NYT Offers a Bit More Detail on Bourdain’s Death

By Karen

I’ve been keeping an eye out, and the New York Times just published an updated obituary with a quote from Anthony Bourdain’s mother, Gladys, who is as much in disbelief as the rest of us that her son was capable of killing himself.

The 10th paragraph is most telling. Gladys mentions that Eric Ripert told her Tony had been in “dark mood” the “past couple of days,” which would coincide with when the Daily Mail published pictures of Asia Argento tooling around Rome looking very chummy with what appeared to be an age-appropriate (to her) French reporter.

Tony was staying at the luxury Le Chambard hotel in Kayserberg, France, when he died.

French authorities are saying they are treating it as a suicide “at this stage.” I don’t know what other stages there could be. He’s gone and we’re all left asking why.

EXTRA: Just found this interview from January with The Guardian. The last paragraph adds a new layer of bizarre to this sad ending.

121 Responses to NYT Offers a Bit More Detail on Bourdain’s Death

  1. Suzette says:

    Still hard to believe. Thanks for update.

  2. Bob says:

    I tend to agree that his new relationship with Asia must have something to do with his suicide. He underneath his gruff exterior a very sensitive person. His breakup with Nancy almost killed him, or at least drove him to the point of not caring if he lived or died.

    I can’t honestly see any addiction issues alone doing this to him, well not alone anyway. Those photos of Asia are pretty damming and maybe he just couldn’t have his heart broken again? I’m going to have to do some research in my archives and see what I find in relation to his passing.

    What ever pushed him over the edge must have been massive though for him to leave Ariane fatherless. That’s just my two cents.

  3. Laura N. says:

    Honestly, I hope he was ill and decided he could no longer deal with the pain. Because I’ve run a whole scenario in my head about Ms. Argento’s actions being a trigger and it feels very plausible. I knew a lot about her pre-Anthony. And as soon as I saw that he was with her, I knew things would NOT end well for him, ok. Not with his sensitive soul. It would be another tragedy on top of his death if that young girl no longer has her dad because of Asia.

  4. Randi says:

    It still seems unreal that Tony is gone. 😦 I hope it wasn’t because of his girlfriend, but seeing the pictures from The Daily Mail, I wouldn’t be surprised. He surely got more information than any media on what was she was up to in Italy with that reporter. Either that, or serious health problems. In the last shows I saw him, he didn’t look that healthy. I also thought of what the astrologer said to him on the show in India.

    Tony has been through SO much in his life, he tried it all and still managed to come out on top. I really admired him for his perseverance. Ottavia had a good influence on him, he started training, stopped smoking and looked quite healthy for a long time. And his daughter had a huge impact on his change of lifestyle.

    He reminded me a lot of of my late husband… his sense of humor, his open mind to everything and everybody, his kindness and generosity to the less fortunate, his taste for music and film, and his adventurous travels to places off the beaten track, tasting all kinds of weird foods.

    I wonder if we will hear comments from Iggy and Nancy.

    We need more like Anthony Bourdain in this world, and less like Trump!

  5. Randi says:

    I just watched an interview on CNN with Andrew Zimmern talking about Tony, he was cut off in the middle of it – very rude!! What is it with CNN, having no time for other than commercials every ten minutes. Geesh!

  6. catsworking says:

    Randi, you said a mouthful!

  7. Morganlf says:

    Hugo Clement is 28 years old. Asia Argento is 42. She was openly canoodling him all over Rome, the exact city where she was photographed romancing Bourdain (while he was still married) 2 years ago.
    Hugo Clement was born in Strasbourg France.

    Anthony Bourdain committed suicice in Strasbourg France.

    Anthony always had a sense of irony.

  8. Laura N. says:

    Morganlf, WOW. I can imagine him googling that guy once he found out. Maybe AB decided if he was going to do it he might as well ruin every hometown experience for ol’Hugo.

  9. Laura N. says:


  10. Laura N. says:

    From the NYT piece linked in the tweets I just posted:

    “This leads us to suspect that not much preparation and premeditation went into the act, and leads us more in the direction of an impulsive act,” said Mr. de Rocquigny.

    SMH. Asia.

  11. catsworking says:

    OMG Morgan. WTF??!! The layers just keep peeling back on this story. Unfortunately, when all is said and done, we will still be without Bourdain. I think I’m beginning to hate that woman.

  12. catsworking says:

    Laura, I’m drawing a blank on SMH, but all signs are pointing me to Asia, the “beyond devastated.”

    Thank you for the new pieces. We may never have the definitive answer, but if we can reconstruct enough to come up with a plausible rationale for this totally insane act, I’ll learn to live with it.

  13. Randi says:

    SMH apparently means “shaking my head.”
    If Tony did write a note to Asia, I’m sure we will never know what it said, but we can guess. I can certainly see Tony thinking like Morgan and Laura described.
    I wish someone had checked on Tony Thursday night, but I don’t blame Eric for not disturbing his friend – how could he suspect anything.
    So very sad. 😦

  14. Morganlf says:

    SMH shaking my head.
    Just read through Ottavias Instagram feed to the beginning 2012. Nearly Every AB reference was to my hot or sexy husband. There are Pics with friends, like Eric, Big gay Ice Cream, dinners, Halloween Costumes and a touching one of Tony tearing up at daughters recital and many of them working out. White her recent feed is pure BJJ up until 2016 it was mix and a lot of her and Tony including one in South Beach when they first met in a romantic kiss in a club, he was still wearing an earring she posted it I think on their anniversary and captioned it # still together.

    There is nothing that indicates they had for many years lived separate lives. That is until Miss Piggy Argento happened along.

    According to the NYT, Ottavia & Tony are still married, I hope so. I hope that gross, headline seeking liar Argento doesn’t get a penny.

    an ugly chain smoking troll who never made it in the US even though she dated Weinstein for 5 years. Even he couldn’t ger her American career off the ground, Sophia Loren she ain’t.

    Asia isolated him and kept him from his child. I read he had taken to keeping fruit loops in the kitchen for when her kids visit..what???

    In short, she fucked him up.

  15. catsworking says:

    Shaking My Head, or SMH. Learn a new one every day.

    I think it would be a stretch to imagine that Bourdain would have left anything to Argento except maybe some leftover tat ink. He would have provided for Ariane and Ottavia because that’s how he was.

    I really hate referring to him in past tense.

    I don’t think the timing works for Argento to be a homewrecker, though. I don’t think he met her until he and Ottavia announced their split. Didn’t he do the Rome episode in late 2016?

    But I’m very glad to hear that they hadn’t finalized the divorce. He did the same thing with Nancy. Left that bridge open until he decided to marry Ottavia.

  16. Randi says:

    I too hope that Ottavia & Tony are still married, but if not, at least Ariane will inherit. As far as I have heard, they were still friends.
    The pictures I saw of Asia and the comments she made about the “rape” tells it all. Amazing that Tony supported her in that.
    Also, I can’t help wonder whether he tried to ring her Thursday night, while she was with that reporter, but I imagine his phone will be checked.

  17. Dana says:

    RE Anthony and Ottavia living separate lives:

    I thought it strange when a few years ago Tony posted this for Ottavia’s birthday in 2015: https://www.instagram.com/p/2Be8D6MIVU/?taken-by=anthonybourdain

    when it was the exact same photo that he’d posted for her birthday in 2014: https://www.instagram.com/p/nVaxArsIeo/?hl=en&taken-by=anthonybourdain

    At the time I thought it odd that he didn’t have a more recent photo to post. Kinda leads me to think that they may have quietly gone their separate ways as early as late 2014/early 2015?

    The filming of the Rome episode took place in April 2016 (see Todd Liebler’s post from April 30, 2016 here: https://www.instagram.com/p/BE149vTMSiN/?hl=en&taken-by=toddliebler ), so Tony and Asia were in each other’s orbits at that point. My assumption that there wasn’t really a reason to announce the split until Tony really fell in with Asia and would be seen in public together.

