Today is Black Cat Appreciation Day

August 17, 2016

By Max and Roc

No, we are not making this up.

Even though we’ve had a two-legged black cat in the White House for almost eight years, the four-legged type continue to live under the shadow of human brainwashing about how evil we are.

We’re harmless. Just ask Karen. If living with black cats were dangerous, she’d have been dead years ago. Eight of the ten cats she’s adopted in her adult life have been black or black tuxedo. The only two exceptions were Adele and the late, great Fred, both pure white.

If you have a black cat, give him or her extra hugs and treats today. If you’re thinking maybe you’d like to get a cat, go straight to your nearest shelter and take home the blackest cat they have.

It’s a fact that black cats and dogs are the last to be adopted, even though we’re just as loving and we need good homes as much as tabbies and calicos. We may even be smarter because we’ve managed to survive over the centuries in spite of so many people being out to kill us.

For example, Roc will troubleshoot problems with your TV for a reasonable fee.

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And a tuxedo cat like Max makes a perfect plus-one at any elegant soirée.

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We’ve got brains and good looks. Who could ask for anything more?


A Cat Interviews Exaggerator

June 10, 2016

By Adele

No, the Exaggerator isn’t Donald Trump. He’s my 2016 favorite horse. I managed to pull strings for some cat-on-horse time before his last and longest Triple Crown race, the Belmont Stakes on June 11 (NBC, 5-7 p.m. ET).

In case you’re tuning in late, Exaggerator ran second to Nyquist in the Kentucky Derby, but then handed Nyquist his first-ever defeat in the Preakness.

We Skyped while the Ex Man rested up before the big day. (Shhh! Don’t tell Karen I stole her iPad!)

Adele: Are you bummed Nyquist won’t be racing? Everybody was hoping one of you would pull off two out of three Triple Crown wins.

Exaggerator: Yeah, that would have been a crowd-pleaser. But Nyquist ran a fever after the Preakness, so I’m glad his peeps showed some horse sense and let him rest.

But if Nyquist had run again and I won, I’d be remembered as “The Horse Who Missed the Triple Crown by 1 ½ Lengths.” That would have pissed me off, so I guess it’s all for the best.

Adele: After the Preakness, I heard your dad Curlin was handing out cigars at Hill ‘n’ Dale between his stud appointments. He called you a “chip off the old hoof.” After you ate Nyquist’s dust in four previous races, he’s proud you finally gave Nyquist a taste of your tail.

Ex: OK, I’ll admit, that felt great. Dad’s my inspiration, and filling his shoes ain’t easy. He was 2007 Horse of the Year, you know.

On the other hand, I did outrun him in the Derby because he came in 3rd. We both won the Preakness. He lost the Belmont by a head to a filly named Rags to Riches. If I end up losing, at least it won’t be to a girl.

Adele: Just watch out for Cherry Wine. He almost smelled victory in the Preakness, and he’s trying again at Belmont. Do you have a strategy?

Ex: Horses don’t do strategy. We leave that sneaky stuff to the jockeys. “Hug the rail or go wide? Hang back or set the pace? Whip or no whip?”

All we want to do is cross the finish line in one piece and get those little maniacs off our backs. You never see horses take racing too seriously. We don’t cry foul if we don’t come in first, or pick a fight with some horse who bumped us. Team mentality is for sled dogs and Clydesdales. We thoroughbreds just want to do our own thing, which is to run like the wind.

Adele: Cats aren’t into teams either, but Max, Roc, and I squabble just about every day. If I had hooves like yours, they’d both be dead.

Ex: You’re pretty tough for a fluffy white kitty. Remind me not to get on your bad side.

Adele: Just don’t step on my tail and you’ll be fine. You’re running again against two other horses I liked, Suddenbreakingnews from the Derby and Stradivari from the Preakness. If they were to place and show right behind you across that finish line, it would be my personal trifecta.

Ex: Thanks, Adele. I’m happy in post position 11, and they say I’m the favorite, so I’ll run this one for my feline fans. Keep your claws crossed!


Gorilla Mom Gets Off Scot-Free

June 7, 2016

By Adele

It comes as no surprise that no charges will be filed against the mother whose 3-year-old son climbed into the gorilla enclosure at the Cincinnati Zoo, causing an endangered silverback gorilla named Harambe to be shot to death.

Parents have circled the wagons yet again with a verdict that basically says, “Aw, she’s already suffered enough. Didn’t you hear how upset she sounded on the 911 call?” God forbid anyone should ever question a negligent parent’s competence or imply they could do better.

