New Facts on Bourdain’s Final, Fatal Attraction

By Karen

CORRECTION: It’s been pointed out to me that I got my wires crossed in the 5th paragraph below (now crossed out) about the divorce. I erroneously linked back to my blog post of February 2017 where People had just announced Bourdain was dating Asia Argento. The replacement paragraph has a correct link to the original September 2016 Page Six article about the divorce.

I’ve felt like a mouse bumping into blank maze walls while trying to uncover what led Anthony Bourdain to die June 8 by suicide. But I’ve gained a few insights from a source I can’t name (sorry!) who’s close enough to the situation to have unquestionable validity. Please, just trust me.

First, I’ve been completely wrong to suspect Tony suffered from an underlying medical condition. The rumor about Parkinson’s is untrue. He had a thorough health exam several weeks ago and checked out fine, although he’d resumed smoking and drinking heavily while involved with Asia (which anyone could see).

Tony’s ashes were returned to New York on Friday, June 15, to his brother Chris. I believe there’s still no decision among his close family on how to pay proper final respects. Knowing Tony’s disdain for pomp and formality, he didn’t leave them many options.

We’ve established that Tony was with Asia in spring 2016 filming Parts Unknown in Rome. He was still living with Ottavia and Ariane in New York City at the time, although they were all amicably doing their own thing.

In February 2017, Tony told Page Six that he and Ottavia had been apart for some time, which blindsided her and Ariane. He then got his own apartment, but continued to be involved in Ariane’s daily routine whenever he was in town.

Correction: On September 19, 2016, Page Six ran an article based on “sources close to” the Bourdains who said they had officially separated, had been estranged for a while, and that “there was no one else involved.” Hmmm… Actually, they had recently returned from their annual family vacation together in the Hamptons. The public announcement came as a surprise to Ottavia and Ariane, but Ottavia went along and confirmed it with a carefully worded statement. Tony then moved out and got his own apartment.

He eventually confessed to Ottavia that the separation announcement was at Asia’s urging, presumably so she could step up as Tony’s new partner, which was announced in February 2017.

As he did with first wife Nancy when he met Ottavia, Bourdain took no further steps toward divorce. He said recently he never intended to marry again. He still spent holidays and special occasions with his family in New York.

However, you won’t find those good times anywhere because friends were careful not to post them to help Tony keep Asia believing his split with Ottavia was solid and permanent.

I don’t know how Asia expected him to spend five days a month with Ariane, which he mentioned often with fondness, without seeing her mother, but she’s never been known for clarity of thought.

Basically, Asia demanded that Tony lead a double personal life, in addition to his grueling, nonstop professional schedule.

Ottavia’s social media accounts show scant, if any, mentions of her husband after the separation was announced. I thought it was their mutual agreement to move on. But, to borrow words from Princess Diana, it was more because there were now “three in the marriage, so it was a bit crowded.”

Although still legally married to Tony and raising his child, Ottavia essentially became “the other woman.”

I’ve also verified the account by the unnamed friend in People who revealed that Tony was so besotted with Asia, it raised red flags among his friends. The word used to describe it to me was “brainwashed.”

To keep my source’s anonymity safe, I can’t provide more detail now. Suffice it to say that Asia kept the affair tempestuous, and Tony would do anything to keep her happy.

The sad irony is that Bourdain proudly claimed his success was due to his finely honed bullshit detector that helped him avoid assholes. In the end, he got suckered by an asshole who shoveled more bullshit on him than he could live with.

Blogspot blogger Bruce Elliott: Geriatric Genius had good rapport with Tony whenever he was in Chicago. Bruce has written eloquently about Bourdain, Asia and Rose. I can’t sum it up any better than he did in his post describing Tony’s ultimate despair, “To Be Crushed In The Winepress Of Passion”

“I don’t think tears of jealousy filled his eyes when he saw the photos of Hugo and Asia. I think it was her calculated vindictiveness. Instead of jealousy, I think he was overwhelmed with humiliation.”

AND: For the record, this article for the Hollywood Reporter from June 2 may stand as the last writing for publication Tony ever did. He describes living his “cinematic dream” of shooting the now-infamous Hong Kong episode. He effusively praised Asia and her work ethic, although Instagram posts by justicefortony and others describe her as a nightmare.

I believe them because Bourdain rendered his whole tale suspect by disingenuously marveling at how Zach Zamboni and two other photographers were lucky enough to be “mentored” by Christopher Doyle.

Zach Zamboni, Bourdain’s long-time director of photography, has earned three Primetime Emmys and seven nominations for his cinematography, yet Tony FIRED Zach in Hong Kong for allegedly disagreeing with Asia about something.

In this article, Tony also revealed he had gotten an Asia tattoo. Scant honor, since he described his body art as like adding dents to an old car. In any case, they’re all ashes now.


236 Responses to New Facts on Bourdain’s Final, Fatal Attraction

  1. Ann86 says:

    Thank you for your continued research.

  2. Erica says:

    Hi. I just found your blog via a link in a message on the justice for Tony Instagram. I’ve been following this with absolute horror and disbelief since Bourdain died, horror because I can’t understand why Asia would behave so cruelly, so lacking in heart, and disbelief because a truly unique voice has gone forever and so tragically.
    You know what occurred to me? The incident with the “f*** everyone” t shirt, Asia says that this message was aimed at people who didn’t like what she had to say at Cannes. So why did she take it down, someone asked… “because it was inappropriate”, apparently. Hmm. So this t-shirt and message that went with it, that was inappropriate, but Asia acting like she doesn’t give a crap about her “lover, her protector, her rock” (who is she kidding with this shit by the way?), smiling, laughing and getting her kid to flip the bird/cuss at the camera – that’s all a-ok and fine and totally appropriate?! What gives? I say BULL and she knows damn well that “f*** everyone” message was meant for someone else.
    Another thing…. Rose and her bleeding heart statement about Asia needing to work to support her kids, she’s talking about her like Asia is having to work minimum wage shifts in a bar to make ends meet and isn’t stinking of wealth. Talk about having a break from reality or what! Who’s she kidding, does she think we’re going to applaud her bravery for having a wild time on x-factor, laughing it up and expecting us to believe this is just some special way that she’s grieving?
    Sorry, I had to get that out, was driving me crazy. I will keep watching and hope the truth does prevail… and not in the way that asia seems to think!’

  3. catsworking says:

    Welcome, Erica! I haven’t even read your whole comment but I can tell you are just my kind of people. Glad you found Cats Working. Asia’s behavior, aside from the “love, rock, protector” post, has been deplorable. It’s all about her. And now she’s cavorting around like Tony never existed.

    I feel very sorry for Asia’s kids. There doesn’t seem to be any adult in the family who isn’t a depraved, sexually deviated lunatic. They don’t have a chance.

    I’m just so thankful she doesn’t live in this country. We’re up to our ears in arrogant, deluded, insatiable narcissist at the moment. No room for another one.

    The truth is going to come out. We’ll keep digging. And I don’t think anything about it will help Asia’s “career,” such as it is. When she’s carting her tits around in a wheelbarrow as a dumpy old Italian woman with a cigarette dangling from leathery lips that once kissed a dog, she’ll be telling anybody who will listen about her days with Bourdain, the pinnacle of her miserable life.

  4. catsworking says:

    Ann, you’re very welcome. Asia’s not going to have the last word on this. I forget the nasty names she called Tony’s fans, but she’s going to learn that we’re a bigger force online than she can ever hope to be with her incoherent raving about herself and her victimhood.

  5. feijicha says:

    “carting her tits around in a wheelbarrow as a dumpy old Italian woman with a cigarette dangling from leathery lips that once kissed a dog, she’ll be telling anybody who will listen about her days with Bourdain, the pinnacle of her miserable life.” Fantastic!

    The more I think about this miserable piece of excrement, the sadder I am, because somehow she got into Tony’s head….. he probably unwisely shared many of his deepest anxieties and insecurities with her, thinking he’d indeed found a soulmate, and she just found the right time and place to push all those buttons in him and trigger some horrible sense of failure or humiliation or gullibility in him. I’m beyond heartbroken that he couldn’t see past her, that she would become just a footnote in his life. Maybe she made him feel the world would see him as one of the oldest cliches in the world, the old fool who fell for a exploitive younger woman. Or maybe, even more sadly, he felt guilt about having let this pig get between him and his family.

  6. Randi says:

    Thanks for sharing this, Karen. I more and more get the feeling that Asia “had something on Tony” that he under no circumstances wanted out in the public. Why else would he do so much to please her, and even fire his long-time friend Zack! In my opinion, quite a few things point that way… his support of her speech in Cannes, getting a tattoo of her, and letting her produce one of his shows, even though his crew are a lot more talented.

  7. Morganlf says:

    “A pack of idle dogs” is how she referred to us.

    Idle? Not so much. You’ve done a beautiful job, Karen telling truth. And justicefortony has accurately documented his last days. Her screaming calls interrupting the shoot. Her monumental drunken, high tantrums…nothing we didn’t already suspect.

    I can vouch that your sources are always impeccable.

    I can reiterate, the wagons have circled…oh and Asia, you ain’t seen nothin’ yet.

  8. feijicha says:

    I don’t know, Randi. It’s possible. I keep coming back to this bit in Bruce Elliott’s blog, quoting Asia herself:

    One minute Anthony is “One of the wisest, kindest, and superior men that ever lived,” and then a few days later, “Tony embellished his own amours considerably. His love for me never existed, or if it did was much exaggerated. Our relationship was a tragically absurd, satirical burlesque. It is hardly necessary for me to offer anyone an explanation for my actions, especially an explanation to his vulgar admirer’s, who are nothing more than a pack of idle dogs.”

    The second bit, about his love never existed, their relationship was an absurd burlesque…. I can see her sickly sticking the knife in, telling him she never loved him, and that she didn’t believe he ever loved her, after everything he did to prove his love to her. She is just one sick, cruel, fuck.

  9. Ann86 says:

    I felt so much sympathy for her at first. In my early 20’s, my ex fiance attempted suicide after we tried to dissolve our relationship and I had cheated. I didn’t want to place any blame on Asia. In my own situation at the time, I came to accept that my ex’s suicide attempt wasn’t my fault. Fast forward about a decade and I realize that yes, the decision was his, but he was also a very broken and fragile person who I had a responsibility to be honest to and careful with and I should have dissolved the relationship in a far more kindly way. I didn’t have those skills and understanding at 23 but I sure as hell have them now and I don’t see why she doesn’t have them at 42. She should have known him better than most. If you spend just a little time reading/watching his work you know that he had to fight to stay on the right side of optimism sometimes. Did she even care to know him? She screams superficiality. I just want her to own up to the truth and accept that she isn’t the person she is trying to sell everyone on social media. That’s a hard thing to face, but it needs to happen. In the meantime, I sincerely appreciate anyone who is doing the work of sharing the truth.

  10. Tracy Moses says:

    Karen, I’ve been devouring every word on this blog and its comments trying, like everyone else, to make sense of this tragedy. I pretty much knew from the get-go that it would be about Asia (even before I saw the photos) but it’s SO much worse than I could have ever imagined. I was standing in line at Walgreens today, staring at Tony’s face on the cover of People and just shaking my head wanting to cry. That woman is just evil.

  11. Bex says:

    Thank you very much for your research into this, Karen! It makes me so angry and every single time I think about Ottavia and Ariane, I am so heartsick.

    I was wondering if your source had any insight into Ottavia about all of this (and if you can’t divulge for fear of revealing your source, I understand completely!). Why did she stay married to him after he was so obviously with Asia? Did she think that Tony would eventually get over this crisis of Asia and come back? Or was it something as simple as it made more sense for them to stay married logistically?

  12. Francis Alan Wormald says:


  13. L.Villeneuve says:

    Now I’m reading all this stuff that AA’s entire family is into ” gothic occult” which includes mind control. She calls herself a red witch and belongs to the “Occult Research Club”. She has ever inculcated that beautiful young boy of hers. Not a chance that little guy, tragic.

  14. Lynn says:

    I’m finding all this is getting to be a huge headache. I do not get why people are afraid to ‘speak out’. If people who knew and loved Tony know the truth, why not come out with it? Why all the Michael Avenatti-style teasing of tidbits on Instagram like we’re on a reality show? This IS reality, folks.

    Why is Bruce Elliot the only one with the balls to speak honestly about this in a non-anonymous way? Who are they afraid of – Asia? Afraid of what, that she will sue them? Surely it’s not to protect Ottavia because she sounds like another ‘victim’ in all this and if I were her, I’d want the truth to come out about a woman she must detest. The only person whom it makes sense would stay quiet is Ottavia, because she would sound like the spurned wife.

    Karen, I don’t doubt that you have good sources, but unless Ottavia is your source I’m not clear how the person could possibly know this: “Tony told Page Six that he and Ottavia had been apart for some time, which blindsided her and Ariane.”

    It sounds like you’re saying this was a case of cheating behind O’s back. That things were fine as far as O knew and then bam, he’s sleeping with Asia (like what Brad Pitt did to Jen with Angelina), which makes Tony a bit of a jerk for cheating on his wife. But if there was trouble in the marriage pre-Asia, a mutual agreement to live ‘separate ‘lives’ as Tony claimed (even if still technically in the same apt), it doesn’t add up that O would be shocked that Tony might meet someone knew.

    Given that Tony was a celeb, even if he hadn’t made an official announcement about the ‘separate lives’, word would have gotten out eventually that he was seeing Asia (it only takes one sighting). I can see the Daily Mail now: “Cheating Tony!” So it’s not like he could have gone on “secretly” seeing Asia. Unless O was OK with an open marriage, the whole ‘double personal life’ doesn’t make sense. What woman is okay with her husband seeing another woman while ‘pretending’ to still be happily married unless she has hopes they can reconcile? Even Princess Diana eventually had enough of that BS. That would make O somewhat of a doormat and she doesn’t seem like the ‘wait around for a man’ kinda woman.

    “I don’t know how Asia expected him to spend five days a month with Ariane without seeing her mother.”

    Couples who separate often see the kid(s) separately. If he had his own apt, why couldn’t Ariane have stayed there with him for 5 days, then go back to Ottavia’s place?

    “help Tony keep Asia believing his split with Ottavia was solid and permanent.”

    That makes Tony sound duplicitous toward both women, but then most men are when they cheat on their wives so that wouldn’t shock me.

  15. Lilian says:

    Reading all of this has been really hard, but it’s making my original theory that much stronger. Rose and Asia make me sick. That video? The open letter? Do they have no class or empathy? One day Tony’s daughter will have to read that, if she hasn’t already. Ottavia should sue them for slander – if she can; not sure of laws in NY.

    I hope that the truth eventually comes out. The only question I have is this: why would Ottavia stay married to Tony when this was going on? She always presented as a super badass who would not have put up with this shit.

  16. catsworking says:

    feijicha, I had to laugh at seeing my description again. It was almost Bourdainian.

    Yes, I think she did find where all his chinks were and turn them against him when she needed more leverage. Very sad to think that our Tony, the savvy, sophisticated citizen of the world, got played by a common skank.

  17. catsworking says:

    Randi, I don’t know that she had any deep, dark secret on him. But he may have been aware of what she was capable of and feared for the safety of his loved ones if he crossed her.

    It’s been reported that she’s been calling CNN since he died. Why, except to cause trouble?

    But she also must be aware of Ottavia’s expertise in MMA and would rather not face her. Asia can talk a lot of shit online, but faced with a truly smart, tough woman who’s the legal WIFE, I’d give Asia the same odds as ice cream surviving on a hot sidewalk.

  18. catsworking says:

    Morgan, I think she used “savages” in there somewhere. She should know savages.

    Funny she called us idle dogs. Maybe that’s a good thing. She only like to make out with employed dogs. 😉

    How she thinks denigrating Tony’s fans helps her in this situation is a mystery. Just shows what contempt she really held him in. It was all about using his name to get ahead, or to get him to support her financially.

    Before this is over, she’s going to be screaming, “WHO LET THE DOGS OUT??!!”

  19. catsworking says:

    Welcome, Ann86, and thank you for sharing your very personal story.

    You hit on a good point. Anyone who watched his shows with any attention knew that beneath the bravado was a sensitive person. If you read his books, you knew even more how deep his feelings went. Not that I think Asia ever read a word he wrote if it wasn’t about her.

    It was like she turned his sensitivity against him to punish him. For what? For loving her?

    When she called their love a “burlesque,” that was her perspective. It’s called projection. Trump does is constantly. Accuse the other person of what you yourself are doing.

    To pretend there was never really a relationship absolves her of all blame. Just like when she had Rose claim their relationship was “open” to justify Asia cheating on Tony.

    If she didn’t give a shit, then why the zeal to separate him from Ottavia and isolate him from his friends and crew? Her behavior was classic abuser.

  20. catsworking says:

    Tracy, I saw him on one publication at the grocery checkout last week, but it was kind of too soon for much coverage in the periodicals. It will be interesting to see what slant the Enquirer takes. I foresee a close-up on the front page of Tony looking his most old and exhausted and claiming he was dying of Parkinson’s or worse.

    BTW, I was running errands earlier and happened by Popeye’s, so I picked up dinner. They don’t have mac & cheese at mine! That’s what I wanted most.

