Kitten Makes a Big Discovery

March 1, 2016

By Roc

Max and Adele disagreed on this because they hate getting wet, but I found the kitty fountain to be almost as fun as playing in the bathroom sink.

For the record, I was 4 months old and everything still seemed new when Karen shot this video. Today I’m 6 months old and my current project is to find out what makes Karen’s shower tick.

 


Apple’s Win Would be Terrorists’ Gain

February 23, 2016

By Karen

Apple’s refusal to help the FBI access San Bernadino mass-murderer Syed Farook’s iPhone is a joke. The world leader in creating innovative devices and software devised this super-tricky password feature that wipes an iPhone clean after 10 failed attempts to get in, and they want us to believe they don’t have the code to bypass it.

Well, I think they do — they just don’t want their customers to know it.

It’s like KFC claiming Colonel Sanders deleted ingredients from his secret formula for delicious fried chicken when he retired from the company, and they’re OK with that.

Apple CEO Tim Cook wrote an open letter to customers to justify Apple’s disingenuous stance. The implication is that Apple employs no one trustworthy enough not to steal the code and use it with evil intent, or sell it to the highest-bidding hacker. It’s just human nature.

It also implies that Apple itself can’t be trusted. Cook writes: “And while the government may argue that its (the code’s) use would be limited to this case, there is no way to guarantee such control.”

Apple’s been given permission to write their code in a closet, slip the results to the FBI through a crack under the door, and then immediately destroy the code.

But Apple thinks it will somehow become a “master key” out in the public domain that anyone may use to hack into any iPhone at any time.

Who could possibly be responsible for that happening except Apple?

It’s the old slippery slope tactic. You know, “If we let gays marry, people will be marrying their dogs next.”

Cook also claims: “The government could extend this breach of privacy and demand that Apple build surveillance software to intercept your messages, access your health records or financial data, track your location, or even access your phone’s microphone or camera without your knowledge.”

Does he really think none of this happens now? My iPad Mini tries to track my location every day.

There’s a supreme irony in Apple fighting to maintain the purity of the very devices its customers use to splash the illustrated minutiae of their lives all over the Internet.

And the government already has access to whatever crumbs are left. Let’s not kid ourselves. The TSA can even fondle your boobs and stick its hands down your pants.

If Tim Cook is allowed to obstruct justice and spit in the faces of the San Bernadino victims’ families, he’ll certainly gain a lock on the terrorist smartphone market. ISIS can rely on Apple’s protection, no matter how many slaughters are coordinated on iPhones.

But if one more dead terrorist turns up with another inviolable iPhone after another domestic massacre, I don’t think it would be remiss for the feds to charge Mr. Cook with aiding terrorists and being an accessory to murder before and after the fact.

 


Could Oprah Eventually Doom Weight Watchers?

February 16, 2016

By Karen

In 2012, I followed Weight Watchers® PointsPlus® system and lost about 50 lbs. Four years later, my scale fluctuates 6-8 lb., but I remain slim enough to wear all my skinny-sized clothes. To this day, I still count points and weigh weekly. Maintaining isn’t easy.

Last year, at Weight Watchers’ invitation, Oprah Winfrey agreed to lose poundage — again — in a grand way. For a $43 million investment, she got a seat on the board and became WW’s spokeswoman.

Now WW stock jumps every time Oprah opens her mouth, whether to insert food or not, and she offsets her weight losses with bank account gains.

In her latest ad, Oprah claims to eat bread “every day.” She’s lost 26 lbs. since August 2015, or about  1-2 lb. a week, eating bread. What bothers me is that she’s shown only from the neck up.

Check out this photo of her on CNBC. Unfortunately, it’s undated, so we don’t know which diet deserves credit, but Oprah certainly looks like she’s lost more than 26 lbs.

Oprah is following a new WW plan called Beyond the Scale, which “focuses on you, not just a number on the scale.”

It’s all about SmartPoints™ and FitPoints™. PointsPlus folks are screwed because our overpriced WW calculators and P+ cookbooks are now obsolete.

WW’s website offers nothing but empty tag lines unless you join, but independent bloggers with access explain the difference in plans. Instead of counting fat, carbs, fiber, and protein on PointsPlus, it’s all about calories, saturated fat, sugars, and protein on SmartPoints.

Bottom line, PointsPlus are rough on fat and carbs. SmartPoints slam you on sugar and saturated fat.