We learned from CBS This Morning that the mother visited the zoo with her son and three daughters, ages 1-7. She was with a friend who also had two children. So, two adults to watch six kids, including at least one infant.

The statement the mother’s family issued (quoted from CBS This Morning) said, in part…

“We are very pleased with the decision. It is what we expected.”

Of course it is. They go on their merry way while the zoo, which has never had a human breach its enclosures before, is now under investigation, and just sucks up its losses in its gorilla breeding program, not to mention the expense of reinforcing the barrier around the gorillas.

The tables turn to make this mother come off like the innocent victim of the zoo. At the very least, she should have been ordered to pay for the new barrier.

The mother was presented in court as a diligent parent whose child “just scampered off” while she turned away for a few seconds. It could happen to anybody, right?

Yes, it could, if you’re so stupid you pop out four kids in seven years, and then drag them to a place full of wild animals before they’re old enough to handle it.

Here’s my solution for these parents: Harnesses and leashes.

If your children can walk but don’t know how to behave in public, put them on leashes so they can drag you wherever they go. Then YOU can take responsibility for protecting them and stop expecting the world to do it for you.


No Justice for Harambe the Gorilla

June 2, 2016

By Adele

The sad end of Harambe the silverback gorilla is like Tatiana the tiger all over again. Humans behave with incredible stupidity and an innocent animal dies for it.

A 3-year-old boy visiting the Cincinnati Zoo wormed his way into the gorilla enclosure, where Harambe, a 17-year-old male found him, became excited, and was shot as he was dragging the child by his foot.

The boy suffered superficial injuries. Harambe is dead. And on the news this morning, we heard that the parents have decided not to sue the zoo. Indeed?

The zoo should not only sue the child’s mother, but she should also face criminal prosecution for reckless endangerment, or whatever they call not having the physical or mental equipment to keep your kids out of potentially deadly situations.

Witnesses reported the mother was debating the 3-year-old about climbing into the gorilla moat while being distracted by her other children.

The zoo says it did the right thing to shoot Harambe, and would do it again. But the zoo never should have been put in the position of having to sacrifice an animal they intended to breed to save his species from extinction. The mother should have rounded up her misbehaving litter and left the zoo immediately.

This isn’t just about Harambe. His death has implications for all his fellow gorillas and the breeding program. This Cosmopolitan article explains that.

When will people stop letting every ignorant, reckless parent who endangers or even kills a child get off with, “Oh, never mind. Nobody’s really to blame. She’s already suffered enough”?

I have no sympathy for that woman or her disobedient brat. He’s lucky to be alive. They both pushed safety precautions past their limits and absolutely NOTHING is being done to see that they don’t do it again somewhere else. Instead, the zoo is being investigated to see if can do better.

We’ll have to pad and wall off the whole planet so morons like this won’t hurt themselves.

When will parents ever face serious consequences for their inability to control or raise children with respect for animals, and it causes the animals’ destruction?


A Cat Gloats Over the Preakness – a Little

May 22, 2016

By Adele

It’s not often I take a victory lap when one of my Triple Crown prognostications pans out, but this time I can’t help it. I totally nailed it.

Yesterday, EXAGGERATOR OUTRAN NYQUIST AND WON THE PREAKNESS!

Before the race, only one of the talking heads on NBC agreed with me. They were all rooting for Nyquist.

OK, I have to admit that Cherry Wine snuck in out of nowhere and actually finished second but, if you’ll review the comments on my previous post and see where I responded to a demand from a Cats Working reader well-known to Roc as “Grumpy,” I boldly predicted that Exaggerator would outrun Nyquist and Stradivari, in that order. And that’s exactly how it went down, with Nyquist and Strad coming in 3rd and 4th.

There’s no doubt about it. I’ve still got the gift. Even if I do say so myself.

I’m doing my best to wrangle an interview with Exaggerator before the Belmont, so stay tuned.

PS: We were all deeply saddened to learn that actor Alan Young died on May 19 at age 96. He was the best friend of our all-time favorite horse, Mister Ed. Fortunately, Karen has the entire 5 ½ seasons of the show on DVD (available on Amazon) so we can get our Ed-and-Wilbur fix whenever we want one. You should try it. Even 50+ years later, Ed is still hilarious and often astute in a timely way.


