Did Trump Even Read the Nunes Memo?

February 2, 2018

By Karen

If Donald Trump thinks Devin Nunes’ memo about the big, bad FISA warrants on poor little Carter Page is Trump’s Get Out of Jail Free card, he clearly didn’t read the memo. As well-researched, considered, and compelling documents go, it ranks somewhere between a crock and utter bullshit.

What I don’t get is this: If Trump and circle are all innocent, why are they, and anyone willing to play defense for them, like Nunes, turning themselves inside out denying and deflecting?

If they have committed no crimes, they should be coolly confident that Mueller and his team will come up empty of all counts and conclude the investigation’s been a big nothingburger.

Never mind!

Don’t they see they’re behaving guilty and opening themselves to charges of obstruction of justice, even if there were no crimes?

Let’s cut right to the heart of it, the one major point they have yet to explain away. I’ll state it in the hyperbolic terms Trump loves so much…

No president in American history has ever had so many people around him so cozy with Russians, nor have so many Russians been involved in a president’s activities.

If it’s all good, clean fun, why weren’t they playing with England or France, instead of a country hell-bent on destroying Western-style democracy?

We now know for a FACT (just ask Facebook) that Russia flooded the U.S. with pro-Trump, anti-Clinton propaganda. If Trump’s people had nothing to do with that, why are their fingerprints all over the place?

And let’s not forget the tax returns Trump’s been so rabidly hiding. Would H&R Block vouch for them, or do they show a damning history of money laundering, tax evasion and fraud? And since he’s been president, what about Trump’s myriad conflicts of interest with businesses he still owns and profits from?

Trump probably knows his business deals make obstruction of justice the least of his worries. I have no doubt he thinks lucking into the presidency is his financial Get Out of Jail Free card because he mistakenly thinks he’s now above the law.

In the face of Russia and the financial questions, Nunes’ stupid memo as a defense is like spitting into a tidal wave, and now the FBI and DOJ must hate Trump’s guts.

I hope Mueller and his team are working at warp speed to end this madness ASAP. If not, we’ll have to wait until November when voters sweep the Trump enablers out of Congress so the new Democratic majority can begin the impeachment. By then, Trump’s incompetence will undoubtedly provide more grounds than they need.

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Watching Trump Unravel

January 15, 2018

By Karen

Donald Trump delivers his first State of the Union address January 30. It promises to be an epic fact-free brag-fest about his omnipotence and imaginary “accomplishments.”

We’ll get to assess how his mental deterioration is progressing. Trump’s falling apart so fast, last week he couldn’t resist dissing most of black civilization as “shithole countries.”

Republicans limply called his remarks “unfortunate” and “unhelpful.” A few even accused Democratic Senator Dick Durbin, who heard them firsthand and reported them, of lying. That makes zero sense. Durbin was the only Democrat there. Do they really think he’s so stupid, he’d falsely attribute obscenities to Trump and expect to get away with it?

Basically, Trump has thrown Republicans into a deep shithole they’ll never dig themselves out of, because Trump is incapable of salvaging this situation or his presidency.

The AP reported Trump called friends to gauge reaction to his shithole comments. You know he’s scheming some way to top himself now, so let me offer a suggestion for the State of the Union, when the eyes of the country and much of the world will be on him.

During his closing remarks, Trump should quietly drop his pants behind the podium. Then he should fill both his hands with fresh piles of his own steaming shit. Letting loose with a few contemptuous farts while he does it would be a nice touch and disgust Nancy Pelosi.

Then Trump should turn around and throw the shit into the faces of Mike Pence and Paul Ryan, sitting right behind him.

He would wrap up by turning back to face Congress with a self-satisfied smirk. “See? I told you. I can do ANYTHING! And you STILL support me!”

It would be no worse than Trump jerking off on Twitter, jizzing on whichever person or group he’s singled out to bully that day.

Other leaders now step over and around Trump like the orange heap of roadkill he’s made himself by pulling out of every meaningful global initiative.

For the orgasmic flash of godhood Trump gets in those brief moments when he renounces NAFTA, the Paris Climate Accord, the TPP, the UN, NATO, and every other positive collaboration of mankind, he renders himself more useless in the long run.

The world moves on without the U.S. while Trump plays in his little oval office, pretending he’s president by scribbling his name with big black Sharpies.

