Cats love Christmas — except for poisonous poinsettias, cleaning up, and putting away — so I was dismayed by a poll that revealed only 48% of cat owners are buying us presents this year.
Adding insult to injury, 56% of dogs are on their owners’ gift lists.
What is WRONG with you people?
Luckily, you still have 3 days to redeem yourself and remain in your cat’s good graces.
In a pinch, your grocery store stocks plenty of feline gifts you can pick up while buying your Christmas feast. The pet aisle has many varieties of gourmet cat food and treats, and even a few lame toys.
Imagine your cat’s joy on Christmas morning while ripping open a brand-new catnip mouse. (Tip: Wrap in plenty of paper and curly ribbon). Remember, it’s the thought that counts, so when he immediately bats the mouse under the couch and stalks off to sulk for the rest of the day on your bed, you’ll know exactly what he thought of the cheap ‘nip.
From the rest of the grocery store, your cat might appreciate a nice can of fancy people tuna (packed in water, a separate delicacy) or even a jar of all-meat baby food.
If your cat has a thing for potato chips, green beans, cheese, or yogurt, indulge it in moderation. Everybody eats what they shouldn’t at the holidays.
But if you REALLY want to make your cat’s Christmas one he’ll remember for the rest of his nine lives, visit a department or pet supply store and buy him a snuggly blankie, a comfy bed, or something to sharpen his claws on. Lay in a good supply of primo ‘nip for the long winter nights to come. Get us one of our must-have toys. Like sparkle balls, which glisten so prettily among the dust bunnies under the fridge. We also love feathers on a stick, but only if your New Year’s resolution to lose weight includes doing laps around the house to make the feathers fly like a bird.
WARNING: Presents we DON’T want are litterboxes (especially new-fangled electronic ones), exotic new litters, litter scoops, grooming tools, or bowls. That’s like Santa leaving a mop, dishrag, comb, and a bottle of water in your stocking. And we appreciate new collars like you enjoy getting underwear. (Except for Cole. A new collar reassures him he’s not going back to the joint.)
We cats just want some small token of your esteem. If we’re so inclined, we’d also like you to sit still for a minute and allow us to curl up with you for a nice cuddle.
May Santa Kitty bring you everything you wish for! Merry Christmas!