Obama’s New WTF Strategy

By Yul

If a ditz like Sarah Palin can figure out that Obama’s new slogan, “Winning the Future,” abbreviates to WTF, you just know the morning after his State of the Union speech, Obama was incredulously asking, “Didn’t anybody realize that?”

(Note to Palin: WTF is not an “acronym” because it doesn’t form a pronounceable word. But I bet you call all abbreviations acronyms, don’tcha, because you think it makes you sound smarter.)

Although I’m still proud there’s a black cat in the White House, my reaction to “winning the future” is WTF?

Think about it.

“Losing the future” means dying, so “winning the future” means not dying. But you know the politicians intend to spin it to mean anything. Circular gibberish is partly what got the U.S. into a mess in the first place. Shoveling another slogan on top isn’t going to help.

Except for WTF, Obama’s State of the Union was breathtakingly devoid of facts, specifics, and eloquence. About 18 minutes in, he said…

“We need to teach our kids that it’s not just the winner of the Super Bowl who deserves to be celebrated, but the winner of the science fair.”

…and got a standing ovation. Clearly, some barrel-bottom-scraping was going on.

That applause was particularly hurl-worthy when we all know some of the bastards who clapped will turn around and try to decimate education spending because they believe book-larnin’ ain’t gonna fix what ails this country — but letting every redneck and psycho pack an assault weapon will.

(BTW, Obama must have ad libbed that Super Bowl/science fair comment because it’s not in the official text. Too bad he didn’t ad lib the rest.)

His other gem was, “This is our Sputnik moment.”

Sputnik!? WTF indeed.

Obama even fell flat sprinkling in those little stories about the nobodies he had planted in the audience for their 15 seconds of fame.

But what he did give us was a non-pharmaceutical cure for insomnia. Tonight, if you have trouble sleeping, watch this. You’ll be sawing logs within minutes. Guaranteed.


5 Responses to Obama’s New WTF Strategy

  1. C from FL says:

    Let’s face it, our gov. and economy (and the global economy for that matter) is broken and NOBODY knows how to fix it. I think most of those in office don’t have a clue how “real people” are suffering. Oh yeah, they may have a “boo-hoo” moment but then get back in their limos and have a 5 course meal (most of it consists of “pork”, I might add). Gov. waste is rampant, the “bailed-out” banks won’t lend. Our profit driven healthcare system is disgusting, and will someone please tell me how these insane wars in the Middle East have made us “safer”. I voted for Obama and used to hang on his every word but I could not watch the State of the Union address this year because it seems he has morphed into a sound-byte machine instead of the statesman and leader we all hoped for. It is fashionable these days for the media and economic analysts to say that SS is the worst burden on our economy. C’mon, if everyone over 65 and all the disabled were to die tomorrow there would still be a mess. WTF—indeed!

  2. catsworking says:

    C, you said a mouthful. Speaking of “profit driven healthcare,” Karen was holding her breath every time she opened the mailbox in December, waiting for Anthem’s “bend over, we’re gonna f**k you good on premiums” letter, but it never came. For a minute, she thought she dodged a bullet, but then realized that the last time she downgraded her individual health insurance (so she’s now underinsured), Anthem’s foot-dragging in underwriting may have bumped her renewal date off to March. So the letter may be in the mail right now. They jacked her rate 17% before Obama’s health reform passed. Now that it’s law, let’s see what they do.

    I agree with you 100% that Obama’s communication skills seem to have gone down the toilet since he became president. Either he’s working real hard to keep every bit of emotion and creativity bottled up so he seems presidential, or he’s got one stinking stable of speechwriters. These days, he couldn’t inspire Bo to take a tinkle in the Rose Garden.

    It was a truly barf-inducing sight to watch all the politicians smarmily air-kissing and glad-handing each other before and after the SOTU speech, like they’ve got anything to be proud of or celebrate. They all should have shuffled in and out of that place in silence, with their tails tucked between their legs in shame. It occurred to me that it truly was an historic moment: where else could you find so many self-serving, greedy, dishonest, two-faced, pompous, grossly overpaid do-nothings assembled under one roof?

  3. C from FL says:

    Ha! Love your words. Oh, and by the way, don’t worry– I am sure there will be a new “gov. study” to find the answer to your last question. Aren’t you sick of all those wasted, gov. funded studies that tell us stuff we already know? The only unanswered question that remains is why do we keep re-electing these bone-heads? Now that is a WHY The F**k!

  4. catsworking says:

    C, I think decent, reasonable people (which includes nobody in the Tea Party) who decide to run for office automatically turn into bone-heads as soon as they see what a cushy do-nothing job it is, with great pay and benefits. There’s absolutely NO incentive for them to stay honest and diligent. The only way to fix what’s wrong with Washington is to fire EVERYBODY and start over, pay them a pittance and offer no benefits so they have to keep their day jobs to survive. Then maybe they’ll remember the value of a buck.

    Sheesh! Even Dennis Kucinich has jumped the shark. He’s suing the Congressional cafeteria for $150K because he bit down on an olive pit in his wrap — THREE YEARS AGO!!

    Government-funded studies of the obvious are another a sore spot. Obama talks about “out-innovating” the rest of the world, yet instead of exploring new ground, we seem to constantly keep second-guessing whatever yesterday’s studies revealed. One day, milk builds strong bones. The next day, no it doesn’t. But it’s good for your teeth. No, it makes kids fat. No, it helps you LOSE weight.

    Cats Working has reached the point where whenever some talking head mentions that the results of some new government study on food are coming up, we change the channel.

  5. C from FL says:

    The only dish that should be served in the Congressional cafeteria should be crow!

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