GOP Convention: A Confederacy of Dunces

By Cole

The glassy-eyed, brain-dead fanatics on the floor of the Republican convention fascinate me. To see them gobble every crumb of verbal crap dispensed from the podium is like watching lemmings wolf down a last meal before they go off a cliff.

They have no idea that every one of them who isn’t a white male millionaire is in for a royal screwing if they get their wish and Romney wins.

In a cynical attempt to seem inclusive that fooled nobody, the GOP assigned U.S. possessions like Puerto Rico, the Virgin Islands, and American Samoa prime seats because their delegations look racially diverse — even though THEIR VOTES DON’T COUNT.

Ann Romney got to address the 32 percent of voters who, in a CBS News poll, claim they don’t know Mitt enough to form an opinion. She delivered a brilliant speech that made her fellow Stepford Wives mist over, and we learned that Mitt was a cutie in high school, but virtually nothing of substance beyond that.

To listen to Ann’s litany of lovingly empty claims…

  • Mitt loves his country (but not enough to stop dodging taxes)
  • Mitt won’t let you down (unless he does — he’s prone to change his mind a lot)
  • Mitt will get the job done (if he doesn’t eliminate or outsource it)

…was to stuff cotton candy in your ears.

New Jersey Governor Chris Christie’s keynote address showcased him to the country as a pompous gasbag with life-threatening eating issues who probably won’t survive to run for president in 2020 if Romney wins and serves 2 terms.

They’re saying Condoleezza Rice’s rousing speech — and the only one to acknowledge the importance of education — will win her a seat in Romney’s cabinet. Let’s hope it’s his china cabinet back at Lake Winnipesaukee.

ALL of them have erased the George W. Bush years off the slate. They’re in total denial that the ruinous ideology Bush lived by, and they still embrace, started this country’s flush down the toilet.

And then they have the bloody nerve to accuse Obama of failing to stop it when all they want to do is KEEP FLUSHING.

But by far, the whopper topper was Paul Ryan’s Obama-bashing marathon. It was so jam-packed with deceit and deception, Karen could barely stop screaming at the TV. I won’t rehash it because a Fox News writer named Sally Kohn did it so well.

You know your lies have jumped the shark when even Faux News is crying foul.

From now until election day, the Republican strategy is to continue repeating the same thoroughly discredited lies (such as, Obama has eliminated the work requirement from welfare) and hope enough stupid, unquestioning voters believe them.

Tonight Romney’s got to pull off the grand deception of seeming like a credible, affable, empathetic, and competent man with a plan.

After his department-store-dummy reaction while Chris Christie was heaping praise on him like whipped cream on a banana split, I don’t think Romney’s got a prayer — or a clue.

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17 Responses to GOP Convention: A Confederacy of Dunces

  1. adele says:

    Cole, I heard on NPR,today, that an African-American CNN reporter was pelted with peanuts by a couple of members of one of the delegations, who yelled at her, ” This is how you feed animals.”

    So Marco Rubio told us about himself, Mitt gave a speech completely devoid of content (except for a little war mongering about Iran), and wasn’t Mitt’s face curiously smooth? Either he uses a lot of injectibles, like botox and restaline, or he has the smooth face of someone, who’s never had an original thought and is convinced of his salvation.

    But Clint Eastwood! The MSNBC gang says that his shtick was actually scripted, but short of incipient Alzheimer’s, I’m wondering if it’s possible that the whole performance was an attempt at sabotage

  2. Bacardi1 says:

    Bravo Cole!

    And that’s from someone who did not watch, does not watch, & will not watch (or listen to) any of the political drivel thrown around in an election year. There are far more important & intelligent things to watch on tv – like Looney Tunes. . . .

  3. catsworking says:

    Adele, I hadn’t heard that about the peanuts, but it’s not surprising. I know they hate to hear it, but we all know a lot of their current thinking has its roots in racism.