Republicans have a death wish in persisting to kowtow to the 30-35% comprising Trump’s “base.” Yes, “base” is the perfect word to describe the deliberately ignorant, racist people he attracts.

I’d give them a pass for voting for Trump, but after this past year, if they still refuse to admit that their bloated, piggy-eyed, deranged man-baby is shitting all over civility and decency, they’re dead to me.

My only comfort is a feeling that the end of Trump’s reign of terror will come this year.

Once Mueller starts fingering Don Jr. and Jared Kushner, Trump’s last mental gasket will blow and we’ll see him swinging naked from the chandeliers, bellowing “The Star-Spangled Banner.”

Trump claims Mueller has no reason to question him. It’s been said that Mueller’s got Trump’s taxes, and he knows that if Trump is breathing, he’s lying. What better reinforcement for charges of money laundering and obstruction of justice than perjury? If Trump testifies, perjury’s a slam-dunk.

And if Mueller’s investigation drags on, we’ve got the November midterm elections to look forward to. Republicans who continue enabling Trump are going down in flames. Bring marshmallows.

Once they take back Congress, Democrats will start undoing Trump’s legislative damage and then it’s “Laisser L’Impeachment Rouler!.”

There’s no happy ending here for Trump. He’s toast, and probably has flashes of realizing it whenever he takes a break from kicking over the furniture, trying to escape.

Trying to be a rational, decent American is exhausting right now. But I trust we will be delivered from Donald Trump, his trashy, greedy family, and the duplicitous Republicans who enable them. This evil WILL NOT triumph.


I Think We’re Gonna Need a Bigger Pigsty

November 29, 2017

By Karen

Gayle King seemed visibly shaken to learn that, after years of her unrequited flirting on CBS This Morning, Charlie Rose had been dissing her behind her back by preying on many other women who crossed his path.

Now, NBC has stuck a fork in Matt Lauer. We should have seen it coming. In 2012, Katie Couric said Matt’s most annoying habit was pinching her ass. That same year, Lauer got Ann Curry fired from the Today Show because they lacked “chemistry.”

Curry karma’s a bitch. Turns out Matt’s the one with no chemistry, or his victims would have thanked him, not ratted him out.

Myriad stories of sexual harassment and assault lately feel to me like women’s bubbling rage at Donald Trump, the proud pussy-grabber who treats his current wife like a serf.

But I think we’ve reached a tipping point. The media needs to recognize that not all these tales are created equal. A fanny grab that lasts the length of a camera click is NOT the same as a rape, and the consequences shouldn’t be equal.

We need to permanently quarantine the truly disgusting pigs and give the mere piglets a slap on the rump and a time out.

Pigs are the ones who fantasize that women share their fascination with their penis. They’ll talk about it, display it, fondle it, and use it as a weapon when opportunity presents itself.

Trump has bragged about his penis size.

Trump identifies with and supports fellow pigs like Roy Moore in Alabama because they both have a thing for little girls. With Trump, it was Ivanka. Moore would settle for any child he could force to touch his penis.

Joining them in the sty are Bill Cosby, Harvey Weinstein, Charlie Rose, Louis C.K., Kevin Spacey, probably Matt Lauer, if stories of his affairs prove true.

Piglets are men like George H.W. Bush and Al Franken. No penises involved, just wandering paws that would have recoiled in shame if any of the stupid women whose bums they touched had simply pulled away or said, “Move your hand.”

These women talking about it years later are being treated with the same gravity as women who were aggressively harassed or assaulted. WTF?

Here’s the infamous photo of Franken that supposedly shows him “grabbing” Leeann Tweeden. See the shadows under both of his hands? He’s not even touching her.

Was he being tasteless? Absolutely. Was she being assaulted? Not even close.

The worst thing Franken apparently did was force an unwanted tongue kiss on Tweeden during a USO skit rehearsal. He says he doesn’t remember it like that, but has the chivalry to let Tweeden’s story stand. He even wrote her a personal, sincere apology, which she read and accepted on The View

Tweeden says she doesn’t want Franken to lose his Senate seat over this. So what’s her point? She’s hardly one to advance this cause. She has modeled for Frederick’s of Hollywood and Hooters, was named one of the Top Hooters Girls of All Time, and has posed nude in Playboy.

