Chapter 95: COVID Chronicles

By Karen

Day 112

Roc May Feel Guilty & EU Shunning Gets to Me

I call this Roc’s “Hall of Good Intentions.” For the past week, he’s been bringing presents to my bedroom that never quite make it all the way (of course, Tony was on hand to photo-bomb)…

Maybe Roc’s trying to make it up to me for his sleeping in the living room with Max as their contest to determine King of the Couch continues. Meanwhile, Tony has been coming to bed with me and seems to enjoy having me all to himself (I’ve been taking lots of pics of him because he’s currently helping a good cause and hopes to become a star, details coming soon)…

Last night for the first time, Tony cuddled in the crook of my arm, which meant I spent that time lying on my back, a position I can’t fall asleep in. But it seemed like an affection breakthrough, so I stayed put as long as Tony did.

In yesterday’s comments, talking about the EU ban on Americans, I mentioned to our Danish reader the song about Copenhagen that Danny Kaye sang in the movie Hans Christian Andersen…

I got teary-eyed watching it. Americans becoming unwelcome pariahs in much of the world, thanks to Trump fostering spread of COVID-19 here with unbridled glee and doing NOTHING to help the states contain it, makes me feel hopeless and almost worse than this fucking lockdown.

If you’ve never traveled outside the country, you don’t miss it. But after once having strolled around some of the most beautiful cities of Europe, finding yourself cut off from them because your country’s leader is a demented, murderous monster is crushing.

It brought to mind this song from the show, Do I Hear a Waltz?, which I believe to be an underrated musical. Richard Rodgers composed the music and produced it in 1965. It was originally intended to be a Rodgers and Hammerstein show, but Oscar Hammerstein died of cancer. One of his final wishes was to have a young composer he’d mentored, Stephen Sondheim, write the lyrics.

Neither Rodgers nor Sondheim thought the book, The Time of the Cuckoo by Arthur Laurents, made good material for a musical, and it ultimately ran for only 220 performances on Broadway.

You know the story if you ever saw the 1955 movie Summertime with Katharine Hepburn and Rossanno Brazzi. Hepburn plays a spinster secretary who, while on a once-in-a-lifetime vacation in Venice, meets and falls in love with a semi-married shopkeeper. Elizabeth Allen and Sergio Franchi had those roles on Broadway.

This song you’ve probably never heard, This Week Americans, is sung by the proprietress of the Venetian pensione where the spinster stays. Sondheim managed to work in just about every cultural stereotype you can think of, but it reflects how, once we dump Trump, I hope the world can think of Americans again…

Chapter 94: COVID Chronicles

By Karen

Day 111

Are the Cats Plotting a Coup? & Trump’s Toadies Outing Him as a Moron

I just went downstairs to get some lunch, and when the cats heard me coming, they froze (sorry, I didn’t have the camera). I found them sitting in an informal circle around the big beige perch. Was it my imagination, or did they all look guilty? Their looks seemed to say, “Did you happen to hear any of the shit we were just saying about you?”

My birthday’s not for months, so what could they be up to? Earlier today, Tony did say “Hello”…

The brouhaha over Trump’s complicity in Putin’s Kill-Americans-for-Fun-and-Profit scheme continues. The only silver lining we’ve seen so far is that the White House is finally cornered into admitting what most of us have known all along.

Trump doesn’t have a freaking clue — nor an ounce of curiosity or concern — about what goes on, nor how to deal with it.

That latest blonde bimbo calling herself his press secretary insists Trump STILL hasn’t been “briefed” about Russia offering bounties on our soldiers.

We know Trump doesn’t or can’t read. We know he sees and hears only what he wants to, and only if it includes his face or his name, and it preferably appears on Fox “News.”

So, what does it take to enlighten the so-called leader of the free world about ANYTHING? Must the FBI and CIA duct-tape him face-down on a table and ram the intelligence so far up his flabby orange ass that it pushes the Adderall crumbs out of his nose? Would THAT get his attention?

