a June Harris Poll thought Dick Cheney was doing an excellent or good job. That’s 54,940,441 – nearly 55 million people – who love Mr. Evil himself.

Luckily, most of Hillary’s supporters haven’t been fooled. Let’s hope Palin inspires such a backlash among intelligent women, she’ll become the reason McCain loses.

For dealing with our myriad, complex problems – created mostly by his own party over the last 8 years – McCain couldn’t have picked a more useless partner.

Palin likes to boast she never “blinks,” too dumb to realize that it leads to dry-eye, blurred vision, and blindness. But it does explain her utter lack of vision on women’s rights and social issues.

Palin has tried to get $750 million in federal handouts for Alaska, like she’s been running some Third-World country. And while she was doing that, Senator McCain didn’t complain or lift a finger to stop it.

Since anointing themselves the angels of “change,” those two clearly haven’t a clue where to begin “cleaning up the swamp in Washington.”

As Hillary Clinton told Florida voters, “Choosing a Republican to clean up this mess is like asking an iceberg to save the Titanic. It is not going to work.”

Hillary, Hone Your Claws on Palin

September 3, 2008

By Adele

I may not have thought Hillary Clinton was the best option for president, but I’m spitting mad they’re presenting Sarah Palin as the way to avenge Hillary’s defeat.

The only thing the two women share is gender. Palin’s regressive thinking makes her the anti-Hillary.

Hillary realized long ago you can’t have it all: a litter of youngsters, a highly successful husband, and a powerful job of your own. She guided Chelsea well on finishing college, getting married, and having babies – in that order – lessons Bristol Palin apparently missed.

It surprised everyone when Sarah Palin suddenly turned up pregnant for the 5th time at age 43. She claims she knew early on that the baby had problems (Down Syndrome), but still gave a 30-minute speech in Texas and flew home after her water broke. Then she delivered a month prematurely and skipped maternity leave to bond with the baby, opting instead to breastfeed him at work. And as if she hadn’t already dished out enough setbacks to that poor child, she named him Trig – like Roy Roger’s horse.

Anyone would treat a new puppy better than that.

Despite her own disregard for motherhood’s responsibilities, Palin’s anti-abortion and claims each life is precious. She’s also pro-death penalty and sees no disconnect between her positions. “Bear them today so we can kill them tomorrow,” is her motto – literally.

Palin has a dead grizzly as a throw on her office sofa. (Photo - grizzlybay.org)

Palin has a dead grizzly as a throw on her office sofa. (Photo - grizzlybay.org)

Unlike Hillary, Sarah Palin represents Mrs. Redneck America – a premenopausal grandmother-to-be with a quaint, outdated hairdo who loves guns and killing animals, believes that God should run the country and Jesus declares wars, and is bursting with pride that her son’s gone off to become cannon fodder in Iraq and her teenage daughter has a shotgun wedding coming up. Throw in her puny experience governing a relatively unpopulated state and utter lack of exposure to other countries and cultures and she makes Obama look like Winston Churchill.

If Hillary really wants to help Obama win, she should go after Sarah Palin like she’s a new scratching post.

OK, Hillary, You Can Stop Running Now

August 27, 2008

By Adele

Hillary Clinton did a great job of exciting the crowd at the Democratic convention – after she finished reminiscing about her own failed campaign and remembered Obama.

She proclaimed herself a proud mother, Democrat, Senator, American, and human female carbon-based life form. Everything but a proud wife, even as her husband beamed at her from the audience like Henry Higgins watching Eliza Doolittle ace the Embassy Ball.

Hillary’s comments about women’s struggles for equal rights seemed ironic after Michele Obama had to dumb herself down to seem more likable and non-threatening. The Obama camp is apparently catering to voters who can only accept Michele as first lady if she becomes the black version of Stepford Wife Laura Bush.

Even as Hillary said Obama is her candidate, the subtext was still, “Because I’m not the candidate.” She never went so far as to instruct her sycophants to support Obama, but merely implied that they should follow her lead.

So why does she still want her name up for the nomination? Why have her delegates waste their vote in an empty symbolic gesture that she herself considers moot?

By sending such mixed messages, Hillary still has some women swearing they’ll vote for John McCain out of spite.

Yeah, that’ll really show the Obamas. Let McCain get a few more neocon wackos on the Supreme Court so personal freedom can become a distant memory, and “equality” will come to mean only that anyone can carry a gun.