P+ works for me so I won’t switch, and I wish Oprah well. But we all know her dieting history.

Weight Watchers is throwing some big dice and obviously hedging their bets by saying SmartPoints isn’t “all about the scale.”

After Oprah loses the weight, makes the talk show rounds to show off her svelteness and sends the stock on one last big spike, will she become another yo-yo case, like most former members?

I’ve been there myself, joining WW twice before, only to regain all the weight and more. They welcome yo-yos back to their meetings like old friends.

Oprah has never before made the lifelong commitment that’s required for WW. Can she do it now? Or in a year or so, will we see her rebloated on an Enquirer front page, trying to elude the paparazzi (you know, like Kirstie Alley)? If we do, that flushing sound you hear will be the Weight Watchers brand going down the toilet, no matter how they try to spin the points next time.


This Cat’s Purrfect Superbowl

February 4, 2016

By Adele

For starters, we’ve finally learned how high the NFL can count in Roman numerals — XLIX.

(If you have any idea what that number is without a Superbowl attached to it, you must not be a football player. You’re too smart.)

The other day CBS This Morning previewed some Superbowl commercials, including one for Heinz with a herd of “hotdogs” running through a field. What some mutts won’t do for 30 seconds of fame. Sheesh.

Anyway, it reminded me there’s a Superbowl coming and I realized it’s become a vast terrorist organization right on American soil when I saw…

Superbowl 50

An ARABIC number! Why aren’t Donald Trump and Ted Cruz demanding the NFL’s immediate deportation?

Cats Working readers know there’s no love for football here, but this is one Superbowl we can’t ignore because it’s between CATS and HORSES.

OK, they call themselves Panthers and Broncos.

For once, I’d like to see kicked to the sidelines all the concussed humans who prance around in tight little pants while REAL cats and horses play the game.

You’d see so much galloping up and down the field, nobody could keep track of yards.

If any horse had a down, depending on its severity, that horse might have to be put down on the spot. Talk about suspense and violence.

When cats made touchdowns, you’d see true athletes leaping OVER the goal posts.

What you WOULDN’T see is any butt-fondling or players writhing on the ground in big gay heaps. It would be claw vs. hoof competition at its finest.

But, sadly, this Superbowl will be all human again, and it will undoubtedly drag into Downton Abbey, so we won’t be watching.

Cats Working roots for the Panthers, naturally, but won’t hold a grudge if the Broncos win, since some of our best friends wear saddles.


My Kitten Roots are Revealed

January 27, 2016

By Roc

Karen must have cat DNA for curiosity. With each passing day, my reputation for having the greatest charm, energy, personality, and wit grows almost as fast as Donald Trump’s (I’m ignoring hisses from Adele and Max right now), so Karen tried to find out more about my background.

But first let me set the record straight on one important matter, in case I ever run for president: I was born in this country. In fact, I was born in the country. The western corner of Virginia to be exact.

Here’s the rest of my timeline as we knew it…

September 1, 2015 – (approx.) I was born.

November 19 – I was brought with 3 sisters (and possibly my mom) from Happy Tails Animal Rescue in Abingdon, Virginia, to the Richmond Animal League in the big city.

November 20 – I got a butt-shave and was neutered on a day that will live in infamy.

November 21 – Karen adopted me.

So, other than those 3 relatively traumatic, life-changing days in November, the rest was a blank, until…

Karen wrote to Happy Tails to ask if anyone remembered my litter. They did!

My mother must have been a pregnant stray last summer, because a “Good Samaritan” took her in until she had her kittens.

Unfortunately, the good lady couldn’t afford to keep my family, so when we were old enough she took us to Happy Tails, where we stayed a few weeks. We are remembered as being affectionate, playful, and happy for attention.

Karen concluded that I owe my great personality to the Good Samaritan, who must have done everything right during my first crucial weeks (such as, never screamed, vacuumed, or slammed doors on my tail).

Of course, I could have simply told Karen all this, if only she spoke cat.

My birth mom was great as well. She taught me everything I needed to become a successful pet, such as always squat to pee in the litterbox, always use the litterbox, and always use your “inside paws” on your human (no claws!). I hope my mom and sisters found forever homes as nice as mine.