    Well, I’m sitting here now feeling like I just ate lead. What did Bourdain see in that nasty chicken? Yuck!

  21. Adele Prass says:

    So did Asia have some kind of a goth spell on Tony? I remember reading in Medium Raw, that he said he dealt with the breakup of his first marriage with philandering, but as I recall, the way he said it, made me believe that this was really atypical behavior for him. And I would have thought he would have been exquisitely sensitive to Ariane’s feelings. His preseparation involvement with Asia makes me believe that something snapped in him at that time, and it was a downward spiral to suicide.Looking at Asia, I keep thinking, “coke,” and I wonder if he was using again.

    I never believed he had Parkinson’s, because I’ve been around many people who’ve had it, and he lacked any tremor or mask-like face. I think what made his face look so different, aside from the crags and the aging, was the sad and haunted look in his eyes.

    I had two hints that Ottavia and Tony’s “mutual” separation was not as amicable as portrayed. Several months ago, I saw something on Twitter, which of course, I can’t find, in which Ottavia was thanking someone for something, and she said something to the effect of, “2017 was a very difficult year, but you made it a little better.” And on her instagram post with the picture of Ariane and the band, her, “Have a nice trip, wherever you are;” seemed snide.

    Throughout the Trump immigration crisis, I’ve longed to hear Tony’s voice, But most of all, the thought that Ariane is left without a father at an even younger age than Tony was, is simply heartbreaking.

  22. dingus says:

    YOu have your facts wrong about his breakup with Ottavia: “One morning in August [2016 look at when this article was published.], I got an e-mail from Bourdain letting me know that he and Busia were separating. “It’s not much of a change of life style, as we have lived separate lives for many years,” he wrote. “More of a change of address.” Bourdain felt some relief, he told me: he and Busia no longer needed to “pretend.”

  23. catsworking says:

    Bev, I can give you a simple answer without revealing my source. The fact is that Tony DID NOT want a divorce. He was given the option and declined. I think they must have agreed to put Ariane first and continue being a family until she was grown. He publicly said he would never marry again, implying in so many words no divorce, but people just assumed he’d already gotten it.

    Asia was so insecure, he had to make her think he’d cut ties with Ottavia, which he did on the surface by getting his own place. I think he spent last August in the Hamptons with Ottavia and Ariane, as usual.

    And good thing he didn’t divorce. When he died, Ottavia as his wife was clearly next of kin. Asia couldn’t have inserted herself into that circus even if she wanted to. Can you imagine what would have happened if she’d tried to assert any rights over his body or possessions?

  24. catsworking says:

    Asia was raised by X-rated Morticia and Gomez so her occult interests don’t surprise me. You have to go a long way to find a person who embodies so much of what is sexual deviant and morally repugnant. Her kids are so screwed.

  25. Adele Prass says:

    I love that you had a Tony tribute meal from Popeye’s, Karen. He loved their mac and cheese. I had it once years ago, and I can’t see how a man, who’d had no doubt great soul food mac and cheese could find Popeye’s even tasty, but we all have our secret crappy comfort foods. Every so often, I crave a Quarter Pounder, and when I order it, I always hear Tony saying, “We never dine with the Clown or the King.”

  26. Bex says:

    Thanks for answering, Karen! I have to say that when I first heard Ottavia was still legally his wife, I felt such relief for her and Ariane, because at least they were secure legally and (I assume) financially and Asia couldn’t insert herself into this even more than she already has publicly. It makes sense, especially for Ariane. No divorce means they wouldn’t have had to work out custody arrangements with his strange schedule and as Tony was always publicly so generous, I imagine he would not have wanted to go through a divorce when he likely knew Asia would try to take everything she could from Ottavia and his daughter.

    As you mention, I imagine Asia would have tried to do anything she could with the body and she likely would have tried to take advantage of Chris, Ariane, or Tony’s mother in the process. Ottavia’s claim as his wife would supersede anything. Though I know other sites (Reddit, specifically) have wondered why he was cremated so quickly, I have to assume it was because his family hopes that the sooner there’s no news to report, the sooner Asia goes away.

    Ottavia is such a rock star for being so quiet and showing grace through all of this. I truly hope that Tony left his daughter a note of some type, and if he did, I pray it’s never released to the public. Some things should remain private, but with Asia and Rose (I still, try as I might, cannot get over her saying people should feel the most sympathy toward a woman he’d known maybe two years over his DAUGHTER) trying to manipulate everything at every turn, I don’t find that at all likely.

  27. Jenny says:

    FWIW, Rose McGowan has a very similar episode in her own past, minus the ultimate tragic outcome.
    Despite both their lame attempts to try to spin it in some fashion, she and Robert Rodriguez began a very blatant affair on the set of Planet Terror, which disturbed everyone else working on the film, as he was supposedly happily married to his wife and mother of his four very young sons, Elizabeth Avellan, who was not only a very active producer of his films, so well known to all, but also pregnant with their 5th child. Of course, he’s just as much to blame as Rose, but she really threw herself at him and from all accounts of the eye-witnesses I knew, did just what Asia did to Anthony…set about seducing him and seemed cast some sort of weird spell on his brain, making him turn away from the very things/people he was devoted to and which kept him grounded.

    Elizabeth continued to behave with complete grace and dignity, while Rose had jealous tantrums over the amount of time Robert wanted to spend with his children. She then had him going around Hollywood, pitching movie ideas, always with Rose as the lead; most strongly, Red Sonja and Barbarella remakes. Contrary to what Rose would probably spin these days, that Harvey sabotaged her career, in reality, no studio (including HW’s, who they actively pitched it to) felt she was a strong enough actress or big enough drawn to carry a big budget film (and btw, I personally saw her fawning over HW, both on set and at a few events, years after her alleged rape, and she didn’t seem bothered by him in the least, only desperate for his attention).

    Eventually, Robert did get European monetary backing for Barbarella, but with the stipulation he had to film it and do post in Europe (Germany, maybe?) He’d always filmed and done most of his own post-production in Austin, TX, and balked at the idea of spending that amount of time away from his children (I also heard at the time that Elizabeth didn’t want her young kids around Rose, as she felt RM was a drug-user and an unpredictable, toxic person).

    That was the final straw, Rose was furious at not getting the stardom she was so desperate for from Rodriguez, and they broke up. Even with her revisionist account of their relationship in her book, she still couldn’t resist taking a shot or two at him for refusing to go to Europe for months to make Barbarella, saying he could bring himself to leave TX, when in reality, I believe the truth was he didn’t want to be away from his small children for that amount of time. Even in his own odd reimagining of what happened with how Rose came to be in Grindhouse (which didn’t match RM’s lying tweet about her boyfriend selling “their” movie to her “rapist”, it was always with Miramax/Dimension from day one, which she knew when she signed on. And HW did NOT try to bury it because of Rose! It was a niche, genre double feature that ran 4 hours. And no amount of begging would convince Tarantino or Rodriguez that no matter how many fans they might have, people would not want to sit through it), you can hear the regret he expresses over everything he “lost” because of that film…which was obviously his subconscious finding a way to put the blame for his personal losses onto HW, instead of on his relationship with Rose, were it lays.

    Sorry for the extra long comment! But after reading your post about Asia demanding Anthony turn away from his family and support, the parallels between the two struck me. It’s so very, very tragic that instead of just being left with possibly painful regrets, Anthony Bourdain felt he could not go on any longer.

    And, to be clear, i’m in no way defending HW and all his despicable actions! But I just know that when it comes to Rose and Asia, they are portraying themselves in a way that is not completely honest. I feel like that’s possibly why they became so close, they feed off each other’s false narratives.

  28. catsworking says:

    Lynn, he undoubtedly ended up between a rock and a hard place.

    The Bourdains had a long-distance marriage from day one. He was always on the road, but in the beginning, Ottavia was content to raise Ariane and keep the home fires burning.

    Then she found an interest, and it became pretty consuming. Plus, Ariane started school, so Ottavia and Ariane weren’t as available to pick up and meet him anywhere in the world.

    I certainly can’t speak to their sex life, but I think they had a comfortable arrangement where everybody had a home base, they did their own thing, and got together when they could as a family.

    But then Asia entered the picture and probably went after Tony like a vampire. If he gave her the slightest vibe he was interested, she pounced. You know men are often more sexed than women. He fell for it, and she fulfilled a physical need his wife of 9 years wasn’t.

    Ottavia may have known, but maybe the agreement was, keep it quiet and don’t embarrass me. I’ve actually known married men myself who had EXACTLY that agreement. Their wives lived in Europe, but when they were in the States, they were single.

    I’m just reporting what I’ve learned. I’m not a lawyer to cross-examine, but it all makes perfect sense to me. The Bourdains had an agreement, and Asia insisted it be terminated. He still loved his family.

    Ottavia put up with it probably because they both wanted him in Ariane’s life as much as possible as a “normal” father, as much as he could be, not one seeing her by court mandate. That’s consistent with the statement he put out when they separated.

  29. catsworking says:

    Welcome, Jenny, and thank you for telling that story. I know nothing about Rose McGowan, so this is a real eye-opener. Yes, the parallels are uncanny. Birds of a feather, her and Asia.

    All these men who have been used by that pair and made it out alive should be counting their blessings.

  30. catsworking says:

    Welcome, dingus. What you’re quoting is the statement that Bourdain put out to please Asia. Do you think he would have said, “I’m replacing my current Italian wife with the hotter Italian I met a few months ago”?

    No, of course not. He had to create a timeline that looked like he’d been neglected for a long time by Ottavia so Asia wouldn’t look like a home-wrecker.

    I’m not saying Asia broke up a tight marriage, but she did her best to break up a family that had its own brand of normality. And the Bourdains ultimately DID NOT get a divorce. The reports about his death have clearly named Ottavia his next of kin as his wife, and so has his mother Gladys.

  31. dingus says:

    I’m saying he let the reporter know about the breakup in August of 2016; contradicting your “In February 2017, Tony told Page Six that he and Ottavia had been apart for some time, which blindsided her and Ariane.”

  32. catsworking says:

    Bex, I was relieved when I read that Ottavia was still his wife, too. I hadn’t really paid attention until all this happened, but assumed they had gone through with it because of her silence since the separation announcement.

    Turns out it was all to keep Asia at bay. I don’t think there’s any under-estimating the destructive intent of that woman. With any luck, she will sink into obscurity. But it wouldn’t surprise me to see her turn up on “Dancing with the Stars”!

  33. catsworking says:

    Welcome, Lilian.

    Simple answer to your question is: To maintain a solid relationship between Ariane and her father, I’m sure. Once there’s a divorce, everything gets iffy. And then Asia might claim precedence, and Ariane could lose her 5 days a month with her dad.

    It wasn’t worth the risk. Maybe Ottavia thought she could tough it out until he came to his senses. Not to get him back, but to regain their status quo as a family, such as it was with him traveling so much.

  34. Bex says:

    If she ever gets on DWTS, let’s hope it’s Season 65 and no one knows who the hell she is!

  35. Daisy says:

    Cats, Great post and glad we know for sure and can put the Parkinsons Disease to rest. The Princess Diana comment was clever and spot on. 🙂

    Bruce Elliots first blog post after ABs suicide, he said that AB Left his wife Ottavia and daughter for Asia so I wasn’t surprised at all by that info. He was trying to drive home the point that he left his wife and daughter for this woman. This was no casual flirtation.

    I know I keep saying it but this is all typical behavior when your in relalationship with a Personality Disordered person. The incessant demands, tantrums, triangulating, forcing you to choose sides and destroy long time friendships, alienating you from loved ones, in a nutshell making your life hell. This doesn’t end either as soon as you meet one demand another follows. It all about control. They want you under their control and to do that they have to “break” you. It’s all very sick but standard operating procedure for them. Sad thing is when your in it you can’t see it, your under a “spell”. of great sex and intense emotional highs and lows. It really messes with your mind and emotions in ways you can’t really understand except in hindsight. I do believe if he got away from her and stayed away he would have come out of it but if you have any contact with them they lure you right back in. They are like an addiction, A very powerful one.

    Also, there is no genuine remorse, they are not capable of it, so any displays you see are all phony. It’s all about attention and negative attention will do just fine. What bothers them most is no attention which is like death. I won’t be one bit surprised when we hear about the tell all book next!

    AB was in way over his head with this woman. He truly was romancing a devil.

  36. Carol says:

    Thanks for posting this info Karen. It helps to answer many questions… except, really, why the suicide? Was she just ratcheting up the pressure so so much … and he’d rather kill himself than tell her “no, I’m not going to leave my family”? Also, I remember what you posted yesterday that in Greece in 2015 he was not wearing his wedding ring… that to me means they were separated at that point. What are your thoughts on that? Thanks again for this blog and sharing what you know.

  37. Adele Prass says:

    Hey Daisy, do you have a social work or psychology background? I have an MSW, and I’ve thought that Asia, like Trump, whom Tony detested was the classic Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Too bad he could see it in Trump but not in Asia. As Blaise Pascal said, “There are reasons of the heart, that reason cannot understand;” although in this case, I might substitute “groin” for “heart.”

  38. Daisy says:

    Hi Adele, Yep, another fellow psychology major and counselor here. I also had the unfortunate experience of being married to one. I am well versed on the Narcissist and PDs in general.

    You hit the nail on the head with the “groin” comment.They are the masters of sex. Sex with them will be mind blowing, and addictive. It’s all by design but you think it’s love. .

    AB was so enchanted with this woman and shouting from the rooftops about how wonderful she was and supporting her in that Harvey Weinstein debacle. I can’t imagine the humiliation he must have felt when it all came crashing down with those pictures. Of course that wasn’t even the worst of it. I am sure what followed was many phone calls gaslighting him making him feel like it was his fault she cheated. Taunting him that he was still married and that is why she can see other men, and all the reasons why he “failed ” her and she had no choice but to seek the company of another man etc. etc. It’s a real mind fuck. (I don’t normally curse but there is no other way to say it!).

  39. feijicha says:

    Karen, your comment “He fell for it, and she fulfilled a physical need his wife of 9 years wasn’t.”… not sure if you were meaning that this was *his* rationalization for his behavior or if you were indicating it was the reality… but I’d just add that a husband has to be *present* for a wife to have a physical relationship WITH, and if said husband is on the road 90% of the year, well…. blaming your wife for not having a sex life with her when she’s at home raising your kid and you are gallivanting around the world is kind of a masterclass in rationalization.

  40. catsworking says:

    Bex, I love it! Not even Len Goodman would remember her!

  41. catsworking says:

    Daisy, I feel like you nailed was what going on. He left Ottavia and Ariane for Asia, but in his heart he was still with them. He couldn’t resist his compulsions for 1) travel, and 2) this devil who seduced him and appealed to all his darkest instincts.

  42. catsworking says:

    Carol, when I was watching his shows, I was always acutely aware of when he was wearing his wedding ring or not, although I’ve lost the thread of that over the years.

    No wedding ring to me indicated he was no longer fully committed, although he was in peak physical condition and it could have been just an MMA thing. You don’t wear any jewelry somebody could grab to rip your finger off, I suppose.

    They were never physically separated until after he notified Page Six that they were and moved into his own apartment. Emotionally, they may not have been on the same wavelength for some time, although since he suddenly took up MMA around 2015 after scoffing at exercise all his life, it appeared that he was trying to maintain a solid connection to Ottavia through what she loved doing.

  43. catsworking says:

    OMG, Daisy, I think you have hit on some things that ring true, at least to me. That’s EXACTLY what I would imagine her to have said to him. It was all HIS fault she cheated because he wasn’t devoted enough.

    “Mind fuck” is exactly the proper term for it. We should all be familiar with it, since it’s being done to us every day of the Trump administration.

    So weird to have this circle back to politics, but Tony was in love with Trump with a vagina!

  44. Morganlf says:

    First, back to my original thesis. Ottavia was blindsided.

    Second, I don’t for a minute believe she gave him a hall pass to be with Argento. She loved him, knew him, and was savvy enough to know what can happen on the road. She didn’t see this one coming.

    Don’t know why she stayed, but it’s clear they were a family with a child and very close. Once.

    When he asked for his own apartment, that must have been hard. But Tony sold her a bill of goods. It could not have been easy.

    Ottavia never took to social media to vilify her daughter’s father. She knew Tony was a beloved personality, rather than belittle him with tantrums and legal battles, she amazingly held her peace.

    As the post indicates Argento’s dark machinations came into play. She was forbidden to post any pictures on social media lest it set Asia off.

    Ottavia is a better person than me.

    Then: Asia, Bourdain’s slavish posting about her was…weird. I NEVER bought it as natural.I always though it was unusually crass and cavalier of him to behave so publicly besotted in front of a wife and child.

    But we all know Asia demanded this slavishness. Why he bent to her cruel treatment of his family I will never know or ever forgive, ever. Tony you were better than that.

    There is a cosmic fist ready to bitch slap that morbid, soul-sucking, phony, victim pseudo intellectual Argento…but I can never say it as fluently as:

    Suffice to say I’ve been posting about Tony and Ottavia for 10 years.

    I know some things. Ottavia and her daughter have my admiration, support and sympathy…this shit ain’t easy.

