Cheney Shoots Everybody in the Face

August 31, 2011

By Cole

Since he left Washington, former vice president Dick Cheney has been festering in one of his undisclosed locations, composing his memoir, In My Time, a vindictive payback to everybody he thinks has ever wronged him.

Today the book is #1 at (the reader reviews are worth a look). Cheney’s been making the talk show rounds, trying to whip wacko neocons into a reading frenzy so he can supplement his $132K a year from the government and $30 million retirement package from Halliburton with some juicy royalties. (Speculation was that his book advance was around $2 million.)

Cheney spares nobody. He trashes Condoleezza Rice by describing her as naïve and “tearful,” and declares that Colin Powell’s resignation was “for the best,” among other insults.

Powell responded on Face the Nation that Cheney stooped to a lot of “cheap shots,” and by boasting to NBC that “there are gonna be heads exploding all over Washington” over revelations in the book, Cheney “overshot the runway.”

Cheney even flat-out contradicts scenes from George Bush’s memoir. According to Cheney, before Bush was ever the “Decider” on important matters, he checked with Cheney first.

Obviously, Cheney relishes memories of himself as the puppet master.

What the book really reveals, in Cheney’s own words, is that he is a soulless, heartless (literally — he runs on batteries) being (to call him “human” is too kind), capable of unfathomable coldness and cruelty.

On talk shows, he invariably wears that infuriating crooked smirk while reiterating his love for waterboarding and other tortures, and his staunch belief that he was the only one who was ever right. Everybody else was a liar or an idiot. 

And now his pure evil has been forever enshrined in print. I only hope that once his hard-core nut base is exhausted, book sales plummet and Cheney slithers back into his black hole and stays there until his pump fails.

BONUS: An interesting recap of a series of Cheney interviews. Makes you wonder how the guy managed to produce 500+ pages.

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