March 28, 2016
Since being on Weight Watchers®, I default to Lean Cuisine® or Smart Ones® frozen meals when I don’t feel like cooking. Anybody who eats these things knows they never quite look like the picture on the box. But my recent Atkins frozen meal took false advertising to a whole new level.
I tried Atkins because 1) I have a friend on a high-protein diet who says she’s flirting with size 6 and eats pork chops for lunch, and 2) the Atkins meals were on sale.
The Chicken Margherita pulled me in with this photo. By Weight Watchers standards, all that melted cheese qualifies as soft-core food porn…
But here’s what came out of the microwave…
As porn goes, it was the culinary equivalent of two hairy, sweaty people with dirty feet doing it doggy-style on stained sheets with rats running around the bed.
I’m embarrassed to admit I ate it anyway because I hate to waste food — even greasy red and green globs laced with chewy chunks — and that it cost me 11 WW Points Plus (out of my 26-point daily allotment).
Dr. Atkins’ stomach should be turning in his grave.
The cats got the last laugh when my dinner looked, smelled, and tasted (according to them) a lot worse than any canned food I’ve ever served them — including the many flavors of Fancy Feast® they hate.
And an hour later, I needed a sandwich.
March 2, 2016
OK, now you’ve seen my cute little splashy side. Let’s take a look at my inner beast.
Anyone would expect a kitten named Roc (as opposed to Dust Bunny or Fluffer Nutter) to be scrappy. I wasn’t here at Cats Working more than a few days before I decided to find out how far I could push Max, even though he was about 4 times my weight. What’s one life to a kitten with 8 more in his future?
Our first good bout when I was 3 months old ended in a draw…
But Max-wrestling instantly became my addiction (even more than jumping into the refrigerator every time Karen opens it). To practice my moves, I jump Max every chance I get. He doesn’t always appreciate it.
Our latest match-up was just a few weeks ago when I was 5 months old. We amped up the thrill factor by adding the possibility of the loser taking a 9-foot plunge off the balcony into the living room…
PS: Rest assured that nobody went over the edge. There may have been some slight ego-bruising, but no kitties were hurt during either filming.
March 1, 2016
Max and Adele disagreed on this because they hate getting wet, but I found the kitty fountain to be almost as fun as playing in the bathroom sink.
For the record, I was 4 months old and everything still seemed new when Karen shot this video. Today I’m 6 months old and my current project is to find out what makes Karen’s shower tick.