Sadly, in the end it won’t matter. You’d think Trump’s steadfast intent on remaining totally ignorant about EVERYTHING — even when he’s killing people — should cause Pence, the cabinet and Congress to do what it takes to remove him immediately. Instead, they’re getting ready to celebrate July 4 with a two-week vacay while the rest of us try not to die. They’re determined to let Trump rampage until whoever’s still alive in November votes the bastard out.

Carl Bernstein just wrote an article for CNN that’s long but well worth a read about Trump’s phone calls with world leaders. The information is gleaned from series of interviews with people in the White House who heard the calls or read transcripts and notes, which are much more plentiful than we’ve been led to believe. Trump demeans female leaders like a chauvinist pig, calling Angela Merkel “stupid” and Theresa May “a fool.” He dismisses Obama and George W. Bush as “imbeciles” and “weaklings.”

Trump will drop everything 24/7, even golf, to take calls from Erdogan of Turkey, who calls him often (why?). Putin treats Trump like a stooge. There’s much, much more.

In a word, every country Trump had spoken to by phone has recordings proving he’s a mentally deficient and inept moron — as if our own news media’s warehouses full of video footage isn’t proof enough.

Meanwhile, I applaud the European Union for putting the U.S. on its list of banned countries, along with Russia and Brazil, because of our COVID-19 containment failures. It means I can’t make a transatlantic crossing anytime soon to or from cities I love, like Dublin, Paris or Lisbon. But if it delivers another crushing blow to Trump to make innocent American travelers pariahs thanks to his incompetence, so be it.

Hmm… Max and Roc are now hanging out in my office, supposedly napping. Should I be worried?…

BONUS: Democratic strategist and truly funny guy, James Carville, has written my favorite kind of satire, Trump’s Farewell Address.

DOUBLE BONUS: Randy Rainbow channeled Bye Bye Birdie to write this delightful anthem for the COVID-19 age…

Chapter 93: COVID Chronicles

By Karen

Day 110

With Trump, No Surprises Left & I Get Creative with Leftovers

As if it weren’t enough for Trump to be killing us in droves with COVID at home, we learn he’s been happy to let Russia take out our soldiers by proxy in Afghanistan.

It seems Putin pays the Taliban bounties for American hides. And Trump now denies that he and Pence have known it for months.

I’ll concede it’s possible that Trump, with his dwindling mental capacity, has no memory of it. And Pence’s standard line for everything is, “Nobody never tells me nuttin’ about nuttin’.”

And maybe whenever Chickenshit Cheetos Cadet Bone Spurs salutes a soldier, it’s not his secret “Fuck You!” signal to our generals because he’s been helping his BFF Vladdy wipe out U.S. troops without wasting any Russian bullets.

When did we make it OK for presidents who commit cut-and-dried treason say, “You can’t blame me for treason because I’m too mentally incapacitated, but you still have to let me run the country”?

What I find most tedious about this latest crime is everyone’s totally predictable outrage and continuing questions.

If there’s one thing 100% consistent about Trump, whether he’s manifesting any heinous human trait you can imagine, or behaving with such depravity that it defies description, it’s that it’s always EXACTLY as bad as it looks.

Trump has NEVER said or done anything that left anyone saying, “Well, that certainly wasn’t as bad as we feared.”

Moreover, it usually gets worse as you peel away the putrid layers of corruption that envelop everything he touches.

These bounties will be no different. Trump has been green-lighting Putin’s Kill-Americans-for-Fun-and-Profit project.

Don’t be surprised if it’s eventually revealed that Putin pays Trump a percentage on every American kill. Trump’s never been one to pass up an opportunity to demand a cut for his beneficence. This will probably be no exception.

