Trump Has Already Made Russia Our Greatest Ally

February 21, 2017

By Karen

Just not in the way Trump thinks.

While Trump keeps minions scurrying to mitigate the damage he inflicts daily on himself, Vladmir Putin watches, waits, and compiles a psychological dossier on Trump. When the two men meet face-to-face, we’ll hear Trump being played with such finesse, symphony conductors will melt in puddles of drool.

When Michael Flynn assured Russia’s ambassador that Trump might relax Obama’s sanctions, he actually sabotaged that possibility. If there’s one thing that terrifies congressional Republicans (besides Trump), it’s being perceived as Putin’s puppets.

After firing Flynn, Trump declared Flynn’s call a good idea, and that Trump “would have” ordered it himself (kind of reminds me of OJ Simpson’s book, If I Did It). Trump’s subtext was…

“Never fear, Vladmir, my future BFF. One of your boys had to go because he got caught, but I’ll make this up to you bigly. Trust me.”

Trump then dispatched Mike Pence to Europe, toting the baggage of being misled by Flynn and kept unaware of it by Trump, with orders to spread more lies like manure around the EU to hide Trump’s true intent to screw Western Europe.

Secretly, Pence just keeps smiling, reapplying his lipstick, and waiting in the wings for Mr. DeMille to tell him it’s time for his close-up, as Trump continues hacking an ever-widening path to his impeachment.

Meanwhile, Putin’s been pushing Trump’s buttons one by one — conducting cruise missile tests, buzzing U.S. naval vessels, trolling off our East Coast with his spy ship. He’s exploring what it will take for Trump’s ego to blurt-tweet that his dick is bigger than Vlad’s. So far, Trump has resisted the bait.

Trump naively believes Putin considers him an equally shrewd operator, playboy, and despot. But after a month of watching Trump boast, bully, and bumble, Putin knows the lying orange man-baby will never be a reliable ally, and he’s waiting for America’s disgust to build to a crescendo of cries for Congress to “DO SOMETHING!” about Trump.

But Congress will do nothing. Paul Ryan and Mitch McConnell will wring their hands and make excuses, while John McCain and Lindsey Graham whimper in a corner…

…Until Putin unleashes the damning-beyond-a-doubt dirt he collected on Trump in 2013 when Trump visited Moscow for the Miss Universe pageant.

Russia will force Congress to end Trump’s reign of terror.

You know, after Trump blabbered for years about being president and building Trump Tower Moscow, there’s no way Putin squandered his “golden opportunity” to spy on Trump on Russian soil and gain the upper hand, in case he ever needed it.

Our part in this is to continue mocking and resisting Trump’s idiocy until Putin knows that revealing his hand will bring lasting results.

Don’t cry for Trump. His own behavior makes his downfall inevitable. To have Putin confirm Trump’s probable financial corruption and possible perversity will be the coup de grâce.

The ultimate irony will be when Donald Trump forces Putin to deliver America from evil and, by default, become the most powerful leader on earth.


Do We Need to Read EVERY Hillary Email?

November 2, 2016

By Adele

Emboldened by FBI Director James Comey announcing he found 650,000 emails that may or may not relate to Hillary Clinton on, of all places, pervert Anthony Weiner’s laptop, Trump supporter Wayne Allyn Root boldly wished for Hillary and Huma Abedin to die in a car crash like Thelma & Louise. Here’s Root’s outrageous warm-up act for Trump in Las Vegas…

And Trump crept up in the polls again. How on EARTH does Hillary’s email make him any less a paranoid, delusional, ignorant racist?

Trump, in the last week of his national fact-free “Projection 180 Tour,” proclaimed, “We can be sure that what is in those emails is absolutely devastating,” and, “This is bigger than Watergate, in my opinion.”

Talk about comparing apples to aardvarks.

I say it’s projection because Trump knows he’s hiding the “absolutely devastating” stuff in his own taxes. He shoots his mouth off with the assurance that Comey can’t touch those.

Then Trump bizarrely projected that Clinton is a “terrible example” for Trump’s 10-year-old son Baron.

(Baron? Why did Trump shoot so low on that? Why isn’t the kid called Duke, Earl, or even Prince?)

If Baron needs a role model, he just has to look at Dad to see a cheater, groper, tax evader, disreputable businessman, con artist, liar, and all-round ignoramus. Dad’s the whole package.

Everybody’s still wondering why Comey decided to throw shade on Hillary now, without having a single fact to present.

What I wonder is why the FBI stopped at Weiner’s PC. Why don’t they just seize EVERYBODY’S email and read until they can find anything, anywhere, to indict Hillary on something?

That’s what this witch hunt has been about all along. Sure, Hillary’s staff talked a lot of smack, but no threat to national security ever came of any of it.

As for the WikiLeaks email dumps, who knows what’s real?

But no matter what the FBI finds, no minds will change. Anyone who didn’t know who they were voting for before this week is probably too stupid to find their polling place anyway.