Basically, Tweeden’s a woman who was fine with men jerking off to pictures of her posing as a piece of meat, but a kiss from Al Franken scarred her for life. Puleez.

So far, Al Franken has been the only man to strike a tone of appropriate guilt and remorse. He’s even saying more women may claim he did something. He’s no fool. He realizes women are out for blood, and no man who’s ever been in the same room with one is safe right now.

Which brings me to the other story that sticks in my craw and happens to involve Anthony Bourdain’s current girlfriend, an Italian actress named Asia Argento.

Argento was the first to tell her story about Harvey Weinstein to The New Yorker. She claims he forced oral sex on her when she was 21 years old, and she feigned enjoyment to make him stop. Must have been an Oscar-worthy performance because Weinstein was in her life for the next five years. She described their consensual intimacy as “one-sided and onanistic,” but he introduced her to his mother, apparently gave her “fur coats and apartments,” and helped pay for her childcare.

The Italian press didn’t buy it. And I’m sorry, but when Argento dated and accepted gifts from Weinstein, unless he held a gun on her, she was more about ambition than victimhood.

Women who spin their brief encounters with public figures into traumas they dared not reveal until a shot at five minutes of fame presented itself come off as opportunistic and muddy the waters for women who actually suffered harm.

Even worse, they don’t help the cause — which is to make men keep their hands, penises, and tongues to themselves and treat women with the respect we deserve.


Virginia to Trump: We’ve Had Enough of You

November 10, 2017

By Karen

My head almost exploded with joy when I saw the election returns here in Virginia. Democrats swept the races for governor, lieutenant governor, attorney general, and many more.

Even better, Democrat Ralph Northam beat Republican Ed Gillespie by 9 POINTS.

I’ve heard a few desperate Republican grumbles about former felons having voting rights, but I doubt Virginia has 233,179 and they’re all registered Democrats. That’s the margin Northam won by.

That said, Virginia still looks pretty red, including my county, but the good news is that a lot of that ground is farms or wilderness.

Washington Post

If Gillespie had won, he’d have replaced current governor Democratic governor, Terry McAuliffe. Trump would be gushing, “Virginia, you love me, you REALLY love me!” even though he lost Virginia to Hillary.

Instead, Trump sulked, tweeting, “Ed Gillespie worked hard but did not embrace me or what I stand for,” implying it had nothing to do him.

Steve Bannon spouted similar bullshit. He may be butt-hurt that Gillespie turned down his kind offer to come rally the KKKers and neo-Nazis.

They’re both lying — they both know it — and here’s why.

Ed Gillespie’s opponent in the Republican primary was Corey Stewart.

Stewart fancies himself a southern-fried Trump Mini-Me. He was born and raised in Minnesota, but now embraces the Confederacy, white supremacists, and guns. He served as Virginia chairman of Trump’s campaign but got himself fired after staging an unauthorized pro-Trump demonstration in D.C.

Stewart has previously run for lieutenant governor and senator and lost.

So, if a hardcore Trump-lover like that couldn’t even win the primary, how the hell do Republicans get off saying Gillespie wasn’t Trumpy ENOUGH?

Gillespie never had Trump campaign for him except attack-tweets on Northam and a rambling, last-ditch robocall released on election eve. Mike Pence came to Virginia once. Gillespie did run some Trump-like ads I didn’t really watch because they accused Northam of far-fetched garbage like supporting gangs.

In the end, poetic justice was served all around. Eleven Democratic women beat male Republicans in the House of Delegates. Among the winners are two Latinas, an Asian-American, a lesbian, and a transgender woman who sent the 13-term geezer who calls himself Virginia’s “chief homophobe” into retirement.

And a young man named Chris Hurst, who advocates stricter gun control after his girlfriend, a TV news reporter, was gunned down on air, beat a three-term incumbent with an A rating from the NRA.

Good sense and decency triumphed for a change, and things are looking good in Virginia. We have a strong firewall against whatever mayhem Trump tries to unleash before we can get rid of him.

PS: A shout-out to Morgan in New Jersey for replacing toxic Governor Chris Christie with Democrat Phil Murphy.


Will Trump Meet His Match with Asian Jet Lag?