Back on the culinary front, last night I had leftover beef lo mein in the fridge from my favorite takeout place, China Taste. I jazzed it up with onions and broccoli doused in soy sauce and sesame oil, and sprinkled it with bits of boneless pork spare ribs. It turned out delicious…

For today’s lunch, I still haven’t bought lunchmeat, and had only a dab of Mediterranean pasta salad left. It swims in olive oil, so I added some diced tomato sprinkled with oregano. Then a few Kalamata olives. And for protein I had some hard salami sitting around, so why not? For that touch of green, capers. Finished off with feta cheese. Voila! Tasty little lunch…

Speaking of lo mein, does anybody know a good recipe for whatever’s on the noodles? I’ve tried several, but have never been able to duplicate that restaurant taste.

Chapter 91: COVID Chronicles

By Karen

Day 108

Now 3 Things We Can Count On: Taxes, Death & COVID

While COVID was ravaging New York and New Jersey, remember how Trump’s red states seemed smug and complacent, like it could never touch them? Republican governors across the South and Midwest rejected even the most basic precautions, such as masks and social distancing.

Now COVID is on their doorsteps and any idiot could have predicted the results.

Doctors and nurses doing videos in Arkansas, Mississippi and Texas talk about how their hospitals are overwhelmed and people are dying horrible deaths with no end in sight. They’re like reruns of the videos out of New York that other states’ leaders laughed at.

Meanwhile, Trump and Pence refuse to set up the national response and testing we desperately need because they simply don’t care how many people die. I personally believe Trump pleasures himself every evening while looking at the rising numbers of sick and dead. To him, they’re ratings of his success as a dictator. Yes, he really is that sick.

That pair gloat over their nonexistent leadership and prance (at taxpayer expense) from one hot spot to the next like a couple of Typhoid Marys. It seems a matter of when, not if, they will both end up on ventilators — or worse, if we’re lucky. They must pay a price for preening in front of chanting mobs that undoubtedly include infected morons spewing virus. I’m counting the days.

The MAGA set thinks COVID is just one more reality whose existence they can deny. If they pretend it’s gone, it’s gone. But that’s not how viruses work.

I sincerely hope the European Union slams the door to all Americans — including Trump. Countries that did the right things shouldn’t let our potentially infected people anywhere near their citizens. They see Trump gleefully breeding a subset of Americans who will kill without mercy or remorse, with or without a gun. To that bunch (you can easily spot them by the masks they DON’T wear), nobody’s life matters, not even their own. Yes, they’re really that stupid.

My head was exploding as cases rose and yet states started relaxing restrictions and reopening, including Virginia, whose physician-Governor Northam KNEW better. Then the inevitable new wave of illness and death — especially in red states — was reported like nobody saw it coming.

Soon we’ll be seeing figures on the people who attended Trump rallies and ended up in the hospital fighting for their lives. I wonder if that will also be covered as some crazy new twist in the COVID story, or the disgusting inevitability of having an increasingly irrational monster in the White House who feeds on death. He must be stopped before November.

Chapter 73: COVID Chronicles

By Karen

Day 90

Harry and Meghan & Roc In a Box

Officially three months — 90 days in lock-down. I enjoy all the comforts of home and cats, but am beginning to understand how prisoners must feel. Nothing to look forward to, nowhere to go. Just make do with what you’ve got and take life one day at a time.

Many states, including Virginia, are steadily reopening even as cases spike and hospital beds max out. Virginia has surpassed 51,000 cases. I have no plans to rejoin the world until we get definitive word that the coast is (relatively) clear.

Meanwhile, the long, hot summer is here. Temps in the 80s and 90s, with afternoon thunderstorms to keep it steamy. Here’s Max and Roc last night hanging out…

…waiting for their Chewy.com delivery. When it came, Roc wasted no time checking out his new digs and fresh paper…

Why do Prince Harry and Meghan Markle keep popping up on my radar? Aren’t we done with them?

In March, when they seceded from royal life by posting it on social media before they personally told Harry’s family, I was surprised at the positive reaction: “Good for them! Screw the royals!”

