It’s Official: Trump Requires a Caretaker

By Karen

In the clearest indication yet that Donald Trump is unmanageable, an official job has been created for his daughter Ivanka — Assistant to the President.

She’ll soon be widely known as the Assistant President. At age 35, Ivanka just makes the minimum age someone must be to serve as president.

The job supposedly comes with no salary, but I don’t believe it. When has Trump ever given the government a freebie? The Secret Service is hunting for change between the sofa cushions to finance protecting his whole far-flung family, even if it means paying to rent space in Trump Tower or book rooms at Trump resorts.

Ivanka’s 36-year-old husband, Jared Kushner, already serves as Trump’s senior advisor, with myriad little projects on his to-do list, achieving Middle East peace among them.

Jared will also head a newly created White House Office of American Innovation. It’s purpose is to foster business practices in government that have worked so well for Trump, such as stiffing contractors, swindling customers, and declaring bankruptcy.

It seems the Kushners, whom nobody ever voted for, are now poised to run the country, using Trump as their ventriloquist’s dummy. Neither have any government or diplomatic experience, and everything they’ve ever accomplished in life, except for producing three kids, has been facilitated by their rich daddies.

To see Trump leaning so heavily on his daughter could indicate several things:

  • He knows he’s in over his head, whether through deliberate ignorance or a deteriorating mental state, and he needs Ivanka for cover.
  • He can fob off on Ivanka any task he finds distasteful, which means everything that doesn’t involve him scribbling his name while evil white men applaud his cleverness.
  • Ivanka is no longer part of the Trump organization, so presumably she isn’t prohibited from talking shop with her brothers and can serve as Trump’s conduit for keeping tabs on the family businesses.

This development is weird, but not all bad. The Kushners may temporarily cushion the country from the worst of Trump’s madness until we learn exactly what’s up with Trump and his crew’s treasonous fascination with Russians. Then Congress will be compelled to kick the whole sorry lot to the curb — or to jail.

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