How Mexico Totally Blew It with Trump

September 1, 2016

By Karen

Lest anyone has forgotten, USA Today published a good run-down of the many ways Donald Trump has disrespected Mexico before he paid a visit there yesterday to piss all over the shoes of President Enrique Pena Nieto.

Nieto’s approval rating in Mexico stands at about 23%, even lower than Trump’s here. The Mexican people hate Trump so much, beating the crap out of him as a pinata has become a popular party game.

So Nieto meets Trump and says later that he told Trump Mexico wouldn’t pay for a wall.

Trump, not hearing what he wanted, claims the wall never came up in the conversation.

It raises questions about Trump’s ability to follow through on any of his boasts about how he’s going to make all the world’s leaders bend to his will. There he was, in a face-off with the guy who’d write the check for his wall, and Trump never even mentioned it?

Then they did a joint news conference, and instead of interrupting Trump and boldly stating, “Hell, no, we’ll never buy you a wall, and we’re not criminals, rapists, and drug-dealers!” before cameras and reporters, Nieto inexplicably stood silent and let Trump run the show.

Remember in the movie, Love, Actually, when Hugh Grant as the British prime minister puts the lecherous, suspiciously Bush-like U.S. president in his place at a press conference? This could have been that moment. Here it is (ignore the subtitles, the audio is in English)…

If Nieto had stood up to Trump, his approval ratings would have instantly soared, and he’d have earned the world’s gratitude. He’d have sent Trump back with his tail between his legs to make his epic foreign policy rant in Arizona that night, with every threat against Mexico thoroughly repudiated and recorded for posterity.

With video testimony from Mexico’s president, if Trump had persisted in his nonsense about getting a free wall on Mexico’s tab and deporting Mexicans along with everyone else, no one could ignore the fact that he’s a racist, raving lunatic.

Nieto could have achieved all that. But he did none of it.

Ireland’s Prime Minister Enda Kenny made Trump blink before a planned visit by saying he would tell Trump in person how racist and dangerous his comments are.

Trump canceled that stop in Ireland because there’s nothing a chicken-shit bully hates worse than being confronted.

Nieto, you had your chance, and you blew it big-time.


Is Donald Trump Walking Into a Mexican Trap?

August 31, 2016

By Karen

We should know the outcome of Trump’s meeting with Mexican President Enrique Peña Nieto today.

Reports on who initiated the meeting conflicted, but I think the only ones giving Trump credit were Trump’s people. The media seems to agree that Nieto invited Trump. Otherwise, why would Nieto host the orange buffoon who spews contempt for Mexico and Mexicans daily?

Mexico’s former president, Vincente Fox, told CNN that 130 million Mexicans don’t like Trump, don’t want him there, and reject his visit. He thinks current President Nieto will be considered a “traitor” if he’s perceived to go soft on Trump.

Not that Nieto has ever expressed any love for Trump. He knows Trump is pulling this publicity stunt to make himself look presidential and tough on Mexicans.

Trump is said to be bringing no reporters, but let’s hope the Mexican press fills the gap, and what goes down spreads worldwide in minutes. To recap the backstory…

Trump has called Mexicans drug dealers and rapists.

He wants to build a wall that he’ll force Mexico to pay billions for, to keep Mexicans out.

He wants to deport all Mexicans who are here illegally.

He wants to renegotiate NAFTA so Mexico gets a raw deal on trade.

And he thinks he’s going to wave his dick around today and show the world it’s bigger than Nieto’s.

Unless Nieto is an idiot, his welcoming party for Trump will be just short of a firing squad. He needs to verbally rip Trump to shreds with words that nobody can spin as “softness.”

It seems Mexico’s tit for tat with Russia in trying to influence our election. Hillary should be thrilled because Mexico has every reason to keep Trump out of the White House. Putin just wants a malleable sap he can control with flattery.

Let’s hope Nieto soundly rejects Trump’s wall, laughs in his face at redoing NAFTA, and defends his people.

This has potential to make Trump look like an even bigger idiot, reducing the cornerstones of his foreign policy to rubble.

It wouldn’t surprise me if Trump cancels his big speech — again.

When the proof of Mexico’s position is on film, what’s Trump going to say? That Nieto agreed with him? Give the world irrefutable proof of his pathological lying?

Nieto, this is your chance to strike a blow for your people and for Americans who have suffered Trump’s ignorant rants against Mexico for a year. Slap the lies and bluster out of him. Stay strong.


UnFoodie’s Secret Crush on Jacques Pepin

August 25, 2016

By Karen

Before Anthony Bourdain’s new cookbook, Appetites, comes out on October 25, I must confess une affaire du tube with Jacques Pépin. Ironically, Bourdain introduced us with a No Reservations segment where Jacques demonstrated proper egg-cracking technique. At the time, I thought he was cracked.

