An unnamed woman in Belmont, Massachusetts, is in deep doody for throwing dog poop in the name of justice. She was walking her dog through her ‘hood recently when a vehicle sped through. She thought the driver almost hit a man on a bike and indignantly threw the bag of poop she’d scooped at the vehicle. It went through the open window and splatted in the driver’s face.
Now the woman faces charges of “assault and battery with a dangerous weapon, vandalism to property, and disorderly conduct.”
Fortunately, no charges were brought against her dog for “aiding and abetting” by supplying the woman with said dangerous weapon.
That woman shouldn’t be prosecuted. She should get a medal. She was doing the right thing by picking up after her dog. The driver was potentially homicidal, not some innocent victim.
Neighborhood Watch associations should follow the poop-thrower’s example and enlist all their dog-walking residents to give speeders the same treatment. It would serve two purposes:
1. Irresponsible dog owners who now don’t pick up after their pets would be more likely to start if they could have the thrill of flinging a steaming pile at a bad driver.
2. If more speed demons knew they might end up with a puss full of poop, maybe they’d slow down.
The speed limit on our street is 25 mph, yet drivers whiz through here like they’re training for NASCAR. Seems like our used kitty litter could do something to address the problem. Hmmmm…..