Preakness Stakes: A Cat Torn Between Two Horses

May 20, 2016

By Adele

I regret to report that my favorite in the Kentucky Derby, Exaggerator ran second, missing the wire by only 1 ¼ lengths. He’s back for the 141st Preakness Stakes at Pimlico. (On NBC Saturday, May 21, post time approximately 6:45 p.m. ET.)

My second Derby pick, Suddenbreakingnews, came in fifth, which wasn’t too shabby, but he’s sitting out the Preakness.

Nyquist was the Derby favorite and he won it, flicking his tail in Exaggerator’s face for the 4th time and maintaining his unbeaten record. The Derby was Nyquist’s 8th win in a row. Can he make it nine in the Preakness?

Only 11 horses are running this time, and only Nyquist, Exaggerator and Lani also ran in the Derby two weeks ago. Lani came in 9th. At the Preakness, Lani will be in post position 6, odds 30-1.

For my treats, Exaggerator (pp 5, odds 3-1) and Nyquist (pp 3, 3-5) are the two to watch, because the Ex Man needs to avoid losing a 5th time to Nyquist or risk having it called his career.

Since Nyquist has a shot at the Triple Crown, I wish him the best. But I’ve got a thing for Exaggerator, and he’s got a score to settle with Nyquist for the honor of the Desormeaux stable.

You see, Exaggerator has a stablemate named Swipe (not running in the Preakness) who has also lost multiple times to Nyquist, coming in 2nd FOUR RACES IN A ROW.

So, if ever a horse had a target on his rump, it’s Nyquist, and the Preakness is Exaggerator’s best chance to serve him up a nice, big, cold plate of revenge.

Other than that, the Preakness is crawling with kids of Uncle Mo. In addition to Nyquist, there are his half-brothers, Uncle Lino (pp 2, 20-1), Laoban (pp 8, 30-1), and Abiding Star (pp 9, 30-1).

Keep an eye on Abiding Star. He’s the second most experienced horse in the field, with 11 races under his saddle. He’s won the last 5, so he’s definitely on a roll, even though his odds indicate not many agree with me.

The least experienced horse may also bear watching. He’s Stradivari (pp 11, 8-1), with only three previous races to his credit, but he won the last two.

Fellowship (pp 10) is the most experienced overall, with 12 races, but he only won two.

As always, we’re keeping 12 paws crossed that all the horses run a good race and cross the finish line safely.


A Cat’s 2016 Kentucky Derby Picks

May 5, 2016

By Adele

It seems like only yesterday that American Pharoah was winning the Triple Crown, but he’s retired now and living the good life. It’s time for new hooves to run for the roses in the Kentucky Derby. You can watch it on NBC May 7 from 4-7:30 p.m. ET (post time 6:34).

Studying this year’s field of 20, it was hard to find a favorite, but then one jumped out at me. Actually, two.

The first is Exaggerator, son of Curlin. Curlin was Big Brown’s all-round nemesis back in 2008. And here’s an interesting twist: Exaggerator’s going to be ridden by Brownie’s faithful jockey, Kent Desormeaux. The Ex Man pulled post position 11. He’s won four of his nine previous races, the most recent being the Santa Anita Derby on April 9, and his odds aren’t too bad at 8-1.

My treats are on Exaggerator to win.

My second pick is Suddenbreakingnews, who has won three of his eight previous races. His most recent race was the Arkansas Derby on April 16, where he came in second.

Sudden’s grandfather is Afleet Alex, who won the Preakness and the Belmont Stakes in 2005. Alex is another sentimental favorite of mine because of that moment in the Preakness stretch when Scrappy T bumped into Alex so hard, he nearly fell on his knees and threw his jockey, but then he recovered and WON THE RACE by 4 ¾ lengths!

Suddenbreakingnews’ pulled post position 2, which could put him in a tight spot by the rail. His jockey is Luis Quinonez. His odds are 20-1

And because I’m not into jinxing any horse’s chances, my third pick is the 3-1 favorite, unbeaten in seven previous races, Nyquist. He most recently won the Florida Derby on April 2. He’ll be in post position 13 under Mario Gutierrez.

Interesting FYI: Nyquist is competing against his half-brother, Outwork (post position 11, odds 15-1). They are both sons of Uncle Mo.

Another family tie I noticed was Destin (pp 9, 15-1) and Brody’s Cause (pp 19, 12-1), who are cousins that share a grandpa, Storm Cat.

Cats Working wishes all the horses good luck (because you never tell them to “Break a leg!” before a big race), and hopes all cross the finish line safely.


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