New Blood Sport: Tag-Teaming Trump

June 20, 2016

By Karen

Donald Trump once boasted he could shoot someone and not lose any followers, but shooting off his own mouth has earned him some serious backlash. My new hobby is watching Trump get attacked on all sides.

For the Democrats, Elizabeth Warren, aka “Pocahontas” to Trump, leads the charge. In New Hampshire she called Trump a “thin-skinned, racist bully” and a “small, insecure money-grubber.” In DC, Warren labeled Trump a “loud, nasty, thin-skinned fraud” and a “wannabe tyrant.” And she’s just warming up.

Obama criticized with a broad brush “politicians who tweet,” “yap” and have a “dangerous” mindset and “loose talk and sloppiness” when discussing terrorism.

Hillary is trying stay out the mud, but has warned,” Be afraid, be very afraid,” of Trump’s foreign policy ideas. And that electing Trump would be a “historic mistake.” His ideas “aren’t just different, they’re dangerously incoherent… bizarre rants, personal feuds and outright lies. He is not just unprepared, he’s is temperamentally unfit to hold an office that requires knowledge, stability and immense responsibility.”

Trump even managed to go too far with the NRA. After Trump lamented that the victims in the Orlando attack weren’t armed to take out the terrorist, the NRA now insists alcohol and firearms don’t mix (since when?) and that Trump’s opinion “defies common sense.”

By managing to sound nuttier than the NRA’s CEO, Wayne LaPierre, Trump has actually forced the NRA to grow up a little. It tweeted: “Our position is no guns for terrorists — period.”

Nice try, NRA, but too little, too late. Thanks to you, assault weapons are everywhere, readily available, and the preferred tool of homegrown terrorists.

Even some GOP convention delegates are on an “Anybody but Trump” drive, pushing for a “conscience clause” so they won’t have to vote for Trump.

Meanwhile, Paul Ryan and other GOP leadership meekly let Trump tell them to “be quiet” so he can win the election on his own. Their acquiescence in letting that maniac try to take over the country amounts to treason.

I predict that Trump will go down. Maybe not at the convention, but surely after he debates Hillary. She’ll coolly cut him to shreds with facts and policies that make sense, and the touchy orange buffoon will respond with more empty, hyperbolic boasting and personal insults, like an ape hurling verbal feces. It’s Trump’s schtick, and that’s all he’s got.

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Trump Exploits Orlando Massacre for Political Points

June 13, 2016

By Karen

Unfortunately, it’s taken the worst mass shooting yet, 49 victims dead, 53 wounded in Orlando, to show us how Trump as president would respond to a crisis.

First, he took to Twitter to bask in congratulations for “being right” about Muslims, whom he wants to ban from entering the country. For those already here, it was remarkable that he didn’t float the idea of death camps.

Then he demanded that Obama resign for refusing to call the Orlando LGBT massacre “radical Islamic terrorism,” and even suggested that Obama was somehow in on it, or condoned it.

This morning on CBS This Morning, without actually using the word (the sin he so quickly pins on everyone else), Trump essentially called for establishment of an American Gestapo — “intelligence-gathering like never before.” (If you click this link, keep listening after Trump to hear Hillary’s response. Quite a contrast.)

And then on CNN he blamed the victims themselves, claiming they could have avoided being killed had they been armed. As if that’s ever saved anybody in any previous massacre.

Basically, Trump compiled every stupid conservative comeback to a mass shooting to create his own personal “greatest hits” mix of ignorant platitudes.

By hanging on his every eruption of verbal vomit, the media has enabled Trump to eclipse this tragedy and make it all about himself.

Shame on the media. If ever there was a time to pull the plug on a dangerous maniac, this is it. And I’m not talking about the shooter.

Trump is calling for even more guns and predicting more and worse violence. He’s doing everything but issue engraved invitations to the gun-loving bottom-feeders who worship him to kick the carnage up a notch — by implying it’s open season on anyone who might look like a terrorist.

Congress must admit that NOBODY outside the military needs to own an AK-anything and start taking steps to eliminate them. The Second Amendment doesn’t guarantee anyone’s right to bear assault weapons. Enough’s enough.