November 3, 2017

By Karen

I love when Donald Trump goes abroad because he becomes somebody else’s problem. When he crosses many time zones, we don’t wake up dreading to see on Twitter the fruits of his potty sessions.

I think Trump’s first (and probably last) jaunt through Asia will wreak such havoc on his mind and body, no one will ever mistake him for a world leader again.

Map – CNN

Tonight, Trump sleeps in Hawaii, which is 6 hours behind Washington. If his usual bedtime is midnight, it will be 6 p.m. there. He could use the extra time to meet those investigators he hired there who supposedly uncovered bombshells about Obama’s real birthplace.

When Trump leaves Hawaii for Japan, his watch hops ahead 19 hours.

In Tokyo on Sunday, local time will be 13 hours ahead of DC. So, if it’s noon at the White House, it’s 1 a.m. the next day for Trump. He may start showing cracks then.

Tuesday, he flies to Seoul, enjoying the same time zone as Tokyo. Then on Wednesday in Beijing, Trump gains an hour. So, 6 p.m. in China is 6 a.m. that day in DC.

Next he’s off to Vietnam, gaining another hour in Da Nang and Hanoi on Friday.

Sunday, he flies to Manila and loses the hour he gained in Vietnam as he meets his soulmate, the Filipino despot Rodrigo Duterte. Trump should be a babbling idiot by then, so it promises to be an interesting conversation.

Heading for home on Monday, Nov. 13, when it feels like noon for Trump, it will be midnight of the previous night back in DC.

If you don’t think all this time-hopping isn’t going to drive our Man-Baby-in-Chief bat-shit, you don’t know Trump.

Holding Trump’s leash the entire time will be his nannies Rex Tillerson, H.R. McMaster, and John Kelly. Ivanka isn’t going, and CNN reports that Melania and Jared Kushner are only scheduled for a portion of the trip.

If the time changes weren’t bad enough, Trump must also navigate Asian cuisine. His caretakers hope to keep him on shoe-leather steaks slathered in ketchup with two scoops of ice cream on the side (hold the chopsticks).

But banquets are planned. China’s president, Xi Jinping, wants to “treat Trump almost like an emperor,” according to CNN. Xi knows the more gold-plated and vulgar he can make Trump’s reception, the warmer their relations will be.

Vietnam also plans a big welcome for Trump and hopes he will explain why he shits on them every chance he gets.

It seems highly unlikely Trump can refuse every Chinese, Japanese, Korean, or Vietnamese dish he’s served without offending someone. On the bright side, more toilet time to catch up on tweeting.

Trump was a gauche boor in Europe earlier this year, where the cultures aren’t such a stretch. In Asia, his potential to be a world-class ass is infinite.

Meanwhile, will Kim Jong Un in North Korea feel like the snubbed kid in the ‘hood and start lobbing missiles in Trump’s direction, just for attention?

Will Trump throw a hissy about “Little Rocket Man” and get Seoul vaporized?

Trump thinks the Mueller investigation is bad, but he’s now got 12 days to tip-toe through a minefield of diplomatic issues he doesn’t understand, while his already-addled brain gets raped by jet lag. And his handlers can’t control Trump’s most deadly weapon — his mouth.

This trip may actually beat Robert Mueller in causing the big orange couch potato’s inevitable and total meltdown.


Trump Condemned Evil in Las Vegas. Evil Laughed.

October 3, 2017

By Karen

We should have expected the Las Vegas massacre when we did nothing about guns after a sick teenager took his mother’s weapons and slaughtered a classroom of little kids, and have come to accept almost-daily mass shootings as normal.

But will 59 killed/527 wounded be the magic “Enough’s enough!” number that finally makes us put a stop to the NRA and its members who think every lunatic has the right to own unlimited assault weapons and ammo?

You won’t hear it from Trump. He couldn’t even muster one sincere word of condolence, relying instead on his teleprompter to describe the Las Vegas attack and to recite, with no apparent irony, “Our unity cannot be shattered by evil, our bonds cannot be broken by violence.”

Fine words, coming from the man who condoned the evil visited upon Charlottesville and who tweets and says whatever stokes divisiveness and violence here and abroad. Watch his response to Las Vegas…

His speechwriters had Trump spout Scripture, but carefully omitted any mention of guns that might be construed as dissing the 2nd Amendment. Go ahead, give God a fit, but whatever you do, don’t upset Wayne LaPierre.