    I hope you’re holding up ok today, Karen. I’ve been in a complete fog. My heart aches for everyone involved, especially Tony. Although I can’t help but think that this is in line with the ‘tortured artist’ thing he always seemed to want to be…it still hurts. 😦

  18. catsworking says:

    Dana, thank you so much for all this new info. I am visiting relatives at the moment and can’t follow the links, but I will and will check in as soon as I do. This seems to take a more sinister turn.

  19. Morganlf says:

    Rome aired 12/16 which means it was filmed months earlier. They split 9/16. Asia was the reason.

    In 2/17 newspapers published pics of them all over Rome kissing, etc. 5/17/he posts first pic of him and Asia clearly cuddling on the grass, seems pretty straight forward to me.

    His postings grew ever more cloying calling her a joy , inspiration. Commenting on her mother’s day pic of her & 2 kids..he gushes how he loves the pic best mother ever and how great the kids are..not a word about his daughters mother. Nor did he ever post such treacle about Ottavia.

    Every post Asia liked Ottavia stayed silent. I blasted him when he posted pic of Asia & her dad captioning it “ happy birthday master” I told him to stop fettishizing a 3 rate director & his damaged daughter. When Asia captioned a shot with tony & another couple #fam ..I posted where’s Ariane?

    Asia is being roasted and trolled on Instagram. Many believe she was the reason he hung himself. Comments range from opportunistic sociopath to sack of lying shit. TMZ comments on fire calling her a gold digger, one post said thinking of sending her a robe, others accuse her of being bored selfish.
    It seems the world has her number.

    Does she show for the funeral?

  20. Morganlf says:

    funeral..sob.. oh Tony..

  21. Morganlf says:

    On 4/9/16 it seems likeOttavia was clueless..referring to pride in her husband.

  22. catsworking says:

    OMG you guys, you are giving me an ulcer. The dates don’t lie. I wasn’t paying much attention to him at the time frame you’re recreating, but it certainly appears that Asia WAS a problem. Maybe he and Ottavia had drifted apart and he took up MMA to rekindle the spark, but becoming smitten with another woman would have put a stake in that effort. I am stunned beyond words.

    As for Asia, I never liked her and never thought she was good for him. I particularly don’t like her absentee style of parenting while she’s sleeping around.

    You guys are AMAZING for putting all this together. I think we are getting to the truth of this mess. It’s the least we can do for Tony.

  23. Laura N. says:

    Yikes! I hadn’t watched the Rome episode until it hit Netflix and while watching it, it hadn’t even occurred to me that they weren’t a public couple when they shot the episode. I didn’t really keep up with Anthony and Ottavia so I didn’t even know they were still married when the Rome episode was filmed. Watching it, he was already quite enamored with Asia and familiar her kids. It was obvious that she was more than just some random woman vetted by his producers or an acquaintance he asked to be on the show.

    I feel really bad that Ottavia had to go through that.

  24. catsworking says:

    I started getting suspicious in the boxing match scene. She seemed tentative about how chummy she should appear. But when he ate at her house with her kids and it all seemed so routine, I thought, “OK, they’re a thing,” and thought about Ariane dining alone.

    On “No Reservations” he went to Rome and Ottavia appeared. I think she had a cold and felt miserable. But that’s my favorite because it had a “Roman Holiday” vibe (as opposed to fascist Mussolini) and they were still in love.

    I stand by my contention that Ottavia was the best thing that ever happened to him. Asia may have been the worst.

  25. hana says:

    I can’t believe people are actually blaming a woman he was dating for his suicide. Anthony was a grown (old) man who frequented brothels in his day. if he was such a sensitive soul where was this sensitivity when it came to the women in his life over the years that he cheated on and left bereft? Now when people think a woman cheated on him, if that was going on, which is entirely speculation, he’s such a poor gentle sensitive soul who just wasn’t cut out for such a heartless vixen. Blaming someone’s suicide on a person is the lowest rung of behavior imaginable and entirely hypocritical. The kind of internet cruelty and bullying itself cited as a cause behind suicide ideation.

  26. Morganlf says:

    I do not believe this was random demons.

    I do believe this was precipitated by a pervasive, slow malignant tear in his heart.

    Cherchez la femme.

  27. Bacardi1/Bonnie C. says:

    While I would LOVE to believe that this will haunt & damage Asia for the rest of her life, it’s frequently the very unfortunate fact that people like that have no conscience whatsoever. I’m sure she believes her selfish actions had nothing to do with what happened; that whatever caused him to do what he did was his problem alone.

    If her actions were what precipitated this, the most we can probably hope for is that she’s shunned & persecuted for it in ways that hit home for her. I’m not normally someone who wishes ill on anyone, but this time I simply can’t help it.

  28. twilit says:

    I can’t believe people are actually blaming a woman he was dating for his suicide. Anthony was a grown (old) man who made his choices in life which included hiring prostitutes hard drugs and self destructive behavior. if he was such a sensitive soul where was this sensitivity when it came to the women in his life over the years that he cheated on and left – not the least of which being his own young daughter he left in the most final way possible? Now that it’s speculated a woman did to him what he’s done to many there’s a lynch mob blaming his actions on her. Sick.

  29. catsworking says:

    Feijicha, thanks very much for that link to the Daily Mail. They gathered a lot of information on what he was doing with the filming of the episode. I’m wondering what CNN will decide to do with that footage, if there’s enough to turn it into a tribute episode or something.

  30. catsworking says:

    Welcome, hana. I feel like you may have been here before, perhaps under a different name.

    Totally agree with you that that are at least two sides to every story, and Bourdain was no saint. But when he was committed to something or someone, I do believe it put everything into it.

    I don’t think Asia was solely responsible. I do think he had longstanding dark thoughts, insecurities and self-esteem issues. He wrote about them. Unfortunately, whenever he felt that he and Ottavia had disengaged and he started looking for a new soulmate, he found Asia and was doomed to repeat history. By all indications, he thought they were solid (unless there were problems after she filmed the Hong Kong episode in January that we don’t know about), so seeing her cavorting around Rome with a man 34 years Bourdain’s junior must have hurt, was probably just more snow added to a snowball that was already rolling down the hill.

  31. catsworking says:

    As someone who has had several long-term relationships with men much older than me, and hearing them talk about their insecurities and feelings of inadequacy in being able to “make me happy” long-term, I suspect Bourdain wrestled with similar issues with Ottavia and Asia.

    Like most men, he was drawn to hot younger women after he split with age-appropriate Nancy (who was actually a year or so older than him). And given his fame, it was good to have the attractive arm candy. But Ottavia ended up spending all her waking hours in the company of fit young guys, whom Bourdain tried to emulate by taking up MMA himself ridiculously in his late 50s. And then Asia made the mistake of letting herself get caught on film being very chummy with a much younger guy (even for her).

    Bourdain’s image was to be timeless, always the traveler, reveler, stud. But he knew the truth. He may have decided he couldn’t continue the charade and the people in his life would be better off without him. He was 100% wrong, but he’ll never know.

  32. L.Villeneuve says:

    Does anyone know anything about a funeral?

  33. feijicha says:

    When someone commits suicide it’s common for those left behind to seek out some external trigger that led the person to take their own life. Sadly, however, suicide is not caused by any external events, but rather by some internal trigger that we may never know. In other words, it is *not* the external events that occurred in the person’s life, rather it is that person’s response or reaction TO those events that leads them to decide suicide is the best action to take. Whatever event or events were happening in the person’s life at the time may have been, they likely have faced those events in the past without committing suicide, and many other people have faced those same events without killing themselves as well. There is just some unfortunate combination of outside events and internal state of the individual that create a toxic response where the only perceived solution is suicide.

    So those saying it’s not accurate to blame Asia for Tony’s death are indeed correct. You can’t blame her for him killing himself, unless in one of their last communications she knew he was vulnerable and actually said to him “then go kill yourself” or some such. That being said, people can rightfully be angry, disgusted, or whatever, with her behavior towards him in the last days of his life. If she knew how much he loved her (how could she not?), if she knew he was vulnerable, if she knew that he thought of this as maybe his last, great relationship and if she knew she didn’t feel the same way, (I personally think maybe she loved him but thought of this as just another relationship in her ongoing romantic journey through life) and if knowing this she was deliberately nasty or cruel to him (she made an Instagram post that said “F*** everyone, and you know who you are” just hours before his death was announced) then she deserves, in my opinion, scorn for her behavior because it’s just douchey behavior whether he killed himself because of it or not.

