I Step Out & Max Shows His Cojones
I stayed up last night until 2 a.m. watching Mister Ed (got all six seasons on DVD), then didn’t get up until 10 a.m. It felt like I’d lost half the day.
I was down to my last stick of butter and running low on eggs. Plus, I’ve got this new meatloaf recipe I want to try and needed some ingredients. My favorite grocery is Aldi because Food Lion’s pricey, but then I procrastinated, putzing around in my nightgown until 2 p.m. and pushing off shopping until tomorrow.
But the car hadn’t been driven for 11 days, so I really needed to dislodge any squirrels who again might be snacking on the fuel line.
It’s sunny and 80s, so I went to my parents’. We sat out on their beautiful deck, bitching about Trump. That was the longest I’ve been outdoors since my father’s birthday on April 25.
On the drive home, the groceries kept gnawing at me. I had my list, and Food Lion was right there, so I stopped in for a few things I knew Aldi wouldn’t have, as well as meatloaf fixings in case I blow off Aldi again.
It’s now Virginia law to wear a mask in enclosed public places, but it’s not enforced. Food Lion had a few bare-faced assholes. They might as well tattoo I ♥ TRUMP across their faces. They couldn’t see my disgust under my mask, and we mutually avoided eye contact. It’s like they know we all know they’re scum.
But I digress. I scored the LAST jar of active yeast. And I got eggs and a pound of butter. Even better, Ben & Jerry’s ice cream was 3 for $10, so I got Phish Food, New York Super Fudge Chunk and Stephen Colbert’s Americone Dream. They’ll perfectly complement Mister Ed.
This morning, Max stunned me. Remember how I told you Max gains confidence from spending time with me? Well, he boldly claimed Roc’s favorite TV-watching spot on the couch…
He even napped and didn’t stir when Tony ambled by…
You can tell a cat is happy when he looks like a pretzel…
And when he stretches out to claim maximum territory…
Max remained in that spot the entire time I was gone, and he’s still there as I write this. Roc doesn’t seem to have noticed yet. It will be interesting to see what happens after dinner when I turn on the TV.
BONUS: Comedian and song writer Lauren Mayer wrote and performs a new song defending Karens and suggesting a more apt alternative. She doesn’t have Randy Rainbow’s slick production values, but her lyrics are every bit as clever. Check it out…
DOUBLE BONUS: Here’s an article on Raw Story that provides some historical context on how Karen became a four-letter word.