Bo Obama’s a Boring Bow-Wow

June 30, 2009

By Cole

First Dog Bo Obama and I have something in common. We’re black and we have 2 white feet. His are in front and mine are in back. But that’s where similarity ends.

Bo posed recently for his official White House portrait on the lawn, which is being distributed on his new baseball card.

(White House Photo - Chuck Kennedy)

(White House Photo - Chuck Kennedy)

And let the merchandising begin…

Bo has a comic book called Puppy Power in which he’s a superhero. Dopey Dog is more like it.

There are already quite a few slapped-together books about him. Ty is selling a Bo Beanie Baby and key chain.

Such fuss over such a dull dog.

Michelle Obama said Bo likes to chew on people’s feet and play with his ball late at night. He also enjoys chewing his toys and eating tomatoes. His favorite pastimes are running and napping.

Ho, hum.

The only intriguing fact about Bo so far is that he’s a Portuguese water dog, but they say he can’t swim. How do they know he doesn’t dog-paddle? It can only mean someone threw him into the deep end of the pool and he sank.

Since Congress loves pretending to work, it’s a wonder they haven’t launched a full investigation.

Jon Stewart tried to make Bo controversial on The Daily Show by claiming he’s openly gay.

Nice try, Jon. But until Bo pees on something or somebody important while the cameras are rolling, he’s non-news.

Let’s hope Mad magazine digs up some real scoop for its book, Bo Confidential: The Secret Files of America’s First Dog, to be released in August.

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