    She had every right to break up with him if she felt that’s what was best for her; we can’t blame a woman if a man chooses to kill himself after she dumps him, because if we make men’s behavior women’s fault, then you’re on a slippery slope that if a man comes and burns down your house (or some other act of abusive violence) you open the door to say “well he was upset she dumped him so it’s her fault”. Everyone is responsible for their own behavior and everyone has the right to leave a relationship regardless of whether their partner wants that or not. HOWEVER, behaving badly towards someone who doesn’t appear to deserve it is shameful behavior and she can and should be held accountable for her own behavior.

    Was he too needy for her? Seems like maybe so. Not sure we’ll ever know. One newspaper (think the Daily Mail, I will check) had pics of her leaving her (?) house in dark sunglasses accompanied by her mother, her sister, and her daughter. I did wonder if there would be any kind of memorial service or something and if she would be invited. If Ottavia is still his wife then one would assume she would be in charge of that, and his family is still around also. Reading in one of the articles where the officials talked about his body being in custody in the nearest city of Colma? Colman? and awaiting family to come take custody of it just hit me like a brick with the real finality of all this.

    No, Asia didn’t kill him, he killed himself, and yes she has the right to live her life how she sees fit, but actions have consequences and words can wound, and it feels like from what we know at this point she would benefit from some long, hard soul-searching.

  34. leeduigon says:

    So glad I came back here. Somehow we always find out the truth here. I had a feeling there was more to this than was said before. Thanks for sharing.

  35. catsworking says:

    I have not seen anything about a funeral, but read today that the French are satisfied that it was suicide and area releasing his body so his family can bring him home. I assume Eric Ripert is still there with him.

  36. catsworking says:

    feijicha, thank you for this comment. Somehow, it makes me feel a little better. I’m walking around here today like a dishrag. I think I’ve gone from shock to grief. Haven’t had the heart to turn on CNN, but have been looking for developments online.

  37. TxLil says:

    This is not something I ever thought I would be doing — commenting on the suicide of Anthony Bourdain. Seems so bizarre.

    Please allow me to say how powerful are the voices of anxiety and depression, especially together. Those voices will convince a person that, no matter how accomplished that person may be, nothing they have ever done matters. That the world will be a better place without them, that nothing will ever get better, that they are an irredeemable person, that they don’t deserve to take up space on this planet. Those voices will twist a person’s thinking and make them believe things are a way that they aren’t– that friends don’t really care, that loved ones don’t really love them, that there is no help. If anyone reading this is having those same type of thoughts, PLEASE reach out to someone. Those voices LIE.

    Obviously I don’t know this is what was going on with Chef Bourdain, but it is apparent he was hurting and unwell. I hope his family & friends can find a way to heal.

    Thank you Chef, for taking me places I wouldn’t have been able to go otherwise and broadening my view of the world.

  38. catsworking says:

    Welcome, TxLil, and thank you for your description of the voices. I’m sure that something like those thoughts were going through Bourdain’s mind. Some people accused him of being a pompous ass, but I spent a little time with him in person and he was shy, humble, always friendly. I do think he couldn’t fully comprehend how incredibly successful he became and would be shocked by the worldwide outpouring of dismay over this death.

    For some years, he and Ottavia had been renting a house in the Hamptons for the whole month of August (his one long rest for the year), even after they split, I believe. The Riperts would go as well. I can’t help thinking what a sad and quiet summer this is going to be for them all, especially Ariane.

  39. feijicha says:

    I haven’t been able to watch anything with him in it at all. CNN did a whole night of his shows in tribute and I could.not.watch. Padma had some lovely things to say about him (in People, I think) about how they bonded over their daughters, how he’d pick up her baby and say “Give me that baby, I need some new baby smell!” She called him a “baby whisperer” and said he was a devil and funny and generous.

  40. catsworking says:

    feijicha, I set the DVR but haven’t had the heart to watch anything either. Tonight they are airing the Berlin episode as scheduled, and I think Anderson Cooper is going to give it an introduction. It’s going to be heartbreaking.

  41. Morganlf says:

    I have been watching CNN, they loved him and there have been heart wrenching tributes.

    Suicide ideation after a breakup is not new for Tony. Felicha is right he was too needy for her. She played him. Used him to get her name in the papers.
    As it happens her “carreer “ has taken off. She just landed a tv gig in Italy. Just like she used Weinstein to get her name in the papers. He raped her? oh please she-dated him for 5 years, he paid her bills…but man she hopped on the me too train right quick! Not saying HW isn’t a beast he is, but she dilutes the movement with her pathetic stories. He went down on me waah, paid my nanny, rent and trips and forced me to meet his mother waah..

    The guy was married with little kids but she’s not culpable? Opportunistic trash. Tony was her new mark. Read the comments on line We’re not the only ones who smell something rotten.

    View this post on Instagram

    Just a perfect day You made me forget myself @asiaargento

    A post shared by anthonybourdain (@anthonybourdain) on

  42. Laura N. says:


    I totally agree. Tony thought he’d actually found the love of his life but he was just another mark in her eyes. He was the second man she played when it came to Harvey Weinstein. Her ex-boyfriend, Vincent Gallo, a horrible human being in his own right, spoke to this as well. He talked about how she’d made all these devastating claims to him about what Harvey supposedly did to her in an attempt to rile him up and have him take on Harvey. His career suffered greatly for it and after he put his career on the line to fight Harvey for her, she went right back to dating her supposed rapist. She’s a manipulative and dark person. And just like Vincent, Anthony became wrapped up in her mess with Harvey. For the 6 months of his life, his twitter feed was almost exclusively dedicated to fighting Harvey Weinstein and retweeting Asia and Rose McGowan’s rants and allegations against people and the public was not really cool with him doing that. It was really the first time I’d heard random people criticizing Tony.

  43. Mystified says:

    Extremely saddened and in a fog over Tony’s passing. I happened upon this treasure trove while actually searching “Anthony Bourdain tattooes”. (Any hope. thinking I could drum up some ideas to hold onto him just a bit more with a bodily marking). Thank you, Karen for your site! Thank you, also, to the “regulars”, Morgan, Laura, Nancy for the added contributions as I’ve read along, and apologies for those I’ve not mentioned. I actually picked up reading in the midst of 2008-13 posts late last night and as I restrained from jumping ahead, I thought, with a lump in my throat, is this group still here after what’s happened? Thankfully, you are. I feel deeply for Ariane and Ottavia.

  44. catsworking says:

    Morgan, no matter how you slice and dice it, Asia doesn’t come off too well. He was smitten; she obviously wasn’t as much. I’d have felt a smidge of sympathy if not for the photo spread of her with Hugo. She must have known someone was taking pictures. What was her point? To rub Tony’s nose in it?

    And then what with the Fuck Everyone T-shirt? Was that meant for him? If so, it came too late. He was probably already gone.

  45. catsworking says:

    Laura, I didn’t know any of this. Holy crap! I’ve never been too curious about Asia. But as the pieces on her fall into place, it sounds worse and worse.

    I don’t think it would be a good idea for her and Ottavia to ever be in the same room together (Asia wouldn’t stand a chance). I can’t imagine Asia showing her face at his funeral after the Hugo spread.

    I was glad Bourdain supported the #MeToo movement because it needs a male champion. It was unfortunate that he was flanked by 2 women who have been acting like she-devils out to bring down any man who crosses their path. They cheapen the case for other women.