Authorities are frantically trying to determine why the shooting happened. The gunman had no criminal record and apparently no beliefs that would send him over the edge, according to friends and relatives.

I suspect they’re going to find something that links this atrocity directly to Trump’s words or behavior.

There’s a remote chance the gunman was a Trump voter who wanted to take out “Libtards” en masse, but that’s a stretch.

It’s more likely the shooter loathed Trump. No better venue than a country music concert where there might be a high concentration of Trump-loving rubes, a man at the end of his rope might generalize.

Maybe he’d grown sick of watching the world hang on Trump’s every tweet, or Trump’s feeble attempts to ruin as many lives as possible through legislation. Maybe the last straw came when Trump tried to hijack NFL football because he couldn’t stand the players getting TV ratings he had no part of.

I think Trump may be at the center of this simply because of its overwhelming scale. Trump is always claiming that everything he owns or touches is the biggest, best, greatest, most “whatever” in the history of the world.

This gunman, said to be an avid gambler, may have used human lives as chips to call Trump’s bluff and raise him.

The truth will eventually come out. When it does, if an obsession with Trump turns out to be the catalyst, we’ll have to ask ourselves, “Have we had enough yet?” and make Trump answer for the evil he has unleashed by embracing and exploiting people’s most ignorant, selfish, violent, and racist tendencies.


Who Needs Civil War Statues When We Have Trump?

August 17, 2017

By Karen

Donald Trump’s only consistency is that whenever he expresses a reasonable thought, he’s compelled to flip it into something bonkers. He can’t help himself, and nobody seems able to stop him.

His flip-flops on the Charlottesville riots are the latest — perhaps most egregious — examples. In my previous post is video of his first two prepared statements. His ad lib in the first one blaming “many sides” set everyone’s hair on fire. Two days later he tried again and read mean things he clearly didn’t believe about the KKK and neo-Nazis.

Then the very next day, in a berserk press conference on infrastructure, Trump insisted the residents of Charlottesville deserved blame because they didn’t have a permit to repel racists who invaded their city with flaming torches. But then he added that “both” sides have some “fine people.”

Yeah, like those few good Mexicans who slip into the country along with the drug dealers and rapists.

The Washington Post has exposed Trump’s KKK tie by resurrecting how his father Fred was an active member who got arrested at a riot in Queens in 1927.

Trump may resent Charlottesville’s residents for picking on what he sees as his heritage. Any of those white supremacists could have been Dad.

At the end of that press conference, he flipped AGAIN on Charlottesville, bragging about owning a home there and claiming it’s the biggest winery in the United States.

Lies on both counts. The Trump Winery website has this disclaimer, where son Eric makes clear who’s the boss there…

“Trump Winery is a registered trade name of Eric Trump Wine Manufacturing LLC, which is not owned, managed or affiliated with Donald J. Trump, The Trump Organization or any of their affiliates.”

And as of 2016, the winery qualified as the largest vineyard in Virginia by acreage, but it lagged far behind others statewide and nationally in wine production.

And now Trump has weighed in on the one piece he knows NOTHING about — Confederate statues. Unsurprisingly, he wants to keep them because he has no understanding whatsoever of what they signify. He conflated George Washington and Thomas Jefferson, founders of the country, with Robert E. Lee and Stonewall Jackson, who fought to tear it in half for the preservation of slavery.

It’s increasingly clear that the only way to stop attracting Trump’s roaches to the South is to get rid of the bait. Stonewall Jackson’s great-great-grandsons wrote a great letter about his statue on Monument Avenue in Richmond.

They live here and want the statue to go. It’s a must-read.

We could use Charlottesville to take this conversation in a new direction. Rather than dwelling on Trump’s shifty positions and motivations, we should focus on making him answerable for being a racial divider — in addition to his myriad personal conflicts of interest and destructive actions on trade, climate change, and foreign relations.

Yes, I’m talking about impeachment. It’s time to start that discussion.

PS: Richmond just caught a break. The guy who applied for a permit to rally around the Lee statue on Monument Avenue on September 16 withdrew because he doesn’t want the haters to show up.

BONUS: Seth Meyers takes a closer look. #insightful #hilarious


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