    Unfortunately, we missed Mitt’s speech last night because Karen got totally fed up with Rubio. When he showed no sign of turning off his empty platitude spigot at 10:35, she shut off the TV and said something I won’t repeat.

    We did get to see Clint. There’s no way his schtick was ad libbed because you could clearly tell when he fluffed a line and caught himself. One example was how he screwed up the punchline of, “I can’t tell Mitt to do that to himself.” I can’t imagine what they were thinking to trot him out before Mitt. Andrea Mitchell and Brian Williams were speechless when it was all over. Andrea just kept repeating, “Strange.”

    Mitt’s curiously smooth face is one of the reasons I firmly believe he sleeps in a bed with a lid on it. The undead need no Botox.

    Let’s just keep our fingers crossed that the Democrats go for the throat and totally shred the empty bullshit the Republicans have subjected us all to (except Bacardi!) this week. It shouldn’t be hard to do.

  4. adele says:

    I was watching MSNBC last night, and after Clint’s act, Rachel Maddow said something like, “That’s the strangest thing I’ve ever seen at a convention, and if I live to be 100, it will still be the strangest thing I’ve ever seen. The looks on the faces of the MSNBC panel were priceless.

  5. catsworking says:

    The organizers would have done just as well to hang a big effigy of Obama as a pinata in the middle of the hall and let the delegates go at him.

    Clint helped them hit a new low when it came to childish sniping. You’d think they were cats!

  6. MorganLF says:

    I could not watch the tithing tax evader last night either. I have been having back problems and knew that screaming at the TV another night, would cause too much tension.

    Was I right about fatso-fats Christie? Hard hitting? Funny? He’s a fat ultra rich former lobbyist that lives in a castle in a very upscale area and caters to the wealthy like the insincere toady he really is. Clearly he has no discipline, look at him. For a man who is the poster boy for the right don’t you think he could skip a meal or two?

    Ann Romney is practised, polished and as botoxed as Mitt. BTW what the f’does that stand for?? Maybe we should ask his siblings Muff and Gauntlet.

    I am surprised they haven’t trotted out a minstrel show in black face along with hurling watermelons at an effigy of Obama for sport….welll they probably are keeping that fun behind the scenes.

    As for teh financial dilemma….has everyone forrgotten that the Chraast loving dodo Bush declared war and cut taxes at the same time? Its never been done in history and do you not think that may have contributed a tad to the deficit?????????

  7. catsworking says:

    Morgan, sorry to hear about your back problems, but we are glad to have you back!

    What I don’t understand is how Christie EVER got elected in NJ and Romney in Mass. Did all the voters lose their freaking minds?

    Funny you should ask about what “Mitt” stands for. I was just checking into that. It’s his middle name (Willard is his first name–you know, after the movie about rats). Mitt’s not an abbreviation. It stands for nothing. Which is probably why he prefers to use it. It’s so descriptive.

    Do you think it’s coincidence that he gave his son a Palinesque named like Tagg? And then went on to name the rest of his boys Tick, Cockroach, Flea, and Chigger. And among them they have hatched 18 offspring — so far.

    The selective memory of Republicans is truly astounding. From the convention, you’d think their sainted George W. Bush never EXISTED. They held him up as a paragon of virtue and accomplishment compared to Bill Clinton, now they’ve swept him so far under the rug, it’s a wonder he doesn’t suffocate. And at the same time, keep spouting the SAME stupid ideas he had that sent the country into this downward spiral.

    Yet Clinton will have a prominent spot at the Dem convention. Yes, he disgraced himself with his philandering, but Democrats aren’t throwing the baby out with the bathwater.

    And you can bet they won’t be propping some doddering, senile old liberal up there to babble shit at a chair and make them all look like total fools.

  8. MorganLF says:

    We just had another assault weapon related murder in New jersey. Two kids (18 & 24) were killed by an nut toting an AK 47 who then thankfully killed himself.