  45. catsworking says:

    feijicha, good point. I have no way of knowing if Ottavia had checked out of bedroom duties, but when many men stray, it’s convenient to blame the little lady for not satisfying their needs at home — even if they’re NEVER at home.

    I saw it with my own eyes that Tony and Ottavia had a strong bond. I think that held through the years because they shared Ariane and wanted what was best for her.

    But Asia is all about sex. So it made sense to discount Ottavia and have Asia appear to take up the slack.

    Plus, Tony was about to hit the big 6-0 when he met Asia. Maybe he was insecure about his virility and craved affirmation, which Asia was only too happy to give him, in spades.

  46. catsworking says:

    Morgan, you’ve been with me since the beginning with the Bourdains. I hear where you’re coming from and agree with you. Ottavia knew what she signed on for with Tony, and I give her credit in every way for sticking by him through everything — albeit, in her own way while carving out her own niche in life. I’m sure if he ever needed a place to go and crawl under the bed in a fetal position from Asia’s abuse, she would have given him that space for as long as he needed it.

    The daughter they raised together has already shown amazing grace and courage in the face of tragedy. I’m sure Ottavia will continue to see that she grows into a formidable woman that Tony will be very sorry he didn’t get to know — wherever he is.

  47. cavegrrl says:

    Thank you for this post! I am STILL beside myself. How can I possibly grieve so hard for someone I don’t even know?

  48. catsworking says:

    Welcome, cavegrrl. I SO identify with everyone who is coming here amazed at the sense of loss they feel. When I wake up every morning, Tony is my first thought (thankfully, replacing Trump and his horror du jour). And as soon as I remember Tony’s gone, my heart aches.

    This has been an even bigger shock to me than when Diana died, or 9/11. In my lifetime, I will give it the No. 2 spot after the assassination of President Kennedy in terms of public figures I drew inspiration from. I lived in Massachusetts, the Kennedy family was royalty, my world stopped for several days after he died.

    It was the same with Tony. The day I found out he was gone, my. world. stopped.

    I think one reason we are all feeling so bereft is that this country has never needed his strong, clear voice of reason and tolerance more than now.

    In its absence, we ALL need to step up and renounce “Bullshit!” whenever we see it, on whatever platform we choose. We’ll not only do our bit to save this country from autocracy, but we’ll honor Anthony Bourdain’s spirit as well.

  49. Lynn says:

    I agree with Morgan. He cheated. Unless they had a ‘separate lives’ agreement or she was okay with him having extra-curricular activities on the road, that is a betrayal. I don’t buy that you can ‘steal’ a man from his wife or girlfriend who doesn’t want to be stolen. Look at Barack Obama. I’m sure tons of women want to get with him, but Bill Clinton he is not.

    And Tony said he cheated on Nancy, so it’s not hard to see that patterns repeat. I’m not suggesting he deserved any of Asia’s bullshit, but like Morgan said O is a better person than I bc I wouldn’t stand for that and I probably wouldn’t hold my tongue either. I’d at least want him to move out. The ‘we’ve been living separate lives for a long time’ line that Tony gave the media kept him from looking like a dick, too. So basically he was protecting himself and Asia at his wife’s expense.

    “I always though it was unusually crass and cavalier of him to behave so publicly besotted in front of a wife and child.”

    I agree, particularly if they had not separated pre-Asia. And it was just strange bc he didn’t do that when he first met Ottavia. What happened to celebs wanting privacy? It was like he couldn’t post enough PDA pics.

    I still don’t get why no one but Bruce is speaking out publicly against Asia. Is she that scary?

  50. izzy1957 says:

    Lots of thoughts to share, but not enough time right now to articulate all of them (though I’m still trying to keep up with work deadlines).

    But, reading and catching up on IG account justicefortony, the point strongly being made is how to get the truth out there as it is not being honestly reported in the media. Meaning Asia is not being portrayed in any fashion similar to what we can and have up to this point put together about her from what we know/have read/and which closer sources to AB have provided, and it’s not just not sitting right with many of us.

    This seems to be of importance as a couple of the accounts posters including “justice” are indicating that they have been trying to contact some publications/outlets and are not being received well or replied back to. That, in fact, some are taking the view that “Tony’s Army” for lack of a better word are, in fact being viewed as “trolls”.

    So, how do we turn this around? Are we in agreement that we have to take Asia down? Of course, I don’t mean literally as in “permanently” although I’m sure some would say they wouldn’t take too much issue with that, or…..

    Seriously, how does one stop this woman? How do we ensure she drops from worldview and gets blacklisted or basically put out to pasture with the cows? (Can’t think of anything else at the moment, but just to paint the picture very clearly here).

    One thing that does concern me as would be of concern for anyone with a child here is that Ariane is 11 years old, and at some point is going to like any other “celebrity child” have to be exposed to all that has been written about their parent. We know the love for AB is unbelievable – the news outlets have reported that much here. But, what do we do about the other stories, because all different sides/opinion will be put out there, and not everyone will learn some of the finer and more important truths here.

    We kind of need a “Diana in her Own Words” type of book. Obviously, AB isn’t here to help write it, but if someone like Bruce Elliott were to put together something, fashioned along the lines of his own writing – which we’ve read – so his narrative and viewpoint as a friend that knew and worked with Tony could be the basis, whereby he can “include” other sources – some named, who have given their permission, and perhaps some who will remain as an unamed source to start to tell the behind the scene stories of Asia and her antics/history/and relationship with Tony. The unvarnished truth.

    Now, this is just something I’m throwing out here as a way to take the bull by the horns so to speak. Obviously, I am asking for feedback. Obviously, I know enough too, that legal considerations need to be thought about and covered, as apparently Asia likes to sue people (poster on justicefortony re HW).

    One has to ask if at some point, the dust will settle with Asia — personally, I wouldn’t place my bets on that – and, for the fact, that she’ll continue to try to keep herself relevant, which truthfully just sickens me at the thought.

    I don’t know – I am thinking out loud and just expressing myself at the same time. Maybe this is just a totally stupid idea. I could be way off base here, and you can say so.

    I’m just still inclined to put this out here for discussion or to be shot down right away if shutting her down so to speak in this type of format is not agreeable – I don’t know. I’m only asking.

    Tony had his own publishing connections and network of people, and perhaps this can be done in somewhat of a pro-bono fashion, with any profits going directly to suicide prevention in his memory.

    Don’t crucify me – I obviously haven’t thought it all out, but…

    Okay, go!

  51. Morganlf says:

    Jenny magnificent post and thank you for your Birdseye view into Rose McGowan.

    She has tried to blame The beast Weinstein for her lack of success in Hollywood but as you document…she lacked appeal and talent.

    She used her wiles to entrap, when no career materialized it was her seducers HW fault…
    Marylin Monroe …she wasn’t.

    Just like Asia,Blow Job, kneepad havin’ bisexual, weird daddy issues, drunk, drug addled, liar, disgrace washed up at 20 she jumped on#metoo for attention and got it from Tony’s fame.

    note I said it Asia will reveal a sexual relationship with her father that damaged her,led to her seeking a father figure in Bourdain.

    Anthony was duped like a schoolboy. Jesus bro…you were better than that. Way better. You were smart, funny, kind,entertaining

    Every one knows it.

  52. cavegrrl says:

    I feel a similar sadness as to when we lost Prince, though I feel like this is much worse and much more unnecessary. I didn’t feel a real loss for any other celebrities besides these two. This one for some reason cuts to the core. He’s probably one of 5 famous people I would have ever wanted to meet and get to know as a person.

  53. catsworking says:

    izzy, I think all of your ideas have merit. I have no doubt that there are a number of books that will be written about Anthony Bourdain (I am not among them, although there’s at least one fat book’s worth of material already on this blog). The people with the most inside knowledge are still in shock.

    I think our job on social media is to put enough facts out about Asia that, even if she deletes all her own own demented posts, if someone Googles her name, they find out how depraved and sick she is. She can’t sue or shut down the whole internet for telling the truth as she herself as expressed it. She French-kisses dogs. She feigns losing her virginity for her father’s camera. I could go on and on.

    The media seems to have forgotten the Bourdain story because Trump’s kiddie concentration camps have seized national attention.

    It’s all about critical mass. When Bourdain’s fans achieve it online, the media will pay attention. Haven’t our news broadcasts been mostly reduced to reporting on the Idiot-in-Chief’s tweets? He has the formula we need to emulate.

  54. izzy1957 says:

    Yes, Morgan, I too, have felt he was in some respects a “father figure” to Asia, especially with the praise and encouragement he gave to her, and I believe she sought out from him for her own selfish gain.

  55. catsworking says:

    “What happened to celebs wanting privacy? It was like he couldn’t post enough PDA pics.

    I still don’t get why no one but Bruce is speaking out publicly against Asia. Is she that scary?”

    Lynn, responding to your first question, when I started writing about Bourdain and discovered Nancy (who was an enigma then), he FedExed me a letter expressing disapproval. Eventually he came around and started scooping me on everything personal about himself.

    Bruce is not the only one speaking out against Asia but, yes, she is that scary. Cats Working, justicefortony, mushroomgeek are others who dare. Asia is looking for a buck wherever she can make it, so we post trusting in the First Amendment and knowing that she could try to sue us from Italy for libel (buona fortuna!). However, her calling Tony her “love, rock, and protector” could also be construed as libel if her behavior most likely drove him to suicide (as evidenced by what’s on his electronic devices, whose contents — or not — she has no knowledge of). It’s a crapshoot for her. I’m betting she’ll take the slings and arrows of outrage instead of risking it. Lawyers are expensive.

  56. Morganlf says:

    Izzy I like your ideas. Post on every blog like this& geriatricgenious, {a friend of Tony & fearless} follow justicefortony…I have

  57. Lynn says:

    Karen, I said Bruce is the only one who knew Tony well who is speaking out NON-anonymously. As much as I value JFT’s info, we don’t know who this is or what his/her relationship was with Tony.

    Izzy my mind is blown that Daily Mail, TMZ and other gossip outlets aren’t all over this. It is right up their alley. They use unnamed sources all the time. ‘A source close to Tony said….’ or ‘a source who worked closely with Tony in Hong Kong….’. The headlines write themselves: Asia’s battles on location; Bourdain halts production to take Asia’s crazed phone calls; Asia convinces Tony to fire long-time cinematographer,’ ‘Asia blocked Bourdain on social media 3 days before his death.’ They love that shit. Maybe they’re scared of looking like they are piling on a Harvey W. victim? I can’t figure it out.

    If people in the freaking White House can leak damaging info to the press about Prez Dumpster Fire and get info out to the world, surely Tony’s friends can leak on Miss ‘yes Italy has trailer trash, too’.

  58. catsworking says:

    cavegrrl, it’s so interesting to me that you equate Tony’s death with Prince. Bourdain spanned generations. I remember where I was when Sinatra died in 1998 (which happened to be Palm Springs, one of his haunts). You probably have little knowledge of Sinatra, who would seem hokey now. On Prince, I draw a total blank. I can’t even name a song.

    But, it all goes to show Bourdain’s universal appeal to everyone, no matter what age or culture or education. That’s what we need now. Someone who can build bridges rather than destroy them. I share your profound sense of sadness, Sinatra to Prince generations. Fundamentally, you get it. Can we clone you?

  59. izzy1957 says:

    Yes, Karen, like you and others I don’t get it – at all. TMZ is unfortunately, usually your “go-to” for exactly what you mention – and not one bloody word! So, we need to ask one of these gossip rags what’s up with this shit, right? Anyone have an in to Harvey/TMZ?

  60. izzy1957 says:

    Copying and pasting an interesting comment from Bruce Elliott’s blog – I’ve been checking out more of his writings – this one caught my eye, along with the fact that someone on the justicefortony IG account posted the link to his second last IG story post (glad for the help, because I’m not IG literate enough to know how to otherwise find these so-called stories), but their perspective from viewing it was that he thought it indicated how depressed he was. Then I later find and read this comment.

    This was on Bruce’s “Punk Love” blogpost dated June 14, 2018.

    Miss Maggie said…
    Within moments of posting the “Fuck Everyone t-shirt, she also posted one that said “I Have the Cocksucker Blues” It wasn’t up very long–she quickly deleted it. I have posted on Twitter and Instagram asking if anyone else saw it, but so far, I’ve not gotten any response. I felt a very bad vibe from that, as he was posting some weird stuff on his Instagram story around the same time…the walls and ceilings of his room. Damn, I’m still hurting.

    June 19, 2018 at 8:20 PM

  61. feijicha says:

    I hadn’t heard about her other post and definitely not about him posting stuff on IG… wow.

    As for Harvey and TMZ, he’s so far up Trump’s butt who knows what he’s up to these days…

  62. Justice says:

    As you know, Asia Argento deleted her Instagram post of herself wearing her “fuck everyone” t-shirt with the caption, “You know who you are.” She then claimed it was merely from her Cannes speech, and that AB’s fans were being ridiculous for thinking it was directed at Tony.

    I do believe that it referenced her Cannes speech, but I’ve had this sinking feeling that she was angry about something and weaponizing it to lump AB in with “bad guys” like the ones she referenced at Cannes. That is just my impression and guess, though.

  63. bamboo.skewer says:

    Wow. I was trying to piece together a timeline of when they filmed the Rome episode and when the relationship with Asia might have started. And surely they worked together quite a bit before filming, to figure out what to show, where to eat, etc.

    Also, the Sid Vicious T-shirt – it appears a long ways back in Asia’s Instagram. Unripped.

    It’s posted on 9/28/16 – she replies to someone that it was made in 2008. Possibly made by a relative of her ex-husband? The instagram account is gone now but similarities here:

  64. sheilawinona says:

    I hope in his birthday there will also be public funeral service or some special celebration initiated by tony’s family so that the fans can properly pay tribute to our hero.

    What’s the result of the toxicology?

  65. DrakeB says:

    What about OB boyfriend, who perhaps lives with her in a condo in the name of OB and AB? Very curious what you have to say about that. There are posts all over Reddit from OB about him. As far as I can see they are together for several years. How does this fit the narrative?

  66. catsworking says:

    izzy, this is very disturbing, and the first I’ve seen that Tony was posting anything anywhere. All the stories that mentioned it said his last Instagram post was that big plate of meat he had for lunch with Eric (maybe on Tuesday?). In fact, Bourdain was the only one I was following on IG until this week, and when I opened my page, that plate of food was front and center.

    So… if he was posting weird shit in his room, what happened to it? Who deleted it?

    The “Cocksucker Blues” comment from Asia seems self-explanatory. But how she could behave as contemptuously toward him as she did and then call TONY a cocksucker just goes to show it was always all about her.

  67. catsworking says:

    Justice, agree. “Everyone” is a pretty all-encompassing word. No doubt in my mind that she included Tony. Why else would she take the post down when his death was announced unless it had something to do with him?

    The bad-ass crusader for truth, justice and the downfall of all men wimped out when she helped one actually fall — permanently. In a split second, the “cocksucker” turned into her “love, rock, and protector.”

  68. catsworking says:

    Good sleuthing, Bamboo! It wouldn’t surprise me if she has a closet full of profane and insulting T-shirts for all occasions.

  69. catsworking says:

    seilawinona, I haven’t seen anything on the toxicology report yet. I have no idea how long those take, but someone here earlier said it could be months. I would imagine that the information will hit the news pretty prominently, given how extensively his death was covered.

  70. Randi says:

    Ottavia seems like a level headed woman who can handle a bit of everything, but I’m sure there was a limit to what she would put up with. She was good for him, though. He was healthy looking and fit while with her, while he aged considerably during the years with AA. I’m sure Ottavia and Tony stayed married because of Ariane. They both wanted to secure her, in case something should happen. Sadly it did. And keep in mind that they were still good friends, they simply drifted apart because of his extensive travel schedule, and she had her MMA to keep her busy, and of course, Ariane.

    I have no doubt that Tony and AA had lots of similar interests and were attracted to each other, not least sexually, but considering his age, there could have been problems there, and AA would no doubt have felt rejected. The fact that they had known each other for two years didn’t mean they saw each other that much, so that’s probably why Tony was still “in love” with her. However, his work and his daughter were the most important, I’m sure. AA of course, wanted him for herself, but when she realised that wasn’t happening, she probably made a scene. From what I have read, points to AA becoming more and more demanding/greedy. Luckily, Tony was smart enough to secure his family financially and keep a good relationship going with them.

    Like Adele, I too wonder if he had been/was using coke again in the weeks prior to his death. AA and Rose certainly had access to it. I doubt he could say no if he was offered some, but coming down from it is hell, so he would be depressed!

  71. catsworking says:

    Welcome, DrakeB. I don’t think I’ve ever visited Reddit, so I’m unaware of any boyfriend, live-in or otherwise. I simply can’t keep up with all the media platforms.

    Tony was apparently involved with Asia since early 2016, so that would be several years. I’ve never said the Bourdains were a tight couple right up until the moment their separation was announced. In fact, the separation indicated they’d been doing their own thing for a long while and they both acknowledged it.

    So, if Ottavia knew about Asia and had moved on herself (because she was alone 250 days a year already anyway), I don’t have a problem with that. What I do know, and what Bourdain himself said in many, many interviews, is that they took raising Ariane seriously and behaved as a family unit with her.

