Another Rebel Bites the Dust & Throwing in the Towel on Chives
Remember the other day I showed you the statue of the Confederacy’s one and only president, Jefferson Davis?…
Last night protesters kicked his ass to the curb and threw paint on him…
Presumably, he’s now chilling with Christopher Columbus in some secret storage facility.
That weasel Davis never deserved a statue in the first place. I’ve never had any interest in what happened to Richmond during the Civil War, but lately read an account of how it went down when the Union “invaded” Richmond in April 1865. I was totally shocked, in light of all the Southern butt-hurt I’ve seen over the last 48 years living here. Here’s a quick summary:
When President Davis knew the Yankees were coming, he and his cabinet fled to Danville, leaving orders for Confederate troops to burn munitions and supplies. So the soldiers razed most of the city with the civilians in it. Then they took off, leaving the population homeless, hungry and defenseless.
The mayor of Richmond went to the Union and surrendered, so they quickly arrived, put out the fires and restored order. Abraham Lincoln showed up within a day or two to make sure everything was OK and to order his soldiers to treat the residents with respect.
Around here you can’t swing a cat without hitting a Confederate monument. It should keep protesters entertained for months. Last weekend they tore down a statue in Monroe Park of General Williams Carter Wickham, whoever the hell he was…
It’s getting to where if you’ve seen one toppled Confederate, you’ve seen them all, right?
But moving on to the culinary front, I’ve been watching Amy Schumer Learns to Cook on Food Network. Amy’s a comedian now married to chef Chris Fischer.
Cute side note: They had a baby about a year ago they originally named Gene Attell Fischer (to honor comedian Dave Attell). About a month in, they realized “Gene-Attell” (say it fast) probably wasn’t the best choice, so now he’s Gene David.
Anyway, they’ve been quarantined in a lovely chalet on Martha’s Vineyard with a kitchen layout perfect for a cooking show. Amy says Food Network pitched the idea to them. They’re filmed by their nanny and a few strategically placed cameras.
Episodes are an hour long. Amy makes cocktails, occasionally chops, and wisecracks while straight man Chris does the cooking. He’s low-key, but must have a sense of humor we don’t see because they make an odd couple. They keep the food pretty basic because they’re getting their ingredients on an island during a pandemic.
The chives experiment is down to three stalks and I’m officially done, partly thanks to Tony’s interference. It’s hard to see, so I’ve added cues to point out what he either stomped or knocked over. The poor runts just hated dirt…
And here’s how Tony has behaved toward the pot. Yes, it had contained mouse droppings when I brought it in from the storage room, but that makes what he’s doing here even yuckier…