Trump Has Already Made Russia Our Greatest Ally

February 21, 2017

By Karen

Just not in the way Trump thinks.

While Trump keeps minions scurrying to mitigate the damage he inflicts daily on himself, Vladmir Putin watches, waits, and compiles a psychological dossier on Trump. When the two men meet face-to-face, we’ll hear Trump being played with such finesse, symphony conductors will melt in puddles of drool.

When Michael Flynn assured Russia’s ambassador that Trump might relax Obama’s sanctions, he actually sabotaged that possibility. If there’s one thing that terrifies congressional Republicans (besides Trump), it’s being perceived as Putin’s puppets.

After firing Flynn, Trump declared Flynn’s call a good idea, and that Trump “would have” ordered it himself (kind of reminds me of OJ Simpson’s book, If I Did It). Trump’s subtext was…

“Never fear, Vladmir, my future BFF. One of your boys had to go because he got caught, but I’ll make this up to you bigly. Trust me.”

Trump then dispatched Mike Pence to Europe, toting the baggage of being misled by Flynn and kept unaware of it by Trump, with orders to spread more lies like manure around the EU to hide Trump’s true intent to screw Western Europe.

Secretly, Pence just keeps smiling, reapplying his lipstick, and waiting in the wings for Mr. DeMille to tell him it’s time for his close-up, as Trump continues hacking an ever-widening path to his impeachment.

Meanwhile, Putin’s been pushing Trump’s buttons one by one — conducting cruise missile tests, buzzing U.S. naval vessels, trolling off our East Coast with his spy ship. He’s exploring what it will take for Trump’s ego to blurt-tweet that his dick is bigger than Vlad’s. So far, Trump has resisted the bait.

Trump naively believes Putin considers him an equally shrewd operator, playboy, and despot. But after a month of watching Trump boast, bully, and bumble, Putin knows the lying orange man-baby will never be a reliable ally, and he’s waiting for America’s disgust to build to a crescendo of cries for Congress to “DO SOMETHING!” about Trump.

But Congress will do nothing. Paul Ryan and Mitch McConnell will wring their hands and make excuses, while John McCain and Lindsey Graham whimper in a corner…

…Until Putin unleashes the damning-beyond-a-doubt dirt he collected on Trump in 2013 when Trump visited Moscow for the Miss Universe pageant.

Russia will force Congress to end Trump’s reign of terror.

You know, after Trump blabbered for years about being president and building Trump Tower Moscow, there’s no way Putin squandered his “golden opportunity” to spy on Trump on Russian soil and gain the upper hand, in case he ever needed it.

Our part in this is to continue mocking and resisting Trump’s idiocy until Putin knows that revealing his hand will bring lasting results.

Don’t cry for Trump. His own behavior makes his downfall inevitable. To have Putin confirm Trump’s probable financial corruption and possible perversity will be the coup de grâce.

The ultimate irony will be when Donald Trump forces Putin to deliver America from evil and, by default, become the most powerful leader on earth.


Let’s Make Laughter Trump’s Downfall

February 14, 2017

By Karen

I’ve been working on a Trump post for over a week, but the never-ending craziness eclipses what I write one minute with something worse the next.

Good news today is that national security advisor Michael Flynn threw himself on history’s trash heap as the Russian tool he’s always been. One down.

Sadly, Kellyanne Conway only got “counseled,” in lieu of the long suspension without pay she deserved, for giving Ivanka Trump a “free commercial” on Fox after Nordstrom abandoned her brand. T.J. Maxx, Marshalls, Neiman-Marcus, Sears, and Kmart are doing likewise. Conflict of interest’s loss.

We’ve got a 70-year-old baby rampaging through the White House in a loaded diaper, screaming for attention however he can get it, and nary an adult in sight with the guts to, literally, change him.

Steve Bannon keeps Trump occupied while Bannon foments World War III by sitting Donald at his desk, shoving a big felt tip in his stubby fist, and providing stacks of important-looking papers to scribble on while fawning toadies watch. Trump holds up his handiwork and everybody admires  his cleverness.

“Look, Donald just made a BIG boom-boom. What a gooooood boy!”

“Look, Donald just made a BIG boom-boom. What a gooooood boy!”

trump-execorder-1

Signing his name illegibly is the only job skill Trump has mastered so far.

Getting himself up to speed on North Korea’s ballistic missile test at Mar-a-Lago last weekend in front of country club diners was just Trump seeing a new opportunity to drop a big, fat presidential boom-boom for all to admire, including Japan’s prime minister.

But it wasn’t quite received that way.