I was initially sad for Harry, but then he and Meghan became our problem by moving to Los Angeles.

Not before trying to snooker the Queen into letting them have it all their way. They’d do her the favor of dropping in for “some” duties when they weren’t hawking their “Sussex Royal brand” for a buck. The Queen said, “Hell, no.”

So now they say they want to earn an honest living, but still use their ex-royal status as leverage. I’m sorry, but that’s cheating if commoners are in line for the same work.

Of course, every story has two sides. We heard rumors that the family was beastly, even racist, toward Meghan. And also that Meghan’s a diva whose demands made staff quit.

What I always saw was an ambitious actress I’d never heard of whose family (except her mom) clamored like trailer trash for 15 minutes of fame as soon as she latched onto Harry.

Meghan gave up “all” her cable TV fame for instant international recognition with a royal wedding. Then she spent nine months with her hand on her tummy whenever a camera was present lest we forget for a second she was Harry’s baby-mama.

Then all went quiet (supposedly to give Archie a “normal” life). Until the Big Split.

It’s reported that William and Harry, always close, grew distant over Meghan. She even managed to piss off unflappable Kate.

I always knew Meghan wouldn’t stay in Kate’s shadow. Her wish was to eclipse Kate, never to play second banana.

When obliterating Kate with her own brilliance failed, Meghan yanked Harry away from his family, schoolmates and old army buddies. Now they’re both looking for work where Meghan feels most comfortable and Harry is a curiosity.

But I don’t think this phase will last, either. When time goes on and Meghan discovers being a nonfunctioning duchess opens fewer and fewer doors, she’ll dump Harry and use Archie to bargain a fine royal settlement for herself. The royals will welcome Harry and his broken heart back into the fold.

I love Harry and hate to see him go through this, but these are his choices.

This has always been my favorite Meghan photo because Kate wouldn’t be caught dead tying her coat like that…

New York Times

Trump-Russia Mystery, Not So Mystifying

By Karen

Trump’s involvement with Russia has been obvious all along. We’ve only lost perspective in the confusion roiled by the media and pundits trying to fill 24/7 news cycles with speculation, rather than restating simple facts. Here’s how I see it…

Trump has been flirting with (Miss Universe Pageant – 2013) and accepting boatloads of loans (as Junior & Eric said) and real estate deals (public record) from Russia for years.

But during the campaign, Trump realized Americans – especially the “Ruskie”-hating rubes he courted – take a dim view of hobnobbing with Moscow, so his negotiations for Trump Tower Moscow went on the down-low.

Simultaneously, he told Junior, Jared and his campaign staff it was OK to continue soliciting and accepting whatever help Russia offered, but not to link Trump to it in public.

Behind the scenes, staff briefed Trump in person (no paper trail) and he directed their efforts because he’s a known micromanager. Trump was only forced to get involved when Junior muffed everything about the Trump Tower meeting with Natalia Veselnitskaya and Trump himself had to concoct a lie to conceal its purpose.

This strategy is hardly new. Remember Chris Christie and Bridgegate in New Jersey? I have no doubt Christie instructed his team to “Get back at that guy, this way, and leave me out of it.” Now he’s doing talk shows flogging his new book, Let Me Finish, calling the convicted aides who followed his orders low-level underlings who went rogue unbeknownst to him. Yeah, right.

Similarly, Trump claims he had NO CLUE his minions had at least 100 verifiable contacts with Russians.

In the end, Russia’s interference helped get Trump into the White House. A downside was that Trump has to shelve his Moscow tower temporarily. But he got a YUGE compensation prize…

As president, there’s no more need to hide. Trump believes he can conspire openly with Russia because talking to foreign leaders is what presidents do. Trump thinks he can hang with Putin as much as he wants – and he does.