  72. radiobread says:


    This place has AB’s archived IG stories. You can go back to his previous stories using the button on bottom right. Second to last story is likely what izzy is referring to.

  73. L Villeneuve says:

    When Ottavia got really immersed in MMA she became very close to Eddie Cummings, her sparring partner and continued to get closer, apparently to the point where he divorced his wife. It is documented in the sporting journals that they have been a thing for quite a while.

  74. catsworking says:

    Randi, Rose not only had access to coke, it was found in a Chanel wallet she left on a plane when she flew into Dulles Airport. The authorities were surprised she never tried to claim the expensive wallet after it was found, if her story that Weinstein had someone plant coke in it to frame her was true. If she’d been truly clean and gone to Lost & Found, she might not be indicted right now.

    I wondered about drugs myself toward the end when Tony was looking so totally worn out. He’d backslid into cigarettes, and he never stopped drinking. I guess it would have been a short hop if he was around drugs and his girlfriend was partaking. I can think of at least 2 pics of him doing intimate selfies with Asia where she looks totally stoned. I have no doubt she mistakes her expression for sexiness — and sadly, so did he.

  75. catsworking says:

    Welome, radiobread! Thank you for the link and the instructions….

    Wow, I’ve never seen that account before and there certainly is a lot of weird shit on it. WHY would he post a useless clip of walls unless he really wasn’t thinking straight, which we now know he wasn’t.

  76. catsworking says:

    LV, I confess I have not been following Ottavia’s MMA career since way back when she first began competing, so this is news to me. Never heard of Eddie Cummings, but I just found this with an idle Google…

    Yup, they definitely seem to be an item. I’m not going to jump into the time machine and try to affix blame on who may have cheated on who first or whatever. The fact is, Tony and Ottavia drifted apart, and I’m sure there were many reasons. There always are.

    But TODAY, given all that’s happened, I can only say I’m DELIGHTED she has someone to lean on now and who shares her passion, and I mean that sincerely. And he looks more age-appropriate. Although I will say he could lose the beard. Ugh.

  77. catsworking says:

    Randi, I totally forgot to reply to your comment about Tony and Asia not seeing each other much. Bingo!

    As the veteran of two continent-spanning affairs myself that lasted a total of nearly 13 years, where I only saw the other person a few times a year for a week or two at a time, always in beautiful locales, I can attest that every meeting was like a honeymoon. We’d built up so much longing (and I’m sure fantasies about each other being much better people than we were), we couldn’t get enough of each other when we were together.

    Because time was limited, the passion was more intense and so were the fights. I have no doubt it was the same for them. Even though now you have cheap international calling, Facetime, texts, etc., to make you seem in constant contact, they’re not real physical presence.

    If I’d have ended up living with either of my lovers, we’d have probably ended up killing each other in the day-to-day monotony of real life.

  78. Lynn says:

    “Why would he post a useless clip of walls unless he really wasn’t thinking straight, which we now know he wasn’t.”

    Maybe he was high or drunk.

    I found a link that shows AA’s obsession with the occult. She frequently has been photographed posing in the ‘one eye sign’, etc.

    Her cryptic style of posting t-shirts and other slogans is highly annoying and further proof of the desire for attention. I thought the fuck everyone shirt was for the paparazzi and the people/media outlets who would be interested in seeing those pics of her and Hugh. “Look at me, look at me! How dare you want to look at me!”

    Why don’t we all start posting cryptic shit and try to figure out what each other is feeling that day. “I have toenail fungus of the mind.” There, figure that one out. (eye roll).

    “Page Six ran an article based on “sources close to” the Bourdains who said they had officially separated, had been estranged for a while, and that “there was no one else involved.”

    Why add that lie in about no one else involved. Tacky. But that goes back to my original question. If they were living separate lives or drifted apart, how could O be ‘blindsided’? The 2 don’t go together, especially if she was seeing someone else, too.

  79. Laura N. says:

    This explains so much. I said a few days ago that it looked like Asia was not at all integrated into his life and now we know he was basically leading two lives to please her. How sad. WTF was he thinking?! I’m sure with all that stress, he didn’t think twice about smoking and drinking heavily again. No wonder he aged a decade in two years.

  80. Lynn says:

    Just saw this from JFT:

    For those who’ve been asking, there won’t be a funeral, his brother is organizing a small memorial for friends and family. Asia in not invited. She was no friend to Tony and certainly no family. There have been talks to have a larger event down the line to celebrate his life. It will happen when the time is right.

  81. Morganlf says:

    A few things to correct:

    Ottavia had no part in the Page Six announcement. It was Tony’s concoction at Asias urging (see main article) to make it “appear” they were leading separate lives, so she could step in without being vilified. I will stand by my assertion she O was blindsided.

    Radiobreads link, look at first clip it’s from the Episode where he took his life, that’s Éric getting miked in front of THAT hotel and that’s Zack Zamboni I’m fairly sure. I never read he fired Zack but only that during Hong Kong someone had a spat with the drunken Asia and Tony fired them or at least sided with Asia.

    Lastly, Karen you’ve never heard of Prince????? Impossible. Little Red Corvette, Rasberry Beret, when Doves Cry, party like its 1999? Purple Rain the movie and the song…

  82. catsworking says:

    “Toenail fungus of the mind.” I like that. First big laugh today.

    Where do you guys dig up this stuff? The more I see of Asia, the more I wonder why Tony didn’t run away screaming. On that link, the drawing of Asia by Joe Coleman pretty much summed her up — Demon who thinks she’s Wonder Woman.

    I just saw a photo of her in Turin during X Factor shooting where she’s holding her shirt up to expose her belly (“How dare you want to look at me?”) and posing with some tatted rapper. Somebody criticized her online for not mourning Bourdain, got ripped to pieces by her posse, and she shot back something like, “What should I do? Dump ashes on my head and whip my back?” Clearly, she has Bourdain in her rear-view mirror.

    Her theme these days seems to be “staying alive” for her kids. As opposed to the other thing. I still feel like she’s working on a grand gesture, probably involving lots of blood.

    Almost forgot: Obviously, Ottavia knew they had problems and were going separate ways, but she never thought Tony would go behind her back and plant an official story that they had split while they were still living together. His timing was shortly after they’d just spent a month in the Hamptons together and just as Ariane was going back to school.

    And he phrased it in such a way, from “sources close,” that it looked like he had nothing to do with it. The “no one else involved” was undoubtedly Asia’s little touch, as was his apparent “relief” at “not having to pretend” anymore.

    That last bit is open to interpretation: Either not pretend that he and Ottavia were fine, or not pretend that he wasn’t in love with Asia.

    I know you’re not buying any of this, but I do believe my source that it is the way things went down.

  83. catsworking says:

    Lynn, thanks for this update. Sounds like they have made some decisions and keeping it low-key.

    I wouldn’t expect any sort of “celebration” of his life right way, either. Better to let the world process it until people can come together and really appreciate what he was rather than be sad for what we all lost.

    I was just gathering some links I’m coming across of various memorials springing up in his honor. Seems murals on the side of buildings are the thing to do.

  84. Lynn says:

    No Karen, I buy that O was blindsided by the announcement. What I’ve been trying to get at is did Tony ‘cheat’ on O or not. By my definition, it counts as cheating unless there was some agreement or understanding that because there were problems in the marriage each was free sleep with other people…discreetly.

    So, while she was blindsided by the announcement, was she also blindsided by the affair? I’m not sure why I care about this detail. Perhaps because if it was cheating, well then the lesson is don’t cheat on your wife or you might end up with a succubus who destroys you. It’s very ‘Fatal Attraction’.

    And yes I am also mind blown that you draw a blank re: Prince. I have relatives in their 80s who know who Prince was. lol

  85. catsworking says:

    Hahaha, Morgan, of course I’ve heard OF Prince. He’s dead. I just can’t say that I’ve ever listened TO Prince.

    But it’s probably the same as with Michael Jackson. I couldn’t think of anything he’d done, but when he was being played everywhere after he died, I’d go, “Oh, that was HIM?”

    I saw the mention of Zach being fired in justicefortony’s IG comments.

  86. mrc551 says:

    Miss Maggie…that would be me.

    Instagram “Stories” consist of short videos / clips /photos etc., that go poof after 24 hours. One evening of his time in France, I noticed that AA was unusually active on IG stories. At that time, I was still following her on IG. One did not have to be clairvoyant to sense her moods as she habitually responded to situations in very melodramatic ways. But this particular evening struck me oddly as her postings were coming fast and furious–even for her!

    I toggled back and forth looking at her IG stories out of morbid curiosity…kinda like watching a slow-moving train wreck, You don’t want to actually see it, but you can’t turn away, either!

    Within moments of posting the “Fuck Everyone” t-shirt, she also posted LARGE bold text that said “I Have the Cocksucker Blues” It wasn’t up very long–she quickly deleted it. I have posted on Twitter and Instagram asking if anyone else saw it, but so far, I’ve not gotten any response. I felt a very bad vibe from that, as he was posting some weird stuff on his Instagram story around the same time…the walls and ceilings of his room. Damn, I’m still hurting.

    Looking back…I am convinced she was communicating directly with him, No doubt at all. I posted on numerous platforms asking if anyone else saw it.

  87. catsworking says:

    Of course I’ve heard of Prince. It’s just not my type of music. Almost nothing that’s been written since 1950 is unless it’s sung on Broadway. I have very narrow taste in music. 😉

    I can honestly say that I have no idea when Tony started sleeping with Asia. It makes sense to me that she sank her hooks into him as deeply as possible when she had him captive during the Rome shoot to keep him coming back for more. They must have had at least a fling sometime between April and September 2016. No way that woman would do platonic.

    But she couldn’t stand being his dirty little secret, attention hog that she is (which might also mean limited access to his cash), so she pushed for him to publicly announce separation because 1) He couldn’t plausibly fly to Italy every month without Ottavia just for fun, and 2) He’d been so vocal about his love for Ariane, he couldn’t openly have an affair while living at home.

    I sincerely doubt Tony and Ottavia ever sat down and said, “OK, this isn’t working. Let’s just sneak around on each other.” He was too famous to not get caught. And she was too sensible to be an item around NYC outside of the gym with another guy, where she was widely recognized. I doubt she would ever “pull an Asia” in the street and humiliate Tony like that. And she certainly wouldn’t shame her daughter.

  88. catsworking says:

    Welcome, Miss Maggie! I’ve learned something new about IG today. I had no idea these “story” things existed. I saw the expiration dates on the link someone provided me earlier, but lots of clips were still there, including Tony’s video of the walls. How was that possible?

    There have been hundreds of comments here since June 8 and no one has reported seeing AA’s “Cocksucker blues” post until someone mentioned seeing what you had posted. Interesting how that one apparently very damning piece of information just slipped right through the cracks.

    Well, Tony’s family, possibly his brother Chris, who took custody of the ashes, has Tony’s electronics now, and maybe he’ll find something. We may never hear about it, but I’m sure the family is wondering what the hell happened even more than we are.

  89. Daisy says:

    If there is any solace to be had about Asia, I predict in time she will deeply regret her choices and how she treated him. Not because of any genuine remorse per say but because there will not be another Anthony Bourdain for her. He really was the deal of a lifetime and she hit the jackpot with him. Not because he was perfect but let’s face it what other man of his stature and class is going to do all that he did to be with her? She is nothing special in the looks department, getting older and with all that cigarette smoking she won’t age pretty. Her mental and emotional stability always in question. We are not talking Sophia Loren here. If she were smart and played her cards right she could have probably married him eventually. Even though he said he wouldn’t get married again….I don’t believe it….he was too crazy for her. If she pushed, in time he would have given in. Right now she is too busy being defiant and raging at her detractors and doesn’t yet realize that she lost the best thing that ever happened to her.

    As for Anthony, I so wish he would have been distracted Thursday night because I believe it was just the worst time for him to be alone with those photo images in his mind, her nasty phone calls, and then probably drinking heavily. Clearly he was not thinking straight. Had he just gotten thru that week, although bruised and banged up by all this, I have no doubt about that, he would have lived on and I am sure in time met someone else better suited for him. There is no way he was going to be alone forever and with hindsight he probally would have been saying to himself….What the hell was I was thinking.

    His suicide was just so TOTALLY UNNECESSARY and that is the thing that bothers me most. It really was the worst solution to a temporary problem.

  90. cavegrrl says:

    @Daisy I totally agree with you. He probably, eventually would have married her if she had not acted so vile and like an impatient little girl. I can’t believe how she is acting out on IG and IG stories seeking attention for herself!! Pure evil. No one cares about the dumb show you are on or your career or your tattoos.

    And yes, Anthony’s suicide was totally unnecessary. The coolest person on the planet makes the most completely uncool move he’s ever made. How does this even happen?

  91. ABisWithUs says:

    Karen, you’re doing a great job! Thank you again.

  92. Randi says:

    The second last video Tony posted here on June 4th is quite eerie. It’s probably from his hotel room.
    And the where is the concert clip taken and when?
    Does anyone know what Zack looks like? Is it him in the video with Eric in front of the hotel?

  93. Daisy says:

    Cavegirl, I agree. It really does make you wonder how did it get so bad that this happened? The only thing I can come up with is that night was like a perfect storm in his mind. A mix of depression, aging, feeling lonely and tired, defeated in relationships, drinking heavily and dealing with a full on Narcissist. That combination really can be deadly if somone or something doesn’t intervene. Not to say others could have saved him from himself but distraction that week may have done the trick till he at least got some time away from her her to gain clarity. It’s very possible a trip home and spending time with his daughter would have changed his thinking.

    It is so sad that this one impulsive action will affect so many for a long time come. The most affected will be his daughter. A whole lifetime she will have to live without her Dad. It’s hard enough on a child to deal with a parents death let alone from suicide. My heart really goes out to her.

  94. catsworking says:

    Daisy, I agree with everything you said. Aside from the distance thing, it’s unlikely, from the looks of her, that any man ever treated her better or was more supportive than Bourdain. And if he and Ottavia DID ever divorce, you’re right, he probably would have married her. He didn’t do well during the window of time between Nancy and Ottavia. I think he craved the anchor of marriage.

    I think when Asia hits menopause, she’s finished. Right now she’s got the teenage body that belies the increasingly haggard face. When that goes… I don’t think we have to worry about seeing her cavorting around with her grandchildren.

    And I do think about if Tony had JUST gone down to dinner Thursday night, he’d still be alive. He and Eric would have had a good meal, some nice wine, some laughs, and he’d have weathered the crisis.

  95. catsworking says:

    Aw, shucks, ABisWithUs. T’ain’t nothin’. 🙂

  96. catsworking says:

    Randi, that could very well be Zach. (He spells it with an H, probably short for Zachary.) The beard is throwing me. I’m terrible with men’s faces for some reason. The other guy is definitely Eric.

    We were talking this morning about the weird video of the walls from the hotel room. Was he staggering around?

    I really don’t get that who IG “story” thing. Just a collection of useless little snippets of video. And they all have past expiration dates, so why are they still there? I’m clueless.

  97. catsworking says:

    Daisy, so true. I’m sure everyone on that shoot is kicking themselves for not persuading him to at least turn off his fucking phone and stay in the moment — WITH THEM. IN BEAUTIFUL FRANCE!!

    As Tom Colicchio said, lost are all the stories he will never tell. I think of the books he will never write. The lovely places he will never see again. The friends he will never laugh with. The things his daughter will do that he will never know about. The sheer senselessness of it makes me furious and desperately sad.

    And Asia goes on her merry way to ruin someone else’s life.

  98. L Villeneuve says:

    I can’t help wondering what Nancy is feeling about all of this?

  99. catsworking says:

    LV, I haven’t seen a peep out of Nancy anywhere. I wonder if she’ll be invited to the private memorial service. They were married for 20 years.

  100. Daisy says:

    Cats, OMG, are we on the same page. I was going to say menopause will pretty much finish her off but left that out. You are spot on. Her days of cavorting around Rome are definitely numbered.

  101. Lynn says:

    I’ve never understood women like Asia, how they manage to get so many men under their spell when they are average-looking at best.

    Speaking of, this is a good interview with Lydia T., co-head of ZPZ. I never knew the entire show from the start was HER idea. I always thought Food Network came up with the idea for A Cook’s Tour and approached Tony. Nope – she approached him after learning he was planning a second book called “A Cook’s Tour,” back when ZPZ was just Lydia and her husband Chris.

    Unfortunately there’s also a passage that indicates just how much Asia was influencing Parts Unknown even when she wasn’t directing:

    Lydia says, of the Nigeria episode:

    “The acid rock thing, for example … the crew was already in Lagos. The acid rock thing was never part of the original treatment. Then, if I’m not mistaken, I believe Asia Argento, who’s Tony’s girlfriend, told him, ‘Did you realize that the Nigerians had this incredible acid rock cultural explosion at one point and there’s all this incredible, great music that came out of there?’ That information came late to the crew, so there was sort of a pivot that happened on the ground during that production where they followed that lead, and they were able to dig out that story very much in real time on the ground.”

    For those who think Tony would have eventually married Asia, perhaps, but if he had he’d prob have wound up with the same cause of death, just delayed, when that marriage inevitably ended (badly).