    Republicans thank you for the letting Clinton’s assault weapon ban sunset (expire). We all NEED flesh tearing murdering machines, thank you again NRA supporting tea party douche bags. Don’t let any of us lefty liberal, socialist trample your rights, stick to your guns!

    Willard and that old wrinkly disgraziad witch of Eastwood will make SURE we continue to have the right to shred each other in such an efficient manner. God forbid we enforce a ban, then all those nasty ghetto nigras will come after us with their cache of weapons they have been stockpiling . When last I drove through the seamier side of town I saw them all toting assault weapons, they thought I didn’t notice but I did.

    I actually had a co worker tell me yesterday that if we ban assault weapons it won’t work because the bad guys will still have access, he’s 62 and raised children. How can anyone so stupid exist? He has no concept of the difference between guns and assault weapons.

    Paul Ryan is so engulfed with preserving “life” no abortion, ever… Wouldn’t banning the sales of assault weapons be considered life preserving?

    Maybe I’m just stupid.

  9. catsworking says:

    Morgan, it’s just another shining example of the total disconnect between the Republicans’ brains and their mouths. They want every fetus to survive so it can grow up to be mowed down in the street by an AK-47.

    I just started a shit-storm within a coven of mental throwbacks in my family who live in Massachusetts. One of them was circulating this outrageous, obviously cobbled-together “video” of Obama confessing in speech before a group that he’s not really an American. It was like an audio/visual phony ransom note cut from magazines.

    Something about it just set me off, and I hit Reply All to this person’s mailing list (who has been spamming me with this kind of shit for years, but I usually just delete it), saying if they were so gullible as to believe such an obvious nonsense, they deserve to be stripped of their voting rights.

    Well, these “relatives” I haven’t seen in 40 years circled the wagons and went all Soprano on me. One wrote a sarcastic rant about Obama being the “Messiah.” Another one told me I’m persona non grata from now on. if I ever need them, they won’t be there for me, yada, yada, yada.

    I couldn’t begin to identify any one of these fuckers in a line-up, let alone turn to them in a pinch. But still, it was shocking to realize I’ve got first cousins who are neocon brainwash cases. In MASSACHUSETTS. Now I have some idea how Romney won.

  10. MorganLF says:

    Now that’s a story! I have done that too. My friends for the most part have devolved into radical tea party right wing nuts. How? I can’t begin to say. I was always of the same political inclinations as I am now. I have known these people for 45 years ….

    When a friends brother kept forwarding hate filled prevarication laced emails about Obama last election I finally snapped and did the reply thing and line by line debunked the myths and misstatements. I have known this man since he was ten and a heated repartee ensued. I could not believe how rabid this once sweet kid was. It resulted in us not speaking ever again, who cares I take great issue with his careless slander and wish to never speak with him anyway. He invoked the god father rule that whenever I was visiting his sister he wanted to know in advance so he could avoid me. A rude and cruel thing to say and darn near ruined a lifelong friendship.

    My friend and I didn’t speak for a summer. I blocked her brothers emails and he me. He was so venomous that to this day I am insulted.

    Ultimately my friend and I got past it. In fact you’ve met her a few times.

    The fierceness of their loathing for Obama is consuming the Republicans. I just can’t wait till my Billy speaks at the democratic convention, that will make all these neo cons go positively screwy!

    As for your “relatives” fuck them and you are correct now we know how Romney carpet bagged his way into the governors mansion, in Massachusetts appaantly ther a bunch of simpletons there too.

  11. adele says:

    I haven’t spoken to my brother since before the 2008 presidential election.. He’s been a Rush Limbaugh listening conservative for years, and I put up with it, since there’s just my brother, my sister and me left. Something about Obama’s nomination made him snap, and he started sending me hate-filled racist screed. I told him to stop; he didn’t; I sent him an email telling him that I couldn’t believe that he and I had ever been in the same uterus, because our mother was many things, but not a racist and supported me in every demonstration or action I ever attended. He sent one final picture of Obama shining Sarah Palin’s shoes — I sent an email telling him that I’d never speak to him again, and I haven’t.

