Trump vs. Obama

By Yul

The mouth-breathing birthers can remove their tin-foil hats now. Obama’s signed birth certificate is out there, and the family of his doctor (now deceased) has verified the doctor’s signature.

Donald Trump wasted no time taking all the credit, “proud” and “honored” that he succeeded in bringing this to light, naming the Clintons as some of those who “failed” previously.

Funny, I don’t recall Bill ever fretting over Obama’s citizenship, nor Hillary courting votes from the right-wing nut fringe.

Also funny that the “people” Trump claimed he had snooping in Hawaii also failed to unearth the paperwork, with Trump’s riches available for bribes and such.

Obama kindly alluded to the billionaire buffoon as a “carnival barker” who’s distracting the country with “silly” issues.

But Trump’s already a step ahead. Now he claims that Obama faked his way through Columbia and Harvard (graduating magna cum laude from Harvard notwithstanding) and Trump wants to see transcripts.

I say, if Donald Trump is so keen on full disclosure, let’s start with the top of his head.

How can anybody take the man’s tough talk seriously when he can’t bear to face his own reflection? Does he really think he’ll restore America’s glory when nobody can look at his “crowning glory” and keep a straight face?

It’s ironic that such a colossal windbag lives in eternal dread of sudden gusts. I guess it’s a given that, as president, he’d never champion wind energy (“I said, NO photo ops of POTUS with windmills!”)

President Trump would always be surrounded by a platoon of goons to keep photographers from getting behind him and blowing his cover. Literally.

My theory: What’s on top is actually coming up from his collar, growing from his back.

Trump’s been doing a live job interview with voters on Celebrity Apprentice, demonstrating his macho, convoluted logic in discarding good people, and how he relishes the use of fear to maintain his façade of authority.

I wouldn’t trust Trump to scoop my litterbox.


10 Responses to Trump vs. Obama

  1. Anne says:

    Trump is such a horse’s ass! Can’t he see what a jerk he is? I’d better be careful about the horse’e ass remark lest all the horses get mad and gang up on me. THEY know when they are being insulted!

  2. adele says:

    Yul, good to see you blogging and in such fine form. And I think you’ve answered a question that’s puzzled me for years.I never could figure out how The Donald achieved that halacious combover, but I think you’ve nailed it — all the hair from his back and the back of his head is combed forward. Now that I think of it, I can’t recall seeing many pictures of him in anything but high collard dress shirts.

  3. catsworking says:

    Welcome, Anne!

    You’re right about those horse’s ass statements. The Kentucky Derby is right around the corner, so you don’t want to get on the horses’ bad side if you’re placing any bets. 😉

  4. catsworking says:

    Adele, think about it. You’ve probably never seen Trump in a bathing suit, nor the back of his head.

    He’s going on and on about Obama’s bona fides when anybody who manages to get behind Trump can clearly see what a big phony he is. He probably has hairy toes. Maybe even webbed. Have we ever seen him in sandals…?

    Time magazine recently did a graphic of how to style your hair like Trump’s. They combed it all forward (not specifying where it comes from), then had the top fold over backward and to the side (making a double layer of hair), combed the sides back, and topped it with enough hair spray to deplete the ozone layer.

  5. cheray smith says:

    Why does anyone give this windbag media coverage when he seldom comments on serious issues? Instead he makes lots of noise about trivial matters, which serve as a smokescreen to mask his true ignorance.

    He should stick to that “celebrity” show of his where he can showcase his bullying talents. If he could run for bully of the year, he’d win hands down.

    ENOUGH of Trump the Buffoon – there are far more serious matters in this world to discuss!!!

  6. MorganLF says:

    What a just-spell-my-name-right publicity whore douche!! DOES ANYONE FIND HIM RELEVANT???

  7. catsworking says:

    I loved when Trump said that he’d like to personally see the birth certificate and “hoped” the signatures are authentic. Like he could tell.

    I just hope the Sarah Palin nitwits aren’t in the market for a new savior and latch on to him.

  8. zappa says:

    I hate to play the race card,but I demand to see Donald Trumps birth certicicate AND a DNA test so as to prove what he actually is-America is not ready for an burnt-orange President!

    Zappa’s mom

  9. adele says:

    Actually, ZM, I think we need to see those things just to find out if Trump’s human; I’m beginning to have my doubts. I saw footage of him at the White House Correspondent’s Dinner last night and got a good view of his hair from the back — for some reason the word “orangutan” occurred to me.

    BTW both Obama and Seth Meyers got off some good ones about Trump; it’s all over the internet.

  10. catsworking says:

    ZM, I think the color you’re looking for is “red ochre.” Wasn’t that the name of an orange Crayola?

    Adele, I saw the back of Trump’s head at the Correspondent’s dinner, too! I think a cameraman knew EXACTLY what he was doing there. The hair could have been growing up from Donald’s back. OR he’s got it SO long, he combs it up from the back, folds it over at his forehead, and it goes all the way to his collar again. That means, stretched out straight, it’s down past his waist.

    Loved the way Obama did a slam-dunk on Trump right to his face. Haven’t seen the Seth Meyers stuff yet.

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