As Trump displays daily his ignorance, arrogance, and disregard for facts, Congress rubber stamps the parade of unqualified ass-clowns Trump calls a cabinet. And Bannon churns out executive orders for Trump to sign without reading so Trump can take the fall when Bannon’s overreach and rookie mistakes go public.

What can concerned citizens do? I say we give Trump the Saturday Night Live treatment.

Laugh at Trump and every scumbag who enables him. Mock them mercilessly. Let Trump and his cronies be greeted everywhere with jeers and boos.

Trump’s a thin-skinned bully who can dish it out but can’t take it. Let’s make him take it from all sides, every minute, every day. The incompetent heads who lose face will start rolling out of the White House after Michael Flynn’s. To slowly, relentlessly waterboard Trump with derisive laughter will erode his sanity like nothing else can.

Watch how Trump made his mark on Scotland. They’ll be dancing in the streets the day we’re rid of him…

Every time we’re forced to listen to an ill-informed flunky spew nonsense, let’s respond with this…

Let’s dissect and reject the tactics of his dedicated lie-spewing machine…

I hope TV networks decide Kellyanne Conway adds nothing to meaningful discourse and stop booking her. Trump may threat-tweet, “See you in court!” but nobody’s First Amendment right to free speech guarantees air time. Let her start a blog.


Melania Trump, Second Fiddle First Lady

January 25, 2017

By Adele

After Donald Trump’s demeanor toward his trophy wife Melania on inauguration day, I get why she’s staying in New York with Barron. Maybe her absence will make Trump’s cold black heart grow fonder.

This video has been circulating, comparing how the Obamas and Trumps arrived at the White House on their big days. It’s telling…

NOTE 2/1/17: Aha, the video above is broken. Trump’s stifling of the First Amendment has begun. Fortunately, his boorish and dismissive behavior toward Melania during those moments is an irrefutable matter of public record…

Melania seems to know 10 paces behind Trump is the safest place to be.

And now watch both men and their wives at the inauguration ceremony…

Melania at 46 still looks like a model. Two days after the inauguration, January 22, was the Trump’s 12th wedding anniversary. I couldn’t find a word about Trump noting the occasion; most reports filled the void by mentioning a 25-carat diamond ring he gave her on their 10th.

Melania’s gift to Trump was to fly back to New York.

Melania’s blue Ralph Lauren ensemble for the inauguration was chic, if a bit matchy-matchy. Didn’t anyone tell her there was serious walking involved and she needed sensible heels? Her dogs must have been barking that night. Trump did throw her the bone of holding her hand as they strutted along the parade route.

Everyone expected the billionaire’s wife’s inaugural ball gown to mesmerize and eclipse anything in recent memory, including Michelle Obama’s first one, with wads of dryer sheets stuck all over it.

President Donald Trump, left, arrives with first lady Melania Trump at the Liberty Ball, Friday, Jan. 20, 2017, in Washington. (AP Photo/Patrick Semansky)

President Donald Trump, left, arrives with first lady Melania Trump at the Liberty Ball, Friday, Jan. 20, 2017, in Washington. (AP Photo/Patrick Semansky)

Apparently, Melania helped Hervé Pierre, formerly of Carolina Herrera, design the gown. The result was a dress that dragged on the ground, a flounce that made her look wider from the side, and a slit almost up to her hoo-ha. And what was with that red string around her waist? A secret shout-out to Putin?

But after seeing how Trump treated her all day, I can imagine how she instructed Pierre…

“I must not have anything too showy. Make it as plain and simple as possible. No beads, no sparkle. Donald will be very upset with me if I upstage him. He must be the center of attention at all times or it will go very bad for me, if you know what I mean.”

So Pierre did his best to gussy up a sackcloth. On the positive side, if Melania can fend off the Smithsonian and lose the belt, that gown will make a dandy bathing suit cover-up this summer.

BONUS: Here’s some backstory on their lavish wedding. Notice Melania’s scary eyes right after the ceremony.


Hillary, PLEASE Skip Trump’s Inauguration

January 18, 2017

By Karen

Dear Hillary,

What the hell are you and Bill thinking? After all the poor decisions during the campaign that caused you to blow it with the Electoral College, how can you add this boneheaded move to the pile? NOBODY wants to see you behind Trump as he gets sworn in to the job you should have gotten — except maybe Trump.

Forget the baloney about the “peaceful transfer of power.” That’s Obama’s hand-off to make, not yours, not Bill’s. Obama will have George W. Bush and Jimmy Carter watching his back. Three former presidents kowtowing to Trump will be stomach-churning enough.