A Cat Interviews Exaggerator

June 10, 2016

By Adele

No, the Exaggerator isn’t Donald Trump. He’s my 2016 favorite horse. I managed to pull strings for some cat-on-horse time before his last and longest Triple Crown race, the Belmont Stakes on June 11 (NBC, 5-7 p.m. ET).

In case you’re tuning in late, Exaggerator ran second to Nyquist in the Kentucky Derby, but then handed Nyquist his first-ever defeat in the Preakness.

We Skyped while the Ex Man rested up before the big day. (Shhh! Don’t tell Karen I stole her iPad!)

Adele: Are you bummed Nyquist won’t be racing? Everybody was hoping one of you would pull off two out of three Triple Crown wins.

Exaggerator: Yeah, that would have been a crowd-pleaser. But Nyquist ran a fever after the Preakness, so I’m glad his peeps showed some horse sense and let him rest.

But if Nyquist had run again and I won, I’d be remembered as “The Horse Who Missed the Triple Crown by 1 ½ Lengths.” That would have pissed me off, so I guess it’s all for the best.

Adele: After the Preakness, I heard your dad Curlin was handing out cigars at Hill ‘n’ Dale between his stud appointments. He called you a “chip off the old hoof.” After you ate Nyquist’s dust in four previous races, he’s proud you finally gave Nyquist a taste of your tail.

Ex: OK, I’ll admit, that felt great. Dad’s my inspiration, and filling his shoes ain’t easy. He was 2007 Horse of the Year, you know.

On the other hand, I did outrun him in the Derby because he came in 3rd. We both won the Preakness. He lost the Belmont by a head to a filly named Rags to Riches. If I end up losing, at least it won’t be to a girl.

Adele: Just watch out for Cherry Wine. He almost smelled victory in the Preakness, and he’s trying again at Belmont. Do you have a strategy?

Ex: Horses don’t do strategy. We leave that sneaky stuff to the jockeys. “Hug the rail or go wide? Hang back or set the pace? Whip or no whip?”

All we want to do is cross the finish line in one piece and get those little maniacs off our backs. You never see horses take racing too seriously. We don’t cry foul if we don’t come in first, or pick a fight with some horse who bumped us. Team mentality is for sled dogs and Clydesdales. We thoroughbreds just want to do our own thing, which is to run like the wind.

Adele: Cats aren’t into teams either, but Max, Roc, and I squabble just about every day. If I had hooves like yours, they’d both be dead.

Ex: You’re pretty tough for a fluffy white kitty. Remind me not to get on your bad side.

Adele: Just don’t step on my tail and you’ll be fine. You’re running again against two other horses I liked, Suddenbreakingnews from the Derby and Stradivari from the Preakness. If they were to place and show right behind you across that finish line, it would be my personal trifecta.

Ex: Thanks, Adele. I’m happy in post position 11, and they say I’m the favorite, so I’ll run this one for my feline fans. Keep your claws crossed!


The GOP Has Trumped Itself

June 8, 2016

By Karen

Paul Ryan abandoned integrity and decency when he caved to Donald Trump’s candidacy, losing the right to denounce any new outrage that comes out of Trump’s mouth. Trump has been vile since the very beginning, yet Republicans endorsed him anyway. What leverage do they have now to change him? None.

If Ryan, McConnell & Co. are willing to seize control of the White House using a nut job who hides his baldness under a ginger ferret and wears the rust from his own mental disintegration on his face, they will sink the GOP beyond redemption.

Under a President Trump, we might see mass deportations and internment camps (à la the Japanese during World War II) for anybody he finds offensive — Hispanics, blacks, Muslims, women, journalists, judges, fellow Republicans who oppose him. The world will be forced to live under the threat of nuclear war because he thinks the U.S. needs to lead by being more unpredictable.

Our legislative and judicial branches of government will have to devote themselves to keeping Trump from destroying the world. They’ll recall their years of relentless Obama obstructionism as the Gentle Times. Trump will use the presidency only to stroke his ego, while his supporters and the rest of us watch the country fall apart from his neglect.

It’s astounding that anybody can listen to Trump for five minutes and not see a tyrant in the making. No other presidential candidate in history has ever campaigned on a constant barrage of taunts and threats against everyone who crosses his field of vision.

I believe we’re seeing a man who stands on the brink of full-fledged dementia, and his staffers are keeping silent out of sheer terror. But if he loses, the truth will come out before Hillary’s inauguration.

