Congress, Face Facts: Trump’s Unhinged

March 22, 2017

By Karen

While FBI Director James Comey gave damning testimony about Donald Trump’s delusion that Obama wiretapped Trump Tower, Trump couldn’t sit quietly in the wings. He inserted himself into the proceedings by live-tweeting.

Like idiots, the committee immediately read Trump’s ravings and tried to make sense of them. When will they learn that Trump’s tweets represent a petulant baby screaming for attention, and he’ll say anything to get it?

The legislative branch (and the media enabling it) need to be adults and tell Trump he’ll be neither seen nor heard until he’s capable of producing factual, coherent thoughts.

Now that Comey has become more threat than ally, don’t be surprised if Comey gets fired, just like Preet Bharara, the New York City U.S. Attorney Trump wanted to keep at first, but canned when watchdog groups requested investigations into Trump’s conflicts of interest.

Remember when Trump claimed he was so rich he didn’t need/want his $400,000 a year presidential salary? Another lie. He’s getting paid, claiming he’ll donate all to charity at year-end. Wouldn’t it be better to donate every payday so he can tweet about that? Instead, he’s giving himself a year’s float for max profits from investing the salary.

Another drain on taxpayers is Ivanka Trump’s new office in the West Wing. She also gets top security clearance. Why? Because, as an ordinary citizen with no diplomatic experience whatsoever, she must be present whenever Trump meets a head of state.

Can’t we just put a shade on Ivanka’s head and call her a lamp?

Trump, the psychopathic toddler, wreaks havoc every waking moment. He isn’t reforming healthcare, he’s letting Paul Ryan destroy it. Trump’s proposed budget is so spiteful, it’s like he’s personally out to screw every person who voted for him.

And helping Trump sow confusion and chaos is his oil-soaked secretary of state and Putin BFF, Rex Tillerson. Tillerson says he’s fine with a 28% budget cut to his gutted State Department because we’ll have “fewer military conflicts” in future.

Out of the other side of his mouth, Tillerson threatens military action against North Korea.

Trump is obsessed with having more Army men, tanks, and guns to play with, oblivious to the fact that the fortune he blows on pointless military buildup and his stupid border wall, to the exclusion of everything else, will bring down, from the inside out, the country he swore to serve.

You know what other country puts its military first while letting everything else go to hell and its people starve and die? North Korea.

Trump’s approval rating is 37%, yet he can still waste more taxpayer money jetting off to some ignorant pocket of this country where morons will cheer him.

When will they wise up? When black gunk flows from their water taps? When they can’t breathe the brown air? When they get cancer and the only hospital has closed — not that they could afford treatment, because the bulk of their income goes to useless health insurance that covers nothing?

Congress needs to subpoena 10 years of Trump’s tax returns. He’s so terrified of anyone seeing them, they must contain enough conflicts of interest and Russian ties to impeach him a dozen times over.

And once Trump’s ass is good and toasty, Putin can pile on his dirt from Trump’s 2013 Miss Universe Pageant visit to Moscow. It’s the last puzzle piece, and Trump will finally be exposed as even more vile than the bloated, arrogant pussy-grabber we already know he is.

Trump himself is leaving us no choice but to cut short his reign of ignorance and terror. What remains to be seen is how much more damage Congress will let the deranged man-baby inflict on us before it steps in and does the right thing.


Trump Has Already Made Russia Our Greatest Ally

February 21, 2017

By Karen

Just not in the way Trump thinks.

While Trump keeps minions scurrying to mitigate the damage he inflicts daily on himself, Vladmir Putin watches, waits, and compiles a psychological dossier on Trump. When the two men meet face-to-face, we’ll hear Trump being played with such finesse, symphony conductors will melt in puddles of drool.

When Michael Flynn assured Russia’s ambassador that Trump might relax Obama’s sanctions, he actually sabotaged that possibility. If there’s one thing that terrifies congressional Republicans (besides Trump), it’s being perceived as Putin’s puppets.

After firing Flynn, Trump declared Flynn’s call a good idea, and that Trump “would have” ordered it himself (kind of reminds me of OJ Simpson’s book, If I Did It). Trump’s subtext was…

“Never fear, Vladmir, my future BFF. One of your boys had to go because he got caught, but I’ll make this up to you bigly. Trust me.”

Trump then dispatched Mike Pence to Europe, toting the baggage of being misled by Flynn and kept unaware of it by Trump, with orders to spread more lies like manure around the EU to hide Trump’s true intent to screw Western Europe.

