Bye-Bye, Beck

By Adele

TV just regained an iota of sanity. Glenn Beck is walking away from his daily pulpit show on the Fox network (I can’t bring myself to call it Fox “News”). When he announced his departure to his dwindling viewers, he compared himself to Paul Revere, rationalizing that Revere’s historic ride through the streets of Boston was always intended as a one-off, not a lifelong commitment.

Fox claims the end of Beck’s run has nothing to do with disappearing ratings nor the fact that more than 400 Fox advertisers have specifically requested to not have their ads air during Beck’s brainless rants show.

You have to be special breed of raving lunatic to be too much for Fox to handle. The next generation of dictionaries may define insanity as “going stark-raving Beck.”

And no one will be surprised if, whenever Beck takes his final public bow, he’s wearing a Paul Revere costume with wraparound sleeves, accompanied by nice men in white who have a rubberized luxury suite in some undisclosed location prepared for him.

Fox says Beck will continue to do specials whenever he receives noteworthy warnings of the coming apocalypse through his tin-foil hat. And he’ll still be spewing hateful nonsense on the radio.

Beck’s undoubtedly telling himself that escaping the daily grind will leave him free to become an even richer and more powerful political force — like a certain former Alaska governor.

But Beck’s about to discover that his screaming and crying must be even louder and crazier to hold anybody’s attention. Whoever stopped watching him on TV didn’t do it because they’d rather listen to him on the radio or read his books.

If there’s one thing Beck should know about his followers, it’s that once they make up their mind about something, no one can change it back.

So it shouldn’t take too long for Beck’s already-sinking career as a pundit to implode — like a certain former Alaska governor’s.

And the world will be a better place.

5 Responses to Bye-Bye, Beck

  1. Imabear says:

    I’m sure Paul Revere is spinning in his grave…

  2. catsworking says:

    Imabear, if Paul Revere were alive today, I feel sure he’d be happy to strap Glenn Beck to the back of his saddle and let him scream at the top of his lungs as he were being dragged through the streets of Boston.

  3. Noel McWormald says:

    I’m only sorry that Jon Stewart will no longer have a reason to do dead-on parodies of Beck at his black board… but you know, Beck really does have a beautiful mind. No, really, a “beautiful mind” like the schizophrenic character Russell Crowe played in the film of the same name. I don’t hear that mentioned often. I wish Beck well. I do. I wish that Beck would hole up in a shack somewhere in his beloved heartland, eating powdered beef stroganoff, waiting for the Rapture. Good times. Good times.

  4. Suzanne says:

    We call it “Faux News.” Works for us!

  5. catsworking says:

    Noel, I hope you didn’t miss Stewart’s farewell tribute to Glenn Beck, complete with glasses and blackboard, that went on for 15-20 minutes. It was the first time we’ve seen him do it, and he was spot-on.

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