Then everything changed.

PBS has been rerunning three Pépin series: Essential Pepin, More Fast Food My Way, and Heart & Soul. After just a few episodes, I became obsessed and bought the DVDs and companion cookbooks for the latter two series, and all summer I’ve been studying Jacques like a culinary school groupie.

(Essential Pépin is good, but uses more mis en place and time-skipping, which minimize all that’s really involved. In the other two series, Jacques’ cooking is more down-to-earth. Heart & Soul is my favorite. Alas, it’s said to be his last for PBS.)

On weekends, my mother becomes my sous chef. I send her the recipe so she can shop, then I go over and we watch Jacques make it on DVD before we try it.

So far, every dish has turned out well and my parents enjoyed them.

Every time I see Jacques chop an onion, “poetry in motion” pops into my head. I even bought a good chef’s knife and keep it sharp, but I’ll never come close to his dexterity.

Also thanks to Jacques, I now use herbs de Provence.

Unfortunately, no photos, but here are a few dishes I’ve done. Many recipes are available online.

Poulet à la Crème (chicken thighs elevated)

Gloria’s Linguine with Clam Sauce (loved it!)

Corn Soufflé (practicing for a Thanksgiving side)

Asparagus Fans with Mustard Sauce (finally, green sticks get some personality)

Soda Bread (so quick and easy, I’ve made it perfectly twice)

Not only does Jacques explain what he’s doing, but tells how he economizes, appreciates ordinary ingredients (white button mushrooms, for example), and even uses canned goods without getting snarky about it.

Years ago I learned Chinese cooking from Wok with Yan with Stephen Yan (no, not Martin). I also liked Emeril, but can’t say I soaked up any technique or made his dishes.

And then there’s Bourdain. He was never a celebrity chef, though they keep calling him one. He wasn’t famous at Les Halles, and he quit that job when Kitchen Confidential took off. I’ve seen him cook only a handful of times.

That said, he remains my biggest culinary influence. Just watching what he eats and says about food has opened new worlds. I know what mis en place means. I cook more creatively. I ate squid with ink in Lisbon. And now I appreciate top-tier chefs like Eric Ripert and Jacques Pépin and learn technique from them.

I’ve pre-ordered Bourdain’s book Appetites with expectations it’s more user-friendly than his Les Halles Cookbook and will join my two Pépin cookbooks as favorites.

So, thank you, Tony, for putting Jacques Pépin on my radar. And thank you, Jacques, for enriching home cooks by sharing your amazing knowledge with such charm and generosity.

Pepin


Trump’s Faux Remorse Fools No One

August 19, 2016

By Karen

So his campaign managers du jour stuff the word “regret” into Donald Trump’s mouth via teleprompter and he dutifully repeats it — punctuated with a smirk and no mention of which of his myriad insults he regrets…

“Sometimes in the heat of debate and speaking on a multitude of issues, you don’t choose the right words or you say the wrong thing. I have done that. And believe it or not, I regret it — and I do regret it — particularly where it may have caused personal pain.”

Then he tops himself by saying the biggest whopper of all: “And I will always tell you the truth.”

And thinks this is going to make a majority of the voting public go, “Aw, gee, he’s sorry. Now I can vote for him!”

Dream on, demented prince of darkness.

Meanwhile, in cities across the country, a brilliant activist group called INDECLINE erected statues of Trump in the tradition of Michelangelo’s David, titled, The Emperor Has No Balls. They give us a glimpse of what Melania Trump must face every night behind her closed bedroom door. I’m only surprised the figures aren’t a bit more orange.

INDECLINE added, “It is through these sculptures that we leave behind the physical and metaphorical embodiment of the ghastly soul of one of America’s most infamous and reviled politicians.”

And after taking down the statue in New York City, a spokesperson for the Parks & Recreation Department piled on with, “NYC Parks stands firmly against any unpermitted erection in city parks, no matter how small.”

Watch this video on the statue’s construction…

For over a year, we’ve suffered through Trump gleefully dishing out mockery and contempt all around. Now it’s payback time. Trump’s going down in a deluge of universal scorn he inspired, while he watches his impending political doom unfold in sinking poll numbers.

Will he find it humbling and try to mend his ways with any sincerity, or will he take the coward’s way out and implode?


Today is Black Cat Appreciation Day

August 17, 2016

By Max and Roc

No, we are not making this up.

Even though we’ve had a two-legged black cat in the White House for almost eight years, the four-legged type continue to live under the shadow of human brainwashing about how evil we are.

We’re harmless. Just ask Karen. If living with black cats were dangerous, she’d have been dead years ago. Eight of the ten cats she’s adopted in her adult life have been black or black tuxedo. The only two exceptions were Adele and the late, great Fred, both pure white.