Trump just has to hide what they discuss because the Ruskie-haters might freak out if they hear he’s selling out the country for his own profit. But he has a simple fix…

Don’t let another American listen in when he and Putin are chillin’.

Trump has done it five or six times so far (I’m losing count, since the Financial Times just revealed a previously unknown convo at the G20 in Buenos Aires in November 2018).

Trump’s bro time with Putin is more than previous presidents have felt compelled to have with any Russian leader – EVER.

The only rational explanation for Trump’s secrecy is that Trump is betraying the U.S. for his own enrichment, not that he and Putie are swapping pictures of the grandkids instead of talking business.

If Trump were really being tough on Russia (as he claims) and gaining the upper hand, he’d have The New York Times, Washington Post and every major network’s cameras covering it.

Meanwhile, just like Chris Christie, Trump lets his underlings get indicted for shielding him and he feigns total ignorance. Special Counsel Robert Mueller has yet to reveal how much they’ve confessed about Trump’s actual involvement, which will be eyeball-deep. Mark my words.

That’s the Russia situation in a nutshell. As it stands today, Donald Trump openly conspires with Putin for personal profit while concealing from the American people what degradation of our government he promises to Putin in return.

In doing so, the awe-inspiring vista of Trump’s stupidity is revealed. While creating no CYA documentation for himself, Trump allows Putin to record and film everything. Putin can use it against Trump whenever he chooses. And if the truth of Trump’s treason isn’t damning enough, Putin can Photoshop it until it is. We’ll never know the difference, thanks to Trump.

Trump has literally dropped the U.S. government into Putin lap. Putin now has the power to disgrace us and make us the pariah of the planet so he can pick up the pieces and try to make Russia the world’s dominant power.

What’s a thoroughly screwed country to do?

Optimally, we’d arrest Trump TODAY on suspicion of treason and he’d sit in prison while we assess the damage. But that won’t happen as long as Russian tools like Mitch McConnell are in the Senate protecting Trump.

The NSA could bug all of Trump’s phones – if they haven’t already.

Twitter could close Trump’s account, like they would any other Russian bot disseminating propaganda.

If any souls left in Trump’s White House aren’t co-traitors, they could see that Trump is never again alone with Putin, hiding behind the drapes with a recording device, if necessary.

The media can air all Trump comments and speeches on delay and edit out any praise or pleas for help Trump may make to Putin, like: “Russia, if you’re listening…”

The bottom line is that we need to quarantine the president of the United States from all contact with Russia. If Trump refuses and continues to seek out Putin, he reveals his criminal intent and makes indictment, conviction and impeachment the only recourse.

Belated Bombshell: Trump is Working for Russia!

By Karen

Well, Da! Since The New York Times report last week that the FBI launched an investigation into Trump’s relationship with Russia after Trump fired FBI Director James Comey, my déjà vu has been off the charts. Every time I see TV pundits picking over Trump’s multitude of pro-Russian statements and actions as if they’re seeing them for the first time, I go into a meltdown.

Why? Because any person over 12 who’s been paying the slightest bit of attention knows Trump’s allegiance to Russia has always been sincere and all-consuming.

“I will tell you this, Russia: If you’re listening, I hope you’re able to find the 30,000 [Hillary Clinton] emails that are missing.”

On Russian meddling in the election: “I don’t see any reason why it would be” Russia.

I could go on and on. These and many other outrageous statements the media reported with insufficient push-back left many of us thinking, “Holy shit! Why isn’t somebody stopping him?”

Right after Trump fired Comey, he invited Russians into the Oval Office to gloat with them about it. We found out from Russian photographs because Trump allowed no American witnesses.

And then we heard about the two-hour private tête-à-tête with Putin in Helsinki, to which Trump allowed no American witnesses save an interpreter, whose notes he later confiscated and probably destroyed. Afterward, Putin bounded before reporters, smiling like he’d just gotten the world’s best blow job, with lumbering Trump looking like he’d been forced at gunpoint to swallow.