If the Clintons think they’ve hatched some brilliant Machiavellian scheme to set Hillary up for 2012, she’s doomed to fail even if she pulls it off. Following Bush’s lead, McCain will inflict more damage here and abroad in 4 years than Hillary or any other Democrat will be able to reverse in the following 8.

Thanks to Hillary’s ego and duplicity, McCain’s now free to pick a rotting corpse as his VP. He’s already sewn up a nice percentage of the hopelessly stupid vote.

Hillary Supporters, Grow Up, Get Over It

August 15, 2008

By Adele

Like Hillary Clinton, I was the lone white female trying to prevail over black and white male cats during the presidential primary season. We both failed.

Reuters photo

Reuters photo

Since Obama clinched the nomination, Yul’s been rubbing my nose in it. Poor Fred’s still washing the egg off his face after learning his boy Edwards is an inept tomcat.

I stuck with Hillary until she showed me she’s not the best option. Enough humans apparently agreed with me.

But since some of Hillary’s supporters won’t let go, she’s going to be pointlessly up for nomination at the convention.

While feigning graciousness, saying she’ll vote for Obama herself, Hillary has been encouraging her supporters to stir up trouble and oppose him by telling them they need to be “heard.”

They were heard. There just weren’t enough of them.

The Clintons have finessed prime-time speeches for themselves so they can foster the notion that they’re somehow letting Obama be the candidate. It’s a wonder Hillary didn’t demand that Obama lick her shoes.

What they’re really doing is wasting everybody’s time with a pathetic, greedy grab at the limelight, and giving Republicans unwarranted hope that McCain has a chance in November because the Democrats are too fractured.

Hillary’s stupid supporters who plan anti-Obama demonstrations should forget it, unless what they now want in the White House is an old dog who will keep us at war with somebody and do nothing for women but set them back a hundred years.

John Edwards Makes a Lousy Tomcat

August 10, 2008

By Fred

John Edwards, what the hell were you thinking?

The National Enquirer has proven again, “You can’t fool all the people all the time.” Who would have guessed that John Edwards’ secret erotic fantasies would materialize as a divorced, opportunistic flake named Lisa Druck aka Rielle Hunter?

Rielle Hunter - AP photo

Rielle Hunter - AP photo

The only thing about this whole mess that seems in character for him is his naïvete in letting her be responsible for birth control.

Apparently, it flattered him to have this New Age nut job with no video experience follow him around with a camera to show his “other side” (whatever that was supposed to be) on YouTube. It never occurred to him that she might be desperately seeking the 15 minutes of fame which had eluded her for 40 years, and that having a presidential candidate’s love child was the big break she’d been looking for.

Edwards denies he’s the child’s father, although he’s willing to take a paternity test, claiming the affair was long over before she ever got pregnant.

If that’s true, then Hunter wasted no time mourning their breakup. Today, she’d rather leave her daughter’s birth certificate blank and milk the mystery for all it’s worth, while claiming she wants “privacy.” As long as she maintains any possible link to Edwards, she can pretend she’s “somebody.”

And as if Elizabeth Edwards doesn’t have enough on her plate with cancer, she finds herself on common ground with the woman she gladly vilified on John’s behalf during the primaries – Hillary Clinton.

They’re both proud, card-carrying members of the Stand By Your Man Even When He Doesn’t Deserve It Club.

And if it’s true that Hunter is history and the baby is a stranger, why was Edwards caught just last month sneaking out of Hunter’s room at the Beverly Hilton Hotel at 3 a.m.?

With one giant leap, Edwards has cast himself onto the sleaze pile with Newt Gingrich, Rudy Guliani, Bill Clinton, and John McCain.

Since anyone who bought his campaign rhetoric about truth and honesty in government feel like we’ve been slimed, Rielle Hunter should have plenty of privacy real soon. John Edwards is finished.

Ideal Solution for Obama’s Hillary Problem

June 5, 2008

By Adele

Watching her drag the carcass of her campaign around all week, I’m beginning to wonder if Hillary Clinton is completely unhinged. She seems to think staying in a fog of denial will somehow make Barack Obama roll over and play dead.

But we know that if Obama offers Hillary the No. 2 spot on his ticket, he’ll have to sleep with the light on the whole time he’s in the White House. Putting her a heartbeat away from the presidency would just be tempting fate for something “unfortunate” to happen to him, given the Clintons’ talent for making people disappear.

