Maureen McDonnell Learns Karma’s a Bitch

By Adele

If you smell toast burning, it’s former Virginia governor Bob McDonnell and his wife Maureen as their corruption trial begins its third week.

We’ve heard from Jonnie Williams, the businessman at the center of it, who lavished cash and expensive gifts on the whole McDonnell family to buy endorsements for his tobacco-based dietary supplement, Anatabloc. Now Jonnie feels cheap and used.

We’ve also seen a parade of staffers who still seem to like Bob, but have nary a kind word for Virginia’s first lady.

Maureen’s been called a “nutbag” and a “screamer” who sometimes got so out of control, the governor’s security guys would come running to make sure Maureen wasn’t battering anybody.

She’s been accused of “insane ranting” when denied Williams’ gifts.

In pushing untested and unproven Anatabloc, Maureen went so far as to suggest to Ann Romney during the last presidential campaign that Anatabloc might cure her multiple sclerosis.

And Maureen was furious when she wasn’t given a paid directorship on Star Scientific’s board. She saw no conflict of interest.

The Richmond Times-Dispatch has been on top of things, compiling a list of the evidence. Pictures of our Governor Gone Wild (some probably taken by Maureen) are worth checking out.

Many testifying who worked closely with the McDonnells say they had no idea to what extent Williams was being bled until they read it in the paper last year. Even the former chairman of Star was stunned when Williams finally ‘fessed up about how he’d been trying to buy off the governor.

Jon Stewart recently did an hilarious, spot-on segment, “The Giving Spree,” that explains it all. You may think it’s over the top, but it’s all true. You can’t make this stuff up.

And in the most bizarre twist yet, Maureen’s defense lies in proving she was totally enamored with Jonnie — who denies an affair, or even that he knew Maureen had the hots for him. They’re claiming Maureen hated her husband Bob SO MUCH, there’s no way she would have conspired with him to milk Jonnie for all he was worth.

She’s already destroyed Bob’s once-promising national political career. Why not throw him under the bus and run him over a few times now?

Bob’s only hope may be a sympathetic jury who recognizes the real criminal. If they’re unable to send Maureen to jail because she wasn’t an elected official, they may let Bob walk because he’s already got time served — as that monster’s husband.

Impossible as it may seem, the McDonnells have made Eric Cantor’s douchebaggery seem bush league when it comes to humiliating Virginia.

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2 Responses to Maureen McDonnell Learns Karma’s a Bitch

  1. FAW says:

    Best outcome for ALL involved= HUNG JURY!! Would FEDERALES DARE do THIS ALL over??? I hope not…..

  2. Keri says:

    That last line will be a Cats Working classic. Cantor’s douchebaggery now “bush league.” I can’t stop laughing.

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