    You’re well rid of the cousins, Karen; how do people get like that? And short of bringing down a T-Rex, why should any non military persons have assault weapons? It just seems so obvious.

    I’m choosing to think, along with Bill Maher, that the difference in people is a genetic mutation. Chimps and binobos are the same species, save for one (I think) chromosome. Chimps are aggressive, have wars and must have a head chimp in their colonies, binobos are democratic, non aggressive, share with others and screw their brains out.

  12. Jessica says:

    All of the hate that has seemingly appeared since Obama’s election reminds me of Camus’ The Plague. Seeds of the plague are always hiding somewhere, just waiting for the right moment to infect people.

    The hate and racism that is presented as political thought from some of the more right leaning Republicans and the entire Tea Party are just that… signs of infection.

  13. kkh says:

    ya mitt probably doesnt have a chance, since a lot of the same people who never voted in their lives (or even cared about politics) will come out in droves again and get him re-elected. u know, the ones who voted for him because he was “cool”. a reporter actually asked a number of people who voted for obama who he was before he ran for president, and a good portion of them had no idea he was a senator from illinois. they were clueless but voted for him because he was “cooler” than john mccain. god help me but im gonna vote for mitt because he isnt obama. i would vote for the guy across the street from me if he ran against obama. and before u stereotype me, i am not a conservative republican, and i actually voted for obama the first time. wont make that mistake again. it wont matter though. god help our country after four more years like the last four. and i just dont believe being a republican automatically means u are a racist hatemonger. jesus, the liberals are supposed to be so “tolerant” yet they are tolerant only of those who are also liberal. a straight, white, conservative male is seen as something evil. why?

  14. kkh says:

    get *obama* re-elected that is…

  15. kkh says:

    i mean saying things like “they want every fetus to survive so it can grow up and be mowed down in the street by an AK-47″…..really? yea, the “tolerant” party….

  16. catsworking says:

    Welcome, kkh. Yes, you’re right on some things. In 2008, Obama got the kids excited and they plugged in to politics for the first time and voted. McCain failed to do as much, even with the cagey selection of a foxy young running mate. So that makes Obama a bad guy?

    There is no denying that Bush II sent the country into the downward spiral Obama is trying to stop. Bush had 8 years to fuck everything up. Obama has had 3 to fix it. So that makes Obama incompetent?

    Mitt & Co. want to UNDO every bit of progress Obama has made, and go back to doing things the way Bush did them. Namely, screw everybody but millionaires, Wall St., and big corporations. They want to repeal the Affordable Care Act, but have offered NOT ONE idea for what they’ll replace it with. Insurance companies will once again be allowed to run amok, denying claims, canceling coverage when someone gets sick, cherry-picking the healthiest customers, excluding pre-existing conditions, and jacking premiums sky-high just because an insured has a birthday. I’m guessing you’ve never had to deal with the individual insurance market.

    And as for the charge that Democrats are intolerant, one need only read the Republican platform to see where the intolerance lies. Republicans want government to stay out of people’s lives, yet feel perfectly justified in crawling into women’s vaginas to legislate their pregnancies. They want all babies born, but have NO PLAN for what to do with them once they arrive. Republicans live in a fantasy world where everybody’s white, straight, rich, gainfully employed with no chance of layoff ever, and women look up to men as their masters in all things.

    Republicans love to accuse Democrats of intolerance whenever we dare to question their greed and selfishness.

    If you’re feeling so sure that your life and those of all your family and friends will always be perfect (no layoffs/unemployment, no financial difficulties/bankruptcies, no unplanned pregnancies, no accidents, no natural disasters destroying homes, no serious illness) and you’ll always be able to take care of yourselves (without Social Security and Medicare — because you’d never want to become a lazy government mooch) go ahead and vote Republican. You certainly won’t need any safety nets, so why not yank them out from everybody else, too.

  17. MorganLF says:

    Well said Catsworking….even I can’t embellish on that.

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