Barack’s best hope of living to serve two terms is to promise Hillary a seat on the Supreme Court if he wins.

I’m sure Hillary would be thrilled to be deemed Supreme, forever able to hide her thick ankles under judges’ robes. Ruth Bader Ginsberg could retire with a clear conscience, giving up her seat to a fellow liberal and a woman, and the current balance of power would remain stable to keep the Republicans quiet.

On the court, Hillary could indulge her penchant for mud-wrestling, regularly getting down and dirty with world-class chauvinists like Clarence Thomas and Antonin Scalia. Now and then, she might even manage to keep them from setting the country back a hundred years.

With Hillary permanently sidelined from campaigning, the Democratic party wouldn’t have to worry about Clintons stirring up any more trouble – unless Chelsea someday enters politics. But that wouldn’t be for years because Chelsea has to get comfortable talking to the media first.

Obama, RUN from Hillary

June 4, 2008

By Yul

Obama probably knows his worst nightmare would be the “dream” ticket some are clamoring for, now that he’s won the nomination. The last pals he needs are Hillary and Bill Clinton.

There’s no escaping them as a package deal. Everyone knows they’d never let Barack live in the big house while they play second fiddle. They’ll be plotting his downfall — preferably sooner than later.

Hillary’s desire to sink Obama since he first became a serious contender runs deep. When it became mathematically impossible for her to win, she tried to cheat her way in using Michigan. Those poor schmucks had no other choice but her on their ballot — because she defied her party’s order to remove herself.

By pigheadedly running a race she clearly lost, she’s done nothing but make McCain look reasonable. If she helps McCain win in November, she thinks it will make her a shoo-in for 2012.

Now she only wants on the ticket so she and Bill can start “mentoring” Obama. Mentoring in Clinton-speak means seizing every opportunity to steal Obama’s limelight, undermining his decisions, and making him look like as big a fool as George Bush.

I think Hillary would even have the audacity as vice president to run against an incumbent Obama in 2012 instead of politely waiting her turn.

It’s clear even to a cat like me that Hillary wants to play both ends against the middle. I hope Obama withstands the pressure and picks anyone else as his running mate.

The only thing Hillary offers besides backseat driving lessons from Bill is a following of bigots and other stupid people she’s encouraged to reject a black president.

If Hillary’s fans really think McCain would be preferable to Obama, and she lets them throw another election to the Republicans so she can play St. Hillary and “save” them in 2012, then she’ll just remove any doubt that she places personal power above all else.

Hillary’s Plot to Kill Obama

May 28, 2008

By Adele

I think Hillary using Robert Kennedy’s assassination to justify her continued campaigning was a Freudian slip revealing her “kill Obama” fantasy.

A gun probably wouldn’t be her weapon of choice, but then again, you never know what the Clintons might do, especially if they think they can get away with it.

A burning desire to destroy Obama is the only logical explanation for Hillary’s refusal to accept the math. According to Tim Russert and many others, she can’t win enough remaining delegates to cinch the nomination. So she must be expecting some career-ending “accident” to take out Obama, allowing her to step in and “save” the Democrats.

We’ve seen Hillary getting misty-eyed for women (she fooled me with that one), chugging boilermakers with the boys and, most recently, telling Puerto Rican churchgoers that faith fuels her impossible quest.

About the only thing we haven’t seen is Hillary on her knees servicing superdelegates – à la Monica Lewinsky – to earn their support.

She obviously hates Obama so much, she’ll do anything to stop him. Why else would she continue to dog him so John McCain can play the dignified elder statesman watching two pigs mud-wrestle?

Russert says the race is over next Tuesday, when Obama will have enough delegates. That is, unless Hillary ups the ante by pulling the fifth ace out of her sleeve and somehow getting her rule-breaking Michigan and Florida delegates fully reinstated.

Hillary’s core supporters are older white woman and – let’s put it bluntly – stupid people. According to her, they should be the deciders. Forget Obama’s more educated supporters and all the progressive-thinking, less judgmental young people he’s attracted into politics for the first time.

Since Hillary’s grip on reality is growing more tenuous every day and no one knows when she might snap and try to act out her fantasy, Obama should consider beefing up security and getting a restraining order.


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