And now for a quick update on my progress. Here I was 2 months ago…

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And this is me today, filling out the cat bed a bit more fully, thanks to my boundless appetite for Fancy Feast , Sheba, and Friskies. I’ve never met a can of cat food I didn’t like. I’m a whisker shy of 5 months old…

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Kitten’s First Christmas a Bit Roc-ky

January 5, 2016

By Roc

Max and Adele are on my tail for being late with this post, but I’ve been recovering from an upper respiratory epidemic that swept through our house right before Christmas, right after I finished helping Karen put up the tree…

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And got good at climbing it (that black hole, lower left, is yours truly)…

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But who could stay mad at this face?

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Adele, then Max, had been sneezing a lot, and then it hit me and laid me low for about 5 days. I felt so lousy, I couldn’t even get into the Christmas spirit when Karen stuck a Santa hat on my head…

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Or even Max’s “Old Blue Eyes” Sinatra chapeau…

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Under the tree was plenty of wrapping paper to be chewed off presents, and colorful bows begging to be removed, but all I wanted to do was to lie under the covers on a hot water bottle…

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Then Karen remembered the humidifier, and the extra moisture it put in the air helped me breathe and bounce back just in time for Santa Kitty. Adele showed me the best spots under the tree to lurk so I could jump out and nip his ankles…

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By Christmas Eve, everyone was feeling better, so we were ready. Karen hung our stockings on the fireplace. (She said Cole loved Christmas, and almost made it, so she hung his stocking one more time)…

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But I must have taken a catnap, because I never caught the first glimpse of Santa Kitty. Oh, he was here, all right. He left us a lot of neat stuff! I got my very own Teddy to cuddle…

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But I have to admit, without a lot of training, Teddy wouldn’t last even one round wrestling with Max…

Teddy also was no match for my new Martha Stewart stick thingy, with interchangeable danglers. Karen couldn’t get it off the cardboard fast enough for me to start playing with it…

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But our all-time favorite toy of the day was the Cat’s Meow. It even got Max’s attention…

(The bird noises in the background are from Video Catnip playing on the TV.)

I played with everything and ate treats until I was plumb tuckered out. My new scratching post was the perfect place to stretch out for a rest…

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BONUS: This video was taken one night, and Karen left the TV playing too loud, but it captures a moment of my daredevil tree acrobatics…

This was my first Christmas ever, so I have nothing to compare it to. All I can say is that it was more fun than sitting in a cage in some shelter joint, and I’m grateful to be here — even if Adele did give me her cold.

The gang at Cats Working wishes all our readers a Happy New Year!

PS: To create this post, we now have a new channel on YouTube called Cats Working. Do with that information what you will. More to come because I’m highly photogenic and Karen’s finally beginning to get a grip on this social media stuff…


Kitten’s First Photo Shoot

December 7, 2015

By Roc

Adele and Max are rudely saying I need to “get my feet wet” with this blogging stuff, since they’ve figured out that my greatest dread in life is getting wet. So here goes…

Last week I came upon a snuggly unoccupied cat bed on top of Karen’s bed and decided to stretch out for a nice, quiet catnap. In no time, who should creep in but Karen and her camera. Her pitiful begging for me to do something cute wore me down because, well, I’m just a little kitty with a big heart…

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But do you have any idea how exhausting it has been to be “on” 24/7 since I got here? After she was unsatisfied with just one shot of my adorableness, I gave her a little cattitude and a tail flick to reveal some shaved baby-butt…

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I’m still counting the days until I can lick “down there” and have my tongue feel fur again. Can’t wait to yak up my first hairball!

But when that pose didn’t do the trick, I tried again…

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I call this intense look “Black Steel.”

But she was still clicking away, so it was time to show her my “Wild and Crazy Guy”…

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Then for shock value, I threw in some full frontal nudity…

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Now I had nothing left, so I pulled the tatters of my dignity together and told her she’d have to take pics of the paw, because the bod was officially bored.

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That finally worked. I’ve gotta have my quality catnaps if I’m ever going to take Max down. He claims he has a “black belt” in Brazilian jiu jitsu, whatever that is. (Nice try to impress me, Max, but I know you’ve been black from neck to ankles since birth. I’m still laughing — and yawning.)

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PS: Karen spent most of yesterday putting up a BIG Christmas tree. Max says she hasn’t done that since 2011 when it was HIS first kitten Christmas here. I had a blast. Stay tuned…

 


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