Trump is the worst sort of mentally unstable, narcissistic opportunist, appealing to the worst in those he maniacally thinks will constitute a majority he can exploit. His followers are desperate for a messiah; they’re not picky about who it is. Every time Trump pulls off another unspeakable, hateful diatribe without facing any real consequences, they’re more convinced he’s larger than life. And if they help him get what he wants, he’ll eat their souls for breakfast and pick his teeth with their bones.

Trump is a wannabe despot who aspires to degrade, deport, torture, and nuke as many people as he can in his impossible quest to satisfy his insatiable insecurity. Behind all his bluster, he’s the ultimate no-class loser.

Donald Trump doesn’t want to make America great again. He wants to make America, and the world, his bitch — just to prove to himself that he’s man enough to do it.


Gorilla Mom Gets Off Scot-Free

June 7, 2016

By Adele

It comes as no surprise that no charges will be filed against the mother whose 3-year-old son climbed into the gorilla enclosure at the Cincinnati Zoo, causing an endangered silverback gorilla named Harambe to be shot to death.

Parents have circled the wagons yet again with a verdict that basically says, “Aw, she’s already suffered enough. Didn’t you hear how upset she sounded on the 911 call?” God forbid anyone should ever question a negligent parent’s competence or imply they could do better.

We learned from CBS This Morning that the mother visited the zoo with her son and three daughters, ages 1-7. She was with a friend who also had two children. So, two adults to watch six kids, including at least one infant.

The statement the mother’s family issued (quoted from CBS This Morning) said, in part…

“We are very pleased with the decision. It is what we expected.”

Of course it is. They go on their merry way while the zoo, which has never had a human breach its enclosures before, is now under investigation, and just sucks up its losses in its gorilla breeding program, not to mention the expense of reinforcing the barrier around the gorillas.

The tables turn to make this mother come off like the innocent victim of the zoo. At the very least, she should have been ordered to pay for the new barrier.

The mother was presented in court as a diligent parent whose child “just scampered off” while she turned away for a few seconds. It could happen to anybody, right?

Yes, it could, if you’re so stupid you pop out four kids in seven years, and then drag them to a place full of wild animals before they’re old enough to handle it.

Here’s my solution for these parents: Harnesses and leashes.

If your children can walk but don’t know how to behave in public, put them on leashes so they can drag you wherever they go. Then YOU can take responsibility for protecting them and stop expecting the world to do it for you.


No Justice for Harambe the Gorilla

June 2, 2016

By Adele

The sad end of Harambe the silverback gorilla is like Tatiana the tiger all over again. Humans behave with incredible stupidity and an innocent animal dies for it.

A 3-year-old boy visiting the Cincinnati Zoo wormed his way into the gorilla enclosure, where Harambe, a 17-year-old male found him, became excited, and was shot as he was dragging the child by his foot.

The boy suffered superficial injuries. Harambe is dead. And on the news this morning, we heard that the parents have decided not to sue the zoo. Indeed?

The zoo should not only sue the child’s mother, but she should also face criminal prosecution for reckless endangerment, or whatever they call not having the physical or mental equipment to keep your kids out of potentially deadly situations.

Witnesses reported the mother was debating the 3-year-old about climbing into the gorilla moat while being distracted by her other children.

The zoo says it did the right thing to shoot Harambe, and would do it again. But the zoo never should have been put in the position of having to sacrifice an animal they intended to breed to save his species from extinction. The mother should have rounded up her misbehaving litter and left the zoo immediately.

This isn’t just about Harambe. His death has implications for all his fellow gorillas and the breeding program. This Cosmopolitan article explains that.

When will people stop letting every ignorant, reckless parent who endangers or even kills a child get off with, “Oh, never mind. Nobody’s really to blame. She’s already suffered enough”?

I have no sympathy for that woman or her disobedient brat. He’s lucky to be alive. They both pushed safety precautions past their limits and absolutely NOTHING is being done to see that they don’t do it again somewhere else. Instead, the zoo is being investigated to see if can do better.

We’ll have to pad and wall off the whole planet so morons like this won’t hurt themselves.

When will parents ever face serious consequences for their inability to control or raise children with respect for animals, and it causes the animals’ destruction?


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