  46. Mystified says:

    Karen, you are so admirably diplomatic in receiving opinions. I’m not as such and on the subject of asia argento, it just seems like uncanny timing. Certainly, suicide is a singular act, although there’s always that trigger that I cannot help wanting to blame and as for this moment I feel to blame asia. The timing and circumstances seem to add up. Also, that dreaded Rome episode; I saw the closeness and familiarity that caused me to cock my head and raise my eyebrows and then the news 4-5,6 months later that they were an item just confirmed those instincts. Thank you, Dana, for that timeline also. It made me feel like I wasn’t on an island thinking these things back then.

  47. Bacardi1/Bonnie C. says:

    She’s just juvenile & entitled-feeling enough to not only not give a damn, but also to not have even remotely imagined the backlash she’d get from those Rome photos. I’d also not be surprised to think that she originally expected to milk her “sorrow” for his death for all it was worth, & now she’s not going to get to. Far too many people know far too much about her now.

  48. catsworking says:

    Welcome, Mystified. The tattoo I would suggest is the one he used as a logo of a little knife dripping blood. He and Ottavia both got it. I think the image may appear in the logo of his Ecco book imprint. The cookbook Appetites undoubtedly has it somewhere. He drew it in one of the books he autographed for me.

    Yes, we are all still here it seems. I stopped writing about Bourdain when he got big and I didn’t feel I could add much to the conversation. But I was one of the first bloggers to cover him regularly. My biggest scoop was finding his first wife Nancy, for whom there was a lot of curiosity and sort of put this blog on the map.

    Now that he’s gone, Cats Working is going to stand as the historical record of his early fame and personal life (which he hated me writing about, BTW).

    I met him four times and it’s all in here somewhere, as well as accounts of Morgan and possibly others’ encounters with him.

  49. Laura N. says:

    The photos with Hugo in Rome and the “F*%k everyone, you know who you are” are the reason I can’t see her as innocent. Those things were cruel and if viewers knew he could become depressed easily then she surely knew. No, she didn’t put the belt around his neck. But I can’t say her cruelty didn’t help steer him to a dark place and pushed him to start thinking about doing something he’s
    probably thought about doing several times over the years.


    I don’t know if Tony saw that instagram post. He could have died Thursday afternoon before she posted that or he could have been alive in his room, reeling over their breakup. But if he did see it, she had better brace herself for the backlash. If it turns out that he was indeed alive up until Friday morning, that’s going to be very bad for her.

  50. Laura N. says:

    Also, I want to say it says a LOT about her character that she would date men like Harvey Weinstein and Vincent Gallo. She’d totally date Trump or Putin if she could. I was shocked to see her with a decent person like Tony and knew nothing good would come of it for him. I didn’t think he’d end up killing himself, but i definitely thought she’d leave him financially ruined, depressed, and isolated from his loved ones.

  51. catsworking says:

    Mystified, thank you. In “real life” I don’t think you’d hear a lot of people using my name and “tactful” in the same sentence. I’m pretty outspoken. But here, I will entertain any point of view unless it’s just bat-shit crazy. I once had a commenter write that she hoped I die and my cats eat my eyeballs or something along that line.

    Yes, I agree with you that the timing of Asia and Tony’s behavior is a perfect storm. In the Rome episode, the scene that tipped me off was the boxing match. She was decidedly unsure of herself as to how business-like to keep it. And just now I’m learning that they filmed it before he announced the split with Ottavia, so I’m thinking a little less of Asia. Their whole romance looks like it started with an affair with an older married man. Hmmm… who does that remind me of? Oh, I know! Weinstein!

    But, if Tony and Ottavia were really kaput at that point, they did the right thing to announce the separation so he could run around with Asia unfettered.

    My thoughts are with Ottavia right now. Tony was off doing his thing and she was getting on with her life, and then BAM! She’s a widow planning his funeral and ends up with the whole sorry mess in her lap. I’m sure the Riperts will be her support system. They introduced her to Tony and they shared a lot of good times together.

  52. catsworking says:

    Laura, I agree with you totally. It doesn’t seem the French did a very thorough job of investigating. All I’ve seen so far is no signs of violence on his body and they’ve taken blood and urine samples. No word on possible time of death or cause (although I’d assume it was strangulation). Well, the tox test could contribute to cause if he had drugs in his system.

    I do think he could have died on Thursday, which makes me even sadder that it took so long to find him.

    Asia’s inexplicable behavior during the week does point to a real cruel streak, between the flirty pics and the vulgar T-shirt. But why? She will never be accused of being a class act. And she obviously wasn’t familiar with Tony’s autobiographical writings or she’d have known there was a marshmallow center to him.

    He has definitely talked and written about suicide a lot over the years. He’s said he’d have done it long ago if not for Ariane. Tragically, in the end, even his daughter wasn’t enough to keep him going.

    I’m taping the Berlin episode tonight, but I can’t bring myself to watch it yet. I need to get this pain down to a dull ache first. I’ll feel better when he’s back in the U.S. and there can be some celebration of his life as closure.

  53. catsworking says:

    LAURA!! You know WAY more about Asia than I ever want to. So you think she’s that much of an opportunist? Wow. Just wow.

    I’ve noticed that she always seems to have a sly, shifty look in her eye. And I was watching a little clip of everybody drinking and dancing after they wrapped the Hong Kong episode, and Asia was dancing with Christopher Doyle (probably old enough to be her grandfather). He was keeping it pretty clean with his hands and body language, but she was slinking around him and trying to get her tits on him in a way I wouldn’t have appreciated, had I been Tony.

    Oh, well, she’s 42. Her day is coming when she turns into a dumpy little Italian woman lugging those tits around in a wheelbarrow. (I speak from experience.) She’s using the bod for all it’s worth while she can, I guess.

  54. Mystified says:

    I have in my queue, my saved up episodes of Parts Unknown that I’ve been savoring; much re-runs that I love to re watch; and new stuff yet unseen. I cannot bring myself to watch these yet – even listen to the intro song to parts unknown to watch another episode at the moment. I’ve compiled, over the years a list of “Bourdainisms” (what I consider things that he’s said that have stuck and made me belly laugh-which was often) in a journal because he made this depressed soul laugh and ponder and just simply relate as he traveled the world.

  55. Laura N. says:

    I used to read a lot of celebrity gossip blogs and stuff, so I knew about how shady she was. She’s a barely b-list actress in the European market and she’s basically z-list here in the states. The only reason she got any kind of work in Hollywood is because she was Harvey’s mistress/”special friend” over the years. Latching onto Anthony and then hopping onto the Me Too movement is literally the most mainstream press she’s ever gotten. When she said in her statement that Anthony was her “protector”, I rolled my eyes. She’s a vulture who plays the damsel in distress to get what she wants and then she moves on. She used Weinstein as a “protector” to fight big bad Hollywood for her so she could get work. She used Vincent Gallo as her “protector” to fight Weinstein for her and then went right back to Weinsten after Gallo pretty much lost everything. And then she used Anthony as her “protector” against Weinstein, the Hollywood establishment, and everyone who had enough sense to realize she wasn’t a real victim. His twitter feed was almost exclusively dedicated to lamenting about how poor Asia was such a victim and how brave she was to speak up and shame on everyone for questioning her story and doubting her and blah, blah, blah. And now she’s latched onto this young Hugo fellow, who “protected” her by posting her Cannes speech when everyone else supposedly shunned her.

    I know I’m going on and on but it ticks me off because she was sooo obviously bad news. But she was way younger than him, Italian, and a badass girl. And that’s probably all he could see right up until the very end.

  56. catsworking says:

    Mystified, I envy you your book of Bourdainisms. That’s something you might actually be able to publish now.

    Eater has been doing a running blog on the 10 best things Tony said on every episode for some time, and I kicked myself for not thinking of it first.

    I have every episode of A Cook’s Tour, all but two or three episodes of No Reservations, and a DVR with a bunch of Parts Unknown. Like you, I can’t bear to watch any of it right now. But I know there will be nights and weekends of binging and remembering Anthony Bourdain.

    I hope he left some manuscripts behind so possibly Ecco can compile one more book from him before they retire his imprint. It’s set to go away after they publish all the books currently under contract, including the one Jose Andres wrote about feeding Puerto Rico Hurricane Maria. (BTW, the tweet Andres wrote about Tony was achingly poetic. That man has a gift for writing.)