Secretly, Pence just keeps smiling, reapplying his lipstick, and waiting in the wings for Mr. DeMille to tell him it’s time for his close-up, as Trump continues hacking an ever-widening path to his impeachment.

Meanwhile, Putin’s been pushing Trump’s buttons one by one — conducting cruise missile tests, buzzing U.S. naval vessels, trolling off our East Coast with his spy ship. He’s exploring what it will take for Trump’s ego to blurt-tweet that his dick is bigger than Vlad’s. So far, Trump has resisted the bait.

Trump naively believes Putin considers him an equally shrewd operator, playboy, and despot. But after a month of watching Trump boast, bully, and bumble, Putin knows the lying orange man-baby will never be a reliable ally, and he’s waiting for America’s disgust to build to a crescendo of cries for Congress to “DO SOMETHING!” about Trump.

But Congress will do nothing. Paul Ryan and Mitch McConnell will wring their hands and make excuses, while John McCain and Lindsey Graham whimper in a corner…

…Until Putin unleashes the damning-beyond-a-doubt dirt he collected on Trump in 2013 when Trump visited Moscow for the Miss Universe pageant.

Russia will force Congress to end Trump’s reign of terror.

You know, after Trump blabbered for years about being president and building Trump Tower Moscow, there’s no way Putin squandered his “golden opportunity” to spy on Trump on Russian soil and gain the upper hand, in case he ever needed it.

Our part in this is to continue mocking and resisting Trump’s idiocy until Putin knows that revealing his hand will bring lasting results.

Don’t cry for Trump. His own behavior makes his downfall inevitable. To have Putin confirm Trump’s probable financial corruption and possible perversity will be the coup de grâce.

The ultimate irony will be when Donald Trump forces Putin to deliver America from evil and, by default, become the most powerful leader on earth.


Trump’s a Product of Poor Potty Training

January 10, 2017

By Karen

Donald Trump’s introduction to the toilet must have been so traumatic it’s influencing all his behavior today. My theory is that Trump’s nannies didn’t praise every boom-boom he made effusively enough to suit him so, as an adult, he wants to force the world to make it up to him.

It would be unseemly and messy for Trump to go around literally dropping deuces for all to admire, although I don’t rule it out in the future as his mind continues to unravel. Right now, his bathroom sessions mostly manifest as tweets.

Trump spends an inordinate time on Twitter. It’s like he’s trying to outdo himself by making every tweet stink more than the last, intended to dazzle and shock and elicit praise for his cleverness.

So far, we’ve seen Trump raise his leg on the established etiquette of quietly getting up to speed on his new job while the current president finishes his term undisturbed. Trump has pissed all over Obama’s recent decisions on Israel, Russia, and Gitmo. He’s sprayed diarrhea in the face of the media and our intelligence agencies. He tries to dominate every news cycle like a petulant brat who can’t stand NOT to be the adults’ center of attention.

He does all this while fomenting the Porta-Potty stench of nepotism, conflicts of interest, and even treason that will hang over Washington for the duration of his term like the rankest aftershave.

Trump obviously believes the more he reeks, the more attention he gets. And if it’s negative, that’s OK. It’s more fodder for his Twitter dumps.

We see Trump strut and preen, smirk and gloat like an evil toddler with a load in his pants, seeking to foul the shoes of the next grownup who crosses him. Just ask Meryl Streep, who decried at the Golden Globes everything Trump stands for…

His closest advisors (his son-in-law?) and billionaire cabinet members — unqualified, lacking appropriate experience, and some even opposed to the very existence of the entities they’ll oversee — are little more than a pile of steaming turds Trump’s shoveling at Congress with glee. We can only hope some get flushed during confirmation hearings.

At this point, it doesn’t matter who you voted for. No rational adult can be watching Trump’s boorish, fact-free, childishly destructive approach to running this country and not be filled with dread.

China already has Trump’s number, and it’s No. 2. To celebrate their upcoming Year of the Rooster, they erected in Taiyuan on Dec. 24 this giant sculpture with Trump’s hairstyle and hand gestures.

© STR/AFP/Getty Images

© STR/AFP/Getty Images


Trump v. Clinton Debate is Must-See

September 26, 2016

By Adele

Not because it will be so enthralling, but because it will stand alone in this election. Trump’s campaign has consisted mostly of playing “I’m Rubber, You’re Glue,” turning EVERY criticism about himself into a charge against Hillary, even when it’s patently absurd.

He’s gone so far as to say she should be jailed and could be assassinated. He’s coasted on name-calling, bullying, threats, and precious little substance.

