When Did We Elect Jared Kushner?

By Karen

After discovering that being president eats into his time watching Fox, tweeting, playing golf, and wasting taxpayers’ money feeding his ego with nostalgia rallies all over the country, Donald Trump has dumped most of the job’s heavy lifting onto his son-in-law, Jared Kushner.

Thanks to nepotism gone wild, we now have a rookie 30-something with no government experience making decisions on important domestic matters, whenever he’s not off somewhere undermining our professional diplomats’ work on foreign affairs.

NY Daily News photo

From what I could gather, here’s what Jared currently has on his plate…

  • Coordinate building the Mexico wall
  • End the opioid epidemic
  • Revamp the Veterans Administration
  • Manage all trade deals
  • Roll out broadband access nationally
  • Fix the criminal justice system
  • Oversee $1 trillion in infrastructure projects, guaranteed to attract big developers like Jared’s father
  • Handle diplomatic relations with Canada, China, and Iraq
  • Monitor the National Security Council regarding North Korea’s nuclear threat
  • Negotiate peace in the Middle East, because he’s Jewish
  • Head the newly formed Office of American Innovation to introduce Trump’s corrupt business practices into government

I believe Trump tapped Jared for this workload because he sees any man who wants to (and does) bang his daughter Ivanka as a kindred spirit he can totally trust.

Let’s look at Jared’s qualifications. He inherited his father Charles’ real estate business at age 24 when his dad went to prison for witness tampering, illegal campaign contributions, and tax evasion. Charles is now free and back at the reins, and he’s given top jobs in the business to fellow ex-cons he met in prison.

Jared has never attempted any business project without backing from the Kushner family, and the moment in 2009 when he pulled his head out of their ass to marry Ivanka Trump, he took one deep breath and inserted it firmly up Donald’s ass, where it remains today.

I wonder if Trump’s own sons, Uday and Qusay, oops, I mean Eric and Donald Jr., harbor any resentment toward this kid whom Dad has chosen to run an entity far greater than any Trump Organization — the United States of America.

If Jared ever has a question or feels unsure, he can always consult the wisdom of the bloated orange man-baby whom ISIS has astutely pegged “a foolish idiot.”

The cliché, “The blind leading the blind,” has never been more apt.

It seems inevitable that Jared will be unable to bring his plate-spinning act to a successful conclusion. When they come crashing down around him, what will Donald do? Take responsibility for his own inability to lead or delegate duties appropriately, or throw Jared under the bus? Obama could probably answer that.

Just when you think Trump can’t sink any lower, he positions his beloved Ivanka’s husband to take his fall when things fall apart — and Jared doesn’t seem to see it coming.

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7 Responses to When Did We Elect Jared Kushner?

  1. keriwormald says:

    The photo of Jared “hangin'” with Chris Christie said it all. Opportunity over family loyalty? You betcha. Ivanka having “smokin’ body” was just an unexpected perk. He’s in my bracket for jail time. Of course, my bracket was busted when Carter Page identified himself as a patsy/Russian asset known as Man 1. This would be hilarious if it were someone else’s country.

  2. Frederick James says:

    Lets not forget that his father had to spend millions to get Jared into Harvard undergrad and NYU law school. I would have felt slightly better if this guy had managed to get into a university on his own but he cant even claim that.

  3. catsworking says:

    Welcome, Frederick! I know. I didn’t touch on the education bit, but it’s true. As I said before, the kid has really done nothing on his own but procreate, and that’s just doing what comes naturally.

    Now I wonder if Trump will put Jared in charge of our blossoming war with Syria?

    Keri, it won’t surprise me if Jared doesn’t inadvertently step into some deep doo-doo on one or more of his tasks that lands him in big legal trouble. But of course we know Daddy Deep Pockets, with all his good prison contacts, will make sure he never spends a day in jail.

  4. Randi says:

    Trump will do anything to NOT take the blame if… or should I say when something goes horribly wrong, and that’s whether or not his own family will end up in deep shit! He will not even apologise.
    And yes, Jared inherited his father Charles’ real estate business, so I bet Trump is proud that his daughter married him, since he has a similar background as himself.
    What amazes me, is that half the American people could not see it coming. Still, let’s hope it won’t be too long before this circus is over.

  5. catsworking says:

    Syria may bring this whole thing to a head sooner than expected. Putin now has proof that Trump is capable of anything and has no gratitude for all Russia’s help in getting him elected. Since Putin knows he’ll never be able to “collect” on the favor he did, he might as well help us get rid of Trump by putting whatever dirt he has out there for the investigative committees to find.

    Putin probably sees Pence as a pussy he can steamroll over. He may work on strategy with his BFF Rex Tillerson when Tillerson visits Moscow soon. We already seem to be so deep in treason, what’s wrong with a little more when it’s directed AT Trump, rather than FOR him?

  6. morganLf says:

    Like a banana republic he surrounds himself with family. And what about Uday and Usay…? Running the blind trust? Oh wait he lied about that too. There is no blind trust.

  7. catsworking says:

    All the filth about his business conflicts of interests and entanglements with foreign governments are undoubtedly in the tax returns he’s terrified of releasing. There’s nothing “blind” about what’s happening with his business interests now. We see him every week funneling business to his own hotels, resorts, and restaurants, with tabs paid by U.S. taxpayers. It’s not like as a president who engages in such blatant exploitation of his office, Trump would ever dream of comping the meals or the hotel stays of his guests.

    Giving his first quarter’s salary to the National Parks Service after declaring he wants to cut their budget by infinitely more was like a slap in the face, compared to the profits his businesses are probably reaping, thanks to foreign governments patronizing them to curry favor.

    I give the Chinese president kudos for staying in a hotel in Florida, instead of at Mar-a-Lago, which Trump would have undoubtedly preferred.

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