Besides, Trump has no interest in peace. He never hesitates to verbally attack countries, world leaders (exception Putin), and even individual American citizens. And on Friday, this country hands him all our bombs and our military might. Do you really want to stand there and condone that?

You know Trump won’t resist gloating and smirking at you as he takes the job you worked so hard for. And when he does, the heads of the 2,864,974 more Americans who voted for you over Trump will explode. It will be the last straw after having the Electoral College spit on their votes.

Your presence in Washington will only stoke fury in hundreds of thousands of people who will be there on Saturday to protest Trump and every abomination he stands for. Do you really want to do that? Don’t you think Trump himself has already given people plenty to be incensed about without giving him the opportunity to diss you one more time?

Dozens of congress members won’t be there, nor will your successor, Secretary of State John Kerry. I’m begging you and Bill to follow their example and stay home.


Trump’s a Product of Poor Potty Training

January 10, 2017

By Karen

Donald Trump’s introduction to the toilet must have been so traumatic it’s influencing all his behavior today. My theory is that Trump’s nannies didn’t praise every boom-boom he made effusively enough to suit him so, as an adult, he wants to force the world to make it up to him.

It would be unseemly and messy for Trump to go around literally dropping deuces for all to admire, although I don’t rule it out in the future as his mind continues to unravel. Right now, his bathroom sessions mostly manifest as tweets.

Trump spends an inordinate time on Twitter. It’s like he’s trying to outdo himself by making every tweet stink more than the last, intended to dazzle and shock and elicit praise for his cleverness.

So far, we’ve seen Trump raise his leg on the established etiquette of quietly getting up to speed on his new job while the current president finishes his term undisturbed. Trump has pissed all over Obama’s recent decisions on Israel, Russia, and Gitmo. He’s sprayed diarrhea in the face of the media and our intelligence agencies. He tries to dominate every news cycle like a petulant brat who can’t stand NOT to be the adults’ center of attention.

He does all this while fomenting the Porta-Potty stench of nepotism, conflicts of interest, and even treason that will hang over Washington for the duration of his term like the rankest aftershave.

Trump obviously believes the more he reeks, the more attention he gets. And if it’s negative, that’s OK. It’s more fodder for his Twitter dumps.

We see Trump strut and preen, smirk and gloat like an evil toddler with a load in his pants, seeking to foul the shoes of the next grownup who crosses him. Just ask Meryl Streep, who decried at the Golden Globes everything Trump stands for…

His closest advisors (his son-in-law?) and billionaire cabinet members — unqualified, lacking appropriate experience, and some even opposed to the very existence of the entities they’ll oversee — are little more than a pile of steaming turds Trump’s shoveling at Congress with glee. We can only hope some get flushed during confirmation hearings.

At this point, it doesn’t matter who you voted for. No rational adult can be watching Trump’s boorish, fact-free, childishly destructive approach to running this country and not be filled with dread.

China already has Trump’s number, and it’s No. 2. To celebrate their upcoming Year of the Rooster, they erected in Taiyuan on Dec. 24 this giant sculpture with Trump’s hairstyle and hand gestures.

© STR/AFP/Getty Images

© STR/AFP/Getty Images


Watching Trump Play at Being President

December 12, 2016

By Karen

Donald Trump and his enablers are radiating crazy with LED intensity. When he isn’t preening for the stream of supplicants vying to be on his cabinet, he’s jetting off to “thank you” rallies where he babbles lies to fawning admirers. Like the Carrier workers in Indiana he duped by inflating the number of jobs not moving to Mexico, so as to appear a bigger savior. To bask in their grateful applause, he lied to 300 people’s faces that their livelihoods were safe.

He hasn’t even been sworn in yet, but he’s already re-elected himself, telling Fox that he’s blowing off daily intelligence briefings because, “I’m, like, a smart person. I don’t have to be told the same thing in the same words every single day for the next eight years.”

And now that the CIA is getting warmer on how Russia tipped the election scales, Trump’s calling their investigation “ridiculous.”

I believe Trump knew what Russia was doing, which was why he kept saying the election was rigged. He was pissed because he didn’t think it was working, until it did. Now he lies that he won “by a landslide” and that those 2.7 million more votes that went to Hillary were “illegal.”

Meanwhile, he may ask the head of ExxonMobil, Rex Tillerson, to be secretary of state. Vladmir Putin once pinned Tillerson with a friendship medal, so who other than Tillerson would more eagerly cover Donald and Vlad’s dirty tracks, whether they lead to ill-gotten votes or corrupt business deals?