Tonight Trump’s in the big leagues for the first time, against the most seasoned debater he’ll ever face. He’s probably over the moon about the anticipated viewership, but if he thinks his schoolyard bully schtick, free of any grasp of the issues, is a recipe for success, Hillary’s going to hand his ass to him.

And when she does, Trump will withdraw from the remaining two debates and whine until election day that the process was unfair and rigged.

Trump has already cautioned NBC moderator Lester Holt not to fact-check, an indication Trump’s strategy is to rely on the well-debunked, fact-free lies he keeps repeating. He’s dumped such an avalanche of ignorance on this country, it’s become too deep to detail.

To prepare for the debate, Hillary’s been learning facts and practicing with a Trump stand-in. Trump thinks he can do it off the cuff because nobody expects him to know what he’s talking about.

There’s some truth in that. Trump’s supporters, who choose to remain willfully ignorant, will declare him the winner if he manages not to lose control of his bowels on stage.

In the past week, both candidates met with foreign leaders visiting the UN. Well, Trump verifiably met one, Egyptian President Abdel Fattah al-Sisi. To Fox News he claimed there were more to come, saying, “I don’t want to comment specifically on who, but a couple of people are coming over.”

But there have been no photo ops of any other fawning world leaders kissing his ring at Trump Tower. Maybe they asked to see his tax returns and he had his goons throw them out.

Clinton, in contrast, met also with Japanese Prime Minister Shinzo Abe and Ukrainian President Petro Poroshenko and knew what was going on with their countries, as witnesses and press reported.

Meeting with al-Sisi, Clinton called for release of a U.S. citizen held hostage since 2014 for operating a nonprofit in Egypt. Trump never mentioned that. Maybe he was unaware of the situation, or he thinks the hostage is a loser for getting captured and deserves no help.

Now it’s time for Trump to face the woman he’s been lying about and demonizing. I hope Hillary leaves Trump looking like a chewed-up Cheeto. And when she does, mark my words, Trump will never debate again. There’s nothing a bully hates worse than being confronted.


Trump and Clinton Almost Face Off

September 8, 2016

By Karen

Trump and Clinton were like two ships passing in the night – on the aircraft carrier Intrepid. A weird setting for sparring with NBC Today Show host Matt Lauer, now known as Mr. Fluffmeister.

The candidates appeared consecutively to answer veterans’ questions on foreign policy and being commander-in-chief.

Hillary was first, and Lauer leaped for her throat, forcing her to explain her email misuse for the umpteenth time.

OK, we get it. Using her own server was dumb. But how many years has it been with no repercussions from anything that might have leaked, and no evidence she was ever seriously hacked? It wasn’t illegal at the time and there’s nothing to prosecute.

Hillary routinely gets crucified on many things that, if bungled by a man, would get a shrug and a, “Boys will be boys!”

Let’s face it. Hillary doesn’t have an open, sunny disposition. When cornered, she resorts to slippery lawyer-speak. Her detractors act like she’s the only politician in history to do that.

Thanks to Lauer’s pointless email questions, Hillary was hard-pressed to address foreign policy, and then Matt kept telling her to be brief.

But Hillary somehow managed to display great familiarity with geography, foreign affairs, and the challenges the next president faces.

And then came Trump. The bar for his performance was so low, all he had to do was not drool or poop his pants. His verbal vomit was presidential poetry to Lauer, who didn’t challenge any lie or boast. Nor did he push Trump onto the ropes to answer for anything.

With his customary disregard for the military audience, Trump dissed our generals as being “reduced to rubble” and hinted he’d fire many, yet make them submit within 30 days a plan for defeating ISIS. Not that Trump already doesn’t have his own secret plan. He just wants to see if his generals have another one.

Trump, you idiot. You’re not starring in The King & I.

Remember when Yul Brynner, the king of Siam, is stewing over how to prove to England’s Queen Victoria that he’s not a barbarian? When Anna, the English governess, asks what he intends to do, the king commands, “You guess!”

Trump wants to play “You Guess!” with the generals, thinking he’ll trick lowly beings with no right to advise a king president into giving him a plan. Which they’d do, and he’d follow because he has no clue.

Trump’s appearance was notable for its lack of specifics, admiration for Putin, and inability to resist insulting Obama and Hillary, which both candidates were asked not to do, and Hillary mostly complied with.

Trump sat slouched and didn’t even turn his head much to respond to any veteran’s question. Hillary spent most of her time on her feet, facing her questioners.

For all his attacks on Hillary’s physical fitness, Trump looked like an out-of-shape, low-energy, unhealthy couch potato.

Considering the double standard, I thought Hillary showed presidential-caliber comportment and intelligence. Trump, as usual, was a clown show.