And let’s not overlook Trump’s ever-growing mountain of tweets professing love for all things Russian. Out the other side of his face he claims he’s been harder on Russia than any president, ever — even as he tries to relieve Putin’s oligarch henchman and Paul Manafort BFF, Oleg Deripaska, of American sanctions.

For three years, the media has asked, “What could POSSIBLY be going on?” when it’s been obvious all along.

Trump’s Russia fixation is all about money. Back in 2008, (I’m quoting Vox) Donald Trump Jr. said, “Russians make up a pretty disproportionate cross-section of a lot of our assets.” In 2014, Eric Trump said, “We don’t rely on American banks. We have all the funding we need out of Russia.”

Over many years, Trump has done a high volume of all-cash real estate deals at his properties in New York and Florida with Russians worth hundreds of millions.

U.S. banks refuse to lend to Trump because he’s a notorious bad risk, and Trump’s burning bridges with other countries now. I believe he naively thinks that if he presents Putin with the smoldering ruins of the United States on a platter (with the Statue of Liberty’s head on the side), Trump will be ensured wealth beyond his wildest dreams forever — including a Trump Tower in Moscow.

Where Trump miscalculates bigly is that his life post-White House will be anything but business as usual, happily ever after. Trump and, apparently, the 25-30 percent of racist morons who still support him are the only ones who fail to see he’s heading to prison. The feds and New York state have so many felonies to nail on Trump, he’ll look like a used piñata by the time they’re finished with him.

Tax evasion, money laundering, fraud, misuse of funds, conspiring with a hostile power, emoluments violations, campaign finance violations, obstruction of justice. Those are just his greatest hits. Even with plea deals, Trump at 72 faces what’s left of his life behind bars. Special Counsel Robert Mueller is assembling and fleshing out the pieces with hard evidence that will be gift-wrapped and shoved down the throats of every Trump voter and enabler in Congress.

On January 14, in response to the NYT article, Trump uttered the words destined to be carved on his tombstone…

Trump will be pressed on that point, and we know his first response will be, “I never said that.”

When confronted with the video, he’ll say…

“I have never received a paycheck from Russia. When you work for somebody, they have to give you a paycheck, right? Do you think Putin would ever give me a paycheck? What have I ever done for Putin? I hardly know the guy. I don’t get paychecks from Putin. I’ve never even been to Russia.”

What we’re seeing is quid pro quo in action. On the promise of future riches, Putin provides Trump’s marching orders (“Pull your troops out of Syria,” “Pull your troops out of Iraq,” “Destroy NATO,” “Give Deripaska a break,” etc.), and Trump will do as ordered until Congress stops him, one way or another.

Donald Trump is a liar, a thief and a traitor. He’s lurching blindly toward the worst possible end. It can’t come soon enough.

Three Christmas Wishes for Trump

By Karen

Evidence of the Trump gang’s corruption is gushing in such a torrent, I feel like I’m being waterboarded with it. And Special Counsel Robert Mueller hasn’t even shared his festering treasure trove of crimes uncovered.

The stench of Trump’s desperation is pervasive as he tries to keep such chaos churned up that we give him a pass because we can’t comprehend the sheer volume of his vileness.

But I think the best approach is to let the subpoenas fly. First, arrest and indict everyone who enabled Trump and lied about it — Stone, Kushner and Don Jr. for starters.

With them should be Trump himself. His orange slime is oozing through every tentacle of this whole mess. He incessantly confesses to it on Twitter by projecting his own guilt onto everyone around him.

Trump has fans who would still like to paint those who have flipped — Cohen, Manafort, Flynn and others — as liars. But they probably wouldn’t have flipped if Mueller hadn’t shown them solid paper trails documenting the felonies they’d committed on Trump’s behalf.

As Mueller assembles this 100,000-piece jigsaw puzzle of greed, corruption and treason, you can see Trump flailing as if he feels Mueller is the one building a wall, methodically entombing Trump behind it, brick by brick, layer by layer.