  57. Laura N. says:

    I used to read a lot of celebrity gossip blogs and stuff, so I knew about how shady she was. She’s a barely b-list actress in the European market and she’s basically z-list here in the states. The only reason she got any kind of work in Hollywood is because she was Harvey’s mistress/”special friend” over the years. Latching onto Anthony and then hopping onto the Me Too movement is literally the most mainstream press she’s ever gotten. When she said in her statement that Anthony was her “protector”, I rolled my eyes. She’s a vulture who plays the damsel in distress to get what she wants and then she moves on. She used Weinstein as a “protector” to fight big bad Hollywood for her so she could get work. She used Vincent Gallo as her “protector” to fight Weinstein for her and then went right back to Weinsten after Gallo pretty much lost everything. And then she used Anthony as her “protector” against Weinstein, the Hollywood establishment, and everyone who had enough sense to realize she wasn’t a real victim. His twitter feed was almost exclusively dedicated to lamenting about how poor Asia was such a victim and how brave she was to speak up and shame on everyone for questioning her story and doubting her and blah, blah, blah. And now she’s latched onto this young Hugo fellow, who “protected” her by posting her Cannes speech when everyone else supposedly shunned her.

    I know I’m going on and on but it ticks me off because she was sooo obviously bad news. But she was 20 years younger than him, Italian, and a badass type of girl. And that’s probably all he could see right up until the very end.

  58. Morganlf says:

    Do you know Vincent Gallo? Because you have his number. He’s a douche. He did give an interview renouncing Argento and stated he went against Weinstein only to have her resume a “personal relationship” with him. He stated it ruined his “career” ha. A broad term for a right wing D lister.
    I find Argento coarse without the wit and humanity of Bourdain only the cynicism. Her child raising skills are in question and her empathy for Tony’s family, absent.

    Notice she’s the only one who made a public statement, milking it much? We’ve Not heard from either wife or his brother Chris. Miss MEE TOO got a statement out tout suite. His mom gave a statement to People Mag , but Argento went on social media to declare her devastation within hours. Gee guess she was so overcome….

    When she posted the lyrics of “stand by your man” along side a picture of her and Tony attending an event early on in therelationship(when that same picture included Ottavia months earlier) prompted me to respond “ especially when he’s someone else’s husband”.
    Dark, damaged, grasping low. Look how she desecrated her body. That says a lot.

    If she dares attend the funeral… I don’t know. But I bet she will, her crass need of attention knows no bounds.

    I am watching Berlin on CNN now. God help me I’m sad he won’t be here any more.

  59. catsworking says:

    Morgan, I hope for everyone’s sake that Asia remains in Italy and lets the Bourdain family grieve without the strident circus she would bring.

    But I have no doubt Asia will continue to milk every last drop of sympathy for herself out of the relationship. I will be happy to resume never having heard of her once the media circus around Tony dissipates. Let her remain a notoriety in Italy. Big fish, small pond. Maybe she can get a gig as a Bunga Bunga Girl to Berlusconi if he makes a comeback, although at her age it might be a tad pathetic. He likes them younger.

    Bottom line on Asia is — during the week Tony decided to end his life, she chose to be seen tooling around Rome looking intimate with a much younger man than either of them, and then posted a “Fuck Everyone” message. The behavior of a devoted girlfriend? Not even the behavior of a friend.

  60. Laura N. says:

    I think she’ll attend the funeral. And like the narcissist she is, she’ll pull some kind of stunt to draw attention to herself.

    Did she ever meet Ariane? Maybe I overlooked them, but I haven’t seen pictures of them together. We’ve seen Tony with her kids in the Rome episode, at least. Was she integrated into his life at all? Do the Riperts know her? Are there any family holiday pictures? Did his mother and brother meet her? The relationship just seemed so odd to me. Like, what was going on. Asia is the “love of my life” yet two years on and it still seemed like some secret weekend lovers type of thing.

  61. iwonder says:

    There is a lovely photo of Tony and Ottavia on his instagram – very happy, celebrating Christmas 2015.
    He started collaborating with Asia to plan the Rome episode way in advance of the shoot that was in August 2016. She first liked a photo of his on Instagram on 16 January 2016, so they had definitely been in contact by then. Shoot was in August, then the separation from Ottavia announced in September 2016, saying that they had been living apart for a long time. He and Asia then came out as a couple with some staged paparazzi shots on 9 February 2017 and it’s spun that they met after he and Ottavia were already estranged, which is clearly not the case.

  62. Morganlf says:

    Spot on wonder.

  63. Laura N. says:

    I think the shoot for the Rome episode was in April ’16 and it aired in August.

  64. Morganlf says:

    Aired December 2016. And iwonder is right, the preparation has to start months before the shoot.
    Whichever dates pan out iwonder is correct, spinning it as they met “post break up” with Ottavia is manufactured. They broke off because of Argento.

  65. iwonder says:

    I would think that if he moved on from his marriage with the mother of his child for someone that let him down and betrayed him, the heartbreak would have been terrible.

  66. Laura N. says:

    Ah, ok.

  67. iwonder says:

    Andrew Zimmern, the television personality and chef, had much in common with Mr. Bourdain. The two met 13 years ago and were friends who often spoke of the pressures that come with fame and who both worked to overcome addiction.

    “We shared a very, very deep feeling of wanting to get off this crazy roller coaster, but at the same time knowing that this was our work,” he said. “The world has lost a brilliant human being and I’ve lost one of the few people I could talk to about some of this stuff. When I did see him he and I would walk off into a corner or have dinner together and share our deepest darkest stuff.”

    He last spoke with Mr. Bourdain about a month ago. “He told me he’d never been happier. He felt that he had finally found his true soul mate in Asia,” he said, referring to Mr. Bourdain’s girlfriend, the actor Asia Argento.

    But Mr. Zimmern had some indication that perhaps there was more going on.

    “Things on the surface never seemed to add up or make sense,” he said.

    Source: http://us.pressfrom.com/news/offbeat/-153095-anthony-bourdain-chef-travel-host-and-author-is-dead-at-61/

  68. iwonder says:

    Ottavia’s post on instagram:

  69. Morganlf says:

    the boots rock…warrior princess..I still have deep racking sobs. This helps..she’s so like her parents.

  70. Laura N. says:

    OMG! What a brave little girl. I can’t even imagine.

  71. catsworking says:

    Laura, I can’t think of a time Asia came to the U.S. with Tony, so I would guess she never met Ariane. I would think Ripert has met her because he’s traveled in Europe with Tony while he and Asia were an item. His wife? Probably not.

    The relationship seemed to be one where Asia occupied Europe and Ottavia got North America. Tony would have Asia appear on his show (she was in another episode where they were eating seafood somewhere outside) and they’d be like a normal couple. But when he was on this side of the pond, he was Daddy to Ariane. And I don’t think he would have wanted to push Asia in Ottavia’s face, simply out of respect, and because they were amicably co-parenting. Why screw that up and turn it into a nasty divorce?

    It was definitely a double life situation.

  72. catsworking says:

    iwonder, thank you very much for that timeline. It certainly puts things into perspective. I’m still saying that Asia would have a lot of nerve to show up at any service for Tony that Ottavia arranges, and I don’t think she will.

  73. catsworking says:

    Morgan, I think your air date is right. For some reason I feel like the weather was cold when I saw the Rome episode, the Bourdains were split, and I wondered if Asia was his next thing, not knowing all this backstory.

  74. catsworking says:

    iwonder, I saw these quotes from Zimmern, and I hope he clarifies the comment, “Things on the surface never seemed to add up or makes sense.” Or perhaps he was simply referring to when Tony claimed he met Asia and when it actually happened, which would reveal he was cheating on Ottavia.

    This revelation is breaking my heart. I thought he’d cleaned up his act.

  75. catsworking says:

    I can see so much of him in Ariane! She’s definitely got the height and is growing up so fast. With parents like hers, she’s going to be a force to be reckoned with.