Can’t wait for the September 26 real debate when Trump finally has to face Hillary.


How Mexico Totally Blew It with Trump

September 1, 2016

By Karen

Lest anyone has forgotten, USA Today published a good run-down of the many ways Donald Trump has disrespected Mexico before he paid a visit there yesterday to piss all over the shoes of President Enrique Pena Nieto.

Nieto’s approval rating in Mexico stands at about 23%, even lower than Trump’s here. The Mexican people hate Trump so much, beating the crap out of him as a pinata has become a popular party game.

So Nieto meets Trump and says later that he told Trump Mexico wouldn’t pay for a wall.

Trump, not hearing what he wanted, claims the wall never came up in the conversation.

It raises questions about Trump’s ability to follow through on any of his boasts about how he’s going to make all the world’s leaders bend to his will. There he was, in a face-off with the guy who’d write the check for his wall, and Trump never even mentioned it?

Then they did a joint news conference, and instead of interrupting Trump and boldly stating, “Hell, no, we’ll never buy you a wall, and we’re not criminals, rapists, and drug-dealers!” before cameras and reporters, Nieto inexplicably stood silent and let Trump run the show.

Remember in the movie, Love, Actually, when Hugh Grant as the British prime minister puts the lecherous, suspiciously Bush-like U.S. president in his place at a press conference? This could have been that moment. Here it is (ignore the subtitles, the audio is in English)…

If Nieto had stood up to Trump, his approval ratings would have instantly soared, and he’d have earned the world’s gratitude. He’d have sent Trump back with his tail between his legs to make his epic foreign policy rant in Arizona that night, with every threat against Mexico thoroughly repudiated and recorded for posterity.

With video testimony from Mexico’s president, if Trump had persisted in his nonsense about getting a free wall on Mexico’s tab and deporting Mexicans along with everyone else, no one could ignore the fact that he’s a racist, raving lunatic.

Nieto could have achieved all that. But he did none of it.

Ireland’s Prime Minister Enda Kenny made Trump blink before a planned visit by saying he would tell Trump in person how racist and dangerous his comments are.

Trump canceled that stop in Ireland because there’s nothing a chicken-shit bully hates worse than being confronted.

Nieto, you had your chance, and you blew it big-time.


Is Donald Trump Walking Into a Mexican Trap?

August 31, 2016

By Karen

We should know the outcome of Trump’s meeting with Mexican President Enrique Peña Nieto today.

Reports on who initiated the meeting conflicted, but I think the only ones giving Trump credit were Trump’s people. The media seems to agree that Nieto invited Trump. Otherwise, why would Nieto host the orange buffoon who spews contempt for Mexico and Mexicans daily?

Mexico’s former president, Vincente Fox, told CNN that 130 million Mexicans don’t like Trump, don’t want him there, and reject his visit. He thinks current President Nieto will be considered a “traitor” if he’s perceived to go soft on Trump.

Not that Nieto has ever expressed any love for Trump. He knows Trump is pulling this publicity stunt to make himself look presidential and tough on Mexicans.

Trump is said to be bringing no reporters, but let’s hope the Mexican press fills the gap, and what goes down spreads worldwide in minutes. To recap the backstory…

Trump has called Mexicans drug dealers and rapists.

He wants to build a wall that he’ll force Mexico to pay billions for, to keep Mexicans out.

He wants to deport all Mexicans who are here illegally.

He wants to renegotiate NAFTA so Mexico gets a raw deal on trade.

And he thinks he’s going to wave his dick around today and show the world it’s bigger than Nieto’s.

Unless Nieto is an idiot, his welcoming party for Trump will be just short of a firing squad. He needs to verbally rip Trump to shreds with words that nobody can spin as “softness.”

It seems Mexico’s tit for tat with Russia in trying to influence our election. Hillary should be thrilled because Mexico has every reason to keep Trump out of the White House. Putin just wants a malleable sap he can control with flattery.

Let’s hope Nieto soundly rejects Trump’s wall, laughs in his face at redoing NAFTA, and defends his people.

This has potential to make Trump look like an even bigger idiot, reducing the cornerstones of his foreign policy to rubble.

It wouldn’t surprise me if Trump cancels his big speech — again.

When the proof of Mexico’s position is on film, what’s Trump going to say? That Nieto agreed with him? Give the world irrefutable proof of his pathological lying?

Nieto, this is your chance to strike a blow for your people and for Americans who have suffered Trump’s ignorant rants against Mexico for a year. Slap the lies and bluster out of him. Stay strong.


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