GOP Convention: A Confederacy of Dunces

August 30, 2012

By Cole

The glassy-eyed, brain-dead fanatics on the floor of the Republican convention fascinate me. To see them gobble every crumb of verbal crap dispensed from the podium is like watching lemmings wolf down a last meal before they go off a cliff.

They have no idea that every one of them who isn’t a white male millionaire is in for a royal screwing if they get their wish and Romney wins.

In a cynical attempt to seem inclusive that fooled nobody, the GOP assigned U.S. possessions like Puerto Rico, the Virgin Islands, and American Samoa prime seats because their delegations look racially diverse — even though THEIR VOTES DON’T COUNT.

Ann Romney got to address the 32 percent of voters who, in a CBS News poll, claim they don’t know Mitt enough to form an opinion. She delivered a brilliant speech that made her fellow Stepford Wives mist over, and we learned that Mitt was a cutie in high school, but virtually nothing of substance beyond that.

To listen to Ann’s litany of lovingly empty claims…

  • Mitt loves his country (but not enough to stop dodging taxes)
  • Mitt won’t let you down (unless he does — he’s prone to change his mind a lot)
  • Mitt will get the job done (if he doesn’t eliminate or outsource it)

…was to stuff cotton candy in your ears.

New Jersey Governor Chris Christie’s keynote address showcased him to the country as a pompous gasbag with life-threatening eating issues who probably won’t survive to run for president in 2020 if Romney wins and serves 2 terms.

They’re saying Condoleezza Rice’s rousing speech — and the only one to acknowledge the importance of education — will win her a seat in Romney’s cabinet. Let’s hope it’s his china cabinet back at Lake Winnipesaukee.

ALL of them have erased the George W. Bush years off the slate. They’re in total denial that the ruinous ideology Bush lived by, and they still embrace, started this country’s flush down the toilet.

And then they have the bloody nerve to accuse Obama of failing to stop it when all they want to do is KEEP FLUSHING.

But by far, the whopper topper was Paul Ryan’s Obama-bashing marathon. It was so jam-packed with deceit and deception, Karen could barely stop screaming at the TV. I won’t rehash it because a Fox News writer named Sally Kohn did it so well.

You know your lies have jumped the shark when even Faux News is crying foul.

From now until election day, the Republican strategy is to continue repeating the same thoroughly discredited lies (such as, Obama has eliminated the work requirement from welfare) and hope enough stupid, unquestioning voters believe them.

Tonight Romney’s got to pull off the grand deception of seeming like a credible, affable, empathetic, and competent man with a plan.

After his department-store-dummy reaction while Chris Christie was heaping praise on him like whipped cream on a banana split, I don’t think Romney’s got a prayer — or a clue.

Romney’s Worst Enemy: Innate Secrecy

July 16, 2012

By Cole

Virginia is considered a swing state, so Obama and Romney have been slinging serious mud in TV ads.

Obama accuses Romney of 1) outsourcing jobs, 2) lying about his tenure as CEO of Bain Capital, 3) hiding money in the Caymans, Bermuda, and Switzerland.

Romney says Obama is lying, but Romney has yet to present a single reassuring fact. Romney was raised to be secretive, and it’s worked for him so far.

Mormonism (like Scientology) is a religion steeped in mystery. Catholics, Baptists, Jews, even Buddhists will let you walk into their places of worship and observe.

Not so with Mormons. Ann Romney’s own parents were kept out of her “sealing” (wedding) to Mitt because they weren’t Mormon.

Romney refuses to confirm if he wears Mormon temple garments (underwear). But to be considered a worthy Mormon, he must.

I don’t care about Mitt’s undies, but I think they reveal this pattern:

When Romney won’t own up to something, he’s probably doing or has done it.

SEC papers state Romney ran Bain until 2002. Romney says it was 1999, although he was paid and signing official documents for Bain after that. But if Romney wasn’t CEO, who was? Nobody seems to know.

Bain apparently had idiots submit SEC filings full of personnel errors, and the company operated as a beast without a head for 3 years until Romney decided to run for governor of Massachusetts in 2002 and make a formal break with the firm.

Seriously, would Romney just walk away from the company he built and leave it to founder without leadership?

It sounds like Sarah Palin and Alaska.

When Romney ran Bain, his focus was on profit, not public office. It’s reasonable to assume he didn’t even notice those pesky worker ants he shook out of the failing companies he gobbled up. Those guys never do.

And what did Romney do with his profits? Since we know he paid less than 15% in taxes and refuses to release tax returns before 2010, it’s evident he milked every loophole and dodge to avoid paying his fair share.

I’m not saying Romney’s a criminal. All his actions may be perfectly legal, but they’re morally bankrupt. The last thing the middle class needs is a president lacking the empathy gene.

The biggest secret Romney can’t tell is that he has never given a damn about paying taxes, the deficit, or jobs. He used to care about healthcare, but changed his mind.

Romney’s running for president on ego. He’s probably already made a list of ways to cash in on the title for the rest of his life.

Women, Don’t Let Ann Romney Con You

April 16, 2012

By Adele

Last week, Hilary Rosen got the White House and mama grizzlies’ knickers in a knot when she said on CNN that Ann Romney “never worked a day in her life.”

Rosen could have avoided being shish-kabobbed if she’d just added “outside the home” to be closer to the truth.

Ann Romney’s outside activities seem to have been confined to not-for-profit endeavors and sitting on boards.

Mitt anointed Ann his “expert” on women’s economic concerns. She’s got her finger on the pulse of working women — from one of her Cadillacs, her horses, or any of her several homes — while being supported by her millionaire husband.

(BTW, in January, Mitt said in New Hampshire that poor women don’t deserve to be stay-at-home moms because they need the “dignity” of work. I wonder how he thinks women married to millionaires acquire “dignity?”)

Instead of trying to have it all, Ann Romney chose the June Cleaver path. She laid back, using insufficient birth control, and popped out a litter of 5.

She never ran with the big dogs in Corporate America to learn what she’s worth in hard workplace cash. She’s never had to worry about being fired or laid off and losing her healthcare, being paid less than a man for the same work, or not earning enough to keep her kids in their private schools.

That’s what makes her so QUALIFIED to spout off about women’s financial concerns — NOT.

Face it. Ann’s as eerily out of touch as Mitt. You’d think they both spent the last century sleeping in matching coffins.

It’s a shame Rosen apologized to appease outraged mommies when she was actually DEFENDING the employed ones — the breadwinners who know how much a gallon of gas costs.

No one disputes that staying home with kids is hard work — especially without a nanny, cook, or maid. But at home you ARE the big cheese who calls all the shots. You don’t get fired for screwing up. And you do it all on SOMEONE ELSE’S MONEY.

Instead of seeing Ann “Everywoman” Romney as the hollow façade she is, mothers are rallying around her, even as Ann schemes with her husband to stab them in the back if he wins, denying them basic female healthcare and the right to earn as much as men. Not to mention gutting education and vital programs to help them and their children through hard times.

But the 800-lb. gorilla that NOBODY dares to mention is that this whole brouhaha probably has its roots in the Romneys’ basic Mormon belief in the subservience of women. Do you really think they DON’T see it as doing God’s work to set women’s rights back to the 1800s?

BONUSES: Linda Hirschman’s opinion in the Washington Post.

A male perspective from blogger Bud Meyers.

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