  102. izzy1957 says:

    If he had just been able to stick around, I truly believe he would not have later followed through with marriage to her. That’s what I’m gonna believe.

    He just needed to cross the abyss or get beyond it rather than to perhaps think or believe he was in too deep to get himself out.

    I’m sitting here wishing he had learned meditation. I’m sure it wouldn’t have been an easy thing especially for him, but he had the self-discipline required to see him through the learning curve if you will. I didn’t see any of his shows save for one that I live-streamed for Budapest. Did any of his travels expose him or take him into places where people practiced meditation on a daily basis?

  103. That’s not Zach Zamboni in the IG story with Eric. It’s Todd Liebler.
    If you go to Todd’s IG, you’ll see his last post with AB and Eric.

  104. Actually, I think Todd is the one rolling the camera, but the gent riding the bike is the one in the IG story. Doesn’t look like Zach who has a smaller build (several google images available of Zach)

  105. Lynn says:

    Melania Trump is following in Asia’s footsteps with the cryptic clothing messages:

  106. Katalin Eisenberg says:

    izzy1957 … I am from Budapest, it was so nice that he went to Budapest

  107. mrc551 says:

    AA can’t block everyone, and she can’t be everywhere. If a couple hundred, or so people posted this link everywhere they went on the internet it would not take long for the world to see her in her true light.

    This article is wonderful compilation of AA’s greatest hits–complete with many photos! She put it all out there for the world to see. Here is the lovely condensed version of her life story.

    Italy is a deeply Catholic country. Italians are very MAMA and FAMILY oriented, the mother and family are central in Italian culture. Nothing new or interesting about that. But, read this article and you will see that AA’s personal beliefs and value systems do not, generally speaking, fall within accepted Italian social systems.

    X-Factor Italy is a prime time show. I wonder why they would want her on a family show. Please share this link!

  108. ABisWithUs says:

    Excuse my ignorance please. Did the CNN family know what was going on behind the scenes with Parts Unknown as it relates to Tony and the drama that surrounded him and, to an extent, the Parts Unknown crew (ZPC)? I ask this because CNN immediately stated “suicide” and did not get into details or even really discuss any further investigation and say things such as “details to follow” and all of that jazz. Again, sorry for my question.

  109. ABisWithUs says:

    I’m sure ZPZ knew all of the baggage that AA brought to the table. Somebody inside had to have said something to people CNN, during the course of the last 2 years. Whether intentional or not, people talk and news spreads. This is just how we operate in society. This is why I asked the above question.

  110. catsworking says:

    Welcome, Opus! Thanks for the ID. All I saw were pictures of 2 guys in baseball caps and glasses, and one had a beard. No idea if they were the same person.

  111. catsworking says:

    Welcome, Katalin! You are lucky that Tony made it to your home.

    Where I live, Richmond, Virginia, has been growing like crazy as a food scene and I had hoped he might one day do a show here, but that’s not going to happen now.

  112. catsworking says:

    So many comments to get through. I just approved all that were pending to include some new people, but I’m on my laptop and it just erased AGAIN a nice comment I’d just finished typing and I see no undo, so I’m going to wait to study all this stuff and links in the morning when I’m on my big PC without the fucking touchpad. But please carry on everyone. See you in the A.M.

  113. Farid says:

    Karen: you should put a tip jar on your site. Please do.

    You’re providing us with a safe forum, away from lunatics to talk about our favorite story teller and I personally cannot thank you enough.

    Fate is a funny thing, ain’t it? Imagine if Tony had dated Nigella Lawson instead of this ogress, Asia. Where’d he have been?

    By the way, so looking forward to watching his Lower East Side’s episode. Tony: Wherever you are, I hope they have Pappy Van Winkle!

    Peace and love to all.

  114. catsworking says:

    Farid, thank you so much. (I’m on my iPad now.) You hit my sweet spot by mentioning Nigella. She’s the one I wished for him to settle down with. They would have made a great power culinary couple, without petty jealousy toward Ottavia. What might have been…. It makes my heart hurt.

  115. Morganlf says:

    On instagram anorther site like justicefortony


    Truth will out.

  116. Lynn says:

    Just checked out orange janitor’s pics. Why is that crazy beyatch looking right into the camera defiant and smiling as she’s dancing with Hugo if she was so upset about the photos getting out? You can see it in her eyes ‘oh yeaaa, I can’t wait till Tony sees this!’

  117. bamboo.skewer says:

    There is something that bugs me. Maybe I’m being too much of a detective and trying to imagine what the heck was going on …

    Asia asking the photographer to delete and saying he’ll ruin her life, I don’t fully understand, because there are numerous pictures of her behind the bar making hand movements and weird faces at the camera – she is hamming it up and putting on a show just for the camera. She is right in front of the camera, a few feet away, filling the whole frame. If she truly didn’t want to be photographed, would she have done that? Unfortunately those pics are hard to find now. It was the same restaurant, same polka dotted shirt, where she was photographed dancing with and hugging Hugo.

    Then, if AFTER she was caught by a photographer, she’s out in public with Hugo again for several days? She knows a pap was on her tail, but she’s still out there publicly. If she wanted sex without getting caught, stay in the hotel! Hugo knows she’s famous, if he wants her, and she wanted to keep privacy, surely she could have called the shots and said let’s not go out. They could have food delivered. They didn’t have to be out in public. So … infer what you wish …

  118. Adele Prass says:

    Karen, this really is amazing. People, who admired Tony are just flocking to Cats Working, to see what you have to say and to opine and commiserate. And such interesting people. I wish we could all get together and raise a glass. I wonder if sooner or later, Asia will be trolling you.

  119. bamboo.skewer says:

    Ahhhh … see this interview with the pap from the restaurant!

    It appears HUGO asked for the photos to not be published, he was the one who said the photos would ruin him. Which makes sense!

    This was after the photographer sent a young boy to ask for Hugo’s name, and Hugo answered. UH-OH!

    Translate to English if you need. It’s near the end of the Q&A.

  120. bamboo.skewer says:

    Page Six might have gotten it wrong by saying Asia asked for the shots to be deleted? Might be because in the interview, they wrote “Asia” instead of “And” so it could be easy to read it wrong. But in that article, it clearly says “he” not “she”. Unless it’s translating to English incorrectly. Ugh.

    Found them. Here are 24 pictures from the restaurant. With Hugo. Does she look like someone who doesn’t want to be photographed?

    People should save these photos.

  121. feijicha says:

    also, I haven’t seen this referenced here (I may have missed it) so am posting this link to an essay by Tom Colicchio’s wife Lori Silverbush about the dangers of romanticizing the ‘bad boy chef’ image:
    View at
    I encourage you to read the full essay.
    Here are just a few bits:

    The sadness of reading about Anthony Bourdain’s death last Friday morning was deepened by yet another description of him as “the original bad boy chef.” …..
    How about we all agree to start calling it what it is: unresolved pain.
    The myth of the “bad boy chef” sends a damaging message to young people — especially young male chefs — that the debauchery of great culinary figures was somehow about their coolness, their machismo, and their power.

    Tony would have told you a different story.

    In fact, he did. Anthony Bourdain was the first to call out the bacchanalian oblivion of his past as an escape from darker, sadder truths hidden within the folds of his complex psychology. He was an aware and thoughtful soul who rejected those very archetypes he felt his success had helped to encourage.

    … But kitchens are also frenetic spaces where emotional pain goes overlooked and unsupported, fueling depression, anxiety, and low self-esteem. Enter drugs and alcohol, which lift the negative self-talk just long enough to rinse and repeat. The ‘bad boy’ fiction reinforces this toxic cycle: Power through, young man. Pain is for pussies.

    The brawny John Wayne-ian solitude of the bad-boy myth is corrosive: Left alone, the mental chaos of early adulthood can morph into full-blown depression, a real and progressive disease. Like cancer, depression has an agnostic disregard for success, wealth, or talent. It can go into remission, or escalate overnight. Depression marinates our brains in despair and etches new neural pathways, rewiring the mind’s architecture in ways that research is still uncovering. The effectiveness of treatments like talk therapy, medication and meditation is well documented, but the feverish speculation that follows a high-profile suicide ignores the neurochemical evidence and reinforces a false narrative of weakness and blame: She had everything to live for! What pushed him over the edge? It’s not hard to imagine the added shame this could layer over the listening psyche of another soul in that fragile place.
    ….It’s time we recognize that the legendary revelry of “bad boy” chefs was masking something else, and talk about it honestly. The next generation needs to know that sharing their struggles with depression or mental illness is a sign of strength, and that in seeking help, they will be supported and celebrated, as Anthony Bourdain deserves to be, for their honesty and humanity above all.

  122. feijicha says:

    sorry, I didn’t know posting the link would turn it into a massive graphic once I posted my comment.

  123. feijicha says:

    a really lovely story of Tony mentoring a young, female chef that just shows his incredible kind side:

  124. Farid says:

    What a beautiful story! Thanks for sharing feijicha.

  125. Carol says:

    mrc552… Hello… just curious about the timing of the Cocksucker Blues comment you saw posted on Asia’s IG… you said it was immediately after the “you know who you are” T-shirt post, is that correct? From what I’ve read, the “you know who you are” T-shirt post occurred about 3 hrs before the announcement of Tony’s death on that horrible Friday morning. That has been reported several times. So if she posted it following that post, he would have already passed. I actually believe he committed suicide on Thursday evening, but of course don’t have anything to back that up. His last IG story post on the ISB link was from Thursday, correct? And his last IG post was the lunch photo “light lunch” posted on Wednesday I believe. Anyway, you mentioned that you thought they were communicating back and forth via IG story… but I believe he was already gone when AA’s “you know who you are” post occurred…. does this make any sense? 🙂

  126. Morganlf says:

    Felichia thanks for that post from Tom Collichios wife.

    She’s a cool as shit & so is he.

    Asia,on purpose, sent the ‘Fuck you’ post to Tony that night, along with screaming, tempestuous, diatribes, via phone and text, that interrupted his work as per witnesses on his last shoot in France.

    She continued to harass CNN. She never relented, apparently on a drug/alcohol fueled binge.

    Did he see that post ? And the one that quickly followed, “ I have the cocksucker blues” probably.

    She intended him to: she was toying with him. She’d that week already humiliated him publicly with Hugo Clement. Relentlessly, she badgered him even recounting in detail her escapades with other men. Hugo was only a handy tool.
    She was a monster.

    On Mother’s Day May 13, 3 weeks before he HUNG HIMSELF he gushed on her IG post of a younger less-tatted Asia with her 2 kids ‘I cannot love a photo more. Two brilliant enchanted and enchanting children. And the most extraordinary mom. Happy mother’s day so beautiful all of you.”

    Not a word to the mother of his child Ottavia or his own child Ariane.

    I’ve posted this before, but then I didn’t know Anthony was forbidden to mention his family, by the macabre, grotesque Asia Argento.

    Everyone knew she was bad ju-ju…Souces have contacted news outlets, and not one will pick this up. TMZ where are you?

    No press or tabloids wants to talk about it because of Asia Argento’s false proclamation of being a victim of Weinstein and her speech at Cannes.

    She is practiced at stealing husbands. She was with HW, for five years he supported her, even tho he had a wife and babies.

    She would entice boyfriends like Vincent Gallo into attacking Harvey..then return to Harvey.. she cast around for years and finally duped her brainwashed slave Bourdain into championing her claims against Weinstein.

    Oh fuck it I can’t say it better than this:

    Yes she meant to hurt Anthony and it worked. Her Instagram feed is not one of sorrow.

    As a poster and friend, may I say I echo what so many here have said? I welcome, need this forum.

    We have a connection to Tony..and Ottavia.

    Our grief here is real. As Donna brilliantly said it’s a “virtual wake”. I find it cathartic.

  127. creiber says:

    Interesting comment on Michele Civetta’a (mcivetta) instagram page (Asia’s Ex husband) dated april 2018.

    On a photo of their son: “Take him away from Asia. I know you tried before, but you should try again. She’s an unfit mother. She’s ruining him. She should be kept away from every minor.”

  128. catsworking says:

    Lynn, thanks for the link to that fascinating interview. Yes, it sounds like when Asia was around, she could throw in a monkey wrench at any time, but I guess it was for the better in that instance. That may be one of the episodes I didn’t watch because the place didn’t particularly interest me.

  129. catsworking says:

    izzy, I’m sure his friend Eric, who’s a Buddhist, practices meditation. And I bet he had tried, without success, to get Tony into the habit over the years. If only he had been able to latch onto that to calm his mind the same way he latched onto MMA after years of watching Ottavia do it.

    So many “if onlys”…

  130. catsworking says:

    Lynn, Melania Trump is a disgrace, and I chew tin foil every time I think of the money this country is wasting on her upkeep. Whoever she was sending a message to with that ridiculous and insulting jacket, she made herself look as bad as Asia with her “Fuck Everyone” T-shirt.

  131. catsworking says:

    ABisWithUs, I would imagine that CNN simply followed the lead of the French authorities, who almost immediately declared, “Move along, mes amis, nothing to see here. It was a suicide. Tant pis.” They were the ones with jurisdiction at that point.

    Kind of ironic that this country’s foremost news network dropped the ball on doing its own story, but went straight into “remembrance” mode. Or maybe they did and I missed it.

  132. catsworking says:

    Bamboo, you got it right, as far as I understood it. First, she was photographed in a bar with Hugo over the weekend. Then on Monday she was in the streets with Hugo, and a second paparazzi took those shots.

    And reports said she was seen coming and going from the hotel all weekend with Hugo. It was as if she was deliberately flaunting him to attract notice that would get back to Tony.

  133. catsworking says:

    Adele, I doubt it. She’s moved on. She doesn’t want to see anyone saying kind words about the man she chewed up and spit out. She’s probably out there trolling for whatever fresh catch she can attract with the chum of being on X Factor. She’s a BIG star, remember?

  134. catsworking says:

    Bamboo, I did translate this interview, and I also got that it was Asia who asked for the photos not to be published. Hmmm…

    Well, by Monday she’d changed her mind, because she took to the streets to make sure SOMEBODY with a camera caught her getting cozy with Hugo. I bet he’s regretting that he ever laid eyes on her.

  135. catsworking says:

    Bamboo, THANK YOU for this link. At the very top is the video clip of Asia trying to rub her tits on Christopher Doyle after they wrapped the Hong Kong shoot. Watch his hands and body language. Even though they were dancing crazy, he was careful not to get too feely, but she swung around and went after her. Right in front of Tony.

    Had he lived, here’s hoping that he would have finally grown tired knowing she was screwing everybody whenever he wasn’t around and dumped her.

  136. catsworking says:

    feijicha, great link and discussion of the role of alcohol. Bourdain said that he never drank at home, and he hated it when he’d be in an airport and some asshole would come up to him and suggest they have a drink together, like that’s all he did, all day, every day.

    For someone with his past, constantly being in situations where alcohol was served and it would have been rude to turn it down, or appear like a priss and suck the joy out of the scene, was a real dilemma.

  137. catsworking says:

    Thanks for another fine link. I found this essay and read it yesterday. Have to admit I didn’t realize Colicchio was married, but she seems great.

    Funny how all these guys attracted such nice wives even during their crazy chef days. Ripert is another example. Gordon Ramsay may be another, although I’ve only seen his wife and know nothing about her. In Ramsay’s case, he’s still an asshole, but for some reason I love to watch anything he does. I think I vicariously vent my own frustration with the world through his screaming.

  138. catsworking says:

    Welcome, Jorie! Thanks for the link. It’s been shared here in a few places. Wish I spoke Italian because Google Translate is pretty spotty.

  139. catsworking says:

    Carol, the way I’ve pieced it together, although I never saw the “cocksucker blues” bit, is that she posted that BEFORE the “Fuck Everyone.” She took “CB” down and replaced it later with “FE.” But I could be wrong.

    And I think the fact that he didn’t come down to dinner Thursday night indicates that’s when he probably died. The French seemed to make no effort to establish exact time of death, or didn’t release it if they did. Perhaps they knew he’d been gone for hours, but to put it out there would have people screaming that Eric and the crew should have done something to stop him. We’ve seen none of that, and it’s been presented as if he died just before Eric found him because they did try to revive him.

    So maybe Friday morning he went one last round with Asia and said, “Fuck this.” Whoever has his phone may have the answer to that.

  140. catsworking says:

    Welcome, creiber! You’ve introduced a new angle into all of this. I haven’t seen anything from Asia’s ex-husband. But I can say I couldn’t agree with him more.

  141. Jorie says:

    Thanks for your great work “catsworking”,

    I am sure you have also seen the below Tweet from June 5, but I wonder how this guy knew before the tabloids published the photos on Jun 6. He also seems American and not Italian:

  142. feijicha says:

    I’ve been trying to take a step back from my personal emotions and think about all this with a little more objective detachment. In our anger about Asia (deserved), a couple of facts seem to have slipped by without much comment. We all thought as his legal next of kin Ottavia would receive Tony’s ashes and be in charge of whatever sort of memorial might be held. Instead it appears his brother Chris is the point person for both. I didn’t follow anything about Tony’s family really at all, but have seen comments that he and Chris were not particularly close. Is this true? I have a vague recollection of Tony doing a show/segment preparing I *think* Thanksgiving dinner with his childhood family at one time…… So I’m wondering what, if anything, it means that she stepped back and let Chris handle things. (It could be that she was just too upset, of course).

