FINALLY! Garland Gouges Trump’s Teflon

By Karen

They say payback is hell, and Trump’s finally tasting what the January 6 Capitol ransacking felt like to the rest of us – just without the broken windows and feces on the walls.

Yesterday morning, FBI agents executed a search warrant for hours in Trump’s personal residence at Mar-a-Lago while Trump’s security detail twiddled and watched. The resort itself was closed for the summer, so no golfers were harmed in the raid.

“They even broke into my safe!” Trump whined from the safety of New York, where he’s apparently holing up in Trump Tower for his deposition for AG Letitia James’ civil investigation into his shady business.

(Ivanka and Junior have already given their depositions after a temporary postponement to ditch their mother Ivana’s corpse on Trump’s Bedminster golf course so Trump could get a cemetery exclusion and evade property, sales and income taxes.)

The FBI doesn’t convince judges to allow search-and-seizures without a firm belief they’ll find crime. It’s public knowledge that Trump stole documents on his way out, some so top-secret that the National Archives, which had already repoed 15 boxes from him, couldn’t even describe them.

This happened just as Trump’s former campaign manager Paul Manafort admits he was not helping Trump, but fostering his own future business deals with Russians when he gave sensitive campaign data to his buddy Konstantin Kilimnik.

Hmm… Selling secrets to Russians. And Trump happened to steal some from the White House. Connect the dots?

Remember when Trump was kvetching about how toilets take 10-15 flushes? He wasn’t lying but engaging in his second favorite fact-bending, projection. New photos just surfaced of paper with Trump’s 2nd grade Sharpie printing in various toilet bowls. Here’s one…

Naturally, Republicans are furious over the FBI’s outrageous invasion of a former president’s privacy. But over Hillary’s emails, they spent five years screaming “LOCK HER UP,” and would have been dancing jigs had the FBI raided a former First Lady/U.S. Senator/Secretary of State.

With two grand juries and now this residential raid, it seems like Merrick Garland is finally taking a sharp nail to Donny’s Teflon, and it’s not a moment too soon.

May the unfamiliar sense of impending doom cause Trump to stress-eat more junk food, sleep even less and lose the remaining fragments of his mind — preferably in public.

Then when he announces he’s running for president — it will be soon, because he fantasizes it makes him untouchable — the laughter of the 81 million who voted him out in 2020 (and new converts who have finally had enough of his shit) will ring in his ears like a bad case of tinnitus.

Speaking of Trump’s addled mind, his faithful dead ferret apparently leaped from his head and into Ivana’s golden casket with her. Trump appeared at a rally in Wisconsin last week in what looked like a poorly matched, Hitler-style toupee from the George Will collection…

3 Responses to FINALLY! Garland Gouges Trump’s Teflon

  1. Donna says:

    Exhume Ivanka,the really good shit got buried with her

  2. Donna says:

    Oops I meant Ivana. Though Dump does have a hard time figuring out who’s a wife and who’s a daughter

  3. catsworking says:

    Donna, I agree with you on both counts. I have no doubt that Trump would have thrown the REALLY incriminating stuff into his wife’s coffin, thinking they’d never look there. And once the feds have a chance to assess what they took from Mar-a-Lago, it won’t surprise me if they get search warrants for his other homes.

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