    Sort of reminds me of Bindy Irwin, who also lost her father as a girl. I think she’s carrying on his work with animals.

    Will Ariane carry on Tony’s work with food or travel? Time will tell.

  76. Laura N. says:

    Well, Rose McGowan, Asia’s partner in crime who never misses a chance to make everything about herself, is speaking on Asia’s behalf and telling folks to back off of her best buddy. She says some very very interesting things about Asia and Anthony’s relationship. Which, if true, confirms part of the reason I felt he was walking down a dark path in taking up with her. I could go on more but I’ll wait and see what the rest of you think if this.

  77. Bacardi1/Bonnie C. says:

    Oh, brother.

  78. catsworking says:

    Thanks for the link, Laura. The hits just keep coming and coming. So an even more self-destructive personality than his is what constituted his final, fatal attraction. Wow.

    What I would like to see right now, to honor Bourdain’s memory, is for Rose McGowan to butt out, and for Asia Argento to stay quiet and out of sight until this is all over. They are outliers. This is a time for his family to come together. His wife is handling his final arrangements while trying to maintain a semblance of normalcy for Ariane. Ottavia has had the sense not to shoot her mouth off even though, from the looks of things, if there’s any blame to be directed at Asia, it would be from Ottavia.

    As for Asia being such a “strong woman” and a “survivor,” screw that. In his last hours, she wasn’t worried about him. She was posting “Fuck Everyone” on Instagram. Did that include him? The only tiny silver lining in all this may be that it has freed Bourdain from Argento and he’s beyond her reach to hurt him anymore.

  79. Laura N. says:

    Asia and Rose, two very toxic and destructive individuals, will use his death for as a way to drum up some publicity and opportunities for themselves. They’ve spoken more than his actual family. And with this open letter to the media that Asia and Rose have put out there, they’re saying things that could be very hurtful to his family if true. They have overstepped their bounds. In another article which had more quotes from her letter, she even brought up Anthony’s age as a reason for his not wanting to do the work to save his life.

    I do not believe that they had an open relationship. I simply cannot believe he left his wife and child to be in some “free love” situation with Asia. I’m not buying that.

    Also, if it’s true that their bond was rooted in their depression and destructive tendencies, which I do believe, then some of the things she said bother me a lot. Obviously, we’re all just speculating here but I think things got very very dark. Rose kept using the words “choice” and “decision” when talking about his suicide. Most people don’t talk about suicide that way. You hear words like “succumbed” or phrases like “lost his battle with depression”. You don’t generally hear people say “yes, it’s sad but it was his choice”. People generally don’t talk about the act of suicide that way, especially when mourning a friend. Maybe I’m reading too much into this, but it sounds like there was maybe talk of killing themselves together. The way she kept putting Asia’s “choice” against Anthony’s “choice” was odd to me. Like the made the “choice” to go through with the plan and Asia did not.

  80. Laura N. says:

    Scroll down beneath the pic of Anthony resting his head in Asia’s shoulder. Asia has put out a statement saying she asked Rose to speak for her. These two are going to make this all about them.

    Rose McGowan Said Anthony Bourdain And Asia Argento “Had A Free Relationship” https://www.buzzfeed.com/krystieyandoli/rose-mcgowan-said-anthony-bourdain-and-asia-argento-had-a?utm_term=.hwZLXzpnl

  81. catsworking says:

    Laura, more excellent research. Thank you. OK, I’ve read McGowan’s letter and now I’m getting REALLY angry.

    If Asia is so strong, why is McGowan speaking for her? Because it would be unseemly to say, “Yeah, photos of me on the ‘net crawling all over another man a few days before my ‘love, my rock, my protector’ decided to die were published, but that was MY choice. He made HIS choice. I had nothing to do with it.”

    Excusing her behavior by claiming they had an “open” relationship is utter bullshit. There are too many pictures of him absolutely besotted with her. If she thinks for one moment he’d be okay with her having a 28-year-old cutie on the side when he wasn’t around, she’s insane.

    If Bourdain was showing any signs of mental breakdown, they manifested in his decision to fall hook, line, and sinker for a skank.

    I wish Argento would issue another statement right now giving Rose McGowan permission to STFU. Enough already with the excuses and defensiveness. They’re just devastated at losing access to a much bigger celebrity through which to promote their twisted cause. Argento “survived” cunnilingus, then willingly dated for several years the “monster” who performed it. Did she see him as another “rock” and “protector” of her career?

    You want to know who’s emerged as a true giant of grace in this? Ariane. Two days after her father died, she got up on a stage and SANG. Most little girls would be under the bed sobbing over losing their father, but not Bourdain’s girl. Just thinking of the courage it took for her to perform when her heart must be broken is what’s finally bringing on the tears I’ve been damming up since Friday.

  82. Morganlf says:

    What a bunch of shit! Laura you called it.

    These 2 used up slags are doing way too much talking. How dare Rose McGowan presume to be Anthony’s voice? She was “asked” by Argento. Spare me!

    Here’s what happened: the world figured Asia for the grasping, lying, trash she is. She’s getting slammed and not without reason. If Harvey Weinstein was free she’d be sitting in his lap.

    Watch these two capitalize on this! Next comes the mental health tour. Asia will manufacture all of Tony’s darkness and cast hesrself as heroine, she will pepper it with lots of I’m the victim, slut shaming references. Guest speaker, Rose Mcgowan ex of Marilyn Manson, grew up in cult, and oh yeah victim.

    Oh brother indeed.

  83. Laura N. says:

    Mere hours after Anthony’s passing is made public, Rose puts out her video, teary eyed and snot nosed, screaming anout how angry she is with Anthony and how she and poor Asia needed him. No mention of his daughter of course. And then Asia puts out her phony statement. And the Rose puts out her open letter. And then Asia puts out a statement saying she gave the OK for Rose to speak for her. We’ve heard more from these two than anyone else involved in this tragedy, including his own mother.

    They’re loving the attention. This is catnip for narcissists. God help us all if they show up to the funeral.

  84. Bacardi1/Bonnie C. says:

    I think the only consolation anyone is going to get from these two women’s antics is the fact that their time in the spotlight – regardless of how long they try to extend it – will be severely limited. I don’t see anyone of any consequence (or anyone at all, for that matter) jumping to their defense, & unlike Bourdain, they will barely be remembered within a very brief amount of time. And those few who do remember them, will be doing so with a well-deserved extremely poor opinion.

  85. catsworking says:

    Adele, you’re right, of course. But if we all lie down and let exploitive bullshit go without question, the bullshit wins.

    Laura, I saw McGowan’s teary rant on Twitter (Friday?) and was absolutely appalled. She’s got nerve, and what she said about she and Asia “needing” him said it all. Two ambitious little birds of a feather.

    And you’re right, the family and his real friends have been pretty circumspect. His mother apparently did a phone interview on Today, but from what I saw, she barely got a word in around their archived backstory and babbling.

    Ottavia in particular. She’s in a difficult position. They were separated, so she really can’t play the grieving widow, although I have no doubt she’s heartbroken. They were family. Putting that picture of Ariane carrying on so bravely was, I thought, appropriate. There are very few photos in existence that show her face. Tony always said they wanted to leave it up to her to decide how much of a public figure she wanted to be when she was ready.

    Rose McGowan may be ditzy enough to try to crash the funeral, but I seriously doubt we’ll see Asia. And the sooner they both lose the spotlight and go back to the D list, the better.

  86. Adele Prass says:

    Yeah, for Ariane’s sake, I’m hoping for obscurity for Asia and Rose, and it can’t come soon enough. BTW, I did read somewhere that the last time Tony and Asia (see, I’m doing it, too) were photographed together was in NYC in April. And that dinner he cooked for Asia, Rose, and Annabella Sciorra (who I always liked) was in NYC.

    Jeez, the last thing I ever thought, when I stumbled across Cats Working ten or so years ago, was that most of us would reassemble to talk about Tony’s death. Sad, sad, sad.

