Trump Has Already Made Russia Our Greatest Ally

February 21, 2017

By Karen

Just not in the way Trump thinks.

While Trump keeps minions scurrying to mitigate the damage he inflicts daily on himself, Vladmir Putin watches, waits, and compiles a psychological dossier on Trump. When the two men meet face-to-face, we’ll hear Trump being played with such finesse, symphony conductors will melt in puddles of drool.

When Michael Flynn assured Russia’s ambassador that Trump might relax Obama’s sanctions, he actually sabotaged that possibility. If there’s one thing that terrifies congressional Republicans (besides Trump), it’s being perceived as Putin’s puppets.

After firing Flynn, Trump declared Flynn’s call a good idea, and that Trump “would have” ordered it himself (kind of reminds me of OJ Simpson’s book, If I Did It). Trump’s subtext was…

“Never fear, Vladmir, my future BFF. One of your boys had to go because he got caught, but I’ll make this up to you bigly. Trust me.”

Trump then dispatched Mike Pence to Europe, toting the baggage of being misled by Flynn and kept unaware of it by Trump, with orders to spread more lies like manure around the EU to hide Trump’s true intent to screw Western Europe.

Secretly, Pence just keeps smiling, reapplying his lipstick, and waiting in the wings for Mr. DeMille to tell him it’s time for his close-up, as Trump continues hacking an ever-widening path to his impeachment.

Meanwhile, Putin’s been pushing Trump’s buttons one by one — conducting cruise missile tests, buzzing U.S. naval vessels, trolling off our East Coast with his spy ship. He’s exploring what it will take for Trump’s ego to blurt-tweet that his dick is bigger than Vlad’s. So far, Trump has resisted the bait.

Trump naively believes Putin considers him an equally shrewd operator, playboy, and despot. But after a month of watching Trump boast, bully, and bumble, Putin knows the lying orange man-baby will never be a reliable ally, and he’s waiting for America’s disgust to build to a crescendo of cries for Congress to “DO SOMETHING!” about Trump.

But Congress will do nothing. Paul Ryan and Mitch McConnell will wring their hands and make excuses, while John McCain and Lindsey Graham whimper in a corner…

…Until Putin unleashes the damning-beyond-a-doubt dirt he collected on Trump in 2013 when Trump visited Moscow for the Miss Universe pageant.

Russia will force Congress to end Trump’s reign of terror.

You know, after Trump blabbered for years about being president and building Trump Tower Moscow, there’s no way Putin squandered his “golden opportunity” to spy on Trump on Russian soil and gain the upper hand, in case he ever needed it.

Our part in this is to continue mocking and resisting Trump’s idiocy until Putin knows that revealing his hand will bring lasting results.

Don’t cry for Trump. His own behavior makes his downfall inevitable. To have Putin confirm Trump’s probable financial corruption and possible perversity will be the coup de grâce.

The ultimate irony will be when Donald Trump forces Putin to deliver America from evil and, by default, become the most powerful leader on earth.


Let’s Make Laughter Trump’s Downfall

February 14, 2017

By Karen

I’ve been working on a Trump post for over a week, but the never-ending craziness eclipses what I write one minute with something worse the next.

Good news today is that national security advisor Michael Flynn threw himself on history’s trash heap as the Russian tool he’s always been. One down.

Sadly, Kellyanne Conway only got “counseled,” in lieu of the long suspension without pay she deserved, for giving Ivanka Trump a “free commercial” on Fox after Nordstrom abandoned her brand. T.J. Maxx, Marshalls, Neiman-Marcus, Sears, and Kmart are doing likewise. Conflict of interest’s loss.

We’ve got a 70-year-old baby rampaging through the White House in a loaded diaper, screaming for attention however he can get it, and nary an adult in sight with the guts to, literally, change him.

Steve Bannon keeps Trump occupied while Bannon foments World War III by sitting Donald at his desk, shoving a big felt tip in his stubby fist, and providing stacks of important-looking papers to scribble on while fawning toadies watch. Trump holds up his handiwork and everybody admires  his cleverness.

“Look, Donald just made a BIG boom-boom. What a gooooood boy!”

“Look, Donald just made a BIG boom-boom. What a gooooood boy!”

trump-execorder-1

Signing his name illegibly is the only job skill Trump has mastered so far.

Getting himself up to speed on North Korea’s ballistic missile test at Mar-a-Lago last weekend in front of country club diners was just Trump seeing a new opportunity to drop a big, fat presidential boom-boom for all to admire, including Japan’s prime minister.

