VOTE, or Maybe Not

By Cole

This is the last post I’ll write about this election. OK, maybe one more, but only if I get to gloat. I promise I won’t whine if Romney gets more votes. (I just can’t bring myself to call him a “winner.”)

Once again, we cats are forced to sit on the sidelines while the fate of our country lies in the hands of feckless humans, just because you have opposable thumbs.

But if cats could vote, I can tell you the only ones who’d be voting for Romney are pampered Persians with a sense of entitlement, and some Siamese who can’t see straight.

The Domestic Shorthairs, the nation’s most powerful feline contingent, which includes most strays and by far outnumbers purebreds, would be voting for the black cat.

So I hope everybody goes to the polls tomorrow to vote, UNLESS…

  • You haven’t watched at least 500 TV ads (if you live in a swing state) and rolled in that mud.
  • You didn’t bother to watch any of the debates, so you missed seeing Romney’s best flip-flops and outright lies.
  • You think the country needs a president who believes there’s magic in his underwear (and I’m not talking about what’s IN his underwear, which all men believe to be magical, but his actual shorts).
  • You think the country needs a first lady who’s more empty-headed than Laura Bush and has dedicated her life to breeding, either herself or through her offspring.
  • You want to see our Commander in Chief, through sheer tactlessness, totally piss off China, Russia, most of Europe, South America, and Africa.
  • You think the Middle East deserves a U.S./Israeli attack on Iran — just because it’s there.

In that case, you are too dumb to vote and you need to stay home watching the Cartoon Network. We’ll let you know how it turns out.

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15 Responses to VOTE, or Maybe Not

  1. Mauigirl says:

    Well said, Cole. Baxter agrees completely. And I say anyone who is undecided at this point shouldn’t vote either because they obviously do not understand the situation!

  2. catsworking says:

    Thank you, Mauigirl! Michael Moore’s tweeting his followers to bring 2 people who wouldn’t ordinarily vote to the polls tomorrow. Naturally, Moore followers tend to be Dems so it can only help Obama.

    But rather than having all these voter ID laws, we need to have voter IQ laws. You have to register a certain basic mastery of the issues before they let you cast a ballot. And I’m not talking about spouting party talking points that have no basis in fact.

    And politicians occasionally talk about term limits. I’d like to see campaign limits. No more than 6 months from start to finish, and the jerk who starts spouting off before then gets automatically disqualified.

    It’s like both of these guys have been TORTURING us for at least a year with the incessant ads and phone calls.

    Karen worked on the Obama campaign this past summer, and they were leaving her alone for a while, but the phone calls have started in force again, like they’re afraid she’s changed her mind just because she didn’t want to knock on doors and risk getting her head blown off by some redneck Romney nut with an assault weapon.

  3. MorganLF says:

    Internet phone and phone finally back, a week of no connectivity except my droid phone, the horror! Lost all power for a day and family members still without is this Beirut ?

    My brother’s in laws lost a beach front mansion, just split in half, but then when your second home is a 6 million dollar spread its hard to sympathize, besides I’m sure our tax dollars will contribute to the rebuild. When your house is a few hundred yards from the breakers what do you expect?

    Gas lines are tedious and getting around is tough with traffic lights out and downed trees and wires….and now a nor’easter is blowing through….But there is no global warming!!!

    Anywho, I voted.

  4. MorganLF says:

    Meant Internet phone and television were out..

  5. adele says:

    Cole, good for Virginia — maybe it was that work that Karen did which brought it home for us. Now the real work begins. I hope the Repubs can see that being obstructionist didn’t win big for them.

    Morgan, I have an elderly aunt and uncle in Tom’s River, who just got their power back. I feel for all of you East Coasters. Is there any place other than Red Cross to donate — I have given to them, but I didn’t feel they did a particularly good job after Katrina. Chris Matthews said tonight, before the election was called, “If Romney loses, the big guy in Jersey will have some ‘splainin’ to do.”

    I remember a time when weather in New York was more moderate than Chicago. It’s colder in NYC than in Chicago tonight, and there’ve been more blizzards out east than here in the past couple of years. But, as you say, climate change is just a myth.

    Barack has his work cut out for him on so many levels.

  6. catsworking says:

    Morgan, we were hoping you’d check in and were worried that you’d gotten hit with the brunt of Sandy. (Funny thing is, Karen has an aunt named Sandy who’s also a destructive bag of wind. She got her ass handed to her last night when Obama won. Sweet.)