  87. catsworking says:

    No, they were together more recently, in Firenze (Florence?) after he had filmed there (will there be a Florence episode?). It’s black and white, she’s smoking a cigarette, and she’s wearing the same shoes she wore strolling around Rome with Hugo (I noticed because I liked them). It’s been quite prominent in the recent write-ups. I just found it in this article. Scroll down a bit:


    I remember reading about him cooking dinner for Asia, Rose, and someone else who were all #MeToo. The women posted pics of it. I didn’t think they were in NY (I don’t recall Asia ever being here with him), but I could be wrong. I wasn’t paying a lot of attention to that relationship.

  88. iwonder says:

    In Rose McGowen’s statement on behalf of Asia:
    “He’s never met anyone who wanted to die more than him.”

    So now that’s on record for her daughter to see when she is older.
    And now putting out there that it was an open relationship, to defend the photos.
    Ghouls. It’s just disgusting.

    You know, I don’t recall him talking a lot about depression of late, except in past tense – relating to how he felt after his first divorce.
    All interviews over many years now speak of his new love for life, his daughter, his drive. Even his mother said that she had no indication that he was at risk. I think something happened and he was devastated about it and made an impulsive decision.
    Because it is absolutely counter to his past behaviour – to chance Eric finding him and to let his crew down, who were setting up to film.

    I didn’t mean to imply that it was an affair with Asia, just that perhaps she was a catalyst in the separation in terms of timing. If there was a betrayal in that relationship, his pain may have been exacerbated by that fact.

  89. catsworking says:

    Here’s the article I saw about the dinner, but I don’t think it says where they were, but since it’s in NY Daily News, you’re probably right. They were at his apartment.


  90. Morganlf says:

    Again I agree with wonder. Rose McGowan’s reckless statements and the “revelation” that he’d sought help but ignored his doctors, is not her information to give.
    I reject the veracity of her story, implying Tony was a chronically depressed, hopelessly suicidal man.

    She is a conniving, slanderous, media manipulator, who blames a dead man while whitewashing the obvious for her pal Argento and into the bargain hogs a lot of coverage…how convenient, she published a book this year.

    If true and he’d sought help for a depression that NO OTHER SOURCE confirms…it was still not her story to tell.

    He has a child!!

    Ghouls indeed.

  91. catsworking says:

    iwonder, I totally agree with this assessment. He seemed ebullient of late. Happy with his career, his love life. Only disappoint was the failure of Bourdain Market, which I blame largely on Trump, who probably made securing visas for the vendors an impossible muddle.

    Can’t say that Asia was the thing that sent him over the edge. Perhaps other things happened we have no clue about. I still hold out hope that he left some explanation behind, if only to give comfort to his daughter.

  92. catsworking says:

    Morgan, I don’t get the “ignored his doctor” implication. What? He didn’t take his meds? He preferred to be a tortured soul? He took Chantix to quit smoking, for God’s sake. Why not take anti-depressants if he knew he needed them? It doesn’t make any sense.

    We’re talking about a man who lived through lows lower than any of us have probably ever known with drugs and shitty jobs and financial insecurity, and he didn’t kill himself then.

    Last week he was on top of the world, with the “greatest job in the world,” going wherever fancy took him, doing whatever he liked, seeing the most beautiful sights, eating the most delicious food, meeting the most interesting people. Many income streams, money was no problem. Hot younger girlfriend. Amicable wife, loving daughter. Working with crew he loved and good friends. What blew that up?

    As outsiders, we have only seen one possibility, and she’s been screaming her innocence through a surrogate. Was there something else we don’t know about? I’m still waiting to find out.

  93. Morganlf says:

    Oh and Karen I noticed the shoes too. The flat Mary Janes. I also noted the outfit changes and unless Asia changes like every 4 hours, there were enough to indicate this public display that just so happened to be caught took place over more than a weekend.

    Additionally the Instagram post she took down:

    Was reportedly geoposted showing her whereabouts as not with Bourdain in France. It was also reported the Bizarre post was put up 2-3 hours before his death.

    When it was announced, she quickly took it down. Ask yourself, why?

  94. iwonder says:

    The timing of the photos and Rose’s emphasis on theirs being an open “free” relationship, smacks of ass-covering to me…

    McGowan, who is a friend of Argento’s, sent an email to members of the press saying that Bourdain and Argento “had a free relationship.”

    “They loved without borders of traditional relationships, and they established the parameters of their relationship early on,” she wrote. “Asia is a free bird, and so was Anthony. Was. Such a terrible word to write.”

    Free bird? Uhm, that’s contrary to statements that Tony himself made and his personal history with long term, loyal, monogamous partnerships.

  95. Morganlf says:

    Boom! iwonder!

    Yes historically Tony was never an open relationship guy.

    Free bird is a spin a lie.

    I’ve made it clear I found his cloying devotion to Argento befuddling. In no way do his posts indicate “open relationship”
    . Ruhlman In the special CNN aired said some of Tony’s last words to him (and I paraphrase) …love is everywhere. Zimmern echoed that.
    Being cucked all over the papers couldnt have made him happy, rather the opposite.

  96. catsworking says:

    Morgan, what I read (and think I posted a link here) said that Asia spent that last weekend at the same hotel she had stayed with Bourdain many times, called something Russie, and was seen repeatedly coming and going there with her boy toy, so yes, she was definitely having a new affair.

    The “Fuck Everyone” T-shirt may have been directed at Bourdain, since she must have known the pictures of her had been published. Perhaps he texted her about them. That she took the post down upon news of his death would indicate guilt over it.

    Maybe she did something he didn’t like. He called her out on it. They broke up. She immediately rubbed his nose in a much younger man knowing that was the surest way to emasculate him and told him to go fuck himself. Then he killed himself.

    Was she the catalyst or was there something else in play? We don’t know.

    Claiming they had an “open” relationship after the fact is convenient bullshit to excuse her slutty behavior, which he now can’t refute. He was a serial monogamist. When he was with someone, he was WITH them. (Morgan, I know you don’t agree with that.) But when he was in love, I think he was faithful.

  97. iwonder says:

    Wow, I just saw that Tony had unfollowed Asia on Instagram.

  98. iwonder says:

    Also, apparently she had unfollowed him, but then she followed him back as soon as she found out he died.

  99. catsworking says:

    Well, that sounds like a breakup (a la middle school) and she has shit for brains. What did she think he would be posting on Instagram after he was dead?

    Dario Argento. Never heard of him, and I was into shitty vampire movies, foreign and domestic, in the ’70s and ’80s.

    I adore Bourdain, but the two things where our tastes diverged were music and movies. He was into some real crap, IMHO.

  100. iwonder says:

    She was probably hoping that no-one would notice that she’d unfollowed him so she could pretend the break up didn’t happen and throw herself into the grieving soulmate role – which is exactly what she did. But, she can’t fix it that he had unfollowed her…

  101. catsworking says:

    The mutual unfollowings would indicate that they did have a parting of the ways, although we don’t know why. Didn’t her weekend with Hugo happen after that?

    She can now resign herself to being a footnote on Bourdain’s life, the bit of fluff he humped in his final years. She ultimately meant nothing to him because he unfollowed her to spare himself the sight of her sordid doings. Ariane and Ottavia were his real and forever family.

    The more Asia tries to milk this Bourdain connection, on the heels of exploiting her relationship with Weinstein, the less credible and more toxic she becomes.

  102. iwonder says:

    The last photo Tony liked on Asia’s Instagram was on the 4th of June. The weekend she spend with Hugo was on the 3rd and 4th, with the photos hitting the internet on the 5th. If there was a break-up, it certainly points to the photos being the trigger.

  103. Morganlf says:

    No. He unfollowed BECAUSE he was upset, likely heartbroken, angry.

    Their relationship played out on instagram. I often felt he used it to glorify this tawdry wench and punish… Someone.

    It was a declaration by Tony, She responded with the fuck you T-shirt post. She played him hard. Why delete the post hours after his death announced? Why unfollow the refollow…covering tracks?
    Yet somehow had the presence of mind

    Remember on instagram only weeks prior he posted this:

    Then this:

    View this post on Instagram

    Swag pic by @anthonybourdain

    A post shared by asiaargento (@asiaargento) on

    He caught her they argued, it tripped something. She acting guilty as fuck why unfollow then refollow did she hope we wouldn’t notice?

