This Cat’s Purrfect Superbowl

February 4, 2016

By Adele

For starters, we’ve finally learned how high the NFL can count in Roman numerals — XLIX.

(If you have any idea what that number is without a Superbowl attached to it, you must not be a football player. You’re too smart.)

The other day CBS This Morning previewed some Superbowl commercials, including one for Heinz with a herd of “hotdogs” running through a field. What some mutts won’t do for 30 seconds of fame. Sheesh.

Anyway, it reminded me there’s a Superbowl coming and I realized it’s become a vast terrorist organization right on American soil when I saw…

Superbowl 50

An ARABIC number! Why aren’t Donald Trump and Ted Cruz demanding the NFL’s immediate deportation?

Cats Working readers know there’s no love for football here, but this is one Superbowl we can’t ignore because it’s between CATS and HORSES.

OK, they call themselves Panthers and Broncos.

For once, I’d like to see kicked to the sidelines all the concussed humans who prance around in tight little pants while REAL cats and horses play the game.

You’d see so much galloping up and down the field, nobody could keep track of yards.

If any horse had a down, depending on its severity, that horse might have to be put down on the spot. Talk about suspense and violence.

When cats made touchdowns, you’d see true athletes leaping OVER the goal posts.

What you WOULDN’T see is any butt-fondling or players writhing on the ground in big gay heaps. It would be claw vs. hoof competition at its finest.

But, sadly, this Superbowl will be all human again, and it will undoubtedly drag into Downton Abbey, so we won’t be watching.

Cats Working roots for the Panthers, naturally, but won’t hold a grudge if the Broncos win, since some of our best friends wear saddles.


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