    Though honestly you can never really know what ultimately caused someone to think suicide was their best option, particularly if they’ve struggled with depression, it would be interesting to know who he was communicating that week, and that night. What if he also had an argument with other people, because of his mood? I’m not saying this happened, nor am I casting any blame whatsoever, but just a hypothetical, what if he had a call with his wife and they argued about something as well? What I’m trying to say is we can’t know if it was such a direct link between any dialogue (phone, IG, whatever) with Asia and his actions, or if there was a cumulative effect of things on multiple fronts in his life, combined with his fatigue, that all just blended into a toxic mix?

    After reading a number of the recent articles about him and his lifestyle one could make the case that he spent a lot of his time trying to either numb or distract himself from something– as Colicchio’s wife says, the pain. He kept himself super busy with work, with travel, writing, and numbing himself of ‘taking the edge off’ with booze, cigarettes, weed, etc. On one of his IG posts he’s sitting on a deck or a rooftop overlooking a city at night and clearly has a bong or pipe in his hand. So much effort into keeping the chatter in his head distracted or toned down. People may take this totally the wrong way, but thinking about Tony it reminded me of something Charlie Sheen (yeah I know) said about himself, which was that work kept him on a more even keel, that when he was working he was far more under control and it was when he wasn’t working and didn’t have things to keep him busy and prepared etc. that his other side took over and he got himself into trouble.

    I just imagine Tony about to turn 62 and at some point (not necessarily that night) thinking about whether he could live his life at this kind of pace a whole lot longer, and what would his future be? I recall after he’d been with Ottavia (and maybe it was after his daughter was born) he said he could imagine dying like the Godfather, in his garden in Italy playing with his grandchildren. Such a pastoral vision. Yet ultimately he seemed to not be able to tone down his schedule and life to ever make that kind of scenario realistic. Then he said he wouldn’t marry again yet could see himself living with Asia and her kids….again a certain imagining or longing for something that resembled a more traditional home life. Part of him longed for it and part of him couldn’t tolerate (or risk?) a life so mundane. I’m just struck by how much effort he seemed to spend managing and maybe even trying to outrun his inner turmoil, whatever that was. He clearly had an addictive personality, and thrived on the adrenaline rush. It seems, to me anyway, that he had this ongoing struggle to reconcile these two contradictory sides to himself.

    How did AA play into this? I don’t know for sure. It seems a given that on the one hand she played into his adrenaline junkie side, the drama, etc., and on the other she dangled (at least the image of) domestic coziness that also on some level appealed to him — home at the kitchen table with her kids, etc. I think there were levels to the ways she hooked him in. I’m just hypothesizing on all of this, but who knows. Maybe even he didn’t really know.

  143. feijicha says:

    Just to add one last piece, after re reading some of the comments on here about AA constantly calling him and interrupting his work– if work was his way of staying focused and in control, it would make perfect sense that she would find ways to interrupt and disrupt the thing that was part of how he coped and kept it all together…. disrupting his work was another way of keeping him off balance and taking away an important tool in his management of himself.

    Which leads me to another thought– how he in ways adopted aspects of his partners over the years.. some of his habits when he was with Nancy, getting into the whole MMA, health and fitness, and close Italian family stuff with Ottavia, and then reverting back into the smoking and drinking and maybe drugs and drama with AA? One could speculate there was almost again an element of trying to get away from one’s own self…. which just now reminds me of one of his posts where he’s pictured with AA and he wrote something along the lines of ‘you made me forget myself’……

  144. I don’t know if it’s comforting or not that the toxicology came back clean except for non-narcotic in a therapeutic dose. At least that’s something.

  145. catsworking says:

    Jorie, I think Hugo accompanied Asia to Cannes, and he may have been the one who first posted her speech on stage there. So maybe that’s what this tweeter is referring to.

  146. catsworking says:

    Welcome, Krista! I’ve been busy all day and haven’t see that the tox results were in. That’s a relief for sure.

    But it takes us back to the external forces at work…

  147. catsworking says:

    feijicha, I can think of three shows that Tony did with his brother Chris:

    1. A No Reservations Christmas special years ago where they did the whole prep thing, and I think Tony cooked dinner for Chris’ whole family. Tony had a niece and nephew, who must be adults now.
    2. Tony and Chris went back to France to visit boyhood haunts from their vacations there. Not sure if it was later No Res or early Parts.
    3. I think Chris went with Tony when he ate his way across New Jersey because they grew up there. That was definitely Parts, and NJ now plans to turn their trip into an official Bourdain food trail in his memory.

    If I’ve missed any others, I’m sure someone else here will remember.

    That said, I don’t think they were particularly close. I feel he was closer to Ripert.

    When it came to work, especially his writing, he was very disciplined, getting up early to get it done every day. It’s well-documented that he wrote Kitchen Confidential before his shifts at the restaurant.

    When you think about his massive output, either with books, articles, graphic novels, comic books, TV scripts for his show and others (Treme on HBO), AND all the voiceover work that he wrote himself, there’s no way he could have been fucked up most of the time.

    And when he took up MMA, he immersed himself, losing 35 lbs. getting into probably the best physical shape of his life, and earning a blue belt in a relatively short time.

    The one thing you can say for Bourdain is that he never did anything half-ass. Even when it came to falling in love with a woman whose evil tendencies are off the charts.

    I think he considered himself a write above all else, so I always saw him retiring from TV to write. Maybe still write for TV, but work at his Ecco publishing imprint (which is going away) and produce more books himself.

    I can see where you think of Charlie Sheen, but that guy is just bat-shit crazy. Bourdain never allowed himself the luxury of letting go that way.

  148. catsworking says:

    feijicha, forgot one thing: Ottavia ceding control of the memorial to Chris.

    It makes perfect sense to me. He’s older and may have been involved in making arrangements for his dad (Tony’s parents were divorced when he was in his 20s, I believe. Gladys wasn’t mentioned as a survivor in Pierre’s obit.). Plus, if he and Tony really weren’t that close, he might have a bit easier time dealing with it.

    And since Tony and Ottavia had been separated for a few years, for her to step in now and take charge of everything would seem odd. (When my great-grandmother died when I was 14, I had a great-aunt by marriage no one ever saw who suddenly popped out of the woodwork and took charge of arrangements, disposing of her belongings, etc. It was pretty WTF??)

    Ottavia’s doing the right thing.

  149. feijicha says:

    No criticisms of anyone were intended by my comments.

    I wasn’t saying Tony was like Charlie, what I was noting was the concept that if you are wrestling with any kind of demons (Charlie– too many to count, Tony, maybe depression etc) keeping busy and having the discipline of work helps you to manage those demons. As you note, Tony was very disciplined about his work, which was sort of my point, that AA chose to disrupt his ability to focus on work and thus perhaps further mess with his head by disrupting his ability to stay focused and disciplined which helped him stay out of trouble (again not necessarily Charlie-type trouble, but his own trouble with depressive thoughts or whatever). I was just commenting on people using work and the discipline of work as a coping mechanism to stay on track (whatever that means in their own life) and how it seems intentionally or not AA’s actions disrupted that for Tony.

    All I was getting at overall was that clearly despite outward appearances there was a lot more churning under his surface and some of it took him to dark places. Work and that discipline appeared to have helped him stay out of the darker places, and she messed with that.

  150. Todays nytimes article says Tony’s mother will get her first tattoo next week , using Tony’s tattoo artist. His name on the inside of her wrist. That really has me tearing up. It says she didn’t approve of his tattoos but will honor him with this 1 . So darn sad for her to lose her son this way

  151. Lenora says:

    This has been a very depressing June and all of it has been from outside of my IRL life. Thank you Karen for providing a space for people to discuss and grieve. So many have posted before me with such thoughtful comments I am not sure I have anything to add. However count me as another one who has never been so affected by a celebrity death and I am 54, so there have been a few. I suppose his death is so unnecessarily tragic and I have a sinking feeling if he made it through the night the crisis would have been averted. I got to admit I’m angry at him for allowing himself to get so caught up in a moment that he could see no other way out than suicide. However, I do keep coming back to AA and wonder how she must have been pushing all his buttons for him to have taken such drastic solution. That all said we all need someone right now who can show us at the end of the day we are all human and we all enjoy a good meal shared among friends. Sadly that person has left us. Godspeed Anthony Bourdain.

  152. Jorie says:

    catsworking that damning tweet was from June 5…day or day before Anthony went into dark mood per Eric Ripert. Cannes was 3 weeks earlier.

  153. ABisWithUs says:

    Thanks for your reply Karen. I’m still curious to know if the CNN family knew the “behind-the-scenes” drama that Tony was battling since he met AA. I would imagine as the employer for Bourdain, the higher-ups at CNN would have inside intel to a certain degree as it relates to Bourdain and AA.

    I also heard that Zach Zamboni (from ZPZ) said that “it was the beginning of the end” during the Rome episode. Do you know anything about this?

    I am so saddened that Anthony Bourdain went down like that – what a treasure he was and will continue to be for us.

  154. catsworking says:

    feijicha, I haven’t read the newer comments yet, but rest assured I took no offense at anything you said or thought you were criticizing anyone.

    In fact, when you mentioned AA breaking Tony’s discipline, I flashed to how I read the paper sitting on the floor every morning so I can spread it out. Invariably, Roc or Max will saunter by and throw themselves down in front of me, being very careful to cover whatever article I was reading. It’s uncanny how they know!

    I pictured Asia doing that figuratively to Tony. Couldn’t stand him focusing on a shoot she wasn’t involved with, so she threw herself on it making it impossible for anybody to concentrate.

    One thing Bourdain was always up-front about what that he had a dark side. But the sunny side he showed to the world made us all think he had it well under control. And how could he screw up having “the best job in the world” as he always said?

    To run with Asia, he had no choice but to bring his dark side out to play. In the end, it won.

    SPEAK OF THE DEVIL. As I’m typing this, Roc just appeared from spending all day downstairs and threw himself between me and the keyboard. He does this EVERY day at right about this time because he knows it’s about quitting time for me.

  155. catsworking says:

    Welcome, Lenora! I think we all agree with you. But… if his tumultuous relationship with Asia had gone on that way for much longer, if he hadn’t died in France, he might have done it somewhere else. They could have done it together in their hotel in Rome because that’s the kind of sick freak she is.

    I go through spells where I want to scream at him in rage for throwing his wonderful life away. But we don’t know the whole story. Maybe Asia wasn’t all of it.

  156. catsworking says:

    So Hugo may have been the salt Asia was rubbing Tony’s nose in for a while.

  157. Jenn says:

    Dealing with the sense of loss by delving into Tony’s life and family history, I came across this interview from the Guardian in 2013 with a poignant and quite touching description of his father, Pierre–shed light for me one source of TB’s unique and creative sensibility:

  158. catsworking says:

    ABisWithUs, I’ve thought those EXACT SAME WORDS about Rome. The beginning of the end. It truly was, although nobody knew at the time because who’d ever heard of Asia outside Italy? I took his word for it that she was “magnificent,” although I saw nothing myself to back it up.

    We all just watched her consume him like a python slowly digesting a rabbit and there wasn’t a damn thing anybody could do about it. He was beyond reach — even of his friends and family.

    I don’t think CNN had a clue. Sure, stories may have circulated from the crew, but they were a loyal bunch and wouldn’t have ratted him out. I’m sure what CNN heard from their star Tony, they were damn lucky to have the multi-talented Asia Argento onboard. He always said the brass was totally hands-off with him, so they wouldn’t have been nosing into his personal life. Why create a confrontation and risk having him walk, like he did at Food Network and Travel Channel?

    As for Zach, I think we’re still trying to figure out if he really got fired in Hong Kong after some spat with Asia.

  159. catsworking says:

    Welcome, Jenn, and thanks for that link. I’m pretty sure I read that interview back in 2013 when it first came out. It’s really good and almost uncharacteristically wistful. I don’t remember Tony talking about his father that much anywhere else.

  160. Carol says:

    Does anyone have a source to the statements that AA routinely broke up PU shoots by phone calls?

    All I recall reading was from the JusticeforTony IG post saying that she called repeatedly during the last shoot in France. I haven’t seen any other reports. It seems to me that sometimes on this blog, there is one report of something, and suddenly it is kind of blown out of proportion and extrapolated to say or state that it happened much more often than it did.

    I think it would serve us all well to stick just to the facts that have been reported by reliable sources rather than extrapolating to what may or may not have happened, without stating they are opinions.

    Case in point the Parkinson’s and HIV/illness theories that almost became accepted as fact here. It’s really easy to armchair analyze and come up with theories and then they become taken as gospel… even with regard to AA. Granted, I completely agree she was responsible for AB’s downfall… that is clear. But there have been many wild extrapolations herein that may or may not be true.

    Opinions are fine… we all are trying to figure this out… but let’s please be careful not to then convert them to “facts” please.

    Given that this is such a really great blog, with lots of good, well-sourced info, I think it’s even more important to differentiate that which we know for sure from theories without any backup. Just some thoughts. Cheers.

  161. Carol says:

    Karen, I remember you made comment about Bourdain saying Zamboni was mentored by Doyle… as he says in this article. But was not sure if this article has been shared? Six days after publication… he was dead. So sudden, so tragic. Delete pls if this has already been shared.

  162. catsworking says:

    Carol, no, the HIV and Parkinson’s rumors did NOT “almost become accepted as fact” here. We have been spit-balling ALL the possibilities for two weeks. I could delete all comments that don’t measure up to New York Times-quality, multi-sourced and confirmed journalism, but I prefer to be lenient unless someone jumps the shark with verifiable lies, which no one has. I even tolerate trolls, who have been mercifully few and not persistent.

    These days, a lot of information comes from social media from reputable people who, for reasons of their own, want to remain unknown. That’s when we have to pull out the old “bullshit detector” and decide who to believe.

    The other day someone posted a link to an interview with Parts Unknown executive producer Lydia Tenaglia who said they were shooting in Lagos according to plan when Asia mentioned something about the acid rock scene there to Tony. Suddenly they had to juggle the plan last-minute to fit it in. I believe Lydia.

    We don’t have a verified crew name for the account of Asia interrupting the last shoot in France with phone calls, but given that the photos with Huge came out during the shoot and Tony was in a “dark mood” as reported by the reputable source Eric Ripert, it seems plausible to me.

    It may have been this same unverified source that said Asia was drunk and disruptive on the Hong Kong set.

    OK, that’s three episodes of the show. Can we draw a conclusion, given her grating personality and the roller coaster temperament she’s displayed on IG since he died, that she wasn’t necessarily an asset to Parts Unknown when she was around? I think we can.

    Rest assured I do my homework and try NEVER to put anything out here that I can’t present as fact. When I make mistakes, I admit them and correct them. And if I post opinions or educated guesses, I identify them as such. I can’t exercise that much control over my commenters, but I still welcome them all to share their thoughts.

  163. Morganlf says:

    Nowhere does it say Zach was fired. Justicefortony described how she fought with the crew and Tony backed her to the point that he fired a long time cinematographer, there was more than one in the crew. It could be Zach but doubtful, they were close he did an episode on Maine with Zach as a co host. He’s from Maine, they visited his home, family, haunts etc.

    Ottavia did not, I think, cede all responsibility to Chris Bourdain, I believe it was a group discussion.

    Tony did an episode of No Res with Chris in Uruguay, chasing down the family’s odd tie to the area. Then Chris wrote a rather funny piece on the experience posted to the No Reservations website.

    Also look at the pic O posted of Ariane singing on IG Under the comments Big Gay Ice Cream posted …Tony would have been sitting in the back with me and Chris… that may have been the brother.

    The rooster jones twitter post on June 5 is fascinating and must have set of a shit storm.

  164. Morganlf says:

    Form the Hollywood reporter article:

    Fortified by the occasional white wine from one of the city’s 7-Eleven stores, Chris personally shot and oversaw nearly every scene: leaping in and out of frame to move lights, mentoring shooters (Frederic Menou, Olga Abramson and Zach Zamboni) and remaining after wrap to tell stories from his long and magnificent career.
    So one of those 3 got the axe.

    Carol, the info here is well sourced it is also the nature of the Cats to toss out red meat, chew on it and arrive at conclusions.

    Frequently Karen and I disagree, she posts all options. But I will say I have an ererily accurate track record. in all matters Bourdain my gut instincts nearly always prove out.

  165. Morganlf says:

    Justicefortony has been a reliable source and is followed by Ottavia.

    Whoever it is, has first hand and I believe credible stories with details. JFT posted the bit about calls interrupting the shoot, and Asia being drunk and useless on set in Hong Kong.

  166. Hi Morgan, It was justicefortony who said it was Zach who was fired. He mentioned it in the comments the morning after his first post. I’m trying to find it but their’s over 600 comments to get through. He has 2 or 3 comments mixed in throughout .I will try and get a screenshot.

  167. Morganlf says:

    View this post on Instagram

    My A where you be

    A post shared by asiaargento (@asiaargento) on

    Captioned: two weeks without you
    Her IG “stories” feed is bizarre with full on sobbing pics, & video, shots of her & Tony while she lights a candle, morose music….


