Chapter 107: COVID Chronicles

July 13, 2020

By Karen

Day 124

Max, My Guinea Pig & Trump v. John Adams

He keeps topping himself, but in Trump’s most ridiculous assertion to date, he predicts that all media (social, print and TV) will wither and die under Joe Biden because Biden would get “low ratings.”

After three+ years of whining and screaming about wanting “the enemy of the people,” The New York Times, The Washington Post and CNN, out of business, Trump in his dementia has the nerve to claim credit for their markets. Like we all want All-Trump-24/7. The narcissism and madness have reached another galaxy.

Trump played golf this past weekend and had a big white van parked near the course to block photographers’ view. But someone managed to capture this priceless little clip of Lard-Ass’s steadily advancing meltdown. Watch his left leg as he walks away (hope this works, I just figured out how to embed tweets)…

There’s NO WAY to rationalize that leg splay as anything but involuntary lack of muscle control (or a twisted diaper). Now, if only COVID would catch up with him. Even #MoscowMitch McConnell is getting cold feet about breathing COVID fumes in Jacksonville during the GOP convention, with Florida smashing through all records for new daily COVID cases, surpassing 15,000 on July 12.

NOW, TO THE CAT BEAT: Yesterday I washed the purple blankie that has been Max and Roc’s battleground at the end of the couch. To figure out what Max is really fixated on — the couch or the blankie — I switched it with the pink blankie from the rocker. Max has never had a problem with it. In fact, it was his favorite spot last Christmas…

My hypothesis: Max would either prove that what covers the couch is irrelevant and it’s a turf war, or he’d go to the rocker because his real love is the purple blankie.

So, I invited Max to sit beside me on the couch. When he noticed that his end looked different, he not only refused to touch the pink blanket, but seemed a bit agitated. After I swapped things back, Max went right over to his spot and plopped down.

Bottom line: It’s the couch AND the purple blankie.

ANOTHER SCIENTIFIC BREAKTHROUGH: I’ve discovered how not to have Trump be my last thought at night (leading to nightmares), or my first shriek of despair in the morning.

While I was watching the musical 1776 last week, I had an urge to learn everything about John Adams. We were born roughly 42 miles apart in Massachusetts, so he’s my people. I ordered a used but pristine copy of David McCullough’s mammoth Pulitzer Prize-winning biography, John Adams, for $7, including shipping.

Last night I started reading it before bed, and I’m already hooked. Adams was only about 5’7” or 8” and many found him mouthy and obnoxious. He was considered a conservative, but had many liberal positions like anti-slavery. As a person, he was virtually Trump’s opposite. For example, only one wife, Abigail, and their voluminous correspondence is hard evidence that they had a strong, loving 54-year marriage.

Anyway, I went to sleep trying to picture the Adams farm in Braintree, and woke up still thinking about Adams.

Just as in 2001, after I heard George W. Bush refer to the 9/11 terrorists “the folks who did this” and immediately drove to Charlottesville to visit Monticello and be near  Thomas Jefferson, I think Adams will take the edge off Trump through the election.

Well, after I hit “Pause” tomorrow to read Mary Trump’s damning book about Uncle Donald, Too Much and Never Enough.

 


GOP Convention: A Confederacy of Dunces

August 30, 2012

By Cole

The glassy-eyed, brain-dead fanatics on the floor of the Republican convention fascinate me. To see them gobble every crumb of verbal crap dispensed from the podium is like watching lemmings wolf down a last meal before they go off a cliff.

They have no idea that every one of them who isn’t a white male millionaire is in for a royal screwing if they get their wish and Romney wins.

In a cynical attempt to seem inclusive that fooled nobody, the GOP assigned U.S. possessions like Puerto Rico, the Virgin Islands, and American Samoa prime seats because their delegations look racially diverse — even though THEIR VOTES DON’T COUNT.

Ann Romney got to address the 32 percent of voters who, in a CBS News poll, claim they don’t know Mitt enough to form an opinion. She delivered a brilliant speech that made her fellow Stepford Wives mist over, and we learned that Mitt was a cutie in high school, but virtually nothing of substance beyond that.

To listen to Ann’s litany of lovingly empty claims…

  • Mitt loves his country (but not enough to stop dodging taxes)
  • Mitt won’t let you down (unless he does — he’s prone to change his mind a lot)
  • Mitt will get the job done (if he doesn’t eliminate or outsource it)

…was to stuff cotton candy in your ears.

New Jersey Governor Chris Christie’s keynote address showcased him to the country as a pompous gasbag with life-threatening eating issues who probably won’t survive to run for president in 2020 if Romney wins and serves 2 terms.

They’re saying Condoleezza Rice’s rousing speech — and the only one to acknowledge the importance of education — will win her a seat in Romney’s cabinet. Let’s hope it’s his china cabinet back at Lake Winnipesaukee.

ALL of them have erased the George W. Bush years off the slate. They’re in total denial that the ruinous ideology Bush lived by, and they still embrace, started this country’s flush down the toilet.

And then they have the bloody nerve to accuse Obama of failing to stop it when all they want to do is KEEP FLUSHING.

But by far, the whopper topper was Paul Ryan’s Obama-bashing marathon. It was so jam-packed with deceit and deception, Karen could barely stop screaming at the TV. I won’t rehash it because a Fox News writer named Sally Kohn did it so well.

You know your lies have jumped the shark when even Faux News is crying foul.

From now until election day, the Republican strategy is to continue repeating the same thoroughly discredited lies (such as, Obama has eliminated the work requirement from welfare) and hope enough stupid, unquestioning voters believe them.

Tonight Romney’s got to pull off the grand deception of seeming like a credible, affable, empathetic, and competent man with a plan.

After his department-store-dummy reaction while Chris Christie was heaping praise on him like whipped cream on a banana split, I don’t think Romney’s got a prayer — or a clue.


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