    After seeing the devastation of the shoreline in NJ, you have to wonder if people will be allowed to rebuild so close to the water again. They do the same thing in NC every time a hurricane flattens the Outer Banks.

    Karen likes to go around quoting some environmental biology professor she once had, who said, “The ocean always wins.” It’s the only thing she remembers from taking the class, except he also said that people complaining about chemicals in their food is BS because EVERYTHING is composed of chemicals.

  7. catsworking says:

    Adele, Virginia did good (except in our county, where Romney and Allen won by about 12,000 votes), but we failed to rid ourselves of Eric Cantor. Smarmy little bastard has gerrymandered the hell out of his turf to ensure his ill-gotten victories.

    Let’s just hope in Obama’s second term, now that the goal of making him a “one-term president” is moot, Cantor’s peevish obstructionism will be seen as just that and Boner will finally tell him to STFU.

  8. adele says:

    Andrew O’Heir, wrote an article for Salon called “Fox’s Dark Night of the Soul;” it was pretty funny. I tried to send it, but Salon has a new system,and I couldn’t. As we know, I’m pretty much a Luddite.

    Mitch McConnell sure doesn’t sound conciliatory, and Ryan retained his seat in Wisconsin.

    It was my fear that if Romney were elected, the clock would be turned back on womens’ rights, civil rights and battles we thought we won. And I’m usually very cynical about politics. But even though they rioted at Ol’ Miss after Barack’s win was announced, I found myself thinking, “We do have a Black president, several states now allow same-sex marriage, and the Chicago crowd really was a melting pot ;maybe some of the seeds of the 1960’s and ’70’s really did take hold.” Now if only we could get this war stuff under control . . .

  9. catsworking says:

    Adele, at least we can be sure that Obama isn’t going to go off half-cocked and start bombing Iran. I can’t tell you what a HUGE sense of relief we all feel to know that the country is out of that robot’s clutches.

    And Akin and Murdourk (sp?) lost their elections after shooting off their ignorant mouths about rape, so women sent a nice message to the GOP to lay off that stuff.

    Fox is saying Obama doesn’t have a “mandate” because the election was so close. I’m seeing a clear mandate. The forces of bigotry, misogyny, and stupidity lost (yes, Palin and the Tea Party, I’m looking at you). Obama doesn’t have to worry about any more elections, so he can get down and dirty with the Republicans and MAYBE get some good stuff done.

  10. MorganLF says:

    Adele I’m not sure of any other places to contribute other than Red Cross….your relatives In Toms river were in a hard hit area but unless they are on the water the house should be ok, but they were without power a long time.

    Now we’re are in a snow storm….I’m sitting in fear of losing power again and it’s 32 degrees.

    The lack of gas is mind boggling….thankfully I work nearby . People are standing in hours long lines with gas cans for generators. It’s like a third world country.

    While home I had a radio and listened to that oozing pus bag Limbaugh castigating Gov Christie for extending a welcome embrace to Obama when he toured the state, then that fuck knuckle Sean Hannity piles on….WTF??? Should Christie just have turned his back on the President while his state devastated ( by a non global,warming event) just writhes in misery,while that fat pill pooping disgrace sits like a pasha in his Florida palace?

    Of fuck em …..they lost AGAIN , Nyah, Nyah , Nyah. You republican aholes you have a black president again!

  11. adele says:

    Fuck knuckle . . .another delightful term from the MorganLF lexicon.

  12. Zappa's Mom says:

    Morgan,Morgan,Morgan…..”fuck knuckle”????…..I forgot what I was going to post because I can’t stop laughing

  13. Gizmo's mom says:

    oozing pus bag and fuck knuckle.. it doesn’t get any better! You should check out the show The Thick of It,,, it’s a British political show right now only available on Hulu (current season) but soon to be on BBC America. They have THE most inventive hilarious swearing anywhere. I think you can get a lot of it on youtube also

  14. catsworking says:

    Fuck knuckle! I love it!

    Much as Chris Christie comes across as a pompous gasbag, he did exactly the right thing during the storm (which he no doubt expects to earn Brownie points for if he decides to run in 2016). He even turned down a date to campaign with Romney in PA while people in NJ were waist-deep in water and darkness, with their homes in splinters around them. What a traitor to the GOP!

    Yes, it is lovely to know that LimPaw and Hannity, and all the GOP have to deal with the black cat for another 4 years. That’s what happens when the best you can muster for candidates are a lie-spouting android and Eddie Munster.

  15. catsworking says:

    GM, will have to check that out… Thanks!

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