And while we’re making comparisons, I’ll stick with Trump and Hitler. On Election Day, as the big screen TVs flashing the election results of doom close in on Trump, maybe he’ll think about what Hitler did when it became clear he was the world’s biggest loser and there was no escaping it.

As Trump himself said when he dog-whistled for some gun nut to kill Hillary, that would be a “horrible day.”

BONUS: Here’s John’s Oliver’s hilarious take on the email connection to Weiner.


No Jail for Bob and Maureen McDonnell

September 9, 2016

By Adele

Here’s what we woke up to this morning…

mcdonnell-vindicatedIn reality, not quite.

The Supreme Court unanimously threw out all corruption charges against Virginia’s former governor, Bob McDonnell (and his wife Maureen by implication, I suppose, although she caused the whole mess), and now they have been dropped. Neither one will ever serve a moment of their jail sentences, and they can put this sordid business behind them.

I’ve got nothing against Bob McDonnell. He seems basically decent, although he suffers from the mental paradox of Republicanism, being misogynistic and discriminatory while professing to be a devout Christian.

Bob’s sin was to look away while his wife emotionally attached herself to a sugar daddy named Jonnie Williams and sucked more than $177,000 out of him. It caught up with Bob when he directly benefited in the form of a Rolex watch, golf outings (with a pro shop shopping spree), vacations, and large contributions toward his side real estate business and his two daughters’ weddings.

The highest court in our justice system deemed that the McDonnells did nothing wrong by taking all this because they swore they provided essentially nothing in return. Anyone else caught making such a heist would probably be charged with stealing, but the McDonnell case has established that politicians are incapable of theft under any circumstances. Private interests may shovel unlimited amounts of cash and goodies their way in hopes that some pol will slip and show some gratitude – and not get caught.

The McDonnells may be technically finished with their legal ordeal, but they’ve got a long road ahead to redeem themselves as human beings.

Bob has been doing some charitable work and talks about doing more. He should now help the down-and-out people he would have assuredly crushed under his heel had he continued to rise in Republican politics.

There’s been no word, but I’m guessing Maureen hasn’t changed much. You know what they say: “Once a greedy bitch…”

But with Bob going around in sackcloth and ashes, she’s lost her bait to catch rich guys who need favors, so she may be forced to live within her means. Like the rest of us.


Trump Exploits Orlando Massacre for Political Points

June 13, 2016

By Karen

Unfortunately, it’s taken the worst mass shooting yet, 49 victims dead, 53 wounded in Orlando, to show us how Trump as president would respond to a crisis.

First, he took to Twitter to bask in congratulations for “being right” about Muslims, whom he wants to ban from entering the country. For those already here, it was remarkable that he didn’t float the idea of death camps.

Then he demanded that Obama resign for refusing to call the Orlando LGBT massacre “radical Islamic terrorism,” and even suggested that Obama was somehow in on it, or condoned it.

This morning on CBS This Morning, without actually using the word (the sin he so quickly pins on everyone else), Trump essentially called for establishment of an American Gestapo — “intelligence-gathering like never before.” (If you click this link, keep listening after Trump to hear Hillary’s response. Quite a contrast.)

And then on CNN he blamed the victims themselves, claiming they could have avoided being killed had they been armed. As if that’s ever saved anybody in any previous massacre.

Basically, Trump compiled every stupid conservative comeback to a mass shooting to create his own personal “greatest hits” mix of ignorant platitudes.

By hanging on his every eruption of verbal vomit, the media has enabled Trump to eclipse this tragedy and make it all about himself.

Shame on the media. If ever there was a time to pull the plug on a dangerous maniac, this is it. And I’m not talking about the shooter.

Trump is calling for even more guns and predicting more and worse violence. He’s doing everything but issue engraved invitations to the gun-loving bottom-feeders who worship him to kick the carnage up a notch — by implying it’s open season on anyone who might look like a terrorist.

Congress must admit that NOBODY outside the military needs to own an AK-anything and start taking steps to eliminate them. The Second Amendment doesn’t guarantee anyone’s right to bear assault weapons. Enough’s enough.


Gorilla Mom Gets Off Scot-Free

June 7, 2016

By Adele

It comes as no surprise that no charges will be filed against the mother whose 3-year-old son climbed into the gorilla enclosure at the Cincinnati Zoo, causing an endangered silverback gorilla named Harambe to be shot to death.

Parents have circled the wagons yet again with a verdict that basically says, “Aw, she’s already suffered enough. Didn’t you hear how upset she sounded on the 911 call?” God forbid anyone should ever question a negligent parent’s competence or imply they could do better.

We learned from CBS This Morning that the mother visited the zoo with her son and three daughters, ages 1-7. She was with a friend who also had two children. So, two adults to watch six kids, including at least one infant.

The statement the mother’s family issued (quoted from CBS This Morning) said, in part…

“We are very pleased with the decision. It is what we expected.”