If you have a black cat, give him or her extra hugs and treats today. If you’re thinking maybe you’d like to get a cat, go straight to your nearest shelter and take home the blackest cat they have.

It’s a fact that black cats and dogs are the last to be adopted, even though we’re just as loving and we need good homes as much as tabbies and calicos. We may even be smarter because we’ve managed to survive over the centuries in spite of so many people being out to kill us.

For example, Roc will troubleshoot problems with your TV for a reasonable fee.

160410-Roc-FixingTV

And a tuxedo cat like Max makes a perfect plus-one at any elegant soirée.

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We’ve got brains and good looks. Who could ask for anything more?


GOP Gives Trump No Reason to Change

August 15, 2016

By Karen

Republican Senator Susan Collins of Maine last week withdrew her support of Donald Trump, based mainly on three incidents: 1) Trump belittled and mocked a disabled reporter, 2) Trump declared American-born federal Judge Gonzalo Curiel unfit to preside over the Trump University trial because he’s of Mexican descent, and 3) Trump verbally pissed all over the Khans, who sacrificed their son in Iraq.

The list of Trump’s attacks and atrocities is growing so long, so fast, nobody can keep up with it. In a series of recent tweets, he called the same media that has given him billions of dollars’ worth of free exposure “disgusting and corrupt.”

I have to agree. I’m disgusted that every news outlet has thoroughly corrupted itself with 24/7 Trump coverage. There’s no escaping him in print, on TV, or online.

Collins wrote…

“I had hoped that we would see a ‘new’ Donald Trump as a general-election candidate — one who would focus on jobs and the economy, tone down his rhetoric, develop more thoughtful policies and, yes, apologize for ill-tempered rants.”

Many other Republicans rue having no sightings of “new” Trump, even though Trump told CNN back in July, “I am what I am.”

What I don’t understand is why anybody ever thought a smart, decent Trump lurked under his offensive bluster. Throughout his public life, Trump has worn his thin-skinned, arrogant narcissism like a Purple Heart.

For him to feign “newness” in any way is to smear lip gloss on his orange head ferret.

Trump’s had 70 years to perfect the waste of human flesh he is. No number of votes will change him. Even if he tried, he’d drop the act under pressure and revert to type, giving us a deluded, paranoid maniac who can’t handle facts, making decisions that affect this country and the world.

Republicans can’t blame Trump for not re-inventing himself. If they had a shred of decency, they’d blame themselves for enabling him to this point. If they ever hope for redemption, they’d kick Trump to the curb today and let Mike Pence take over (not that he’d win, but… any port in a storm).

BONUS: Kathleen Parker is the first columnist I’ve seen to use the “D” word to explain Trump — dementia — which I said back in June. And she does it using some grounded first-hand experience with the effects of brain damage.


Trump’s Dog-Whistle Call to His Crazies

August 10, 2016

By Karen

It’s becoming an almost-daily ritual: Donald Trump says something utterly indefensible, then blames “dishonest media” for mis-hearing him.

Vladmir Putin must be so proud of his protégé. Trump’s not even elected yet and he’s already plotting how to assassinate political rivals by tapping into this country’s endless supply of guns and the nuts who love shooting them.

It’s hilarious that Trump and his peeps are now trying to spin it that Trump was talking about the “voting clout” of Second Amendment advocates. That makes zero sense.

Hillary Clinton would pick Supreme Court justices AFTER she’s elected. The only recourse gun-owners would then have against her and her judges would be to use their guns.

And if Trump wasn’t referring to someone getting shot, why would he add that it would be a “horrible day”?

Watch this video replay, which focuses on the reaction of the man in red sitting behind Trump. Does he think Trump was talking about voting, or did he hear what the rest of us heard?

Trump claims he’s a member of the NRA, but we only have his word that he actually owns a gun. He told the reporter who asked if he ever uses it that it’s “none of your business.” Why? He brags about everything else, so why wouldn’t he seize the opportunity to boast about the size of his gun and how great he shoots it?

Instead, he keeps repeating that he has a license to carry.

Bottom line: Trump got a license so he could join the NRA and claim a kinship with gun rights extremists, the people most likely to respond to his implied appeals for violence and do his bidding. And then Trump can pretend to be shocked.

The Secret Service tweeted that it’s “aware” of the situation, but they should haul Trump in for questioning with a rubber hose under a hot lamp, like any other lunatic stupid enough to call for a presidential assassination in public.

When we stand by and do nothing to muzzle this maniac, we feed the beast. God only knows to what vile, unthinkable place he’ll lead this country next.

BONUS: This article in Rolling Stone clearly explains Trump’s “dog whistle” strategy.


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