But it wasn’t quite received that way.

As Trump displays daily his ignorance, arrogance, and disregard for facts, Congress rubber stamps the parade of unqualified ass-clowns Trump calls a cabinet. And Bannon churns out executive orders for Trump to sign without reading so Trump can take the fall when Bannon’s overreach and rookie mistakes go public.

What can concerned citizens do? I say we give Trump the Saturday Night Live treatment.

Laugh at Trump and every scumbag who enables him. Mock them mercilessly. Let Trump and his cronies be greeted everywhere with jeers and boos.

Trump’s a thin-skinned bully who can dish it out but can’t take it. Let’s make him take it from all sides, every minute, every day. The incompetent heads who lose face will start rolling out of the White House after Michael Flynn’s. To slowly, relentlessly waterboard Trump with derisive laughter will erode his sanity like nothing else can.

Watch how Trump made his mark on Scotland. They’ll be dancing in the streets the day we’re rid of him…

Every time we’re forced to listen to an ill-informed flunky spew nonsense, let’s respond with this…

Let’s dissect and reject the tactics of his dedicated lie-spewing machine…

I hope TV networks decide Kellyanne Conway adds nothing to meaningful discourse and stop booking her. Trump may threat-tweet, “See you in court!” but nobody’s First Amendment right to free speech guarantees air time. Let her start a blog.


Trump’s a Product of Poor Potty Training

January 10, 2017

By Karen

Donald Trump’s introduction to the toilet must have been so traumatic it’s influencing all his behavior today. My theory is that Trump’s nannies didn’t praise every boom-boom he made effusively enough to suit him so, as an adult, he wants to force the world to make it up to him.

It would be unseemly and messy for Trump to go around literally dropping deuces for all to admire, although I don’t rule it out in the future as his mind continues to unravel. Right now, his bathroom sessions mostly manifest as tweets.

Trump spends an inordinate time on Twitter. It’s like he’s trying to outdo himself by making every tweet stink more than the last, intended to dazzle and shock and elicit praise for his cleverness.

So far, we’ve seen Trump raise his leg on the established etiquette of quietly getting up to speed on his new job while the current president finishes his term undisturbed. Trump has pissed all over Obama’s recent decisions on Israel, Russia, and Gitmo. He’s sprayed diarrhea in the face of the media and our intelligence agencies. He tries to dominate every news cycle like a petulant brat who can’t stand NOT to be the adults’ center of attention.

He does all this while fomenting the Porta-Potty stench of nepotism, conflicts of interest, and even treason that will hang over Washington for the duration of his term like the rankest aftershave.

Trump obviously believes the more he reeks, the more attention he gets. And if it’s negative, that’s OK. It’s more fodder for his Twitter dumps.

We see Trump strut and preen, smirk and gloat like an evil toddler with a load in his pants, seeking to foul the shoes of the next grownup who crosses him. Just ask Meryl Streep, who decried at the Golden Globes everything Trump stands for…

His closest advisors (his son-in-law?) and billionaire cabinet members — unqualified, lacking appropriate experience, and some even opposed to the very existence of the entities they’ll oversee — are little more than a pile of steaming turds Trump’s shoveling at Congress with glee. We can only hope some get flushed during confirmation hearings.

At this point, it doesn’t matter who you voted for. No rational adult can be watching Trump’s boorish, fact-free, childishly destructive approach to running this country and not be filled with dread.

China already has Trump’s number, and it’s No. 2. To celebrate their upcoming Year of the Rooster, they erected in Taiyuan on Dec. 24 this giant sculpture with Trump’s hairstyle and hand gestures.

© STR/AFP/Getty Images

© STR/AFP/Getty Images


Watching Trump Play at Being President

December 12, 2016

By Karen

Donald Trump and his enablers are radiating crazy with LED intensity. When he isn’t preening for the stream of supplicants vying to be on his cabinet, he’s jetting off to “thank you” rallies where he babbles lies to fawning admirers. Like the Carrier workers in Indiana he duped by inflating the number of jobs not moving to Mexico, so as to appear a bigger savior. To bask in their grateful applause, he lied to 300 people’s faces that their livelihoods were safe.

He hasn’t even been sworn in yet, but he’s already re-elected himself, telling Fox that he’s blowing off daily intelligence briefings because, “I’m, like, a smart person. I don’t have to be told the same thing in the same words every single day for the next eight years.”

