Animal Planet Declares War on Housecats

By Cole

Bill O’Reilly’s upset about Norway’s mass murderer being called a “Christian” extremist? How would he like it if a network portrayed certain members of his species as psychos out to destroy people’s quality of life?

Oh, wait. I just described Fox News’ position on Democrats.

Anyway, Animal Planet undoubtedly hates housecats.

First, it was My Cat From Hell.

In this short-lived series, cats reacting predictably to inappropriate conditions forced upon them by people who think cats are furry knickknacks were filmed behaving “badly.” Then this tattooed dude named Jason Galaxy would come in, move litterboxes, recommend perches, toys, beds, and scratching posts, and everyone would live happily ever after.

Voila! The cat was “cured.”

Apparently that didn’t go far enough. Along came Help! I’m Becoming a Cat Lady. Apparently, it’s a one-off because it’s not listed on Animal Planet’s website.

But PopWatch loved it.

In this travesty, a single woman with two cats is painted as a walking dating disaster, and it’s all the cats’ fault. The premise is that it’s wrong to lavish too much affection on your cats.

This “fixer” named Alyson comes in to hide all traces of the cats by moving the litterbox and kitty perch (granted, the litterbox in the dining room was ICK).

The woman is taught to wear butt-hugging jeans and flirt so she can attract someone who will hog her blankets, leave her toilet seat up, commandeer her remote and, if things “work out,” double her laundry and dishwashing.

Furthermore, he’ll always want to know where she’s going, when she’ll be back, and what’s for dinner every night.

And this is supposed to be better than living with cats?

Not to mention that most guys are dog people, so if the “reformed” woman thinks she’s found a keeper, she shouldn’t be surprised when he lays down the ultimatum, “It’s me or the cats.”

The whole point of the show is to marginalize cats so people can find f**k-buddies.

To that I say, f**k YOU, Animal Planet!

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8 Responses to Animal Planet Declares War on Housecats

  1. Noel McWormald says:

    Very feisty, Cats Working correspondent Cole. There are a few things you didn’t mention. OCCASIONALLY I wonder what life would be like with a second income. Married friends make decisions all the time that blow my mind… “Oh, I’m sick of my job. I’m going to quit and go freelance.” Or “My car is in the shop. I have my husband’s car. He rode to work with a friend.” Or, and this is the big one, “my husband and I are going to a wedding (or funeral) tomorrow.” I’m sure there are a few others, but those are the main reasons to marry that I can think of. Animal Planet making a SHOW out of “cat women” who need to hide their cats in shame is pretty ridiculous. A few years back one of my students asked me if I was married. I said, “No” and her response was, “Oh, so you’re one of those crazy cat ladies,” which was HORRIFIC until I learned that this girl also wanted to get cats instead of a man and become a “crazy cat lady” too! I was to be her role model. Animal Planet should be ashamed of itself nonetheless. Vivre et laisser vivre!

  2. Imabear says:

    Sounds like AP is being sexist. You never hear about “crazy ___ men”, yet plenty of single men have pets. Heck, I thought I was an pet spoiler until I met my husband. He takes spoiling our cats to a whole new level. If we ever split and divide custody of our cats, why won’t he be a “crazy cat man”?????

  3. catsworking says:

    Noel, I didn’t mention that Alyson’s sidekick was some gay fashionista who went through the woman’s closet and made her THROW AWAY her favorite leopard-print blouse!

    I’ll tell you, that show had us all hissing and stomping around with our tails in a fluff.

  4. adele says:

    Cole, Alice and I watched a couple of episodes of “My Cat from Hell” and were totally offended. But apparently in an attempt to be “fair and balanced” AP also had a show called “Must Love Cats,” where some goofy guy took us around the country to meet interesting and talented cats. The problem was that he was always making up little songs and singing to the cats, He even played along with a kitty orchestra.

    Apropos of nothing, some friends were over for dinner last night and mentions a web site called “Cats Who Look Like Hitler.” One of my guests looked it up on his IPhone, and I must say there was a picture of one poor cat,who did look disturbingly like Hitler. There’s even a site called “Buildings Who Look Like Hitler.

  5. catsworking says:

    Adele, we’ve seen Must Love Cats once or twice and consider it a token gesture of appeasement by Animal Planet. The damange is done. Every time they show kitties in a bad light, they reinforce the beliefs of untold numbers of cat-haters.

    We visited the site of cats who look like Hitler a long time ago and are surprised it’s still out there. I bet cats who look like Hitler have just as hard a time being adopted from shelters as black cats, unless they’re adopted as a joke so they can have their pictures plastered all over sites like Cats Who Look Like Hitler.

    The only thing that makes me feel any better is looking at sites that feature big ugly dogs wearing frilly outfits and booties. It’s like kitty porn.

  6. catsworking says:

    Imabear, good point. How about guys who get big ugly dogs who look just like them and take them everywhere? Are they “crazy dog men?” Hell, no.

    It’s totally sexist for women to be labeled in such a demeaning way because they appreciate the grace, elegance, and intelligence of cats and prefer our company to that of smelly, burping, farting men.

  7. Zappa's mom says:

    No gay man would ever throw away leopard print ANYTHING! In recent history,there was a two-legged waste of my time that actually said”I think you care about that cat more than you do me!” What a douche.

    ZM

  8. catsworking says:

    Karen considers our reaction to any man who enters the house a good barometer or whether or not he’s a keeper because we’re virtually infallible in the long run.

    If the guy is here for a while and none of us makes an appearance to check him out, that’s a big red flag. If he says anything catty about the 2 kitty perches or the cat toys strewn all over the living room, ditto. If he makes it as far as the bedroom and has a problem sharing it with us, he’s had his last sleepover here.

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