Trump’s other cabinet choices look like a lead-footed Dancing with the Stars cast, heavy on Wall Street fat cats he dissed during the campaign, and generals for whom he expressed nothing but contempt. Sprinkled in is cannon fodder — Ben Carson for HUD — who will give Trump his first cue to bellow, “You’re fired!” when Trump needs to distract us from some criminal activity.

Two other light-weights being considered are Sarah Palin for Veterans Affairs (341,000 employees serving nearly 22 MILLION veterans when she couldn’t hack governing 740,000 in Alaska), and Rick Perry for Energy, a department Perry wanted to abolish in 2012.

The emerging pattern is Trump’s intent to head every agency with a person who, if unable to undermine by imposing upon it contradictory ideology, to bring it down through sheer incompetence. Trump must think federal agencies threaten his omnipotence, so they have to be crippled or destroyed.

And conflicts of interest with his businesses and family financial interests already feel ingrained in his every move.

Trump plans to continue as an executive producer of The Apprentice, which compromised all NBC journalists, his co-workers. Kellyanne Conway nonsensically compared Trump’s dabbling in Apprentice to Obama playing golf.

Let’s not forget Trump’s other hobby — cyberbullying private citizens on Twitter.

Carrier union leader Chuck Jones accurately said Trump “lied his ass off” about the number of union jobs he saved, so Trump tweeted that Jones had done a “terrible job” representing workers. That was enough for Trump’s groupies to send Jones death threats.

Consistent with his behavior campaigning, our future president incites violence against private citizens he thinks have crossed him. Does this make him a petty, egomaniacal dictator yet?

The world watches while this ignorant maniac assembles a gaggle of racists, hawks, backward-thinkers and know-nothings destined to sow chaos from the moment he’s inaugurated.

My only consolation is that Melania’s not moving into the White House with him. The longer she stays away, the more I respect her. She knows he’s dragged her in way over her head, and to limit her and her son’s exposure to Trump’s insatiable need to be worshipped can only be a good thing.


Coping with the Trump Transition

November 16, 2016

By Karen

My depression hit rock-bottom last Sunday over Donald Trump’s dominance in the Electoral College. You’ll never hear me say Trump “won” this election because he didn’t. Trump lost the actual vote by 797,724 as of Nov. 15, according to Politico.

To restore my sanity, I’ve made some temporary changes in how I receive news because the thought of Trump holding the reins of this country makes me want to vomit.

I skipped the 60 Minutes interview. The few snippets I couldn’t evade indicated that Trump’s already backpedaling on the wall, deportation, and eliminating Obamacare. I hope his worshippers are keeping score.

I’ve temporarily stopped watching MSNBC. I don’t need Rachel Maddow or Lawrence O’Donnell’s speculations because Trump is telling the media NOTHING. Since Trump and most of his hangers-on have no idea what they’re doing, their course can change from minute to minute. Waiting until things are in place saves some churning.

I’ve stopped watching morning news shows. I only read the newspaper — on paper, not online. Trump’s machinations are easier to handle in print, where I don’t have to hear his voice spewing out of his pink blowhole, nor see his saggy orange face.

Photo - CNBC

Photo – CNBC

I commend Ben Carson for turning down Trump’s offer to become secretary of health and human services or education because he “has no experience running a federal bureaucracy.” I wonder what the hell Carson thought being president entailed, if not presiding over the WHOLE federal bureaucracy?

For now, it’s enough to be outraged that Steve Bannon has become Trump’s Machiavelli. We now know Trump intends to have a grubby, bottom-feeding, hate-mongering racist constantly whispering in his ear. Let’s hope bipartisan outrage makes Trump rethink that decision.

As for the rest of it, I’m waiting to see where the chips fall. Chris Christie seems to be toast. Rudy Giuliani and Newt Gingrich will probably snag positions at their highest levels of incompetence, where they can soon disgrace and embarrass Trump into saying, “You’re fired!”

Trump still clings to Twitter as his best means of communication. By not cooperating with journalists in the least, he’s creating a vacuum they will fill, and it won’t be to Trump’s glory. Meanwhile, the public will grow more fearful and angry with nothing to go on but Trump tweeting lies, empty promises, flip-flops, and attacks on anyone who has ever crossed him.

My most fervent hope at this point is that Inauguration Day is gale-force windy. While Trump is taking the oath of office, may an icy blast blow that orange ferret off his head, letting the whole world see the reality of the vain, arrogant, ignorant buffoon a majority of voters DID NOT choose to be our leader.


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