Tony Bourdain (the Cat) Confidential

By Karen, with Tony’s permission

Our wild child Tony B. is letting me share more intimate details of his lifestyle with you.

But first, let’s correct misconception about this angelic face. Tony is neither cuddly nor a cuddler. He allows a daily designated time to display affection (keep reading), and that’s it. His demeanor toward me is cordial and mostly respectful, but I sense he’s always aware of maintaining his personal space.

Although fully equipped to shred, he’s not one to flash claws and scratch in anger. But he will bite if you pet him — hard enough to make a point, but not draw blood. It’s probably a hand phobia from his earliest kittenhood when he had lots of medical issues, and we’re still working to overcome that.

Otherwise, he’s extremely sensitive and gentle. If he wants something, he’ll pat my leg with a soft paw, never claws. He totally understands boundaries. If he’s engaged in mischief and I firmly say “Tony, no,” he backs right off and looks concerned that he offended me.

Mornings, Tony seems to know the second I wake up. He has a signature move to signal his arrival, which is to flap his huge bat ears. Only Tony’s ears make that distinctive sound.

Then he leaps onto the bed to knead his favorite blankie, kept there so I can lure him in for a few minutes of “Pet Practice.” When he’s all kneaded out, he’ll settle quietly beside me and let me pet him without biting.

If he lasts five minutes, it’s a win, and it’s the only time we spend affectionately together all day.

He enjoys scoping out the neighbors from the big kitchen window…

“Hmm… hope that little human doesn’t pee on our bushes like the dogs do.”

Being a highly private cat, Tony recently staked out a me-space in my closet that the late Adele preferred in her final months. I put a bed in there fearing he might never return because I had intruded, but he seems to appreciate it…

“At times a kitty needs to get away from it all. And by ‘all,’ I mean Roc.”

The Man Cave Café (a.k.a. bathroom) recently got a new lounge…

“No, I haven’t leaked my butt all over the tub. I’m on a rug, silly!”

Since I used Gerber baby food a few years ago to trick Max into taking meds for a cold, Max gets a spoonful of chicken or turkey for breakfast, the only wet food he’ll touch. Tony never fails to materialize on the counter as soon as he hears the clink of the little spoon I use because he has to lick it clean. It’s his special little treat, and he never asks for more or tries to steal Max’s. He has a highly developed sense of fair play.

When I do my Calm app meditation, once Max vacates, Tony will occasionally drop by. As gentle as he is, he has no qualms about walking all over me, which would include my face if it’s in his path…

“Are we meditating yet?”

On this day, he immediately lost interest in me, sauntered over to Roc napping by the sliding door, who told him to scram. When Tony returned, you can see the second he realized I was filming him, which always makes him self-conscious. You can catch his meow if you listen closely…

The gray kitty perch has become Tony territory (he lets Roc maul the sisal posts), where he hangs out most evenings while we watch TV…

“Nothing like a little nap before bedtime.”

Other times, Tony throws himself on the floor as if he wants his belly rubbed, but I know he’s bluffing…

“Come on, it’s so cute. Rub it. You can trust me.”

Before we all head off to bed, Tony enjoys a snack of graham crackers [Note: HONEY grahams only; cinnamon is very bad for cats]…

“My sweet tooth MUST be fed!”

I think Tony sleeps upstairs with Max on the Man Cave sofa because maybe it feels cooler right by the window during our steamy nights…

“Downward Cat pose always gives me the best dreams.”

9 Responses to Tony Bourdain (the Cat) Confidential

  1. Donna says:

    Tony,Zappa loved vanilla wafers. Do you recommend graham crackers to my feline houseguests?

  2. catsworking says:

    Donna, be sure you get ONLY honey grahams, no cinnamon, because cinnamon is very bad for cats. Hmm… I’ve never tried Vanilla wafers, but I bet I would love them. Cats aren’t supposed to taste sweet, but I definitely do!

    I’m also very fond of shredded cheese, chedder or mozzarella.

    Kate, thank you for calling me a “cutie”! That’s not exactly what Roc and Max call moi.

  3. What a handsome fellow this Tony is. Named after the late, great Anthony Bourdain?

  4. catsworking says:

    Welcome, justdrive! Yes, Tony was named after Anthony Bourdain. You can read in this archived post how he arrived and came by it honestly…

    Cats Working Welcomes “The New Kid”

  5. phesina says:

    AWWWWWwwwww!!! You’re gorgeous, Tony B.! Happy Birthday #3!

    Love from Sparkler and Tinker and Pat

  6. catsworking says:

    Thank you, Pat! I turned 3 back in June, so I’m working toward Feisty 4 these days. Give my regards to Sparkler and Tinker. I assume they’re cats, not dogs!

  7. Cindy says:

    An “A. B.” alert for anyone interested…
    “Roadrunner” is being rerun on CNN tonight.
    (Happy Birthday to Tony, you are just as gorgeous as the original.)

  8. catsworking says:

    Thanks Cindy! We have watched Roadrunner several times because Karen has the DVD. It always makes us teary. My birthday is June 6, 2019, oddly 2 days before the 1-year mark. As we worked on this post, Karen was struck by the similarities in our personalities. (Me and AB that is). Do I think I am him come back as a cat? No. But a bit of channeling isn’t out of the question, especially considering the little paranormal incidents she’s had since I got here. But it’s all
    good. If I bring his spirit here, we welcome it. Tony

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