  168. Jorie says:

    When is the Hong Kong episode out? This quote quote from Anthony makes me very very sad. He got 100 percent fooled:

  169. I linked my instagram account . I snipped the comments from justicefortony where he says it was Zach who was fired. Sorry I couldn’t figure out how to post a picture here.

  170. Morganlf says:

    Jackie thanks, I’ve been looking and still can’t find it. Tragic they were buddies see my comment above.

    Another victim of exposure to Argento.

  171. catsworking says:

    Morgan, I’m sure I saw someone say it was Zach that got fired because I did a double-take. Mushroomgeek maybe? I know it was on the justicefortony IG thread.

    Uruguay! Yes, I completely forgot about that one. Thanks.

    And you’re right. I was told the family, including Ottavia, discussed what to do to honor Tony. I didn’t mean to imply that Ottavia walked away from everything, only that she’s letting Chris make the arrangements.

  172. catsworking says:

    Jorie, the Hong Kong episode aired the weekend before Tony died. It was the same weekend Asia was shacked up i Rome with Hugo. You may be able to find it On Demand or maybe streaming. And CNN will probably rerun it sometime soon to fill the summer space.

  173. catsworking says:

    So Asia’s back into mourning mode. Did she by any chance pour ashes on her head and whip herself on the back in her “stories”? That’s what she was mocking the other day. Guess defiance mode didn’t get her as many sympathy likes. Her tattoos make my skin crawl.

  174. Carol says:

    Karen… I really think there is only one report of Asia calling and disrupting the show, such that they had to stop production, and that was from JusticeforTony re the final shoot in France, who obviously has insider information. He didn’t say that it happened before, but that could be just omission.

    Re The Lydia Tenaglia interview… my reading of what she said, that was in response to a glowing question about “how do you find all the unusual angles in the places where you shoot such as the acid rock segment in Lagos Nigeria?”, was a positive interpretation of AA calling to offer the tidbit of info of 70s acid rock in Lagos, something they had not known about. She describes being flexible enough to incorporate such fascinating stories into their production as a positive aspect of their team… she does not in any way say that AA created a problem by calling in the info.

    That is my interpretation anyway. Here is the text below:

    “It feels so vibrant, more so now, I think, than ever. There’s always some really surprising element that makes you sit up and go, “Oh, god, I had no idea about that.” Like the acid rock in the Lagos episode. We [at Explore Parts Unknown] were all just thinking, “Wow!” And yet you manage to do that episode after episode. How does that happen?

    Yeah, I mean, it happens from a number of different angles. One is, we at this point—having traveled to over 100 countries around the world—we have connections, really fantastic connections in practically every place. So first and foremost, finding a really good fixture on the ground who can get you inside access to a world and to characters … [it] is imperative to do that.

    Then, at this point this show has had such momentum that there’s people coming to the table like Queens of the Stone Age or Anton Newcombe or Darren Aronofsky. They’re bringing their own set of “You need to see this” or “You need to experience this” or “You need to show a piece of this equation” to the table. The acid rock thing, for example … the crew was already in Lagos. The acid rock thing was never part of the original treatment. Then, if I’m not mistaken, I believe Asia Argento, who’s Tony’s girlfriend, told him, “Did you realize that the Nigerians had this incredible acid rock cultural explosion at one point and there’s all this incredible, great music that came out of there?”

    That information came late to the crew, so there was sort of a pivot that happened on the ground during that production where they followed that lead, and they were able to dig out that story very much in real time on the ground. That happens, too, a lot. Suddenly you’re there, and what was deftly planned in preproduction and outlined on a treatment suddenly becomes an improvisational exercise once you’re on the ground, [when] you’re meeting people and they’re kind of leading you in one direction. So there’s a piece of the show that’s very spontaneous like that, very improvisational. You have to just be prepared and nimble and flexible enough to follow those leads when they do happen.”

    That’s all I have to say, I don’t mean to start an argument… I just think the work you are doing here is really great and I very much appreciate it, and I hope it can be a source for other news outlets to rely on.

  175. catsworking says:

    Well, that letter from Jenny & Chris was weird. I could have sworn Tony said “to fall in love WITH Hong Kong,” and than “to fall in love IN Hong Kong,” not Asia. That would have been too sappy obvious, even in his besotted state. That sentence is about his first words in the episode, while he’s sitting on the ferry, so you don’t have to look far.

    I don’t have that episode on the DVR. Maybe someone who has it could double-check that for me.

  176. catsworking says:

    Carol, to be clear, the photographers were mentored by Doyle only during that shoot while he was there. He was not a long-term mentor to any of them as far as I know. He’s lived in Hong Kong for many years. Bourdain didn’t even know him before he agreed to appear on the show.

    It’s OK to repeat a link for newcomers. Thanks!

  177. Carol says:

    JusticeforTony did say Zach was fired on his post on IG. But another person ‘robbysmooves’ said that Zach was sent home midway through the shoot so his name could be on the credits. Fyi. So not sure if he was actually fired, or just asked to leave for that episode. Or perhaps he quit after being treated like that. 😦

  178. catsworking says:

    Carol, I have no such aspirations, although the BBC did contact me once about doing a radio interview about something that one of my cats blogged about years ago. Then they ran out of time and didn’t use me.

    And I hardly think Lydia or anyone else on the crew was going to bitch about Tony’s girlfriend’s interference during a shoot while he was alive. What I see here in her comments about Asia is extreme tact. I could be wrong. Maybe Lydia LOVED her.

    Unfortunately, I don’t think Anderson Cooper, Christiane Amanpour, or Richard Engle happened to be on set at the other times Asia was a disruption to give us firsthand, fully vetted reporting on it, so I guess we discount all the stories from people who seemed to be associated with Tony in some professional way and instead marvel at Asia’s creative genius and all she contributed to make the show so much better.

    Except that now its star is dead and so is the show.

  179. The voice over on the Hongkong episode may be sappy , but it is sadly true. These are his exact words “to fall in love with asia is one thing. To fall in love in asia is another. Both have happened to me. The star ferry to kawloon at night, the lights of hong kong behind me. It’s a gift, a dream, a curse. The best thing. the happiest thing, yet also the loneliest thing in the world. “

  180. Morganlf says:

    I don’t think knowing what we know from first hand accounts, it’s a big leap to posit Asia spent the week prior to Tony hanging himself taunting him with any means possible: like texts and screaming, multiple calls… social media.

    Just because we don’t have the texts or video doesn’t mean it didn’t happen.

    The reliable source said she was controlling, dangerous and brainwashed him.

    We have seen the photos of cavorting with another man for several days.

    The tweet made directly to tony and Asia on June 5 by Rooster, “Hugo Clement banging your girl Tony.”

    JFT documents she was drunk on set in Hong K.

    Her ex husband posting on IG and begged to take their son away she was unfit.

    By her words she fucked HW for 5 years, while has was married with small kids.

    Vincent Gallo a former bf turned on her in print.

    Carol, why the insistence the call that shut down the shoot was an isolated incident?

    She was pure violent evil. She is a sociopath and a catalyst.

  181. Daisy says:

    Catching up on all the comments here. As more information is being revealed one thing really strikes me as odd is just how much influence he allowed her to have over his life right from the very begining of the relationship he was tiptoeing around her.

    He had pictures and comments about her splashed all over his social media accounts and making statements in the media like “This is the happiest I can remember being” and “Experiencing a happiness I haven’t yet known” or something to that effect. I mean what does that say to the other women he was married too…’s rather insulting. Praising her as a mother (which is really unbelievable) but not one word about the mother of his own daughter, which incidentally he was still married too! Yes, I know she was jealous and he didn’t want to piss her off…but really he elevated her to a status that she never earned. Walking on eggshells in fear that he would say or do something to anger her like she was his wife. She was a girlfriend at best and one he didn’t even see that often. Very disappointed to see how he totally catered to her at the expense of his own family, coworkers etc. I know he was “under her spell” but he really went way beyond what was warranted for just a girlfriend.

  182. catsworking says:

    Jackie, THANK YOU! OMG, how did I miss that reference to Asia??!! I was so enthralled by the image of him sitting there with all the lights in the background that my ears heard something else.

    What prophetic words, and he would have composed them sometime after the January shoot, maybe in the spring? He knew he was screwed and maybe he couldn’t see a way out. He must have known he’d be doing the remake of Fatal Attraction if he tried to get away from her.

    But on the other hand, maybe he didn’t want to.

  183. catsworking says:

    Morgan, thank you. You laid out the facts as we have them beautifully.

    The only info unverified (by us, although he has other followers who back up his stories on IG) is from JFT, but why would this person suddenly come forward with information so specific to those shoots? Is he really a Russian troll trying to get Trump re-elected, or someone who wants the truth about Asia’s influence on Tony to be known?

    Given what Asia herself has provided, abundant evidence of what a deviated, fucked-up mess she is, I believe JFT.

    Maybe we’re just being trolled.

  184. Zach’s website ( has his CV (which I imagine he keeps up-to-date since he’s such a pro). He does not list any episodes from Season 11 for Parts Unknown: Anthony Bourdain -CNN. The Hong Kong episode aired on June 3rd, but it was shot in January 2018 (you can check AB’s IG for January posts in HK). Frederic Manou and Olga Abramson are tagged in those HK posts – no mention of Zach.

  185. catsworking says:

    Daisy, this is such a good point. I really wasn’t following all his social media accounts during the Asia years because I didn’t like her and wasn’t interested in what they were doing together.

    I know his image is of the ever-youthful bad boy, but what I feel Asia did to him was elder abuse. First, she isolated him from his family and friends. Then she terrorized and humiliated him. I don’t know if it was all sex or that he could talk to her about weird, obscure movies or whatever. At least the one thing she seemed not to accomplish was to pull him back into drugs.

    He seemed to have this inexplicable attraction to her, coarse and plain as she is, and to keep her in his bed, he had to constantly praise her to the high heavens and pretend his real life never existed. Maybe he feared for his loved ones’ safety. It was beyond sick. She was like a dominatrix and he willingly debased himself for her favors.

    The more we try to analyze and make sense of it, the more questions it raises. Bottom line is that Tony’s demons met Asia’s demons and only one of them came out of the encounter alive. Unfortunately, it wasn’t Tony.

  186. catsworking says:

    Opus, thank you very much for this insight into Zach. I would seem that, indeed, Zach was the one fired in Hong Kong, validating justicefortony’s story.

    Now, if we can only get Anderson Cooper to verify and report this nationally on CNN, it may pass muster with my readers here. 😉

  187. Daisy says:

    Cats, This is so on point, “Bottom line is that Tony’s demons met Asia’s demons and only one of them came out of the encounter alive. Unfortunately, it wasn’t Tony.”

    Elder Abuse, I never considered that but it’s an interesting point. We all know she emotionally and verbally abused him. I am not assigning blame to him but he does bear some responsibility in allowing this monster to have so much power and control over his life. He could have said no to her demands and he could have put his foot down. I know he didn’t for fear of losing her but still it’s hard to fathom how such a smart man could be so blind. It wasn’t like she kept her evil hidden it was in full view. A quick check of her background would scare off most men. Yes, they may have a tryst or an affair with her but to leave your wife and daughter and to go to the extremes he did to keep her. But, like you said, it was his demons meeting hers and what a terrible outcome for Tony.

  188. catsworking says:

    Daisy, if it had been a normal relationship, it would have been between them and nobody the wiser. He may have realized the danger and dumped her.

    But he was a public figure. OK, so was she, but let’s face it, who knew of her outside Italy? His life was international. He went from being 100% private when he discovered in 2008 that Cats Working was following him to 100% open with EVERY other media outlet after that.

    So, as Asia continued to abuse him, he increasingly endorsed everything she was doing. And if they’d have broken up, he would have been the one on the hook to explain it. She’d have posted some totally bat-shit nonsense painting herself as a victim. Maybe she’d have tried Weinstein redux and claimed Tony raped her during the Rome shoot. She’s that sick, I believe.

    In the end, he couldn’t see his way out. He had Eric Ripert, his best, calmest friend RIGHT THERE and he didn’t reach out. He was so totally humiliated that he couldn’t face it anymore.

    We now know that it wasn’t drugs or alcohol. With all his faculties intact, and his daughter, best job in the world, and many income streams giving him more income than he ever imagined, Tony chose to end his own life rather than face another day with Asia Argento in it.

    Let her dance to “Stayin’ Alive” to THAT.

  189. Daisy says:

    Cats, I agree it was the humiliation that was the worst of it for him and drove him over the edge. I just wonder how in the world he ever allowed himself to get involved with her from the very beginning. You’re right, she isn’t well known outside of Italy and Europe but she was in films here and by that time Anthony was well travelled. If not, a quick check on the internet would give you plenty info about her and none of it any good. Look what we found just typing her name on Google. Pretty awful stuff. I know they say he was attracted to the danger and darkness she possessed. So, maybe that was the draw. I don’t know it’s all still puzzling to me.

  190. L Villeneuve says:

    I know people don’t want to wear their hearts on their sleeves(or IG or Twitter) but it seems AB’s friends, Ruhlman, Zimmern, Gotta, Ripert et all grieved for a day or so and now nothing?

  191. Randi says:

    Ripert must be especially shocked, seeing his friend hanging there. 😦 I think all of Tony’s close friends and family are simply being loyal and won’t tell what happened – if they even know. I can imagine Tony asking them not to reveal details, especially if it is was something he would be humiliated about. However, I have no doubt that AA was a major cause why he killed himself. I don’t think we’ll ever get the truth from her, though!

  192. catsworking says:

    LV, Zamir posted quite a few tweets for quite a while. Of all you mentioned, I’d say Zamir seemed the most publicly distraught.

    As for the others, they probably don’t want to upset the family and Tony’s fans any more than they already are. And they’re probably well aware that Asia is mentally unstable and don’t want her setting her sights on them.

    Once the shock and pain has worn off a bit, I think we’ll be hearing more from the people who knew him.

  193. catsworking says:

    Randi, now that we know there was no substance clouding Tony’s thought process, I’m finding it almost harder to bear knowing that he clearly and deliberately decided to die. Does that make sense?

    If he were in a drunken or drug-induced haze and did it, we could say, well, that was stupid, or, maybe it was an impulsive accident. But he DID know what he was doing.

    If I were AA, I’d be feeling very, very guilty right now. Just kidding. We know we’re never going to see “guilt” and her name in the same sentence when it comes to her behavior.

    I firmly believe AA will turn this tragedy into material she can monetize, using the excuse that she’s doing it to put food on the table. A book, maybe a movie. Whatever form it takes, you can rest assured there will be little truth in it and she will be the one on the receiving end of all the abuse.

  194. C T says:

    Narcissistic Personality Disorder: first comes the Love Bomb phase, then the devalue phase, followed by the discard. They are incapable of empathy, they only see you when you are reflecting their power over you back at them. Pathological liars, serial cheaters, they will never apologize or admit they are wrong. Gaslighting is another tool in their arsenal. They are attracted to empathic powerful people who they feel raise their profile. I went through a 3 year relationship with a NPD woman who I thought was my soulmate. I told her I would die for her and I almost did when it ended. Heartbreak is difficult in the best of cases, realizing you have been grifted and deep down you knew it all along is soul crushing. For me I wanted this love so bad I turned a blind eye to my own intuition.

    If I had to find out about this in a highly public way as Tony did, I can’t imagine how much more painful that would be…..I think Tony’s attraction was like heroin was, she was trouble and that appealed to his punk rock side. I keep reading in regards to the T shirt post that Anthony was the Sid Vicious of the culinary world and I don’t doubt that, but it strikes me that Tony though of Asia as a female Sid Vicious. Thinking you have found the love of your life and then in a heartbeat you are confronted in the most public of ways had to be devastating and could easily push someone over the edge.

    It took me years to get over my relationship, if it had been as public and high profile as Tony’s was I can understand his choice in the moment. Obviously I don’t condone it, but I am not surprised. I hope AB found the peace he deserved. If you want payback for Tony, then ignore AA. People with NPD feed off all attention positive and negative. AB left a great body of work as his legacy, don’t dwell too long on his death and try to celebrate his life. I remember about 6 years ago eating a Bahn mi at the same stand Tony did in his first Vietnam episode, every bite was a revelation and in that moment I understood more about the man and was thankful he was who he was.

  195. Daisy says:

    Cats, In the toxicology report it stated no narcotics where found in his system. I wasn’t sure if they include alcohol as a narcotic. If he were drinking that would have certainly affected his mood and judgement.

  196. catsworking says:

    Welcome, CT, and thank you for sharing your first-hand experience with NPD. You were lucky to come out of it in one piece, it sounds.

    I think you have a healthy attitude in focusing on the good things you remember, and you’re absolutely right about AA. I actually got some satisfaction in reading the NYT News Service story about the tox report yesterday. She was mentioned almost in passing at the very end, well on her way to becoming the small-print footnote to his life that few will ever bother to read.

