Cheney Shoots Everybody in the Face

By Cole

Since he left Washington, former vice president Dick Cheney has been festering in one of his undisclosed locations, composing his memoir, In My Time, a vindictive payback to everybody he thinks has ever wronged him.

Today the book is #1 at (the reader reviews are worth a look). Cheney’s been making the talk show rounds, trying to whip wacko neocons into a reading frenzy so he can supplement his $132K a year from the government and $30 million retirement package from Halliburton with some juicy royalties. (Speculation was that his book advance was around $2 million.)

Cheney spares nobody. He trashes Condoleezza Rice by describing her as naïve and “tearful,” and declares that Colin Powell’s resignation was “for the best,” among other insults.

Powell responded on Face the Nation that Cheney stooped to a lot of “cheap shots,” and by boasting to NBC that “there are gonna be heads exploding all over Washington” over revelations in the book, Cheney “overshot the runway.”

Cheney even flat-out contradicts scenes from George Bush’s memoir. According to Cheney, before Bush was ever the “Decider” on important matters, he checked with Cheney first.

Obviously, Cheney relishes memories of himself as the puppet master.

What the book really reveals, in Cheney’s own words, is that he is a soulless, heartless (literally — he runs on batteries) being (to call him “human” is too kind), capable of unfathomable coldness and cruelty.

On talk shows, he invariably wears that infuriating crooked smirk while reiterating his love for waterboarding and other tortures, and his staunch belief that he was the only one who was ever right. Everybody else was a liar or an idiot. 

And now his pure evil has been forever enshrined in print. I only hope that once his hard-core nut base is exhausted, book sales plummet and Cheney slithers back into his black hole and stays there until his pump fails.

BONUS: An interesting recap of a series of Cheney interviews. Makes you wonder how the guy managed to produce 500+ pages.

14 Responses to Cheney Shoots Everybody in the Face

  1. jimmie chew says:

    did he check with Bush first?

  2. Imabear says:

    The man is a waste of oxygen.

  3. MorganLF says:

    Dangerous, dangerous, dude. The permanent smirk, the FIVE draft deferments, but no problems sending our sons, brothers, and fathers to an illegal war that his company profiteered from.

    Evil like that will be bound in chains to walk in torture for eternity. I put him right up there with Saddam and Bin Laden. War criminal. So sure of himself while he manipulated that bumbling drunk, service avoiding, frat boy in the White House Dubya.

  4. catsworking says:

    I hate to see everybody making a fuss over him just because he published a book. No decent person should have anything to do with him. In fact, he should be on trial for war crimes. He has so much blood on his hands, he should feel right at home when he finally meets Saddam and bin Laden.

  5. Britta says:

    Having spent years in political environments, I have witnessed that chickens do come to roost. While paybacks don’t always happen as we would like in terms of immediate gratification, they do occur. That old adage “reap what you sow” isn’t without foundation. So, however difficult, sit back and watch. Dick will find his just rewards. Moore cats are convinced of it.

  6. Gizmo's mom says:

    Wish I could believe you, Britta, but this anti-christ has lived too long and been saved by modern medicine too many times to think anything other than that he’s made a deal with the devil who continues to protect him.

    I watched the last bit of his interview with Jamie Gangel (sp?) on NBC and when he took the batteries out of his heart gizmo i SOOOO would have loved to have reached over and smacked it out of his hand and left him there to die in the sun. Sigh. Good times.

  7. adele says:

    Apparently Cheney’s spawn, Elizabeth, had a lot to do with writing this book. Gizmo’s mom, you’re exactly right; I believe Cheney is one of the undead — or as my mother used to say, “too mean to die.”

    Cole, if you haven’t seen it yet, I recommend Maureen Dowd’s piece on the ol’war criminal in Sunday’s NY Times.

  8. Every time a bell rings, Cheney rips the wings off an angel. He really has had a “miserable life” and I hope that it’s over soon. If Oprah really is the whore of Babylon, the anti-Christ she preceded is definitely Dick Cheney! (Of course, it could be Rick Perry. His Prayer Breakfast buddies might’ve been off by 4 years).

  9. catsworking says:

    The responses from Cheney’s victims are starting to roll in, but Donald Trump’s was the best (and I don’t think Cheney mentioned him). Here’s his video:

    He says he doesn’t like a guy who “rats out” everybody. Spoken like a true cat!

    Cheney was very short-sighted in his revenge because now his family won’t be able to find six people willing to carry the bastard’s casket. On the other hand, they may be able to draw a huge audience for a televised cremation on the Mall.

    Now that he’s safely finished with politics and unable to hurt anybody anymore, you gotta admit that George Bush is basically an inoffensive goof whose continual gaffes must keep everyone around him in stitches. How creepy it must have been for him to have that Machiavellian weasel breathing down his neck for 8 years, knowing his Daddy hand-picked the guy. Sure, Cheney claims he had a resignation letter ready to go at any minute, but there’s no way Bush could have accepted it, as much as he might have wanted to.

  10. Jessica says:

    For once Donald Trump has something to say that is worth listening to!

  11. Zappa says:

    Cheney’s daughter,Elizabeth,….the lesbian?

  12. adele says:

    ZM, Mary Cheney is D.C.’s lesbian daughter. I think she had a kid a couple of years ago and may have married some place where it was legal to do so.

    Liz was kind of a media fixture for awhile — her father’s very staunch defender.

  13. Britta says:

    Okay, final analysis, rat calling rats rats. Gizmo’s Mom, I know from where you speak and I do so appreciate your vision of battery disconnect. I still am dug in that he will receive his just rewards. So let him make some money from the idiots who actually buy his book but in the long run, he is as lame as lame can be.

    This is a last dying breath of effort and as an opportunist, he knows it and and is taking financial advantage. I do reflect on the NPR interview I listened to last weekend which featured Mr.Clinton. In his world, things have certainly changed. While he garners far more speaking engagements than Mr. Cheney, his humility, by virtue of his wife’s stature, has surely increased. None of us know what happens behind closed doors but I am willing to bet that some high-profile political figures have definitely received their just rewards and penances.

  14. catsworking says:

    Britta, whenever we hear Bill Clinton talking now, we are always amazed by how smart and empathetic he is. (Obama is smart, but seems to be lacking the empathy gene — or maybe just the ability to show his feelings.) Clinton always that way, but when he was president nobody wanted to listen to him, or said he just talked too much.

    I think Clinton’s brush with mortality (heart problems) made him a kinder, gentler person. Cheney just got delusions about his own invincibility.

    And look at their kids. Chelsea Clinton turned out fine, in spite of Bill’s philandering and the press relentlessly making fun of her when she was in the White House (OK, we’ve done some of that here, too, by saying she could learn from Bindi Irwin. Guilty as charged.).

    Cheney’s got one lesbian (not that there’s anything wrong with that, unless your father happens to be someone who publicly scorns them), and one who spews neocon idiocy just like dear old Dad.

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