Mexico will be laughing its ass off at the irony.

This country was founded on rebellion against an unstable, unjust king. Yet we’re sliding into dictatorship while debating whether a common crook can be indicted because —through our quirky voting process, not because he earned the most votes — he lucked into a job title he’s proven himself incompetent to fulfill.

Besides, Trump’s a tax evader — he bragged it proves he’s “smart.” A fraud — Trump University. A thief — stiffing suppliers and contractors. A money launderer — Russian and Saudi grossly overpriced real estate deals.

Then we have brazen obstruction of justice and witness tampering, well-documented in interviews and on social media. Not to mention treason — violating his oath of office by approving of Russia’s and Saudi Arabia’s aggressive attacks to destabilize the U.S.

Every day, Trump’s businesses profit from foreign governments openly patronizing his properties to bribe him.

I could go on and on, but you get the picture. Trump is a walking crime against humanity.

Trump rightfully should have been behind bars years ago. If he hadn’t wandered into the White House and hit greater scrutiny because of his misuse of power, he and his idiot kids probably could have gone on cheating and swindling people indefinitely.

If anything, the law should apply to Donald Trump harder and swifter BECAUSE he’s the president. And because he’s disgraced the office by gleefully spitting on his responsibility to model honesty, integrity and morality.

It’s time to throw Trump on the pyre of evidence against him and light the match.

Once Trump is behind bars for life, removing him from office through impeachment becomes moot, a no-brainer. Congress can rubber-stamp it.

My three wishes for Donald Trump for Christmas are: indictment, conviction and impeachment.

Saudi Solution is Simple: Show Us Khashoggi’s Body

By Karen

Trump and Kushner are still playing coy over whether they believe Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman (MBS) ordered the killing of Virginia resident and Washington Post columnist Jamal Khashoggi on October 2.

One story is that Khashoggi synced his Apple watch to the iPhone he left with his fiancée outside the Saudi Arabian consulate in Istanbul, which saved a file to the cloud of what the watch recorded happening inside the building. However, the BBC dissected the gadgets’ capabilities and debunked the likelihood of this.

Turkish authorities claim to have audio and video of Khashoggi’s murder. They’re reluctant to share this information and reveal the true extent of their surveillance practices. Understandable. But they’ve released plenty of gruesome details.

Meanwhile, the Saudis have been using Trump as their stooge to float a series of denials and fanciful lies, including that 60-year-old Khashoggi got into a fistfight and was accidentally strangled when somebody put him in a chokehold.

Based on Turkey’s revelations, it appears Khashoggi was ambushed by 15 Saudi men equipped with a bone saw, flown in specifically for the occasion. Once Khashoggi entered the consulate, he was tortured, apparently had fingers cut off, then drugged and dismembered while still alive by a man who told the others it was good to listen to music whenever butchering a person.

If none of this happened, the Saudis should be able to produce Khashoggi’s completely intact corpse.

But they haven’t. They can’t even say where it is.

Instead, there’s video of a body double wearing a fake beard and Khashoggi’s clothes (but not his shoes) leaving by the consulate’s back door with another man. Cameras also caught the double entering a public restroom and emerging in his original clothes, sans beard, then dumping a shopping bag (containing Khaghoggi’s clothes, presumably) in a dumpster.

A small handful of Republican senators (Paul, Sasse, Corker and Graham) have professed outrage, but we know they’ll be dancing in a chorus line behind Trump when he soon kisses MBS on the lips and declares his everlasting devotion to Saudi Arabia.

The truth is that Trump is personally terrified that sanctioning the Saudis will cut off the sweet, sweet flow of cash into his own pocket; instead, he feigns concern over losing a $110 billion arms sale that was tentative at best.