  197. My sad conclusion and educated opinion (I have a ph.d. in clinical psychology) is this…Tony’s history of depression and suicidal ideation (multiple sources reveal this including great friends/fellow chefs) + a huge stab in the heart from his “soulmate” (Tony’s word) + absolute humiliation (he sung her praises for everyone to hear, defended her outright, probably sacrificed time with his daughter to see AA “as much as possible” (Tony’s words) and even fired Zach because of her) = Tony’s decision to Check Out. I have to say that I am no longer surprised or shocked by this outcome. But very, very sad. I adored Tony.

    There is one interview that I read (I’ve read everything I can get my hands on) that really gave me an “aha moment” into his overall psyche. From a Maxim, Aug 2107 interview he talked about his book “Hungry Ghosts” which will be published in Oct 2018. Tony says, “But I’m working on something: Hungry Ghosts—about these spirit houses in Asia Pacific, Thailand, Vietnam. They need to lure the hungry ghosts away from the main house, and I’m obsessed. I’m interested in these figures from folklore and history. In some way I feel a kinship with them—a wandering spirit, never satisfied.” In addition, there is a conversation he has with David Choe that DC posted on his IG account on June 14th (it’s the last image in that post). Here are DC’s words on that post: “Rest in peace and also fuck you – you are my hero and coward. I love you and hate what you did. you told me over a year ago that you were suffering from depression, and more recently you reached out to tell me you were in a good place and doing much better. But you were hiding your truth from me and yourself…” David Choe was featured in Parts Unknown Season One: Koreatown, Los Angeles. If you go to DC’s IG and watch the clip on June 14th, you’ll hear Tony in his own words how he recently had a “mini meltdown”.

  198. catsworking says:

    Daisy, I just did a new post where I put the conflicting results I’ve seen out there. One says no alcohol, one doesn’t mention it. Both statements were by the same man.

  199. catsworking says:

    Opus, I really appreciate your perspective, coming from a place of real knowledge. I agree with your assessment 100%. It was a perfect storm of influences that made it seem like the right thing to do at that moment.

    I’m a little confused about Hungry Ghosts. I thought that was a series of 3 comic books that have already been published to mixed reviews. I haven’t looked it up, but I’m guessing the publication date was Oct. 2017, not 2018. I haven’t seen any of those. Maybe somebody who knows something about them will chime in.

    Thanks for the lead on Tony’s self-admitted “mini meltdown.” I’ll have to check it out.

  200. You’re very welcome. I was looking at Anthony Bourdain’s Hungry Ghosts, Hardcover Edition on Amazon – publishing date is October 2, 2018. Be prepared when watching the clip of Tony – it’s heartbreaking.

  201. feijicha says:

    I went to David Choe’s IG and found his June 14 post (hate how IG makes it impossible to check the date on a post unless you click on the tile and then scroll to the bottom) but found no video clip. If anyone has better info please share.

  202. Hello feijicha, If you go to David Choe’s IG, you will see a post where Tony is sitting next to a portrait of himself that DC painted of him during the Parts Unknown episode (if you have Netflix, Season One is available). Click on that post. Now on that post you will see that there are multiple images (5) and you can click on the arrow at the far right of this photo to scroll through these. The last image contains the video clip. I hope this helps.

  203. Randi says:

    Karen, I agree it’s unbearable that he knew what he was doing. Had he been drunk, he may still had attempted it, and he might have fallen over in the bathtub and broke his neck, but he also might have broke an arm or a leg – I would much have preferred that. Anyway, he must have been really hurt by what AA did or said. 😦 We know he was a man with deep feelings and very sensitive. I wish he had taken time to reflect on things, and hopefully made the conclusion that AA was not good for him. Who knows, he might already have told AA to clear off and she wanted to take revenge. I don’t think she expected this, though, but she will be suffering for a long time to come because of her ignorance, or vicious character!

  204. feijicha says:

    ok disregard, I’m an idiot, I just needed to click the right-hand tab on the first image of his post. Here’s a link for others to David Choe’s post:

    Click the right-hand arrow on the first image and it goes to the next image which is a screenshot of a series of texts he had with Tony.

    It’s not entirely clear to me who the first column text is from (his other messages from Tony show as “from Bourdain” at the top, while the first one says “from Tony” at the top. He shows the date of the middle message as 5/15/18 but doesn’t show the dates of the other ones.

    The reason I’m curious to know if the first was indeed from Tony to him is because it says this (in part): “If you are damaged goods, don’t allow yourself to unravel in public for the entertainment of a bunch of fucking goofs who will be all too happy to watch. get fucking well. and fuck everybody else. They go over the side.”

    It’s not clear because of the way DC cut the top off whether this was Tony saying it to DC or if it was part of DC’s response to Tony. If it was written BY Tony, then it’s a very interesting insight into what might have been in his mind about everything and why he ended his life— maybe he felt the situation with AA being so public that his emotional upset about it would be grist for a lot of public comment and gawking and lookie-lous enjoying watching him fall apart. In short, public humiliation.

    If it was written by DC, then it reads more like him telling AB to take the time to do what he needs to do for himself and fuck everyone else, their opinions don’t matter.

  205. feijicha says:

    it appears you can actually just click the right-hand arrow on the image of Tony that shows on this page and it will advance to the image of the text message right here.

  206. Bamboo.skewer says:

    “Tony chose to end his own life rather than face another day with Asia Argento in it.”

    Oh ugh Karen you have a way with words and this brings it all to heart.

    Watching how things unfolded over the past few weeks, especially the last few days, I’ll reveal my cynical, skeptical side:

    Asia is getting the playbook for her next steps from us. We try to decrease her IF follower numbers. She simply buys followers. Yes you can do that. The average person does not scroll far back. She knows that. So now her feed and stories have the sad pics and pic of her and Tony, because we accused her of not being sad. Now she looks sad.

    She doesn’t quite understand though, because healthy people don’t literally post their sad face all over social media.

    What if we stop talking about her? Forget she exists? That black hole of non-recognition is death to a narcissist. Of course here I am still talking about her. 🙄

    Let Tony’s inside team do their due diligence and release any damning undeniable information they have, when they’re ready and they’re protected. Whenever that time is, the world will not have forgotten about Tony.

  207. Another significant variable that I forgot to add to the equation above is the fact that plans for his Bourdain Market in NYC fell through in Dec 2017. In an EATER New York article it says, “Bourdain first started talking about dreams of opening the market about five years ago and has been seeking sites since then.” This had to be a huge disappointment and frustration for him. Article can be found on, Dec 22, 2017.

  208. Morganlf says:

    The David Choe post is shattering.

    Not just what he wrote. When you tap on the pic scroll left to see the series of images.
    3 texts first two from Tony, the second one dated 5-15-18, gulp.
    The last David to Tony.

    After that two sketches. Fist one is aTony tying off with a spike in his arm looking down at a bed with a naked female that looks like AA, looking on. The next Tony squatting in the aftermath.

    David C is a deep depressive. Like Tony he hit big money after a dark weird life.

    He did a long interview with Howard Stern. Watch Koreatown definitely nihilistic. He and Tony, obvoisly got on famously.

    As close as Tony was to Eric it’s prettty clear he never showed that mask to him. Eric the Buddhist, would never have understood that blackness.

  209. Bamboo.skewer says:

    A comment on David Choe’s post says Tony’s drawings were from when he was still using. The woman cannot be Asia. Though maybe that was Tony’s “type” even awhile ago and Asia fit it.

  210. Mira says:

    In the provided video clip ( DC IG account) AB describes a ‘mini meltdown’ on a shoot some years ago. He describes some nihilistic delusions ( signs of apocalypse, feeling like he is dying, all indicative of an episode of depression with psychotic features) . This is something you cannot get over on your own, without medical help. Unfortunately, we often have this wish to just keep it under wraps, soldier on, and hope it goes away…for a person with that disposition, suffering a heartbreak, betrayal, would have been just too much to bear.
    No one’s fault, just incredibly sad set of circumstances.

  211. Lenora says:

    Was Tony considering his end back in May? Or was his death always in the back of his mind. Its so easy to read more into the May 15, 2018 text from Bourdain than may have been there at the time but he seemed to want the portrait as “something to leave behind”. However maybe Bourdain just wanted the painting and was embarrassed to flat out say he wanted it for himself.

    It is easy to see why they were friends. David is a real artist. No bullshit. Compare it to Asia’s IG who’s page could easily be mistaken for a try hard 15 year old Goth girl.

  212. ganjamastaakush says:

    Why am I unable to post on this blog?

  213. Randi says:

    I wonder which show Tony refers to in that video clip that David Choe posted on IG with the two guys in the street, where he says “I had a little mini melt down in the last shoot, actually (you talk a little too fast)…. followed by weird periods of everything is wrong, everything is a sign of apocalypse, this is definitely a symbol of all the shit in the world… you know, I was convinced I was dying – I mean it was bad!” And when the guys ask “how did you come out of it?” Tony says, “hugs” and laugh. Awww, how I would have loved to give him some hugs!
    I also wonder when DC drew that image where Tony is getting ready for a fix.

  214. catsworking says:

    Welcome, ganjamastaakush. This is the first comment of yours that I’m seeing, so it had to approved by me before it could appear. I’ve just approved it, so you should be able to make comments that appear instantly now.

  215. catsworking says:

    Opus, thanks for the lead on Hungry Ghosts becoming a hardcover. I skipped the comic books, but I will definitely buy the book. Marking my calendar now…

  216. catsworking says:

    Feijicha, thanks for the link. Just looked at it. I could be wrong, but the post you quoted doesn’t sound like Bourdain’s voice to me. I don’t think he’d refer to his fans as “fucking goofs,” even in private.

    I haven’t been in a supermarket this week, but have wondered if the National Enquirer is going to take this story and run with it. It certainly has the potential for lots of unflattering photos and lurid headlines.

  217. catsworking says:

    Bamboo, I agree with you about not feeding AA’s ego. Any attention is good attention to her. May she never get another gig on this side of the Atlantic.

  218. catsworking says:

    Opus, I don’t know how much the failure of Bourdain Market would have factored into this. It was a series of roadblocks from the start, and I’m sure Trump getting in greatly multiplied the problems of getting visas for the cooks he wanted to import. He may have decided to bide his time until 2020 when we get a friendlier and more inclusive administration. (Yes, that MUST happen!)

  219. catsworking says:

    Lenora, we don’t know if Tony ever bought the portrait of himself, but I think a week or so before his death, he bought a painting all in dark blue titled, “The world is falling down. I am learning to live with it.” Here’s an article that mentions it. I don’t know if there’s a pic of the painting in it, but I see a picture of his mother and a bunch of other bio.

    Since he talked and joked about suicide all through the years, it may have always been in the back of his mind as a possibility.

  220. My thinking on the Bourdain Market was that it was just another blow for Tony. A rational, mentally well person would take it in stride, but when you have a depressed mind, it feels like nothing is going right (as captured by the painting he bought from John Lurie that you mentioned – “The world is falling down. I am learning to live with it.” The painting can be seen on, June 8, 2018.

  221. DB says:

    Where did the “tragically absurd…” quote actually come from? A number of us have asked about this–and gotten ignored–at Bruce Elliott’s blog.

  222. catsworking says:

    Welcome, DB. I’m sorry, but you’ve got to give me more to go on. Where are you seeing “tragically absurd”? Who said it? I just did a search on my posts and came up blank. I don’t remember quoting it.

    I’ve read a ream since Bourdain died and the phrase is not coming to mind (although it seems apt, given the circumstances). If you can provide some context, maybe I or readers here can fill you in.

  223. Mira says:

    Hi, cats and DB, that ‘tragically absurd’ reference is from one of Bruce Elliot’s blogs on AA ( ‘To be Crushed in the Winepress of Passion’) and what she supposedly said about the affair with AB. Many commenters asked him about that supposed quote, but were not answered. I just assumed it was part of his gonzo style of journalism, or as I would refer to it – ‘poetic licence’.

    P.S. for some reason, I am not able to see any new comments beyond July 14th on your latest post, tried to clear the cache and everything, just curious, I am sure the comments are still coming in.

  224. catsworking says:

    Mira, don’t know if you will see this, but there’s no problem at this end. Don’t know why comments aren’t getting through to you.

    Thanks for providing the source of the “tragically absurd” statement. From what I’ve seen, Bruce Elliot is writing through the filter of his knowledge and interactions with Bourdain. I’m trying to cover the story from a more objective standpoint, with input from my reliable sources. When I state an opinion, I try to label it as such.

    If AA ever called her relationship with Tony “tragically absurd,” I’ve never seen it, and it would demonstrate a level of callous disregard for her “lover, rock, and protector” that would seem excessive, even for her. Although her repeated fall-backs on “Fuck you. You know who you are,” leaving us all to guess who she’s talking about like we all hang on her every insane word might belie that, they indicate what a passive-aggressive little no-balls-bully she truly is. Just like Trump. IMO.

  225. Mira says:

    Yep, got this reply, have no idea though, why I have not been able to see any updates on the newest posts.
    I’ll try and copy the relevant passage from Bruce’s blog, the one that one of your readers was curious about. (the ‘tragically absurd’ reference)

    This is from Bruce Elliot’s blog, “To be crushed in the winepress of passion”

    “It was if she was saying, “I cannot explain my love of contradiction to any one event, but it has haunted me my whole life. If I am called on to play the part of an ogress, I will embrace my character.” One minute Anthony is “One of the wisest, kindest, and superior men that ever lived,” and then a few days later, “Tony embellished his own amours considerably. His love for me never existed, or if it did was much exaggerated. Our relationship was a tragically absurd, satirical burlesque. It is hardly necessary for me to offer anyone an explanation for my actions, especially an explanation to his vulgar admirer’s, who are nothing more than a pack of idle dogs.””

    N.B. You can see that these are his words, his style, but the readers got confused and took it literally to be her quote. He even starts it by saying ‘it was if she was saying’….

  226. catsworking says:

    Mira, glad my last comment got to you, and thanks for the quote. Yes, I agree that Bruce was pretty clear in expressing this is an interpretation of AA’s slant on the situation. It’s not a direct quote from her, but what he believes she believes.

    I will go on the record here and now to say that any attempt by AA to spin the relationship this way is total bullshit. Yes, Tony’s obsession with AA was “tragically absurd,” but in his mind his absolute devotion was genuine. Why else would he pump his endorsements and money her way? He truly believed he had found a “soulmate.” AA was like a poor man’s Ottavia, but with the dark self-destructiveness he apparently craved, coupled with unlimited freedom to travel with him (because she was unemployed and doesn’t give two shits about raising her kids).

    Those clamoring for the source of the “quote” would seem to be AA enablers looking for a hook to discredit all of us who are disgusted by AA’s behavior. They’re the equivalent of the 20-30% base fringe in the U.S. who think Trump can do no wrong even as he showcases his ignorance for the world.

  227. Madeline says:

    @catsworking Sorry to bump an old thread, but I saw that you were confused about instagram stories. Instagram itself deletes those short videos after 24 hours, but that website ( has archived them.

  228. catsworking says:

    Welcome, Madeline. No problem at all with your bump. 🙂 I don’t use Instagram, although Cats Working does have an account just for access to it, so I’m unfamiliar with how it works. Any explanations are appreciated. Thanks!

  229. Madeline says:

    I also meant to include with my post that I scrolled through nearly all 200+ of these comments on this topic. It was a good way to put the little puzzle pieces together, and attempt to figure out AB’s mindset in those days/weeks before his death. I think that David Choe stating that AB told him he was suffering through depression is the first piece, then add in everything with Asia.

  230. catsworking says:

    Madeline, now that we have over a year of hindsight, with really no other factors coming to light, I tend to agree with you. He was clearly exhausted in the last season of Parts Unknown, and had talked about being depressed in the months leading up to his death, but said that he got over it.

    Personally, I think he invested SO much of himself in his relationship with AA that when he saw how she betrayed him in such a public and humiliating way — right on the heels of finished a shoot together in Florence, no less — it was the last straw. No, I take that back. Whatever was said between them after he saw the photos was the last straw. He just couldn’t take her anymore, and if it meant giving up his daughter, his work, everything he loved, to put himself beyond her reach — because he knew he would never be able to get her out of his life without dire consequences because she had the dirt about him paying off Jimmy Bennett to hold over him — so be it.

  231. Madeline says:

    @catsworking Ah, yes, the Jimmy Bennett thing would’ve also played a huge factor. That would’ve hurt supporting your girlfriend through the metoo movement, then learn that she had sexual relations with a minor.

  232. catsworking says:

    Madeline, we never found out who leaked the Jimmy Bennett story to The New York Times after Bourdain died, nor what the motivation was. But the longer AA had gone on as a hypocritical crusader in the #MeToo movement, with Bourdain obliged to praise and support her for it, the bigger the Bennett bomb would have grown while Bourdain lived because he was in the process of paying Bennett $10,000 a month until this month (?? doing the math on my fingers) until he’d paid the total agreed-upon $380K.

    So, had Bourdain not died, he would have been living with that secret every day, fearing it would come out and expose him and his girlfriend as supreme hypocrites after his many years of calling out the hypocrisy of others. It would have made a sham of his whole persona. I really do think the Bennett secret was what aged him so fast in the end.

    In his exhausted state, I really think that on top of her throwing his unwavering devotion back in his face, the Bennett thing broke him.

  233. Madeline Hack says:

    Yes, no doubt this secret (assuming this happened as reported) ate at him.

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