    Why post fuck you then unpost?
    Covering tracks much?

    He was seduced by this Italian d list trick. Who is guilty as fuck. Why did he love her so much that he felt compelled to leave? Don’t know but obsessive love is destructive and irrational.

    Ottavia and Tony never unfollowed each other. Whatever happened between them she has been private. Class act.

    But I’ve always wondered why tony was so compelled to put his relationship with tattooed trash on blast.

    But that’s another story.

  104. Laura N. says:

    Well, I certainly believe the claims that he was “lovestruck” over her.

    I’d been saying that since last year. His social media, especially his twitter, was almost entirely dedicated to Asia. And she rarely responded to or retweeted him. No question he was way more into her than she was him. She used him. A while back, I read a random rumor on twitter or facebook saying he was the one who got her the X Factor Italy gig. I believe that. And sounds like he was planning on giving her more Parts Unknown directing gigs. She hasn’t has this much work since she was Weinstein’s girl. He was a wealthy 61 year old mark who thought he’d found his soul mate.

    I do think he lost himself over this woman. He kind of fetishized her IMO. She is 20 years his junior, a brunette with a bob haircut, liked the same kind of pop culture, she’s Italian, a “badass”, a “film star”, the daughter of a supposedly great Italian director, etc. Look, this one pushed all the buttons, ok. She was a goddess in his eyes. And I do believe being so cruely betrayed by her, especially publicly, set off a lot of issues for him and ultimately made him want to take his own life.

  105. Bacardi1/Bonnie C. says:

    Again, the only saving grace to this whole uber-tragic scenario is that Argento will from now on forever be known as the person who callously caused the death of Anthony Bourdain – regardless of what she does or says, or how many of her skanky friends she manages to dredge up to vouch for her (& I don’t see them lining up. . . .).

  106. catsworking says:

    I keep checking, but so far see nothing about Tony’s whereabouts or funeral arrangements. Eric Ripert did post a photo of an obelisk in NYC at 7 a.m. today, so he’s apparently back.

    On Sunday, Tony’s mother said his body was being held up “a few days” in France due to technicalities, but the local French authorities said yesterday they’re waiting for instructions from the family on how to get him back.

    This coming on the heels of Asia being so vocal about Weinstein on relatively flimsy circumstances, I think, will cement her as a pariah, at least in Italy. Rose McGowan certainly hasn’t done her any favors over here.

    The interview in the Italian press (translated – poorly – in my comment below) with the paparazzi who took and sold photos of Asia with Huge is pretty damning, especially when he said she told him she’d be “ruined” if he published them. Consciousness of guilt.

    On the other hand, she may try to regain the spotlight by writing a tell-all about Bourdain’s last years with her. I can totally see that happening.

  107. feijicha says:

    unfortunately I’ve seen a lot of comments online where people have taken McGowan’s letter as truth and are falling into the whole ‘don’t blame her for what he did’ trap. Yeah he did kill himself but that doesn’t mean she wasn’t a shit to him and behaved abominably. The truth will get out.

  108. catsworking says:

    Ah, the sheeple who’d rather not think for themselves and recognize bullshit when they see it.

    I think there were a lot of long-simmering things going on inside Bourdain. “I have the best job in the world. Why? Am I worthy? Do I deserve it? Why have I been granted everything I ever wanted? Can I keep it up? How many years do I have left?”

    I could go on and on. But if his friends’ reports of how besotted he was with Asia are true, then seeing those pics of her cavorting with the young French stud may have been the last straw.

    I’m still holding out hope that he wrote something, SOMEWHERE, that will come to light and reveal his state of mind. I refuse to believe that he, as the master communicator he was, decided to disappear in total silence. Especially because he was leaving his daughter behind.

  109. Laura N. says:

    Honestly, with the French officials saying that it was an impulsive act, I wouldn’t be surprised if there wasn’t a note explaining why. There was something in that room or on his person that made them believe it was done without much thought. Maybe he scrawled a sentence or two on a notepad. I hope he left something substantial but I really wouldn’t be shocked if he didn’t. He was indeed a master communicator but he was not himself in that moment.

  110. catsworking says:

    Laura, I think you raise an excellent point. If it really was spur of the moment, as it seemed to be, then no, no note.

    But perhaps in the last work he did he may have left some fatalistic clues. On his phone, his laptop, his iPad. We have heard nothing of those. They were locked in a safe.

    Asia may be sitting on damning texts. Or maybe phone calls. Otherwise, who else was she responding to when she posted the “FUCK EVERYONE” message? She hadn’t done anything shitty at that point that we know of but cheat on Tony.

    If only he had a taste for age-appropriate women, we wouldn’t be trying to make sense of this insanity.

  111. Bacardi1/Bonnie C. says:

    To be honest, I don’t think it’s a question about him choosing “age-appropriate women”. That’s being more than a little discriminatory. There are plenty of young women around who are kind & responsible, & plenty of May/December relationships around that work beautifully.

    He just chose unwisely character-wise.

  112. catsworking says:

    Bacardi, that’s just me regretting that he didn’t end up with Nigella Lawson. 😉

    And as someone who dated several much older men (the last lover is 86 now when I’m 63), I wouldn’t wish that on any young woman unless she aspires to be a nurse.

  113. Perplexedbutnotbewildered says:

    The truth is Ottavia or Asia both cucked Tony. It’s all over social media where anyone can see it. Ottavia has hundreds of photos of her with younger men, on Twitter and Instagram. One can only imagine how humiliating it must have been for Anthony to pretend it didn’t bother him that his young wife was rolling in the floor with men half his age, men who could break him in half. She truly enjoyed tormenting and shamelessly cucking Anthony. Her and Asia have a lot in common, more than people know.The only woman who ever loved Anthony was his 1st wife. I do not know what happened between Ottavia and Anthony but it happened years ago. They have been separated for years and weren’t married long before they separated. A marriage of convenience.

  114. catsworking says:

    Welcome, Perplexed. Ottavia happened to choose a sport where she had to be around fit young guys constantly. They’re her teachers and colleagues. I don’t believe for one minute that she was screwing all of them. You’ve been reading some sick websites if you think otherwise. I’ve seen some of that.

    Tony actually took up jiu jitsu himself in the final phase of their marriage, which gave him an opportunity to see what was going on. Yet, even after they split up, he did nothing to initiate a divorce. NOTHING. His mother has said they were still married and Ottavia was declared his next of kin. They had a daughter to raise together, and I think he did his best trying to juggle fatherhood with work that kept him absent 95% of the time. He was living in a no-win situation there.

    And he had called Nancy the “love of his life.” When he was in France by himself and passed out in a restaurant a few years ago, he almost immediately emailed Nancy to apologize for whatever wrongs he committed against her. And he didn’t divorce Nancy until Ariane was on the way. I do believe he may have gone back to Nancy when the TV stuff ended and he could just be writer.

    But then he decided to start a family with Ottavia and that changed things completely. He wanted Ariane to be legitimate, apparently.

  115. Bacardi1/Bonnie C. says:

    Just saw this in “The New York Times”:


    They too are saying that it was the receptionist who found the body, not Eric Ripert.

  116. catsworking says:

    Bacardi, thanks for the link. OK, so now we have learned…

    1. Eric was not the one who found Tony. I’m grateful for that, although feeling very bad for the receptionist.
    2. Tony’s brother has all his electronic devices.
    3. Tony’s mother is getting her first tattoo on a wrist in his memory (not sure about that one — she’s brave).
    4. Tony wasn’t doing drugs again, prescription or otherwise.

  117. Bacardi1/Bonnie C. says:

    Well, the medication “could” have been a prescription. They just stated that it wasn’t a narcotic & that whatever it was, was a “therapeutic dose”, so nothing out of the ordinary.

  118. catsworking says:

    Bacardi, true. He mentioned once taking a statin for cholesterol. Could have been that.

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