Cats Shed, Crimes Solved

By Adele

FINALLY, cats’ natural gift for shedding is gaining the respect it deserves.

Back in 1997, a murderer in Canada got 18 years in prison after fur found in the lining of his leather jacket matched Snowball, his victim’s cat. (Why murderers do only 18 years in Canada, who knows?)

That case was the first time cat DNA was ever used to convict somebody (an American scientist in Maryland actually performed the analysis). Not that there haven’t been ample other opportunities. Humans have just been slow to recognize the usefulness of shedding.

Now a scientist at the School of Veterinary Medicine at the University of California at Davis has collected DNA samples “from hundreds of cats from 25 distinct worldwide populations and 26 breeds. The samples came from drawn blood, cheek swabs and tissues collected during routine spay and neuter surgeries.”

The myriad results have experts convinced that an individual cat’s DNA is as distinctive as anybody else’s. (Previously, they believed the DNA of all cats of a certain breed is basically the same. How stupid is that?)

Given the fact that no criminal could possibly enter any location where there’s a furry cat and leave with nothing on his clothes, using cats to solve crimes is no-brainer and checking for cat hair at crime scenes will become as routine as dusting for prints.

I won’t go all technical and explain the science, because it’s boring and I don’t understand it myself, but it should have come as no surprise to scientists that humans haven’t cornered the market on incriminating DNA.

So what does this mean for criminals? I’ll tell them…

If you’re thinking about committing a crime anywhere near a cat, scram! The chances of you getting away with it are now ZERO. You’ll be hunted down like a dog (no pun intended) and sniffed for so much as a particle of cat dander. Then you will pay for your crime. Promise.

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6 Responses to Cats Shed, Crimes Solved

  1. adele says:

    Adele, I often wondered about “cats in the same breed all have the same DNA.” It never made sense to me, considering, for instance, all the cats that are called American Shorthair. I actually know Alice’s mother, but have no idea who her father was — he could have been a black cat, who was part Siamese; she did have one black sibling.

    Alice says she’s going to try to shed extra hard, in case there’s a crime committed here. That way, the criminal will be easy to find. I’m sure you guys will do the same for Karen.

  2. Noel McWormald says:

    I consider my inability to keep my fur to myself the best way to ensure that my person is avenged should someone decide to kill her (unless the killer intends to kill me too of course). I haven’t thought that through. I’ll get back to you on this.

  3. catsworking says:

    Adele, cats are, and always have been, like snowflakes. No 2 are alike. Anyone who has ever known a cat knows this. Scientists who ever thought we were cloned from identical DNA were idiots. I’d be willing to bet some treats that they’d find different DNA in insects, too. Do they think God just decided to take shortcuts when it came to creating certain creatures (if you believe we came into being that way)?

    Noel, now that the authorities have the technological know-how to convict the persp, I think it’s time humans start considering the death penalty for animal abuse and killing.

  4. zappa says:

    Adele,I have my Crime Detection fur allover my mom/s house and Grandma’s as well! Gran had a new sofa delivered this week,and when the old one was taken away,a TON of my black fur was found(pale carpet) I left it there as a tracking device should anyone think of doing harm to my Grandma! And Humans think dogs protect them!

    Zappa

  5. catsworking says:

    Way to go, Zappa!

    Karen has a black wool coat that she spends hours brushing and rubbing with tape to get all the fur off. But as soon as she walks from her bedroom to the front door in it, all the fur is back! Since I can’t accompany her in her travels around town, it’s my little way of protecting her from muggers. They couldn’t lay a hand on her without picking up some of my fur.

  6. Tuxi says:

    Hi Karen and Kitties! Glad to hear forensic science is taking the value of cat hair and cat DNA seriously! We cats know who belongs in our world and can stealthly mark a heinous criminal. I hope none of us ever have to nab a killer, but we know how. I like to rub up against Aunt Terri’s dress pants and put my beautiful black & white hair on them!

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