And now that the CIA is getting warmer on how Russia tipped the election scales, Trump’s calling their investigation “ridiculous.”

I believe Trump knew what Russia was doing, which was why he kept saying the election was rigged. He was pissed because he didn’t think it was working, until it did. Now he lies that he won “by a landslide” and that those 2.7 million more votes that went to Hillary were “illegal.”

Meanwhile, he may ask the head of ExxonMobil, Rex Tillerson, to be secretary of state. Vladmir Putin once pinned Tillerson with a friendship medal, so who other than Tillerson would more eagerly cover Donald and Vlad’s dirty tracks, whether they lead to ill-gotten votes or corrupt business deals?

Trump’s other cabinet choices look like a lead-footed Dancing with the Stars cast, heavy on Wall Street fat cats he dissed during the campaign, and generals for whom he expressed nothing but contempt. Sprinkled in is cannon fodder — Ben Carson for HUD — who will give Trump his first cue to bellow, “You’re fired!” when Trump needs to distract us from some criminal activity.

Two other light-weights being considered are Sarah Palin for Veterans Affairs (341,000 employees serving nearly 22 MILLION veterans when she couldn’t hack governing 740,000 in Alaska), and Rick Perry for Energy, a department Perry wanted to abolish in 2012.

The emerging pattern is Trump’s intent to head every agency with a person who, if unable to undermine by imposing upon it contradictory ideology, to bring it down through sheer incompetence. Trump must think federal agencies threaten his omnipotence, so they have to be crippled or destroyed.

And conflicts of interest with his businesses and family financial interests already feel ingrained in his every move.

Trump plans to continue as an executive producer of The Apprentice, which compromised all NBC journalists, his co-workers. Kellyanne Conway nonsensically compared Trump’s dabbling in Apprentice to Obama playing golf.

Let’s not forget Trump’s other hobby — cyberbullying private citizens on Twitter.

Carrier union leader Chuck Jones accurately said Trump “lied his ass off” about the number of union jobs he saved, so Trump tweeted that Jones had done a “terrible job” representing workers. That was enough for Trump’s groupies to send Jones death threats.

Consistent with his behavior campaigning, our future president incites violence against private citizens he thinks have crossed him. Does this make him a petty, egomaniacal dictator yet?

The world watches while this ignorant maniac assembles a gaggle of racists, hawks, backward-thinkers and know-nothings destined to sow chaos from the moment he’s inaugurated.

My only consolation is that Melania’s not moving into the White House with him. The longer she stays away, the more I respect her. She knows he’s dragged her in way over her head, and to limit her and her son’s exposure to Trump’s insatiable need to be worshipped can only be a good thing.


Coping with the Trump Transition

November 16, 2016

By Karen

My depression hit rock-bottom last Sunday over Donald Trump’s dominance in the Electoral College. You’ll never hear me say Trump “won” this election because he didn’t. Trump lost the actual vote by 797,724 as of Nov. 15, according to Politico.

To restore my sanity, I’ve made some temporary changes in how I receive news because the thought of Trump holding the reins of this country makes me want to vomit.

I skipped the 60 Minutes interview. The few snippets I couldn’t evade indicated that Trump’s already backpedaling on the wall, deportation, and eliminating Obamacare. I hope his worshippers are keeping score.

I’ve temporarily stopped watching MSNBC. I don’t need Rachel Maddow or Lawrence O’Donnell’s speculations because Trump is telling the media NOTHING. Since Trump and most of his hangers-on have no idea what they’re doing, their course can change from minute to minute. Waiting until things are in place saves some churning.

I’ve stopped watching morning news shows. I only read the newspaper — on paper, not online. Trump’s machinations are easier to handle in print, where I don’t have to hear his voice spewing out of his pink blowhole, nor see his saggy orange face.

Photo - CNBC

Photo – CNBC

I commend Ben Carson for turning down Trump’s offer to become secretary of health and human services or education because he “has no experience running a federal bureaucracy.” I wonder what the hell Carson thought being president entailed, if not presiding over the WHOLE federal bureaucracy?

For now, it’s enough to be outraged that Steve Bannon has become Trump’s Machiavelli. We now know Trump intends to have a grubby, bottom-feeding, hate-mongering racist constantly whispering in his ear. Let’s hope bipartisan outrage makes Trump rethink that decision.