Of course it is. They go on their merry way while the zoo, which has never had a human breach its enclosures before, is now under investigation, and just sucks up its losses in its gorilla breeding program, not to mention the expense of reinforcing the barrier around the gorillas.

The tables turn to make this mother come off like the innocent victim of the zoo. At the very least, she should have been ordered to pay for the new barrier.

The mother was presented in court as a diligent parent whose child “just scampered off” while she turned away for a few seconds. It could happen to anybody, right?

Yes, it could, if you’re so stupid you pop out four kids in seven years, and then drag them to a place full of wild animals before they’re old enough to handle it.

Here’s my solution for these parents: Harnesses and leashes.

If your children can walk but don’t know how to behave in public, put them on leashes so they can drag you wherever they go. Then YOU can take responsibility for protecting them and stop expecting the world to do it for you.


No Justice for Harambe the Gorilla

June 2, 2016

By Adele

The sad end of Harambe the silverback gorilla is like Tatiana the tiger all over again. Humans behave with incredible stupidity and an innocent animal dies for it.

A 3-year-old boy visiting the Cincinnati Zoo wormed his way into the gorilla enclosure, where Harambe, a 17-year-old male found him, became excited, and was shot as he was dragging the child by his foot.

The boy suffered superficial injuries. Harambe is dead. And on the news this morning, we heard that the parents have decided not to sue the zoo. Indeed?

The zoo should not only sue the child’s mother, but she should also face criminal prosecution for reckless endangerment, or whatever they call not having the physical or mental equipment to keep your kids out of potentially deadly situations.

Witnesses reported the mother was debating the 3-year-old about climbing into the gorilla moat while being distracted by her other children.

The zoo says it did the right thing to shoot Harambe, and would do it again. But the zoo never should have been put in the position of having to sacrifice an animal they intended to breed to save his species from extinction. The mother should have rounded up her misbehaving litter and left the zoo immediately.

This isn’t just about Harambe. His death has implications for all his fellow gorillas and the breeding program. This Cosmopolitan article explains that.

When will people stop letting every ignorant, reckless parent who endangers or even kills a child get off with, “Oh, never mind. Nobody’s really to blame. She’s already suffered enough”?

I have no sympathy for that woman or her disobedient brat. He’s lucky to be alive. They both pushed safety precautions past their limits and absolutely NOTHING is being done to see that they don’t do it again somewhere else. Instead, the zoo is being investigated to see if can do better.

We’ll have to pad and wall off the whole planet so morons like this won’t hurt themselves.

When will parents ever face serious consequences for their inability to control or raise children with respect for animals, and it causes the animals’ destruction?


Apple’s Win Would be Terrorists’ Gain

February 23, 2016

By Karen

Apple’s refusal to help the FBI access San Bernadino mass-murderer Syed Farook’s iPhone is a joke. The world leader in creating innovative devices and software devised this super-tricky password feature that wipes an iPhone clean after 10 failed attempts to get in, and they want us to believe they don’t have the code to bypass it.

Well, I think they do — they just don’t want their customers to know it.

It’s like KFC claiming Colonel Sanders deleted ingredients from his secret formula for delicious fried chicken when he retired from the company, and they’re OK with that.

Apple CEO Tim Cook wrote an open letter to customers to justify Apple’s disingenuous stance. The implication is that Apple employs no one trustworthy enough not to steal the code and use it with evil intent, or sell it to the highest-bidding hacker. It’s just human nature.

It also implies that Apple itself can’t be trusted. Cook writes: “And while the government may argue that its (the code’s) use would be limited to this case, there is no way to guarantee such control.”

Apple’s been given permission to write their code in a closet, slip the results to the FBI through a crack under the door, and then immediately destroy the code.

But Apple thinks it will somehow become a “master key” out in the public domain that anyone may use to hack into any iPhone at any time.

Who could possibly be responsible for that happening except Apple?

It’s the old slippery slope tactic. You know, “If we let gays marry, people will be marrying their dogs next.”

Cook also claims: “The government could extend this breach of privacy and demand that Apple build surveillance software to intercept your messages, access your health records or financial data, track your location, or even access your phone’s microphone or camera without your knowledge.”

Does he really think none of this happens now? My iPad Mini tries to track my location every day.

There’s a supreme irony in Apple fighting to maintain the purity of the very devices its customers use to splash the illustrated minutiae of their lives all over the Internet.

And the government already has access to whatever crumbs are left. Let’s not kid ourselves. The TSA can even fondle your boobs and stick its hands down your pants.

If Tim Cook is allowed to obstruct justice and spit in the faces of the San Bernadino victims’ families, he’ll certainly gain a lock on the terrorist smartphone market. ISIS can rely on Apple’s protection, no matter how many slaughters are coordinated on iPhones.

But if one more dead terrorist turns up with another inviolable iPhone after another domestic massacre, I don’t think it would be remiss for the feds to charge Mr. Cook with aiding terrorists and being an accessory to murder before and after the fact.

 


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