The world sees an impotent United States making excuses for unimaginable barbarity on a man Trump keeps reminding us only lived here on a green card, as if his life mattered less than any blond-haired, blue-eyed native redneck.

The Saudis may have done the killing, but this blood is all over Trump. Without his daily rants about the press being “the enemy of the people” and rally ravings about how he loves to see journalists body-slammed, encouraging his moronic supporters to hate the legitimate news media, he sends a deadly signal.

Bottom line: The House of Trump loves terrorizing journalists. The Saudis gave him the gift of showing what can happen to anyone who dares to question or criticize the powers that be. In Trump’s eyes, that’s a plus, not a problem.

Will Trump Meet His Match with Asian Jet Lag?

By Karen

I love when Donald Trump goes abroad because he becomes somebody else’s problem. When he crosses many time zones, we don’t wake up dreading to see on Twitter the fruits of his potty sessions.

I think Trump’s first (and probably last) jaunt through Asia will wreak such havoc on his mind and body, no one will ever mistake him for a world leader again.

Map – CNN

Tonight, Trump sleeps in Hawaii, which is 6 hours behind Washington. If his usual bedtime is midnight, it will be 6 p.m. there. He could use the extra time to meet those investigators he hired there who supposedly uncovered bombshells about Obama’s real birthplace.

When Trump leaves Hawaii for Japan, his watch hops ahead 19 hours.

In Tokyo on Sunday, local time will be 13 hours ahead of DC. So, if it’s noon at the White House, it’s 1 a.m. the next day for Trump. He may start showing cracks then.

Tuesday, he flies to Seoul, enjoying the same time zone as Tokyo. Then on Wednesday in Beijing, Trump gains an hour. So, 6 p.m. in China is 6 a.m. that day in DC.

Next he’s off to Vietnam, gaining another hour in Da Nang and Hanoi on Friday.

Sunday, he flies to Manila and loses the hour he gained in Vietnam as he meets his soulmate, the Filipino despot Rodrigo Duterte. Trump should be a babbling idiot by then, so it promises to be an interesting conversation.

Heading for home on Monday, Nov. 13, when it feels like noon for Trump, it will be midnight of the previous night back in DC.

If you don’t think all this time-hopping isn’t going to drive our Man-Baby-in-Chief bat-shit, you don’t know Trump.

Holding Trump’s leash the entire time will be his nannies Rex Tillerson, H.R. McMaster, and John Kelly. Ivanka isn’t going, and CNN reports that Melania and Jared Kushner are only scheduled for a portion of the trip.

If the time changes weren’t bad enough, Trump must also navigate Asian cuisine. His caretakers hope to keep him on shoe-leather steaks slathered in ketchup with two scoops of ice cream on the side (hold the chopsticks).

But banquets are planned. China’s president, Xi Jinping, wants to “treat Trump almost like an emperor,” according to CNN. Xi knows the more gold-plated and vulgar he can make Trump’s reception, the warmer their relations will be.

Vietnam also plans a big welcome for Trump and hopes he will explain why he shits on them every chance he gets.

It seems highly unlikely Trump can refuse every Chinese, Japanese, Korean, or Vietnamese dish he’s served without offending someone. On the bright side, more toilet time to catch up on tweeting.

Trump was a gauche boor in Europe earlier this year, where the cultures aren’t such a stretch. In Asia, his potential to be a world-class ass is infinite.

Meanwhile, will Kim Jong Un in North Korea feel like the snubbed kid in the ‘hood and start lobbing missiles in Trump’s direction, just for attention?

Will Trump throw a hissy about “Little Rocket Man” and get Seoul vaporized?

Trump thinks the Mueller investigation is bad, but he’s now got 12 days to tip-toe through a minefield of diplomatic issues he doesn’t understand, while his already-addled brain gets raped by jet lag. And his handlers can’t control Trump’s most deadly weapon — his mouth.

This trip may actually beat Robert Mueller in causing the big orange couch potato’s inevitable and total meltdown.