Abortion: Only the Tip of the Real Problem

May 3, 2022

By Karen

A draft opinion by Justice Samuel Alito on the Supreme Court’s still-pending decision on Roe v. Wade has leaked and reveals the expected. The conservative majority (Alito, Thomas, Gorsuch, Kavanaugh, Coney Barrett, maybe Roberts) will allow states once again to force women to carry unwanted pregnancies, or risk death trying to end them.

Meanwhile, sadistic state Republicans across the country are passing draconian laws to severely restrict or ban abortion altogether.

The nightmare is here, so, will women stop whining and start demanding an eye for an eye? Or, a dick for a uterus?

(NOTE: I use “dick” instead of the proper term to avoid an avalanche of porn spam.)

While Republican men have wet dreams about torturing expectant mothers and then starving, neglecting, abusing and using their toddlers for target practice, women seem to be repeating Democrats’ mistake by playing nice. They express outrage on cable news and hold marches and peaceful protests.

Women, wake up. We need to scream and do something about the root cause of abortion: men’s dicks.

Dicks exist only for sperm delivery. OK, sperm and urine. Dickless men would have to sit down to pee like ladies. No biggie.

If not for dicks doing their sperm thing, abortion would be unneeded, legal or otherwise.

Every abortion now in question started with a dick attached to a man.

[“What about in vitro fertilization?” you cleverly ask. Stay focused. Women who get in vitro (Latin for “without dick”) are desperate. They don’t get abortions unless something goes terribly wrong. Those tragic terminations should have another name and are excluded from my discussion.]

Sicko Republicans paint women as inherently evil baby-killers whose lives must be destroyed — even if they were rape or incest victims. Whereas, the real evil is men’s unfettered dick freedom. Nobody’s suggesting the first fucking remedy for that. Not even male birth control.

Female legislators need to grow a pair and write counter-legislation.

How about bills mandating stiff penalties for men who impregnate women against their will, even if they’re married? If the child is born, the woman can sue to ensure financial support for herself and the child for 18 years, even if there’s a divorce.

Or, how about enabling a woman to sue for $10,000 any man who hits on her for unwanted sex that could result in pregnancy?

Call this one #MeToo on Steroids, or a Bounty on Indiscriminate Dicks. If Texas can put a bounty on uteruses, why not?

Men who try to skip out on the court’s ruling against them for any reason are reported, arrested and given the option of vasectomy or chemical castration (their choice) so they can’t offend again.

This is basically TNR (trap-neuter-release) used on feral cat colonies to reduce their numbers, only applied to human men. If enough men skirt their financial penalties, they get neutered, the birth rate drops and abortion eventually becomes moot.

Seem harsh? Think about this:

Most men think of their dicks as instruments of pride, pleasure (or power) over women, not baby-makers. To exterminate men with this attitude would admittedly be extreme, but we can certainly curb their dicks.

While this female-friendly legislation gets debated, women could exercise options some currently ignore, if the numbers fleeing Texas for abortions are any indication. For starters, keep your legs together. If you feel frisky, you can do the job quicker and better yourself and, unless your man has no hands, so can he.

In extreme cases, remember Lorena Bobbitt. She became famous in 1993 for cracking under sexual abuse (and a forced abortion) and castrating her husband. The world would be a lot safer for all women if more wives trained their husbands to sleep with one eye open, or risk waking up looking like a Ken doll.

Women need to get real and get loud about dicks. In addition to legal penalties, we need to ban Viagra, Cialis and whatever other dick-inflating pills they’ve got, as well as pumps, implants and any other pervy devices they use.

If women can’t have abortions, then men need to take responsibility for their role in pregnancy and be punished to the fullest extent if it’s unwanted.

And may every dick on the Supreme Court (including Amy the c*nt) who doesn’t like this solution be damned.


Todd Akin Exposes the American Taliban

August 22, 2012

By Adele

Republicans have made it official: Their platform decrees that EVERY man’s sperm is sacred, including rapists’. If a woman is brutally violated and becomes pregnant, she should have no right to seek an abortion.

What will Republicans think of next — stoning to death women they suspect of adultery?

Missouri Congressman (and Senator wannabe) Todd Akin revealed the logic behind this Republican misogyny.

During a TV interview in St. Louis, Akin calmly and clearly explained how he learned from doctors that woman have a biological mechanism to “shut down” fertilization and avoid pregnancy when they are “legitimately” raped.

Democratic disgust was immediate. Republicans are fuming over having their deeply-rooted ignorance verbalized.

So Akin has apologized for using “the wrong words” and pretends to agree that all rapes are bad.

I think Akin’s only regret is being rightfully called out as a dumbass. He refuses to drop out of the race to unseat Democratic Senator Claire McCaskill. Let’s hope sensible Missouri women do the right thing and crush Akin at the polls.

Since Akin specified “legitimate” (which he now says meant “forcible”) rape, what would he and his ilk consider “illegitimate” rape…

  • A woman trying to escape a control-freak husband, who stalks and assaults her as “just punishment?”
  • A woman who wears a tight, low-cut outfit into a bar and ends up gang-banged on a pool table because “she asked for it?”
  • A little girl who doesn’t move or scream when Daddy climbs into her bed to teach her “how to be a woman?”

Romney’s trying to “distance” himself from Akin’s words, but his running mate Paul Ryan has worked with Akin in Congress on legislation to reproductively hog-tie women permanently.

Paul Ryan believes women should only have abortions if their lives are in danger, but they deserve to bear lifelong consequences for rape or incest.

Akin’s now saying he should continue in the Senate race because he misspoke “one word in one sentence in one day.”

WHICH WORD, TODD? YOUR WHOLE STATEMENT WAS INACCURATE!

Obviously, he still doesn’t get it. And prominent Republicans can pooh-pooh Akin all they want, but their actions — trying to make abortion and birth control crimes, forcing pregnant women to have unnecessary ultrasounds in Virginia — speak louder than words.

They just don’t like any one of their own to admit it.

BONUS: A great blog post on this topic at Forming the Thread.


Laura “Stepford” Bush, the Closet Liberal

May 19, 2010

By Adele

Laura Bush has been making the obligatory talk-show rounds to plug her memoirs, Spoken from the Heart. Since George left office, she hasn’t lost much of that glazed, “Where’s my Prozac?” look, and she’s been talking crazy by Texas standards. (Sarah Palin probably told her it does wonders for book sales.)

(Photo - Amazon.com)

For example, Laura recently told Larry King she believes in gay marriage and a woman’s right to have an abortion.

She said she was asked about abortion on George’s first inauguration day in 2001, and decided not to immediately make waves by disagreeing with him.

And so for the next 8 years, she kept her lip zipped while she was First Lady and her opinions could have mattered, if only to give hope to everyone who thought there was no intelligent life in the Bush White House.

Barbara Bush did the same thing, but she only had to play dumb for 4 years because her husband couldn’t hold on to the job.

Now, who gives a rat’s ass what either of them think about anything?

Laura and Barbara were intelligent women who married into a family of idiots. They kept their compassion and common sense on the back burner while their husbands championed the Republican agenda of denying rights and benefits to anybody who isn’t a rich white guy. The Bush fortune apparently meant a lot more to them than a clear conscience, and saying what they really think now changes nothing.

Laura Bush’s belated empathy is moot. And I’m not even sure I believe her.


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