As for the rest of it, I’m waiting to see where the chips fall. Chris Christie seems to be toast. Rudy Giuliani and Newt Gingrich will probably snag positions at their highest levels of incompetence, where they can soon disgrace and embarrass Trump into saying, “You’re fired!”

Trump still clings to Twitter as his best means of communication. By not cooperating with journalists in the least, he’s creating a vacuum they will fill, and it won’t be to Trump’s glory. Meanwhile, the public will grow more fearful and angry with nothing to go on but Trump tweeting lies, empty promises, flip-flops, and attacks on anyone who has ever crossed him.

My most fervent hope at this point is that Inauguration Day is gale-force windy. While Trump is taking the oath of office, may an icy blast blow that orange ferret off his head, letting the whole world see the reality of the vain, arrogant, ignorant buffoon a majority of voters DID NOT choose to be our leader.


Donald Trump’s To-Do List

November 11, 2016

By Max

Right out of the gate, Donald Trump has set a “Do as I Say, Not as I Do” tone for his administration by insisting that his job applicants disclose all their financial dirt while he continues refusing to reveal his own. But there’s way more on his plate if he hopes to make good on all he’s promised. So, instead of composing nasty tweets when he can’t sleep, he’d do better to work on his to-do list…

  • Day 1: Start construction on the “impenetrable, physical, tall, powerful, beautiful wall”
  • Repeal Obamacare — replace w/ “something terrific”
  • Launch investigation to convict & jail Hillary Clinton
  • Send roses to FBI Director James Comey — owe him one
  • Invite Vladmir Putin to tea
  • Tear up trade agreements, incl. NAFTA
  • Withdraw from TPP
  • Hire deportation force to kick out 11 million immigrants — humanely
  • Inspect all mosques — MUST be hiding something
  • Ban Muslims from entering country — terrorists
  • Suspend Syrian refugee program — mooches
  • Order more Stop & Frisk — profiling prevents crime
  • Get torture gear out of storage — need child sizes for terrorists’ families
  • Eliminate crime — shows my concern for everybody
  • Sue New York Times
  • Sue all women I never groped
  • Clone Antonin Scalia at least 2X — 3X just in case
  • Fire & replace most of the generals
  • Bomb ISIS, seize the oil
  • Bring back all manufacturing jobs
  • Place hiring freeze on all federal employees — except ones I’m hiring
  • Revive coal industry — black gold!!!
  • Cancel Paris climate agreement — who needs polar bears
  • Cancel every executive order Obama ever signed — disaster!
  • Cut off payments to UN global warming programs — winter’s coming
  • Pass biggest tax cut since Reagan — wealthy deserve YUGE break
  • Pass amendment for congressional term limits — get rid of bums who didn’t endorse me

But all work and no play will soon exhaust Trump’s tiny attention span, so let’s add in some spice…

  • Defund Planned Parenthood
  • Repeal same-sex marriage
  • Grab a bunch of pussies

Women should line up for that last one, since Trump’s now so much more than a tacky reality-show star.


Does Trump Already Consider Quitting an Option?

November 10, 2016

By Karen

When I first heard it, I was stunned. Now I’m shocked the media hasn’t noted something Trump revealed near the end of his acceptance speech.

He apparently thinks he has an option to throw in the towel if the presidency proves too tough for him. He drops the clue at 15:50…

Here’s the transcript…

“I look very much forward to being your president, and hopefully, at the end of two years or three years or four years, or maybe even eight years, you will say, so many of you worked so hard for us, but you will say that, you will say that that was something that you were really very proud to do.”

His muddled use of pronouns renders the thought nonsensical, but why those time frames? Why wouldn’t a such a relentless braggart say, “After my first hundred days,” or, “After my first year in office”?

It seems clear to me that he’s implying he may consider the job a fait accompli by mid-term. We can only hope.

(Don’t you love how his son Barron, in white tie to Trump’s left, can’t conceal utter boredom throughout the whole speech? Poor kid’s life is about to be thrown into chaos, and they’re forcing him to stay up all night and watch Daddy give his 1,987,999th speech.)

Trump’s ties to Russia throughout his campaign are coming to light, thanks to the Russians themselves.

And as Trump’s unseemly associations continue to be laid barer than Melania at a photo shoot, by Inauguration Day his administration should be ass-deep in alligators in an Oval Office swamp of his making. Trump will soon learn that while a candidate may successfully hide some of his dirt (think income taxes, immigration records), the White House is a glass house.


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